Medical How should I answer "What do you contribute" Essay?

[Goro]

Hi all; I'm looking to answer the "what do you contribute" prompt and have been bouncing around a few different ideas. I'd love some thoughts on what comes off the strongest:

1. I've been working at the NIH headquarters for the past year doing clinical/translational research. Because of that, I think my perspective on medical innovation is unique. I'm coming in with a lot of knowledge about how clinical trials are run and have also seen some pretty rare cases/ met people from all over the world.

2. I was an EMT for 4 years and volunteered in one of the most diverse towns in NJ. I responded to a wide variety of calls and sometimes used my Spanish (dual major in college). Also key for me when I got leadership positions was mentoring the younger women in the squad; I noticed we weren't always taught to do the more "male" tasks at the squad (driving the ambulance, operating the stretcher, changing out big oxygen tanks) and it was important to me to teach these as I learned them.

3. The way that some applicants come from a line of doctors, I come from a line of teachers (mostly early childhood education). One of my "most meaningful experiences" was as a biology instructor for a program at my school that provided supplemental education to students from backgrounds underrepresented in medicine. Teaching/mentoring has been important for me in other activities too (EMS as listed above as well as basically any lab/job I've been in). Since patient education is an important part of being a physician, I thought I could work this in.

Any thoughts would be appreciated; thanks y'all.

Can you give us the exact wording of the prompt?

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[Goro]

Heads up I wrote 2 sample responses- if you want you can just vote:

Sample response #1
“Dispatch to the River Road Rescue Squad for a fall the Sterling Village Apartments”. I sprung out of bed and pulled on my jacket as the alarms blared. The address seemed familiar; weren’t we here a few weeks ago?

When my team walked in the apartment, I immediately recognized Ms. Doe. She had a similar fall two months ago in the same spot; a gap next to her bed. While we took vital signs, I probed more into her living situation. She told me that her leg weakness, stemming from multiple medical conditions, made it hard for her to get into bed safely. With her adult children living far away no health aide, she found herself in the same situation repeatedly. We were fortunate that night that Ms. Doe had no damage from her fall, but I knew I needed to take action to prevent this possibility in the future. I fulfilled my responsibility as a first responder and informed the Emergency Department team of our patient’s social situation.

Because of my perspective volunteering as an EMT in one of New Jersey’s most diverse towns, I understand how social and environmental factors influence a patient’s health. I also realize that creating effective treatment plans for those with multiple chronic conditions means establishing rapport with these patients and understanding the realities of their living situation. I would take my perspectives into my medical education at NJMS: in the classroom, during clinical rotations, and while conversing with peers.

Sample response #2:
“Aren’t we going to let the guys do that?” Krishna peered over my shoulder as Vivian and I screwed the first bolt in place. Changing our ambulance’s bulky oxygen tank was a task normally reserved for male EMTs. But our oxygen level fell below the standard for our daily rig check. As crew chief, I took this as a chance to teach an essential skill to my all-female crew.

When I started out as an EMT at my rescue squad, I appreciated the instruction I received from more experienced superiors. But I also noticed that young women like myself were prompted to engage in administrative tasks, like documentation or inventory, rather than operational, like driving the ambulance or loading the stretcher. I knew that to succeed in Emergency Medical Services (EMS), both skill sets were necessary. As a result, when I rose into an operational leadership role, I used my position to empower the younger women on my crew to gain confidence with our machinery and vehicles.

Because of my experience as a woman volunteering in EMS, a traditionally male-dominated field, I understand how implicit biases affect dynamics in medical teams and healthcare systems. I also understand my role as an up-stander in taking initiative to combat these biases and create an equitable environment for all. I would take my perspectives into my medical education at NJMS: in the classroom, during clinical rotations, and while conversing with peers.

You are not answering the prompt.

The Prompt is a variation of how would you contribute to the class's diversity. This is another way of saying what is cool about you?

"What do you bring to the class" is not about what things do you have that are Universal to medical school applicants.
That's what the topics you have already written about actually are.

Introspection is a required trait for a doctor, so try again.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Let me change your perspective. Reading the prompt, let me ask you:
Describe an environment (a community) which fosters collaboration, cohesiveness, equity and social justice where you have thrived or helped others thrive.

 

[tantacles]

We are committed to an environment which fosters collaboration, cohesiveness, equity and social justice. With this in mind, how will you contribute to the NJMS community? 1500 characters

Heads up I wrote 2 sample responses- if you want you can just vote:

Sample response #1
“Dispatch to the River Road Rescue Squad for a fall the Sterling Village Apartments”. I sprung out of bed and pulled on my jacket as the alarms blared. The address seemed familiar; weren’t we here a few weeks ago?

When my team walked in the apartment, I immediately recognized Ms. Doe. She had a similar fall two months ago in the same spot; a gap next to her bed. While we took vital signs, I probed more into her living situation. She told me that her leg weakness, stemming from multiple medical conditions, made it hard for her to get into bed safely. With her adult children living far away no health aide, she found herself in the same situation repeatedly. We were fortunate that night that Ms. Doe had no damage from her fall, but I knew I needed to take action to prevent this possibility in the future. I fulfilled my responsibility as a first responder and informed the Emergency Department team of our patient’s social situation.

Because of my perspective volunteering as an EMT in one of New Jersey’s most diverse towns, I understand how social and environmental factors influence a patient’s health. I also realize that creating effective treatment plans for those with multiple chronic conditions means establishing rapport with these patients and understanding the realities of their living situation. I would take my perspectives into my medical education at NJMS: in the classroom, during clinical rotations, and while conversing with peers.

Sample response #2:
“Aren’t we going to let the guys do that?” Krishna peered over my shoulder as Vivian and I screwed the first bolt in place. Changing our ambulance’s bulky oxygen tank was a task normally reserved for male EMTs. But our oxygen level fell below the standard for our daily rig check. As crew chief, I took this as a chance to teach an essential skill to my all-female crew.

When I started out as an EMT at my rescue squad, I appreciated the instruction I received from more experienced superiors. But I also noticed that young women like myself were prompted to engage in administrative tasks, like documentation or inventory, rather than operational, like driving the ambulance or loading the stretcher. I knew that to succeed in Emergency Medical Services (EMS), both skill sets were necessary. As a result, when I rose into an operational leadership role, I used my position to empower the younger women on my crew to gain confidence with our machinery and vehicles.

Because of my experience as a woman volunteering in EMS, a traditionally male-dominated field, I understand how implicit biases affect dynamics in medical teams and healthcare systems. I also understand my role as an up-stander in taking initiative to combat these biases and create an equitable environment for all. I would take my perspectives into my medical education at NJMS: in the classroom, during clinical rotations, and while conversing with peers.

I think this narrative format in the first paragraph is a bit tiresome and reads like the satirical worst med school personal statement (which I think is googleable). I would not go in that direction. You can shorten these essays and just get straight to the point.

That being said, have you ever experienced discrimination for being a woman in any of these fields? It sounds like being a female EMT had some impact on you because of your gender, and what would interest me is unpacking that a little bit more and how it might help you empathize with some of the problems your female peers might face. Instead, your second essay, which I think has potential, focuses in more on your ability to teach other women initially. You might think about writing about an instance where you were asked to do an administrative task instead of a practical one and how that experience can be leveraged to help your marginalized female patients. I know you touch on it a bit, but I'd love to see that piece of it expanded.