How Should I Proceed?

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reluctantoptimism

Shrews and Trucks
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I've been quite sick this whole week and I've therefore missed a good deal of school work (including an exam or two). I should be able to get a physician's note but I just feel like a lazy, useless husk (I know that I should not feel this way). As of late, I've feel like a complete waste and as if I'm not suited to pursue my dream (again, I know I shouldn't feel this way).

I still should be able to get a good GPA this semester but I just feel like I'm not responsible and in control of my life.

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This is all because you got sick for a week or are there other reasons?
 
Sounds like depression to me
 
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Sounds like depression to me

Yeah, I've been diagnosed in the past. I've only got 2 semesters left before I apply and it just seems like my mental state is so counterproductive to me achieving anything.
 
Yeah, I've been diagnosed in the past. I've only got 2 semesters left before I apply and it just seems like my mental state is so counterproductive to me achieving anything.

In that case you shouldn't get mental health advice over the internet, get in touch with the counselling services at your school (can be helpful for anyone, not just treatment of mental illness).
 
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In that case you shouldn't get mental health advice over the internet, get in touch with the counselling services at your school (can be helpful for anyone, not just treatment of mental illness).


I'm going to see a professional soon but I was just trying to see if anyone here has ever felt similar to the way I'm feeling.
 
I'm going to see a professional soon but I was just trying to see if anyone here has ever felt similar to the way I'm feeling.

Most definitely, not an uncommon situation at all. Prioritize your health over med school aspirations if you want to both get better and find success.
 
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I'm at a point in my life where I feel as if all is lost. I'm looking at my transcript and it is stacked with W's as well as good grades. I know I have the ability to pursue my dream (medicine) but my record doesn't reflect what I know. I'm thinking that I should just finish undergrad and do a SMP or post-bacc in order to demonstrate that I'm not incompetent. I just feel as if I'm never going to amount to anything and I'm going to wind up like some of my bitter family members. In retrospect, I know my issue is due to emotional issues but I know most adcoms are not going to be empathetic to my issues
 
I just feel as if I'm never going to amount to anything and I'm going to wind up like some of my bitter family members. In retrospect, I know my issue is due to emotional issues but I know most adcoms are not going to be empathetic to my issues

Probably temporary. Try one or a combination of the many opiates available to you, including but not limited to entertainment, hobbies, exercise, sex, or literal opiates (rx required, but not from a creepy pcp at a pain clinic that gives them out like candy).
 
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Probably temporary. Try one or a combination of the many opiates available to you, including but not limited to entertainment, hobbies, exercise, sex, or literal opiates (rx required, but not from a creepy pcp at a pain clinic that gives them out like candy).

So, no advice?
 
I really disagree with the above

Take care of your health
Come up with a good story for the adcom
Talk to health advisors or here about your app stats
May be good to take some easy classes part time or other school or gap year to work on your health while keeping you resume looking OK

I've been where you are maybe worse and still got my MD

It's all about playing the game, keeping your resume afloat while setting up some mental health care
I'm not supposed to give med advice but I will give you some tips

I give you carte blanche to stretch truth on whatever well respected struggles aren't your personal mental health struggles to account for grades, something sympathetic to adcom and sounds time limited and resolved, just because they will doom you for the truth and I don't think the stigma associated with mental health, I don't think legally it's their business or to hold it against you so if it's not too much a stretch that your family has had health or other financial issues you had to help with but are otherwise not an issue anymore, that is the best excuse I've seen, most people with mental health issues their relatives have stuff going on too and you can point to that, it's usually a contributing factor in reality, so in truth just refocussing there

To take care of yourself
1) seek help, try to get some counseling established
2) Eat healthy, or at least be sure to have breakfast and healthy snacks on you, if money is an issue look into food boxes/pantries to help you get some, usually don't have much by way of snacks but can help free up your food budget to buy more convenience foods for class like granola bars etc
3) Get into sleep hygeine, look that up, try to create the best sleeping environment you can, I have ideas if you want to share your particular issues with sleep
Cut back on caffeine after 2-4 pm or within 8 hrs of bedtime
You can look into melatonin but I hesitate to tell anyone to take any other OTC herbs etc for depression without talking with a MD/DO
4) You would likely benefit from a multivitamin, patricularly look into vitamin D, consider fish oil too, Costco enteric coated from Amazon is cheap, keep in freezer to avoid fish burps most common side effect
5) I highly suggest anyone with any mental health or mood or productivity issues cut out alcohol almost entirely if you can, it can seem to help you get to sleep, but is proven to affect sleep quality and mood negatively without you really tracing it back to that, even just drinking once a week, I would go with none, maybe not forwver but definitely when feeling like **** raises it's ugly head, if for social reasons it's hard to abide by that, try to keep it to only 1-2 servings once a week when you have no responsibilities or great need for productivity the next day, cut out any other street mood altering stuff like MJ etc
6) Exercise but I know that can be hard, even just getting 10 minutes of walking a day more than what you're doing now, a brisk walk, chair stretches as a bit of a break with studying

7) If you can sit by a window with a view, maybe with a little plant or beta fish to keep you company, sunlight (if there is any), having plants/pets life that depends on you helps
8) If you're reaching for the mental opiates as StudyLater suggests, I suggest looking into Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional families, you can google them and see if that fits you or might be helpful, even if you don't think it reading my post at least check out the website
Online is a website called "Self Esteem Anonymous" or SEA that has useful tools

I hope this helps somewhat, feel free to PM me
 
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So, no advice?

That was pretty solid albeit very concise advice.

There's no magic solution here--I know you know that. I've also been clinically depressed before and it sucks. A combination of meds and occasional therapy and eating well and meaningful endeavors have been my magic cocktail of happiness.

One "theory" that I've found really helpful on days where I feel completely worthless is the idea of having non zero days--essentially, if the only thing you can do all day is write one paragraph of your lab report, then cool. If it's ten minutes to midnight and you haven't gotten anything done, read a page of a textbook--you want to accomplish SOMETHING each day. I'm explaining this terribly but here's the original post:
 
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That was pretty solid albeit very concise advice.

There's no magic solution here--I know you know that. I've also been clinically depressed before and it sucks. A combination of meds and occasional therapy and eating well and meaningful endeavors have been my magic cocktail of happiness.

One "theory" that I've found really helpful on days where I feel completely worthless is the idea of having non zero days--essentially, if the only thing you can do all day is write one paragraph of your lab report, then cool. If it's ten minutes to midnight and you haven't gotten anything done, read a page of a textbook--you want to accomplish SOMETHING each day. I'm explaining this terribly but here's the original post:



I've been clinically depressed for about 10 years and it just seems like it never gets better. I find that when I describe how I feel it's never positive (i.e. I either feel bad or bad to a lesser degree). I just always feel that I've wasted so much of my life with depression. I could've been one of those kids who did I.B. and finished college at 19 and been extraordinary. I know that I have the scholastic ability for medical school but I feel like I'll never get there.

Someone once told me that going through hell early in life builds character and empathy but I don't want to feel like this anymore.
 
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If an online degree is offered by a good brick and mortar school and the degree doesn't indicate it was done online, would completing this degree be detrimental?
 
If an online degree is offered by a good brick and mortar school and the degree doesn't indicate it was done online, would completing this degree be detrimental?

I'd still try to avoid the online degree. Some schools don't take kindly to online courses, even less so than community college courses.

Take time to breathe. Dragging yourself through this process without taking time to step outside your own mind and reflect can be damaging to your mental state. For your sake (and others that are going through the same or similar situations) I'll share my story.

I entered college fully committed to becoming a doctor and on paper I was creating a great application. Stellar grades, balanced EC's and a considerable drive and motivation. But throughout my freshman year, there was always a pervasive sense of emptiness that I felt. To me, I felt alone. I didn't have many friends in college at the start, and I had immense pressure from my parents to do well. At times, I doubted whether I would make it through and if this was really my choice. As my first year progressed, these thoughts would crop up, along with thoughts of suicide. At the time, it seemed like the only reasonable way to solve the problems I thought I had. But I never had attempted to do so.

In my sophomore year, I met one of my now closest friends. She was responsible for helping me change my life. She helped me to talk through my mind, slowly unraveling the defensive walls I had built up. Eventually, I found the courage to speak with the school's therapists about these issues.

All of that pain that I carried with me through the years began to slowly slough off with these sessions, and I found myself no longer blaming myself for things I perceived to be my faults and mistakes. From there, I dragged my entire family to family counseling sessions with another therapist to resolve the issues in how the power structure and interactions in my family were carried out. In the same time span (now towards my junior year) I rediscovered my own sense of purpose. Between that and the therapy sessions, I was able to reset my mindset. While I was not officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety, the symptoms were evident. I never thought that anything I had achieved was ever good enough throughout my start in college, and that I was not truly a good person. But now, I'm sitting on a balcony, smoking a good cigar and reflecting on the true triumphs and blessings that I have neglected to acknowledge over the course of my life.

Every day that we live is an opportunity to make our lives our own. Depression and anxiety can cloud that, but we have to find the strength to make ourselves better. For myself and for many others on the other side of depression, it all started with a small crack. A guiding light in the darkness. That's why I swear by therapy and counseling. It helped bring me out of the echo chamber in my own head and realize that I am the only person who dictates my own success, and my happiness. We can choose to live by others' standards, words, and messages, or we can make everything we do and every endeavor we are a part of our own. To quote The Alchemist, we have the power to fulfill our own Personal Legend, but to do so we must take the initiative on it and shape our own way forward.

Seek out therapy if you feel that it will help you. As @NotASerialKiller stated, focus on your mental health first. Your medical school aspirations will become far more possible by doing so, and you'll find yourself loving the person that you have become. PM me if you'd like to talk more.

Well, there goes my allotted time for being serious in one day lol
 
I understand the prejudice against online degrees but what if I intend to apply to an SMP (I'm interested in the Georgetown SMP)?
 
hey we all go through slumps. Something a prolonged slump may be an indication of a more serious issue, but that shouldnt discourage you, because talking to a professional really can help.

You asked if there is someone else that felt the same way. Most def. The high velocity lifestyle, exacerbated by something like being sick, can trigger more than we bargain for in a given semester. It would be foolish to say something like "just keep going" but a reluctant optimism is the way to go in these situations ;) Its no doubt that getting sick takes a mental toll especially if you are already in a situation like school. I have been hacking coughing nonstop. I use those disabled bathrooms to spit up yellow mucus ~_~

I digress. But a therapy session is kind of helpful no matter where you are in life. I think this is the best option for ya. God it helped clear up my mind. Take care of yourself now for the long run like people pointed out ^.

With medical school sometimes the difficulty is that too much is up in the air, too much needs to be done, and the goal is not tangible, as doctors as role models are often out of reach. If you can try to look for things that might spur up some inspiration. These will help. But keep in mind these motivational jolts will need to be replenished on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, so dont be hard on yourself if u feel the need to seek more of them.

Gonna steal Strigon words :) "I'm sitting on a balcony, smoking a good cigar and reflecting on the true triumphs and blessings that I have neglected to acknowledge over the course of my life."

This ^ ! the fact that you are still standing there and trying, looking and talking about it is a huge feat in itself.
you have what it takes. Dont ever doubt that. This process can be very harsh mentally. But you got to do your best to preserve who you are and grow from the process at the same time. This can be easily explored and evident in therapy sessions. Its like someone comes in and tilts the picture of your life, and you have to interpret what the painting means from this angle. A whole new perspective
 
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hey we all go through slumps. Something a prolonged slump may be an indication of a more serious issue, but that shouldnt discourage you, because talking to a professional really can help.

You asked if there is someone else that felt the same way. Most def. The high velocity lifestyle, exacerbated by something like being sick, can trigger more than we bargain for in a given semester. It would be foolish to say something like "just keep going" but a reluctant optimism is the way to go in these situations ;) Its no doubt that getting sick takes a mental toll especially if you are already in a situation like school. I have been hacking coughing nonstop. I use those disabled bathrooms to spit up yellow mucus ~_~

I digress. But a therapy session is kind of helpful no matter where you are in life. I think this is the best option for ya. God it helped clear up my mind. Take care of yourself now for the long run like people pointed out ^.

With medical school sometimes the difficulty is that too much is up in the air, too much needs to be done, and the goal is not tangible, as doctors as role models are often out of reach. If you can try to look for things that might spur up some inspiration. These will help. But keep in mind these motivational jolts will need to be replenished on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, so dont be hard on yourself if u feel the need to seek more of them.

Gonna steal Strigon words :) "I'm sitting on a balcony, smoking a good cigar and reflecting on the true triumphs and blessings that I have neglected to acknowledge over the course of my life."

This ^ ! the fact that you are still standing there and trying, looking and talking about it is a huge feat in itself.
you have what it takes. Dont ever doubt that. This process can be very harsh mentally. But you got to do your best to preserve who you are and grow from the process at the same time. This can be easily explored and evident in therapy sessions. Its like someone comes in and tilts the picture of your life, and you have to interpret what the painting means from this angle. A whole new perspective


Thank you so much for these words.

Would entrance to an SMP be hindered if I were to complete an online bachelors?
 
Thank you so much for these words.

Would entrance to an SMP be hindered if I were to complete an online bachelors?

No problem :)

Your best bet is to contact the specific schools you might be interested in. On a few websites I have checked and looked at requirements, this was not a discernible issue. But this type of question is specific to the school(s) of your choice, so get in touch with admissions about it so you know what you are working with.
 
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