How to find the courage for the experience of a retake?

[thewonderer8]

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Hey all,

I'm seeking some guidance and any help at all would be appreciated.

Last summer (summer 2015), I dedicated my time to studying the MCAT. Almost everyday starting in June, I studied from morning to night for a September date. It really was one of the hardest things I had to do in my entire life but I like the material tested on the MCAT so it was gratifying in that sense.

I took 5 practice exams and I never scored as high as I wanted (around 60th percentile) but I constantly hoped this was due to the inaccurate nature of these exams. I took the real exam and I got my score back. I received a score of 57th percentile (502).

I didn't take the news so bad initially as I remained confident that the problem was my test taking ability. I felt like I knew the material but the conditions of test taking during practice exams literally kept destroying me. I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else but during the +7 hours, I would begin to feel the sensation of my clammy skin, of my breath, and lose focus. I tried everything across the practice exams to keep myself engaged but everytime something in the real world caught my attention. It seriously felt like a piece of me died with each practice exam I took.

I'm not applying until June for next year's cycle so I have time for a retake but I am so unsure about what to do. Should I just do practice exam after practice exam ad naseum until my body adjusts into that sort of work ethic? I just feel like during the 5 practice exams I should have improved somewhat but every time I would lose attention and wind up suffering on time. So is the trick to keep doing more and more? Or am I too sensitive for a 7 hour test and there's no alleviating what a horrible experience it is? The pressure doesn't help either.

At this point, I am so deathly afraid of putting in as much time as I did in the summer only to not do well again. My heart literally won't stop beating at the thought. I'm passionate about science and medicine, but this test has become like a monster to me. And it isn't even the test content, it's the nature of it. I just feel so horrible during and after.

I'm sorry for the essay and if this all sounds strange or unanswerable but I would appreciate any words at all. Thank you so much.

 

[impatientcollegestudent]

Well what materials did you use to study for your first time? and how did you utilize them?

 

[Tiffafi]

I actually had a similar experience. I studied every day all last summer and took the test in august but was so nervous and miserable during the test day I ended up voiding. It was so bad I couldn't even finish each section anywhere close to what I should have been able to do. I only took a few practice tests and waited way too late to start taking them, but I know those helped me the most. I took them at the same time the actual test would start with the exact timings for breaks and even put together my lunch and snacks for each test. This might sound silly, but maybe finding the right foods for that day could help. When I'm nervous I don't eat and then I get sick and can't focus. So the last 2 practice tests I took, I put together a variety of stuff (like grapes, carrots, peanut butter) that were easy to force down and it helped me not feel as dead inside later in the test! Sorry if this isn't helpful at all, I'm still figuring out how to handle the same problem as well!

 

[RHCP14]

You have to realize that the MCAT is important in med school admissions not because of content mastery predicting success, but the ability to achieve well on intimidating exams. This is because the MCAT is only the beginning of a long road of serious test taking that accompanies the medical profession.

I took the MCAT in July after studying full time for two months (68th percentile) and am now devising a retake strategy. You need to focus on what's in your control. Control your end of exam anxiety by being prepared and being rational. Study hard on your weaker areas and you will be prepared. When you find your mind slipping on a distraction or a crazy anxiogenic idea be rational and remember your motivation and even think of a happy memory that will ground you and allow you to refocus in the moment.