Hello guys, I really need some advice. I feel like the greatest non-achiever. I have already graduated last spring (3.79 GPA), but since then, I am going on and off about studying. I am planning on taking the test in April 03. My problem is that I am loosing the focus very quickly; have lots of things to take care off. Like some of you have mentioned in the above posts your experience with your parents; well, mine are cluless, I have to take care of all the formalities (selling the house, renting it out, or whatever, then bying one, work with attorneys on other issues). It is just a never ending circle. Despite these responsibilities, I don't have to work, my parents just want me to keep focused on my mcat preparation, but they don't realize they are burning me out. Lately they told me go ahead and work on that business idea that your father got ! NO COMMENTS !!! So, that's my life. I have a great room at my home, a lovely and quit place to study. In spite of this, I feel depressed there. When my parents come home, they just keep dumping all the new ideas on me---and drive me crazy. Plus, I am married, so my mother in law is like a weather. When I was getting close to her, she liked it---of course, I was getting her all the attention and she just kept on going--driving her to all the doctors, and spent time with her at the mall. That's her life. Now, when I tell her I should study, she distances herself from me and often tells me things that hurt me. Such as after her visit in her homeland, she got bunch of ideas about girls to which she compared me. Last time: "My son's uncle wants him to go to visit his country, but he said no women are comming with him." Then, I just got off the couch and said: "Fine. He does not want to see me, I don't want to watch him and his family on your STUPID video." So, guys my parents and his parents drive me to the borders. In the meantime, I was diagnosed with inflammation of the thyroid and I have to take the medication for the rest of my life. Also, my husband is taking his 2nd medical licensing exam next Monday. He was driving me crazy for the last 3 weeks. I don't blame him, but his behavior slowed me down in studying and got me even more depressed. What a great life I am having. I was thinking I will START STUDYING SERIOUSLY TOMMORROW at a new place. It's a private school of languages, where I know most people that work there. After studying on my own, I am planning on taking the Examkrackers course in New York. Guys, I live in Florida. I know it will run me 8-10 grant for 10 weeks (that's the lenght of the EK course and one week extra-waiting for the test date and just take the MCAT in N.Y. at Columbia university.) By the way, that's my LIFE SAVINGS. and all the money I have. Problem is: I am a female and I am afraid to travel and live off the campus. Does some of you know, if I could live on campus? So, that's it. I ventilated. Please give me your feedback about my depression and EK course. Barbara P.S. Please take the following sentense seriously: I NEVER SMILE. So, I force myself to watch Everybody Loves Raymond every night. I am just in such a bad mood and I believe it's the MCAT to blame for !!!! This thing worries me so deeply. When I went to that school of languages, every body there is smilling---these people are either cluless or have really nothing important to do or nothing life threatening or life decisive actions to take. Well, I just opened my eyes wide open and wished I have their simple minds, their jobs and their subtle worries. That's when it occured to me, I don't laugh for a YEAR now, since I walked into the MCAT room unprepared (7,8,8). Since then, I got fearfull about the MCAT, fell it's the greatest burden on my shoulders, and the hardest thing in the world. ! Please help me guys!
Based on your P.S. and the fact that you say you are depressed, I think that you need to see someone for some counseling. I'm worried about you and think you need more help than what you can get from SDN. Please see someone as soon as possible. Perhaps your doctor or someone at the language school can recommend someone. Btw, 8-10 grand for an MCAT prep course is way out of line. Don't even think of spending that much (believe me, you will need it later for your applications and interviews). But please go talk to someone before making any decisions.
I don't claim to have all the answers - or even most of them - but I will tell you this: HANG IN THERE!!! Things are stressful now, but they will get better. I promise. In the meantime, here's two pieces of advice - take them for what they're worth. 1. Don't stress too much about the MCAT. I took the test in April of this year, and I honestly think that you can study TOO much for it. If you get burned out early, you won't be sharp on test day. The MCAT is more of a thinking test than a knowledge test. True, you have to have a certain amount of factual knowledge to reason through some of the questions, but remember that what they are really trying to test is your capacity to reason. You need a clear head and a nimble mind on test day more than anything else. In retrospect, I unintentionally did a pretty good job of pacing my studying, starting off slowly and building up to the week before the test. Some of my friends got burned out early, and it showed in their scores. Just something to think about. 2. You may want to think about seeing a counselor of some type. You're obviously a very talented person in a number of areas, but you've got a lot on your shoulders right now. It's not normal to feel so sad all the time. Think about it, at least. You deserve to feel better! Best of luck!!!
hi there I was feeling a bit like you today, but I'm feeling much much better now. Let me tell you that you HAVE to find your escape out of this. Prayers. Meditation. Running. Journaling. Reading. Whatever it takes, you need some "alone time" to yourself everyday because it seems like you really need it. Secondly, you can vent on SDN any time you want, and i know it will help you..BUT, it seems like you could use some extra counseling help. There's nothing wrong with it; so don't feel afraid to reach out in person. Also, why are you still living at home if you're married??? Perhaps I read you wrong. You have yet to mention anything about your hubby. Does he support you? You need good friends/partners in life to get through this process, trust me. So first thing tomorrow--go to your school counseling office and try to get yourself a professional to speak with. Good luck and keep us updated!!
