How to Capitalize on Doctor's Social Status

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VentJockey

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Some may think this thread is tacky, but I think its an important skill. The fact is that our status as physicians can bring us some really great social benefits. I ran a little informal experiment: I kept track of the people who messaged me on a dating site when my photo was me in a t-shirt, and then I changed the photo to me in a white coat with a stethescope. Can you guess what happened? 3X more messages, double the response rate to messages I sent, and lots of people sending me unsolicited explicit images. Conclusion: When I conveyed my status as a physician, potential dates became much more highly interested in me. I really like this!!!

So, I am trying to figure out tactful ways of making the fact that I am a doctor known in social situations, so I can experience the social benefits. One way that I have found, which has been highly successful, is to send a wing man over to say, "My friend thinks you're really hot...you should talk to him, he's a doctor..." It is highly effective. But when I don't have a wing man with me to bring that fact up, I run the risk of sounding a little bit like an ass if I just blurt out that I'm a doctor. It sounds like I'm bragging. Ah what to do?!?

One solution I have come up with is to get business cards printed (my shop doesn't provide us with any), and then write my cell phone number on it and just say, "I think you're cute, send me a text if you'd like!". They'll figure out I'm a doctor from looking at the business card.

Another thing to do is carry my pager, and text a colleague to page me with a fake question. Then I can answer a page, get out my phone, call my colleague back and engage in a short important-sounding medical conversation. It is really a good way to telegraph social status. But its just one trick.

I'm sure you guys have other tricks. What are they?
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Well the least awkward way of telling people what you do is to ask what they do. If they are interested at all the natural response would be "Oh I am a ______, what do you do."
 
Watch american psycho. Synergize Patrick Bateman's moves with being a doctor - unstoppable. Hell you've already got the business cards down.

Also...don't be so obvious as to have a friend fake page you. The truly discriminating cougars know to look for the subtle bump of a pager on your hip.
 
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ruralsurg4now said:
WTF? I've specifically stated that I hide my physician status, which is the opposite of this thread. Why are you asking about me?
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Agreed. Can anyone think of some good ways to AVOID bringing up that you're a doctor? I'm not interested in attention from a bunch of gold-diggers and I hate getting medical questions when I'm out at the bar trying to have a good time.
 
Obviously where you are in life and what you're looking for will inform your decision. But it really makes very little sense to me. You spent a minimum of 8 years in school, put in hours that most people wouldn't be capable of, have demonstrated substantially above average intelligence, and I think all of that is worthy of some social status.

Physically, I'm not exactly top-notch. Maybe 5/10 is my realistic score. If I say I'm a janitor, people will subtract 2 and I'll be stuck dating/hooking up with 2-4/10. If that was all I could muster, I'd have to write myself an rx for slidenafil to accomplish anything in the bedroom. But I can easily date 8-9/10 *if they know I'm a doctor*. No viagra necessary there!

As far as concern that they are gold diggers....ummm.....well, I end up paying for dinners and trips anyway. Letting them know that I can actually afford it isn't such a bad thing. If they're going to try and get me to marry them and earn some alimony payment, GOOD LUCK haha, I'm not that kind of guy (at least for another 10-15 years). If someone sees me as a gold mine, the reality is that we're probably both going to get what we want, and its going to be over well before marriage is on the table. It is a win-win and I don't need viagra or a paper bag over their head.
 
VentJockey said:
If they're going to try and get me to marry them and earn some alimony payment, GOOD LUCK haha, I'm not that kind of guy (at least for another 10-15 years). If someone sees me as a gold mine, the reality is that we're probably both going to get what we want, and its going to be over well before marriage is on the table. It is a win-win and I don't need viagra or a paper bag over their head.
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You sound a bit like a narcissist. I think most quality women would avoid someone like that. It's no wonder you are getting women who are skanky enough to send you explicit pictures... as those clearly aren't women that you'd probably want to settle down with.

I guess it's up with you. If you want cheap hookups, then by all means flaunt your physician status. However, most of us here are already in our late 20s or early 30s, and looking for something more substantial in terms of meaningful relationships or marriage. The mentality of desiring hookups seems pretty juvenile to me. As a woman in medicine, I can understand being attracted to another physician - as I want a man of intelligence. However, for me, integrity, character, humility and kindness are the most important things I am looking for in a long-term relationship (leading to marriage). If I got any whiff of arrogance, I'd be long gone, no matter how much money or status the guy has.
 
This sounds like a sure-fire way to remarkably increase one's chances of being named in some random lawsuit.
In general, if you are smart, you are well advised to not advertise your status as a licensed physician outside of work. Not advertising your wealth goes along with common sense.
 
rkaz said:
If you want cheap hookups, then by all means flaunt your physician status. However, most of us here are already in our late 20s or early 30s, and looking for something more substantial in terms of meaningful relationships or marriage.
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By the way, this is the most bizarre form of thinking that most people seem to share. I've never understood it where people are totally OK with "cheap hookups" and random skank encounters for people in their 20s -- and even promote it like "yeah, we're in our 20s, this is how we're suposed to act!! Woooooo!!" -- and then suddenly when they turn 30 they immediately look down on it like "anyone who continues to participate in that behavior is now gross." That's silly thinking. Nothing changed from your early 20s to your 30s, if you're going to be honest with yourself.
 
rkaz said:
You sound a bit like a narcissist. I think most quality women would avoid someone like that. It's no wonder you are getting women who are skanky enough to send you explicit pictures... as those clearly aren't women that you'd probably want to settle down with.

I guess it's up with you. If you want cheap hookups, then by all means flaunt your physician status. However, most of us here are already in our late 20s or early 30s, and looking for something more substantial in terms of meaningful relationships or marriage. The mentality of desiring hookups seems pretty juvenile to me. As a woman in medicine, I can understand being attracted to another physician - as I want a man of intelligence. However, for me, integrity, character, humility and kindness are the most important things I am looking for in a long-term relationship (leading to marriage). If I got any whiff of arrogance, I'd be long gone, no matter how much money or status the guy has.
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Thank you! These types of posts make me have some faith in our brethren. I don't know what magic vagina most guys are searching for. After awhile it's not fun to be going after skanky women or breaking the hearts of nice ones.

Most of the boys think they can give something back to these women because they're the best thing in bed because they grew up watching too much Tommy Gunn and think real women are like porn stars.

I thought you were a dude when you posted this lol. Just wish more men had some sense; makes the rest of us look like walking penises.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
WTF? I've specifically stated that I hide my physician status, which is the opposite of this thread. Why are you asking about me?
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Because you're the doc who despite his physician status is "urrggghh single" 🙂 It was supposed to be funny, lol.
 
thesauce said:
Agreed. Can anyone think of some good ways to AVOID bringing up that you're a doctor? I'm not interested in attention from a bunch of gold-diggers and I hate getting medical questions when I'm out at the bar trying to have a good time.
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If you're trying not to lie, I generally just say "I work at the hospital" and then sit there. But that usually just postpones the inevitable "what do you do there?" followup because most people aren't polite enough to leave well enough alone. That usually means at that point you either tell them the truth or blatantly lie and say "I'm a tech/male nurse/janitor." Alternatively, you can try to immediately turn the conversation to them, like "I work at the hospital, what do you do?"
 
Silent Cool said:
Because you're the doc who despite his physician status is "urrggghh single" 🙂 It was supposed to be funny, lol.
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The empty pit within my soul is not there for your entertainment!! :bag:
 
ruralsurg4now said:
By the way, this is the most bizarre form of thinking that most people seem to share. I've never understood it where people are totally OK with "cheap hookups" and random skank encounters for people in their 20s -- and even promote it like "yeah, we're in our 20s, this is how we're suposed to act!! Woooooo!!" -- and then suddenly when they turn 30 they immediately look down on it like "anyone who continues to participate in that behavior is now gross." That's silly thinking. Nothing changed from your early 20s to your 30s, if you're going to be honest with yourself.
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Well if you'd really like me to be honest with you.... I am actually NOT OK with hookup behavior at any age (for me, personally). My first and only partner was my husband (soon-to-be ex husband, unfortunately, as I loved him but did not love his personality disorder, and had no other choice but to leave the relationship as he wouldn't seek help). However, just because I hold myself to super high standards, doesn't mean that I expect others to do the same... and I am understanding of the fact that is is pretty normal for teenagers and those in their early 20s to let their hormones lead the way. I don't encourage the behavior in any way, but I do realize it's a stage of life that many people pass through - and hopefully they will grow out of it, and find deeper meaning in stable monogamous relationships. Hence the reason why I concede the behavior might be more reasonable for a younger person, but by the time you are entering your late 20s or thereafter, your maturity levels should start taking you beyond your hormones.

If someone holds others to a higher standard than himself/herself, I consider that judgmental and hypocritical. However, if you hold higher levels of standards for yourself, and are understanding that others may not have the same desire to live in the same way, I call that compassion. But even though I don't think the OP needs to live up to MY standards in any way, I still think there should be a basic level of maturity that arises by the time you have finished medical school. After all, most of us because doctors "to help people" and as such, it seems crass to objectify others in such a way.
 
rkaz said:
Well if you'd really like me to be honest with you.... I am actually NOT OK with hookup behavior at any age (for me, personally).
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Neither do I, which is why I wrote what I did. But my point is the only difference between a 21-year-old and a 35-year-old is societal acceptance of hookup behavior. People seem to have this weird notion that people magically "get less horny" as time goes on, which, if it were true, would mean that nobody would be getting into affairs. Or they say "well, a thirty-year-old should know better." What? You mean 21 years passed and the 21-year-old's head is like a cheese grater full of holes? The only difference between the two is that the older person is told by society that "they should know better" is my point. So when people say "I could see you pulling this if you were 21, but you're 33!" it just makes me crack up. That's arbitrary thinking.

EDIT: If that wasn't clear enough, maybe an example would help. Like, I've seen news stories where women who posed for "Girls Gone Wild" are now upset about it since they're older and are now "respectable" women who are in "mature" careers. As if they didn't know that taking off their shirts was a problem when they were "only" nineteen but they figured it out at some point now that they're 27. That's hilarious.
 
SeekerOfTheTree said:
I thought you were a dude when you posted this lol. Just wish more men had some sense; makes the rest of us look like walking penises.
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Nah... I like men too much to reduce you all to 'walking penises'. When I met my ex-husband, I was overweight and insecure (he was slim). However, he made me feel incredibly beautiful and special, and the time I spent with him helped me to mature into a more confident person who believes that I deserve to be treated well, no matter what. I was also his first partner, as he also believed in waiting until marriage, despite him being in his late 20s. It's really sad that his personality disorder took a toll on the marriage, as I took my vows seriously and truly tried to make things work. However, when I enter the dating scene again in the very near future, I know what I want this time - and I feel fairly well assured that I will meet a quality guy (like my ex) who will be a person of integrity who treats women right.

In actuality, I'm not particularly bothered by the majority of what the OP has written (to each his/her own), but the part about needing to take viagra or put a paper bag over the woman's head.... that made me cringe. That woman is a human being, someone's daughter, someone's sister... not some sort of semen receptacle to be used like an object and then discarded the next day. She is not only her body, she is also her mind/intelligence, and personal qualities that make you decide whether to be with her or not. Although I am not a parent yet, I know there are many parents on this forum, and I can't imagine any parent wanting his/her daughter to date such a man (boy?) who needs viagra or a paper bag to 'get it up' with their daughter.

Ok... rant over. 🙂
 
Where to start.....I wish this thread had gone in a different direction, as I was really hoping to get constructive input on my original question.

First of all, Rkaz, you should go back and re-read my posts. I didn't mention anything about women. I can assure you that your daughter, as well as everyone else's daughter, is safe from me. I most assuredly do not view women as sexual objects! But, for what it's worth, I did get the idea for a paper bag from Benjamin Franklin (though he suggested a basket rather than a bag).
The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement
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Everyone has their own ideas about sex and relationships and what will make them happy. Quite frankly, I think the idea of marriage and procreation is an unwise--indeed, foolish--proposition for any self-sufficient man or woman. The way I see it, marriage ties you down and kids destroy your life (and finances!) But I realize that others see it differently, and I don't get on any moral high horse about it. Indeed, I wonder if in 10 or 15 years I'll get the marriage/kids bug. Whether that means I'm immature, or just have my own unique goals and aspirations, is a judgement I'll leave you to make; but I'd prefer that you keep your conclusions to yourself. I'll do what I want, and you do what you want, and hopefully, we'll both be happy with our respective outcomes.

I object quite strongly to your suggestion that there is anything "immature" about hookups or casual relationships. I know exactly what I want: casual relationships. Fun that doesn't get too serious. I know this because I don't respond sexually to anyone with a body that is not model quality. Yes, I could force myself into a long term relationship with someone who I admire intellectually and who is an all-around great person. But I really mean it when I say I would have to take viagra to be able to engage in sexual activity with them. Is that fair to them?! A healthy relationship is one where both parties get what they want. If a 21 year old college student with a great body wants to go to nice restaurants, on awesome vacations, and get all the science and math homework help they need, and they don't mind being in a relationship with a doctor who is physically quite a bit less than a model--well, we both get what we want. There is nothing shameful about this, nothing degrading and nothing wrong with it. I might go so far as to suggest that this sort of arrangement is quite common [check out the wives of John McCain and Fred Thompson as an example]. Indeed, it is the sort of relationship many people in this thread are likely to have after their marriages fail when they're past their physical prime. So, I could go and find a really great person with whom I connect on a spiritual level (hell, it might as well be a woman as it would make no difference) and use viagra to fake my way through sexual experiences, only to have that relationship burn out and end up in a nasty divorce because I was trying to fake something. Or I could just be honest with myself, and realize that for some reason, I'm just really, really picky--and then be thankful that I have something other than looks to bring to the table and that there are models out there who like what I have to offer. This isn't immature, it's honest and realistic.

Now I hope, after reading this explanation, that you'll simply accept that I'm not less mature than you, or somehow crassly objectifying people, but that instead I'm just doing what is right for me. And perhaps this thread can get back on the topic of how to tactfully let people know you're a doctor, so you can enjoy the social status that this brings. And, by the way, this isn't limited to relationships. It can get you better seats in a restaurant, possible upgrades on flights, and preferential treatment in a host of situations. Just last week I was having a dispute with my bank over some fees that I didn't like, and the representative called me Mr. VentJockey, while giving me a sassy attitude. I said, quite sharply, "You may address me as Dr. VentJockey!" The entire tone of the conversation changed, the fees I didn't like disappeared, and I was offered apologies. The title can do a lot for all of us. Perhaps we can turn this into a friendly discussion of how best to obtain those benefits.
 
rkaz said:
You sound a bit like a narcissist. I think most quality women would avoid someone like that. It's no wonder you are getting women who are skanky enough to send you explicit pictures... as those clearly aren't women that you'd probably want to settle down with.
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I also want to mention that I object quite strongly to the idea that anyone--women, men or whatever--is "skanky" because they send explicit photographs to their potential sex partners. Sexuality is not something we should be ashamed of, and there is *nothing* wrong with communicating that way. I think it is terrible that you judge people like this. People who allow sexually explicit photos of themselves (or engage in sexting) are not worthless, or irresponsible, or bad, or shameful. They are people who are secure with their sexuality. I realize that our culture, which is basically founded on the idea that we should be ashamed of our sexual impulses, condemns anyone who celebrates sexuality outside some very narrow confines--but it is not right and I would strongly urge you to re-think your prejudices against these "skanks", especially in light of the way you reacted to my comment about viagra and a paper bag.

And for the record, one of my most fulfilling relationships (both sexually and emotionally) was with a porn star. I see *nothing* wrong with settling down with them, or with someone who sends me an explicit text message. Indeed, I quite like getting explicit texts. So there.
 
Fair enough. I concede that I should have not used the word 'skanky' as that comes off as objectifying in it's own way, and demeaning. I retract that and agree with you.
 
You had an emotionally fulfilling relationship with a porn star? That's hilarious.
 
Although this might be a "socially unpolite" topic, i am interested in tips, 😀
 
VentJockey said:
And for the record, one of my most fulfilling relationships (both sexually and emotionally) was with a porn star. I see *nothing* wrong with settling down with them
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And in this, you are most certainly in the minority. Most men are not attracted to women that sleep around.
 
It's funny, when people ask what I do, I hate answering I'm a doctor. Too many questions for that point, especially from people who don't know what residents are. I just go with "order entry clerk at the local hospital" half the time 😛.
 
The OP apparently thinks there have been no advances on relationships between the sexes in the last 300 years. Would he also take advice on relationships between races from 300 years ago?

The OP rates himself a 5/10. He needs to work on that rather than flashing the doctor card. Get fit. Get well-groomed. Get well-dressed. Work on having great posture (it's an instant improvement in appearance and apparent status that most people don't have a clue about). Improve his social skills. As long as he is healthy with good teeth, if he does all that it will bump him way up the physical attractiveness scale to the point where the objective issues (height, facial symmetry, etc.) will start to get overlooked. The women the OP is going after all spend time to look good (porn stars, huh?). A man who spends time to look good will start to be in the same playpen.
 
This wasnt the thread i was expecting, i was talking about pulling the MD card to get small but meaningful gests of gratitude like free muffins.
 
I would point out to the OP that he neednt bother going to med school to pretend he's a Doctor. You can buy scrubs online cheap, still print out business cards, and still be just as ridiculous as the person who would be attracted to a "5" because of his job. But why do that when you can just as easily pretend to be an astronaut or a spy? Certainly a guy with ambition is more attractive to women than the guy who is complacent to eek out a minimum wage living without pushing the envelope of success. But business cards and shallow pitches? Weak and desperate.

And I'm not sure how you can link a clip of Scrubs on this particular thread and not find one with "the Todd" -- he seems to fit the OPs mentality much better than JD.
 
michaelrack said:
A lot changes. Brain development (formation of myelin sheaths) finishes at about age 25.
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That's great, so you're trying to say that acting irresponsibly is related in some way to myelin sheaths? You're a funny guy.
 
shopsteward said:
The OP rates himself a 5/10. He needs to work on that rather than flashing the doctor card. Get fit. Get well-groomed. Get well-dressed. Work on having great posture (it's an instant improvement in appearance and apparent status that most people don't have a clue about). Improve his social skills. As long as he is healthy with good teeth, if he does all that it will bump him way up the physical attractiveness scale to the point where the objective issues (height, facial symmetry, etc.) will start to get overlooked.
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I'm sorry, but most women are very shallow when it comes to height and facial attractiveness. You can't dress and groom your way from being 5'4" to 6'4". My friends who are very short who have been successful with women have all had two things in common: confidence and persistence. If you look like you're trying too hard (e.g. overdressing and trying to brag about being a doctor) or give up too easy, it screams not confident. Most women won't admit it, but they'll choose the 6'4" guy with masculine facial features over the 5'4" guy with soft features every time. Doesn't matter if the 6'4" guy failed out of college and is making 50 grand a year and the 5'4" guy is a neurosurgeon. Women might be persuaded after careful deliberation over many years to marry the other guy if the relationships with the tall guys fizzle out (or if she has severe confidence issues herself and dates out of her league so she is adored), but otherwise it's a meat market and the tall guy wins every single time and gets first pick if he wants it. Sad but true.
 
Law2Doc said:
I would point out to the OP that he neednt bother going to med school to pretend he's a Doctor. You can buy scrubs online cheap, still print out business cards, and still be just as ridiculous as the person who would be attracted to a "5" because of his job. But why do that when you can just as easily pretend to be an astronaut or a spy?
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Agree 100%. Doctor is a pretty common and lame choice if your goal is to dupe women. But even still, bragging about yourself,even if you are a fighter pilot, makes you a loser. You shouldn't have to brag. Women should be able to see that you are a quality person without you having to tell them.
 
thesauce said:
Agreed. Can anyone think of some good ways to AVOID bringing up that you're a doctor? I'm not interested in attention from a bunch of gold-diggers and I hate getting medical questions when I'm out at the bar trying to have a good time.
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This. I went out to bars a few times and avoid bringing up what I do. I initally say "I work at XXX hospital" and if they ask further, I'll bring it out. This did happen once, and sadly, that results in people being shocked and thinking I'm some super smart amazing person...which brings lots of attention...and resulting in me wanting to go back home.
 
thefritz said:
I'm sorry, but most women are very shallow when it comes to height and facial attractiveness. You can't dress and groom your way from being 5'4" to 6'4". My friends who are very short who have been successful with women have all had two things in common: confidence and persistence. If you look like you're trying too hard (e.g. overdressing and trying to brag about being a doctor) or give up too easy, it screams not confident. Most women won't admit it, but they'll choose the 6'4" guy with masculine facial features over the 5'4" guy with soft features every time. Doesn't matter if the 6'4" guy failed out of college and is making 50 grand a year and the 5'4" guy is a neurosurgeon. Women might be persuaded after careful deliberation over many years to marry the other guy if the relationships with the tall guys fizzle out (or if she has severe confidence issues herself and dates out of her league so she is adored), but otherwise it's a meat market and the tall guy wins every single time and gets first pick if he wants it. Sad but true.
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Not every single time. Confidence, without overtrying or overcompensating does work. explains how my shabby 5'4" self ended up with a gorgeous intelligent hottie 4 inches taller than me.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
That's great, so you're trying to say that acting irresponsibly is related in some way to myelin sheaths? You're a funny guy.
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It's a little more complex than that; it also has to do with the development of some deep gray matter structures. Here is a scholarly article discussing the phenomenon: http://www.ualberta.ca/~lphillip/documents/ni40-ft.pdf

Here are some articles aimed at the general public: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=141164708

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24173194
 
Rendar5 said:
Not every single time. Confidence, without overtrying or overcompensating does work. explains how my shabby 5'4" self ended up with a gorgeous intelligent hottie 4 inches taller than me.
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When people say stuff like this, my question is simple: so were you always attracting gorgeous, intelligent hotties who were taller than yourself? If you say "yes," then I'll buy that it was you being confident without overtrying or overcompensating. If your answer is "no," then you basically got lucky -- not as an insult, but just meaning that you were fortuitous that you ran into this person and she happened to be attracted to you.
 
michaelrack said:
It's a little more complex than that; it also has to do with the development of some deep gray matter structures.
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Before you go any further, I can assure you that it's not the case because otherwise 11-year-olds would be the most promiscuous people in society, far more so than 20-year-olds with more myelin sheaths.
 
thefritz said:
I'm sorry, but most women are very shallow when it comes to height and facial attractiveness. You can't dress and groom your way from being 5'4" to 6'4". My friends who are very short who have been successful with women have all had two things in common: confidence and persistence. If you look like you're trying too hard (e.g. overdressing and trying to brag about being a doctor) or give up too easy, it screams not confident. Most women won't admit it, but they'll choose the 6'4" guy with masculine facial features over the 5'4" guy with soft features every time. Doesn't matter if the 6'4" guy failed out of college and is making 50 grand a year and the 5'4" guy is a neurosurgeon. Women might be persuaded after careful deliberation over many years to marry the other guy if the relationships with the tall guys fizzle out (or if she has severe confidence issues herself and dates out of her league so she is adored), but otherwise it's a meat market and the tall guy wins every single time and gets first pick if he wants it. Sad but true.
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Just my 2cents as a woman I would go for the 5'4" neurosurgeon. Kind+intelligent (minus any Quasimodo syndrome going on) trumps tall *****.
 
MerickManual said:
Just my 2cents as a woman I would go for the 5'4" neurosurgeon. Kind+intelligent (minus any Quasimodo syndrome going on) trumps tall *****.
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That may be, but most women would go for the tall guy, at least when they're young. It doesn't even matter if the short guy is kind because it's well known that a significant percentage of the female population goes through the "I'm attracted to dirtbags" phase, which lasts for varying amounts of time.
 
ruralsurg4now said:
When people say stuff like this, my question is simple: so were you always attracting gorgeous, intelligent hotties who were taller than yourself? If you say "yes," then I'll buy that it was you being confident without overtrying or overcompensating. If your answer is "no," then you basically got lucky -- not as an insult, but just meaning that you were fortuitous that you ran into this person and she happened to be attracted to you.
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Sometimes I had hotties, sometimes not. I found the right person when I wasn't looking. If I didn't have confidence, I would not have gotten her, that much is true. my entire point was that thinking about women in such generalities doesn't really work because every woman is different. Some have a height requirement, some don't. If someone's borderline, then confidence is what will win them over if you're somewhat their type.
 
I love it: doctors can't get chicks. It's hilarious. Here are a few tips:

1) Talk to her
2) Be yourself

That's it! It's really that simple. There's lots of fish in the sea--don't think that any one fish is better than others. Just talk to the fish you like/are attracted to. Eventually you will find one who feels the same way!

Now, go get 'em!
-sc
 
shopsteward said:
The OP rates himself a 5/10. He needs to work on that rather than flashing the doctor card. Get fit. Get well-groomed. Get well-dressed. Work on having great posture (it's an instant improvement in appearance and apparent status that most people don't have a clue about). Improve his social skills. As long as he is healthy with good teeth, if he does all that it will bump him way up the physical attractiveness scale to the point where the objective issues (height, facial symmetry, etc.) will start to get overlooked. The women the OP is going after all spend time to look good (porn stars, huh?). A man who spends time to look good will start to be in the same playpen.
Click to expand...

Let's be honest here, that's not happening. If the OP is like 90% of the men in this profession, he lost the battle to be handsome somewhere around the second trimester and realized it was never going to happen about half way through high school. He isn't going to miraculously become a male model by doing a few extra situps now that he is entering middle age and committed to an 80 hour work week. Ditto his interpersonal skills. The potpourri of personality disorders that is an average medical school class is not an inspirational speech away from being witty and charming. To achieve something you need a lot of talent and a lot of effort. If you're 28 with an IQ of 80 and a GED you're probably not going to be a physician: you're way behind the curve and you're not exactly playing to your strengths in the first place. So why do we think that a 28 year old with a sedentary lifestyle and the personality of boiled cabbage is all of a sudden going to become Don Juan?

I salute the OP for a self awareness that's all to rare in this profession. He knows his strengths and weaknesses and is trying to capitalize on the first while minimizing the second. While the 'dating porn stars' part of the plan smells like sadness and alimony to me, the essential premise that intelligent well educated people should emphasize their intelligence and education makes a lot more sense than the idea that the misshapen, shy neurosurgeon should for some reason not mention his profession until the second date.
 
Last edited:
Perrotfish said:
Let's be honest here, that's not happening. If the OP is like 90% of the men in this profession, he lost the battle to be handsome somewhere around the second trimester and realized it was never going to happen about half way through high school. He isn't going to miraculously become a male model by doing a few extra situps now that he is entering middle age and committed to an 80 hour work week. Ditto his interpersonal skills. The potpourri of personality disorders that is an average medical school class is not an inspirational speech away from being witty and charming. To achieve something you need a lot of talent and a lot of effort. If you're 28 with an IQ of 80 and a GED you're probably not going to be a physician: you're way behind the curve and you're not exactly playing to your strengths in the first place. So why do we think that a 28 year old with a sedentary lifestyle and the personality of boiled cabbage is all of a sudden going to become Don Juan?

I salute the OP for a self awareness that's all to rare in this profession. He knows his strengths and weaknesses and is trying to capitalize on the first while minimizing the second. While the 'dating porn stars' part of the plan smells like sadness and alimony to me, the essential premise that intelligent well educated people should emphasize their intelligence and education makes a lot more sense than the idea that the misshapen, shy neurosurgeon should for some reason not mention his profession until the second date.
Click to expand...

LOL at the highlighted above and,

hCC043205


to the entire post.
🙂
 
Rendar5 said:
Sometimes I had hotties, sometimes not. I found the right person when I wasn't looking. If I didn't have confidence, I would not have gotten her, that much is true. my entire point was that thinking about women in such generalities doesn't really work because every woman is different. Some have a height requirement, some don't. If someone's borderline, then confidence is what will win them over if you're somewhat their type.
Click to expand...

I agree with the last sentence, absolutely. But what I don't agree with - and this isn't what you were saying, I gather, but what lots of people do say - is that confidence (or anything else) overcomes anything. People will say "women like tall men" and then the reply is "all you need is confidence and panache!" It's not like confidence and panache are bad things or would in any way hurt you, but people act like suddenly women throw everything they've been attracted to or looking for out the window and go "woah, this guy is attractive, even if he's 4'10"!!" I can see it if she's looking for a guy who is 6 feet tall and you happen to be 5'8". Then your personality may tip the scales. But if you're 5'5", then most of the time you're going to be her confident FRIEND who she likes to hang around.
 
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