How to know if your socially awkward/ challenged

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JSTAR04

JSTAR04

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Ok guys we all know about that certain post that keeps getting flamed. So I am just asking how would you define a socially awkward person
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They don't know what to say in a conversation and thus can't hold a conversation. This is very different from just not being interested in a conversation. I'm not always interested in conversations that people try to engage in put I still respond in a non-weird way just so that I don't offend the person or make things weird. Even when I'm not interested in the person because they have come off as someone that I wouldn't really like to know, very unusual cases, I'll still say something but make it known that I'm really not interested through my behavior. They usually interpret me as being socially inept, but the fact is that I just don't want to know them. 🙂 If you want to know if someone is socially handicap, just start talking about non-academic/work stuff. If nothing comes out they're most likely socially handicap.
 
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Anyone that has to think too much to try to keep a conversation going. It should come more naturally
 
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woah i think alot in some of my conversations when they get boring...maybe im socially inept or whatever keep this thread going i need to know more
 
eh, if you have to ask then you pretty much are.
 
JSTAR04 said:
woah i think alot in some of my conversations when they get boring...maybe im socially inept or whatever keep this thread going i need to know more
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lol well I don't mean when the conversation gets boring. I mean if you're talking to one or more people, and the conversation should be pretty easy-going yet you still cant think of something to say. Like you need to try too hard to "say the right thing"
 
UpperEastSide said:
eh, if you have to ask then you pretty much are.
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i set myself up for that one...i knew that was going to come but i thought someone would say it like this..." i think someone is socially awkward/challenged when they make threads about being socially awkward"
 
panasonic52 said:
lol well I don't mean when the conversation gets boring. I mean if you're talking to one or more people, and the conversation should be pretty easy-going yet you still cant think of something to say. Like you need to try too hard to "say the right thing"
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oh ok i dodged a bullet there
 
JSTAR04 said:
oh ok i dodged a bullet there
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I think you're probably being too paranoid about this lol...could you go to a party/meeting/other social event with people you know vaguely (names at least) and engage in normal conversation? How are they doing, how's that one class you have, how was their winter break, etc... If so, then you're not socially awkward or challenged lol.
 
Recognizing your own awkwardness is probably a sign of being self-aware and, typically, not of being awkward. If people seem to avoid you or keep conversations very short with you, that may indicate some social awkwardness. Your best clues would be in how others respond to you.
 
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if there's an awkward pause on their end...then you're awkward...
if you're the person to go to some outing with a drink and just be alone the whole time, then you're challenged...

this is without turning the politics game on....that's a whole different story.
 
Danlee07 said:
if there's an awkward pause on their end...then you're awkward...
if you're the person to go to some outing with a drink and just be alone the whole time, then you're challenged...

this is without turning the politics game on....that's a whole different story.
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Silence isn't always awkward. It really bothers me when someone needs every single friggin second to be filled with something, especially when they try so hard to fill it with something that they fill it with jibberish. I'd rather hear silence and then something that I can actually repsond to then some jibberish whatever.

As far as doing something alone, I feel sorry for people that always have to have a baby sitter by their side. Perhaps it's a sign of insecurity? Maybe it's not? I don't know and really don't care. I just know that doing something by myself is really great. You follow your own plan and do things on your own time. It's not as unusual as you might think. I live in a beach city and every weekday during the spring and summer, the beach is filled with people that are solo. It's either the solo surfer, solo female sunbather, solo guy just chillin, solo middle aged guy who has the day off, or solo female walkin up and down the beach. I'd say they make up about 70% of people on the beach during the weekday. It may not be for everyone, I've come across people who would not do anything in public alone, but it certainly isn't always a sign of loneliness/social awkwardness.
 
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ILikeDrugs said:
Silence isn't always awkward. It really bothers me when someone needs every single friggin second to be fill with something, especially when they are try so hard to fill it with something that they fill it with jibberish. I'd rather hear silence and then something that I can actually repsond to then some jibberish whatever.

As far as doing something alone, I feel sorry for people that always have to have a baby sitter by their side. Perhaps it's a sign of insecurity? Maybe it's not? I don't know and really don't care. I just know that doing something by myself is really great. You follow your own plan and do things on your own time. It's not as unusual as you might think. I live in a beach city and every weekday during the spring and summer, the beach is filled with people that are solo. It's either the solo surfer, solo female sunbather, solo guy just chillin, solo middle aged guy who has the day off, or solo female walkin up and down the beach. I'd say they make up about 70% of people on the beach during the weekday. It may not be for everyone, I've come across people who would not do anything in public alone, but it certainly isn't always a sign of loneliness/social awkwardness.
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I agree with you're saying; however, my interpretation of his point was that the person who sits off at his own booth/is a loaner/doesn't engage socially/isn't socially engaged by others at a social engagement is often awkward. This is probably true some of the time. Then again, sometimes we all need a moment away to recharge (esp. if something about the situation is stressful such as the arrival of a recent ex on the scene). I think it's a very circumstantial kind of thing. The people who are truly socially awkward are obvious to everyone else. If people repeatedly avoid doing things with you, always seem to find excuses to not go on trips with you, don't return your calls, etc., those are probably all good clues that something may not be "right." However, no one with a conscience and/or some social skills is likely to tell you to your face that you're socially awkward.
 
Thanks for the responses guys, i guess im just self aware or paranoid but keep this thread going. Now this is just for my own personal use i want to hear your thoughts.
 
If you can't lock eye contact for 5 minutes in a conversation with someone --> socially awkward
 
Perimeter said:
If you can't lock eye contact for 5 minutes in a conversation with someone --> socially awkward
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no that gets really weird when you try and lock eyes for five minutes. Have you ever tried locking eyes with someone with 5 minutes? That can get pretty damn awkward. You're supposed to look at their eyes and move to lips, nose, other things once in a while. Guys do not STARE at the person for 5 minutes straight thats the easiest way to make sure a girl never talks to you again. It's just creepy.
 
It's all practice. People who have never interacted with others with varying personalities (from their immediate families) have a hard time dealing in such situations. If all you've done was study for the last 16 years of your life with sparse social interactions then that's all you'll know.


To be perfectly honest, I think I'd rather have a socially inept physician than a "bro-diatrist" who only helps me feel like s/he understands what I'm feeling.
 
VikingLegacy said:
The definition of a socially awkard person is anybody who needs awkwardness defined in concrete terms because he doesn't intuitively know what it looks or sounds like.
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Exactly. This does not only apply to social awkwardness, but to a lot of other things aswell.
 
i'm not meaning to fill every second with a word. you feel that awkward cringe when it's an awkward silence. there are good silences as well, but if you're socially awkward you won't know that it's there.

as to the other comment, i was meaning that if you're that person that gives off the creep vibe, guy or girl. the lone wolf strategy works well, but if you're socially fine, you have that trigger that tells you when it's awkward.
 
n3xa said:
http://seriouslulz.com/archives/socially-awkward-penguin/




/thread
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:laugh::laugh:

I especially love
2d9r8uv-300x300.jpg
 
JSTAR04 said:
Ok guys we all know about that certain post that keeps getting flamed. So I am just asking how would you define a socially awkward person
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Someone that relies on an internet board to find out ?
 
JSTAR04, you should check your school's counseling service. There might be a group session that could help you out.
 
if you're on sdn 24/7 that makes you socially awkward no?
 
ILikeDrugs said:
Silence isn't always awkward. It really bothers me when someone needs every single friggin second to be filled with something, especially when they try so hard to fill it with something that they fill it with jibberish. I'd rather hear silence and then something that I can actually repsond to then some jibberish whatever.

As far as doing something alone, I feel sorry for people that always have to have a baby sitter by their side. Perhaps it's a sign of insecurity? Maybe it's not? I don't know and really don't care. I just know that doing something by myself is really great. You follow your own plan and do things on your own time. It's not as unusual as you might think. I live in a beach city and every weekday during the spring and summer, the beach is filled with people that are solo. It's either the solo surfer, solo female sunbather, solo guy just chillin, solo middle aged guy who has the day off, or solo female walkin up and down the beach. I'd say they make up about 70% of people on the beach during the weekday. It may not be for everyone, I've come across people who would not do anything in public alone, but it certainly isn't always a sign of loneliness/social awkwardness.
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YEEEESSSSS!!! I can't stand this. It's actually OK to sit in silence people. We're not going to get lonely or forget you're there.

n3xa said:
http://seriouslulz.com/archives/socially-awkward-penguin/




/thread
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That was hilarious :laugh:
 
I think I'm more "shy" than socially awkward.

And not having good looks means people may not wanna be friends with you, so I feel like I can gain confidence, but if people think I'm uggo/not ripped, I won't be seen as a friend.

So two strikes 😱
 
KnuxNole said:
I think I'm more "shy" than socially awkward.

And not having good looks means people may not wanna be friends with you, so I feel like I can gain confidence, but if people think I'm uggo/not ripped, I won't be seen as a friend.

So two strikes 😱
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i know what you mean
 
Realistically, ask a professor who knows you reasonably well if you would be perceived as socially awkward in a med school interview. They'll probably be pretty honest.
 
TheProwler said:
Realistically, ask a professor who knows you reasonably well if you would be perceived as socially awkward in a med school interview. They'll probably be pretty honest.
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What if you ask a socially awkward professor?
 
panasonic52 said:
lol well I don't mean when the conversation gets boring. I mean if you're talking to one or more people, and the conversation should be pretty easy-going yet you still cant think of something to say. Like you need to try too hard to "say the right thing"
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That's the thing I never got...what IS the right thing to say? Random facts?
 
You get really excited when you finally get a text. It's the phone company letting you know that your bill is due.

It's the first day of class with 10 minutes to start. You're the first and only one in the auditorium and take a seat. A girl comes in and takes the seat right next to you. You sit there wondering why she took that seat when there's 100 hundred seats to choose from.

You're sitting on your couch tonight for NYE. A girl gives you a kiss on the cheek at the strike of midnight. It's your mom.
 
ILikeDrugs said:
You get really excited when you finally get a text. It's the phone company letting you know that your bill is due.

It's the first day of class with 10 minutes to start. You're the first and only one in the auditorium and take a seat. A girl comes in and takes the seat right next to you. You sit there wondering why she took that seat when there's 100 hundred seats to choose from.

You're sitting on your couch tonight for NYE. A girl gives you a kiss on the cheek at the strike of midnight. It's your mom.
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LMAO keep them comming guys
 
BJJ said:
no that gets really weird when you try and lock eyes for five minutes. Have you ever tried locking eyes with someone with 5 minutes? That can get pretty damn awkward. You're supposed to look at their eyes and move to lips, nose, other things once in a while. Guys do not STARE at the person for 5 minutes straight thats the easiest way to make sure a girl never talks to you again. It's just creepy.
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Come on I didn't mean it literally stare just most of the time active eye contact during a conversation. That would be weird though to never look away haha.
 
JSTAR04 said:
Ok guys we all know about that certain post that keeps getting flamed. So I am just asking how would you define a socially awkward person
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I think this is a fair question.

1. Is your first instinct in a conversation to talk about yourself? How often do you say "I" "me" "my" as opposed to "you"? Socially smart people will ask you "How was your winter break?" "Do anything fun this weekend?" "Got any plans for Christmas?" "You still working at [wherever]?"

Socially awkward people will start every conversation by talking about themselves, and clue in too late to the fact that they haven't asked the other person questions.

2. Do you not talk at all? It's normal to smile and make quick small talk with people just for the hell of it. The key is to make it clear that you're not ambushing them with an in-depth conversation. Just be friendly. ("Do you have to work all night tonight?" "Nah, I get off at 11." "That's good, so you can still do New Years." "Yep, it's nice." "Have a good one.")

3. Can you read body language and notice when someone else is uncomfortable? I promise, if you're not sure about this one, just ask a close friend or (better yet) a close relative. It's pretty much the most important thing ever, so if you're bad at it, they will know - and they will tell you.

#3 is the most important, probably. If you can tell when you've made somebody uncomfortable, or when somebody doesn't want to talk, or when someone is open to a conversation but too shy to initiate it - then that can make up for a lot of social uncertainty. If you can't read body language, you'll be socially awkward.
 
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