How to look older/mature?

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chromaticscale

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I'm one of the lucky people to be born with the short and young-looking genes. Patients have said I look like I'm in high school multiple times (Doogie Howser!). 🙄 What are some tips you have to look older and more mature? Open to advice for both men and women as everyone can listen and chip in.
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If you’re male, growing a beard helps. As long as it’s professional.

I don’t want to start a debate as people get opinionated about the white coat and whether it signifies being a physician, but young-appearing males/females should consider it as most patients do actually prefer their physicians dress professionally and in a white coat. It’ll help you get that extra bonus point with your first impression (when you’re already losing two points for your apparent age).

If you don’t like the coat, definitely dress professional. No scrubs unless you’re in the OR. The last thing you want to do is look like Doogie in pajamas.
 
chromaticscale said:
I'm one of the lucky people to be born with the short and young-looking genes. Patients have said I look like I'm in high school multiple times (Doogie Howser!). 🙄 What are some tips you have to look older and more mature? Open to advice for both men and women as everyone can listen and chip in.
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Have children. That does the trick.
 
Merely said:
Grow beard
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270320
 
RangerBob said:
If you’re male, growing a beard helps. As long as it’s professional.

I don’t want to start a debate as people get opinionated about the white coat and whether it signifies being a physician, but young-appearing males/females should consider it as most patients do actually prefer their physicians dress professionally and in a white coat. It’ll help you get that extra bonus point with your first impression (when you’re already losing two points for your apparent age).

If you don’t like the coat, definitely dress professional. No scrubs unless you’re in the OR. The last thing you want to do is look like Doogie in pajamas.
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Generally we wear scrubs with the white coat. Scrubs are so comfy! 😢
 
My roommate had that problem.

He grew a mustache and stopped wearing contacts. He got an "old" style of glasses frames to wear. He felt the glasses made him look "smarter" too.
 
I’m 32 and my patients still tell me daily that I look like I’m in high school. My usual answer is “I think I must look younger than I am” and then I just start talking to them about their health. Usually the speculation about my age ends there, and we just proceed with their visit.

I definitely agree with previous advice about dressing and grooming yourself professionally, but to be honest, I don’t think our appearances are the problem. A lot of people just don’t have a good concept of what young professionals in their 20s and 30s look like. You don’t need to make yourself look older. You probably look appropriate for your age. Carry yourself with confidence and give good medical care, and your patients will stop questioning your age
 
Carlin said:
I’m 32 and my patients still tell me daily that I look like I’m in high school. My usual answer is “I think I must look younger than I am” and then I just start talking to them about their health. Usually the speculation about my age ends there, and we just proceed with their visit.

I definitely agree with previous advice about dressing and grooming yourself professionally, but to be honest, I don’t think our appearances are the problem. A lot of people just don’t have a good concept of what young professionals in their 20s and 30s look like. You don’t need to make yourself look older. You probably look appropriate for your age. Carry yourself with confidence and give good medical care, and your patients will stop questioning your age
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I’m 39 and I’ve often been asked if I’m my husband’s daughter instead of his wife (he doesn’t find this nearly as amusing as I do). My plan is to continue coloring my hair while in Med school, but stop in residency to achieve the more mature look to soothe patients’ nerves. 😛
 
Saddleshoes said:
My roommate had that problem.

He grew a mustache and stopped wearing contacts. He got an "old" style of glasses frames to wear. He felt the glasses made him look "smarter" too.
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Growing a moustache is something that police officers also do, to help make them look older (or, "not like a kid").
 
Saddleshoes said:
My roommate had that problem.

He grew a mustache and stopped wearing contacts. He got an "old" style of glasses frames to wear. He felt the glasses made him look "smarter" too.
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I wore glasses one night during an ED shift and all the patients did call me doctor upon seeing me walk into their rooms. 👍
 
Gastrapathy said:
You’ll feel worse when you notice this has stopped
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Yeah, I know my mom keeps saying "well when you're old, you're gonna want to look young." 🙄
But for now, I want others to take me seriously. I'm still keeping my skin nice and avoiding the sun to not look all wrinkly.
 
chromaticscale said:
Yeah, I know my mom keeps saying "well when you're old, you're gonna want to look young." 🙄
But for now, I want others to take me seriously. I'm still keeping my skin nice and avoiding the sun to not look all wrinkly.
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I'm almost 50, and clean shaven. People ask me ALL THE TIME how many kids I have, or, how many I am going to have.

I, likewise, have avoided the sun, including when I practiced in Hawai'i. Now, THAT was a "big deal".
 
chromaticscale said:
I'm one of the lucky people to be born with the short and young-looking genes. Patients have said I look like I'm in high school multiple times (Doogie Howser!). 🙄 What are some tips you have to look older and more mature? Open to advice for both men and women as everyone can listen and chip in.
Click to expand...
I got this a lot, and still do to a certain extent. When I started fellowship I decided I just couldn't be bothered to put contacts in in the morning anymore. I do think those help.

That said, honestly the biggest thing is just becoming more comfortable in your role as a doctor. Nowadays when I get the comment I laugh it off, say "I get that all the time," and just launch right back into the medical conversation. Once your patients realize you know what you're talking about, they'll trust you regardless of what you look like.
 
Assuming OP is a female (and the facial hair trick won't work),

Wear your white coat at all times. Have your name and MD embroidered on it or prominently display your ID.
Introduce yourself to all patients as 'Dr. So-and-so', not 'Mary, the intern' (just an example).
Wear glasses, not contacts.
Consider changing up your make-up style - if you're a heavy make up person, lighten off. If you're a light make-up person, sometimes more makeup can make one seem older.

I started facial hair (well-trimmed beard) during MS3 when I was confused for a high-school volunteer. Now I maintain primarily out of laziness to shave every day as I definitely look way older 5ish years later.
 
chromaticscale said:
I'm one of the lucky people to be born with the short and young-looking genes. Patients have said I look like I'm in high school multiple times (Doogie Howser!). 🙄 What are some tips you have to look older and more mature? Open to advice for both men and women as everyone can listen and chip in.
Click to expand...

Just enjoy it man... I'm mid forties with way too much silver for my age and miss those days. Patients will always initially judge your competence on how young you look (as if older always = better). Just smile, divert the conversation back to business and your confidence and command of the physician-pt interaction along with decisive answers and judgement will quickly make them realize they are dealing with someone competent, regardless of how young you look. After practicing long enough you'll truly stop caring and then, later on, you'll miss all the comments about "You don't look old enough to be a doctor young man!". Enjoy that baby face! It ain't gonna last forever.
 
I wore a white coat, although I'd still get comments on looking young. Bear in mind that after a few years, the comments on how young you look become fewer and fewer!
Women usually look older with their hair pulled back, so that's another idea. Avoid headbands and barrettes. Keep jewelry simple and classic.
I've been told I look older wearing scrubs than when in professional dress, FWIW. I think it may be more that people look more "official" in scrubs.
 
I get this a lot...have always been mistaken for younger than stated age. Im taking it as a compliment though, would rather look young than old but i do get the concern—in medicine patients want you to look like you have “experience” and associate this with age (among other things).
I DO wear a really nice white coat (not the cheap lab coat-types that look like they come from Wal-Mart but a well made, monogrammed one) in clinic. I keep jewelry simple, RARELY wear nail polish (if i do its very neutral colors—i feel its unprofessional to have on neon green or bedazzled nail polish as a physician—just one of my idiosyncratic preferences). Throw on my glasses some days for bonus points. I wear “designer” scrubs—fit my petite frame much better and add to an overall refined look. The hospital scrubs tend to make me look “frumpty-dumpty” and I HATE not looking put together; a sloppy appearance will make u look less “doctorly” IMHO...
 
If you are female, get your white coat tailored. In fact, make sure all your clothes are tailored. Updo helps as well. A wedding ring helps a lot too.
 
chromaticscale said:
I'm one of the lucky people to be born with the short and young-looking genes. Patients have said I look like I'm in high school multiple times (Doogie Howser!). 🙄 What are some tips you have to look older and more mature? Open to advice for both men and women as everyone can listen and chip in.
Click to expand...

Meh, I get this all the type - I'm a woman, short, thin, and most people think I'm in my 20's. I wear make up, heels/pumps, but still. I still don't look like the "typical" male doctor so it is what it is. Yesterday one random patient family members walks is in the hallway needing help for his SO and says excuse me can someone help my SO (the patient) with this? I'm like well the nurse can assist you with that. Dude is like, aren't you the nurse in a snippy tone. I said, umm no I am the physician. Then crickets occurred. Ha! Happens all the time. And bc many patients are older except for a few fields in medicine, they think a lot of people under 50 is "too young."
 
Piebaldi said:
Meh, I get this all the type - I'm a woman, short, thin, and most people think I'm in my 20's. I wear make up, heels/pumps, but still. I still don't look like the "typical" male doctor so it is what it is. Yesterday one random patient family members walks is in the hallway needing help for his SO and says excuse me can someone help my SO (the patient) with this? I'm like well the nurse can assist you with that. Dude is like, aren't you the nurse in a snippy tone. I said, umm no I am the physician. Then crickets occurred. Ha! Happens all the time. And bc many patients are older except for a few fields in medicine, they think a lot of people under 50 is "too young."
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Was it not something you could have helped with?

Impressive humblebrag though
 
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Keona said:
I’m female. I’m an attending now and still got the you’re too young to be a doctor bit. I told one of my patients I had two kids. Her response “ that doesn’t mean anything you could’ve had two kids by 16....
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Smh...some patients

The other day when I said I was gonna look into something, the patient's daughter said "oh thank you honey" as if I was a child
 
Sephirakra said:
Well, I tried.

And I'm still envious of those of you who have hair up top.
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chromaticscale said:
Smh...some patients

The other day when I said I was gonna look into something, the patient's daughter said "oh thank you honey" as if I was a child
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I get the "honey" comment all the time. A patient's friend called me a "little girl" - that needless to say frustrated me quite a bit but i maintained my professionalism.
 
Piebaldi said:
I get the "honey" comment all the time. A patient's friend called me a "little girl" - that needless to say frustrated me quite a bit but i maintained my professionalism.
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I feel your pain. During med school, some patients said I look like I'm in middle school. It's pretty rude to call someone a little girl. People need to be reminded that young doctors are practicing (fresh out of med school, duh) and should ask what the person's role is instead of relying on first impressions #shame
 
chromaticscale said:
I feel your pain. During med school, some patients said I look like I'm in middle school. It's pretty rude to call someone a little girl. People need to be reminded that young doctors are practicing (fresh out of med school, duh) and should ask what the person's role is instead of relying on first impressions #shame
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I'm an attending, but do look much younger than I am. And it does not help that I'm 5 feet tall.
 
As long as you're not dressing like a child I think the main way to avoid these comments is portraying confidence. Confidence/self-assuredness gives the impression of experience - as long as you don't come off as a floating ego.
I was a baby-face intern and got these comments quite a bit back when I started. I found the best way to put a patient at ease and make them think you are very good at what you do/that they are in fantastic health was to do two simple things when entering the patient's room for the first time that day:
- A polite, but bored expression. Broken by a relaxed smile when you make eye contact with people in the room.
- Appearing so completely unrushed that it could even be described as "slow" when entering/leaving a patient's room.

First impression = you've seen some **** and this is kindergarten **** for you. Then you can be as nice and chatty and cheerful and interested in them as possible; and their impression is going to be "wow this doctor still has that excellent bedside manner after whatever horrors occurred in their past." You'll still get letters of thanks and chocolates, etc. They won't think you're a jerk.
 
Beard with some grey.

I'm 40 and bearded but still get the age comment from new patients on occasion. I used to let it bug me but now I just have fun with it.

I'll thank them and tell them that I'm only 24. This will usually spawn a follow-up question of "how long have you been doing this?" When my next reply is "if they can keep a secret, I had a guy print me up a license... wink, wink, nod, nod." Just as their eyes are about to explode, I let them know that I've been out of residency 7 years and am actually 40. Not only that, but this is my second career. They normally have a pretty good laugh and are able to ease some of their anxiety.

The older patient is typically very anxious about seeing anyone who isn't the Dr. Recently Retired they've known their whole life. The "aren't you young?" comment really is just a reflection of that.
 
OrthoTraumaMD said:
I get “honey” all the time too. So much so that now I’ve inadvertently started calling patients “hon,” it just slips out — it’s contagious!
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You are a dude though? Particularly older women tend to do the "honey" with male docs that are youngish.
 
For some people there isn't much you can do to look older. I am one of those. I still get the are you old enough to be a doctor question or a variant pretty often. Best you can do is figure out a response that you can deliver with confidence and addresses their main concern (are you going to take good care of me). Mine is a little different now that I have been in my field for 13 yrs (including residency but hey it all counts) versus when I was in school or residency. If you approach it as them just being afraid rather than being rude (which some of them are objectively such as when they ask for my age but they don't necessarily mean to be rude) then it won't make you as defensive or annoyed. There is even a bit of compliment to it (because they think you look good for your age) which I choose to view it as. Respond with your preferred line then focus back on how you are going to help them.
 
rokshana said:
Was it not something you could have helped with?

Impressive humblebrag though
Click to expand...
I don't get bent out of shape if some random family member or patient asks me for help. Maybe they are only asking because female equals nurse to them, or maybe they don't know what the hell I might be but they just need help. If I am not rushing off to somewhere else, or otherwise busy and I can accomplish the task they need help with, I don't see myself as too good to do it. I have earned the respect and gratitude of a number of ancillary staff members for simple stuff like grabbing someone a blanket or a urinal. Have also emptied ostomy bags and helped people onto bedpans but I can understand if people without experience doing that defer to others.
 
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