How to know if your socially awkward/ challenged

[JSTAR04]

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I think this is a fair question.

1. Is your first instinct in a conversation to talk about yourself? How often do you say "I" "me" "my" as opposed to "you"? Socially smart people will ask you "How was your winter break?" "Do anything fun this weekend?" "Got any plans for Christmas?" "You still working at [wherever]?"

Socially awkward people will start every conversation by talking about themselves, and clue in too late to the fact that they haven't asked the other person questions.

2. Do you not talk at all? It's normal to smile and make quick small talk with people just for the hell of it. The key is to make it clear that you're not ambushing them with an in-depth conversation. Just be friendly. ("Do you have to work all night tonight?" "Nah, I get off at 11." "That's good, so you can still do New Years." "Yep, it's nice." "Have a good one.")

3. Can you read body language and notice when someone else is uncomfortable? I promise, if you're not sure about this one, just ask a close friend or (better yet) a close relative. It's pretty much the most important thing ever, so if you're bad at it, they will know - and they will tell you.

#3 is the most important, probably. If you can tell when you've made somebody uncomfortable, or when somebody doesn't want to talk, or when someone is open to a conversation but too shy to initiate it - then that can make up for a lot of social uncertainty. If you can't read body language, you'll be socially awkward.

And the best response goes to

 

[rxlea]

Recognizing your own awkwardness is probably a sign of being self-aware and, typically, not of being awkward. If people seem to avoid you or keep conversations very short with you, that may indicate some social awkwardness. Your best clues would be in how others respond to you.

Or it could mean they just don't like you. 😉

I am a big fan of the "comfortable silence". When I was dating (back in the day), I always knew the serious from the casual/"not working out" date by how comfortable the silence was. I would argue that someone who is "socially awkward" is just someone who doesn't know when to say things or what the appropriate response is, as some previous posters have pointed out. I have found that many socially awkward people tend to be very worried about what others are thinking or feeling about them. Once they stop worrying so much, the flow becomes much more natural. Then there are those who are just completely inappropriate for whatever reason. I would classify that under "socially inept" or if it is really bad or offensive then it falls under "*******".

 

[Narmerguy]

You get really excited when you finally get a text. It's the phone company letting you know that your bill is due.

It's the first day of class with 10 minutes to start. You're the first and only one in the auditorium and take a seat. A girl comes in and takes the seat right next to you. You sit there wondering why she took that seat when there's 100 hundred seats to choose from.

You're sitting on your couch tonight for NYE. A girl gives you a kiss on the cheek at the strike of midnight. It's your mom.

The girl across the hall you've never seen before waves at you with a smile so you wave back. So does her friend right behind you.

 

[JSTAR04]

oh damn i think that has happened to me once

 

[ILikeDrugs]

You have birthday party pictures that look like this:

If your last birthday looked like any of any of the above: 🙁.

 

[NickNaylor]

If your last birthday looked like any of any of the above: 🙁.

I actually lol'd.

 

[jvesco22]

You get really excited when you finally get a text. It's the phone company letting you know that your bill is due.

It's the first day of class with 10 minutes to start. You're the first and only one in the auditorium and take a seat. A girl comes in and takes the seat right next to you. You sit there wondering why she took that seat when there's 100 hundred seats to choose from.

You're sitting on your couch tonight for NYE. A girl gives you a kiss on the cheek at the strike of midnight. It's your mom.

Lmao. 👍👍