Have you ever tried to finance a home? Mortgage companies advise that your total debt to income ratio not exceed 36%. For your example above that would give you a gros of $8,333/month. 36% of this is $3,000 subtract your $1,900 a month loan payment and you are left with $1,100 a month for a car and house payment. Good luck finding a "modest" house in most of the markets today. Even $300,000 won't buy you that much. $1,100 wouldn't allow for a $162,000 loan not even counting taxes or insurance, which are considerable. As I said it is all a matter of what you consider important and what you have grown used to.
FYI. I used to make just over $100k combined with my wife and I lived in a town in west texas with an extremely low cost of living. We lived well in a nice home, but were not able to invest in retirement or our son's college fund to the extent that we wanted to. Now that I have moved to a larger town the cost of living is extremely different. The same price home is farther away from the center of the city and 2/3 the size.