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- Jun 25, 2008
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Just wondering if anyone can give me some advice because I'm feeling kind of down about things right now. I'm an M3 almost halfway done with my clerkships. I came into medical school thinking that I'd do medicine, but so far it's been the rotation that I have hated the most. I'd actually rather not be a physician at all than go into medicine (sorry in advance to those of you who are in medicine and love it 😳 ) It doesn't help that all of the students rotating with me love medicine like crazy and want to do it. It also isn't related to the rotation itself, because my team is awesome. My attending is super nice, my intern spends a lot of time teaching me and helping prepare me so that I will look good on rounds, and in general everyone else in the whole department is just as nice as can be. Even residents on other teams have taken time to teach me things if they have an interesting patient or they're teaching their own students. But I still hate everything about it except actually seeing patients. I hate going on rounds for hours and hours with the team every day. I hate all the call we have to take and I'm sure that being super tired all the time has a lot to do with why I'm so miserable. I really hate doing the scut work, but I do it because my intern is super nice and I want to help him in return, and plus it's my job to help.
Maybe you're thinking, well, do something else instead if you hate medicine so much. But the problem is, I haven't wanted to do ANY of the specialties I've rotated in so far. They all have their positives and negatives, and it's not that I've hated all of them. But I can't see myself spending the next forty years of my life doing any of them. None of them really excite me all that much. I know that I still have half the rotations to go and maybe I'll just miraculously love something eventually, but I'm starting to think that I probably shouldn't do a residency at all. There's not anything I've done that I think I could do for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm just trying to endure it all and I always feel like I can't wait for every rotation to be over.
If it helps, these are things that I do like about my rotations. I like working with patients. That's about the only thing that has made my medicine rotation bearable (besides that the team is super nice and I really am learning a lot). So no rads or path or anything like that for sure. I like being active and doing things. Even though surgery was longer hours and I'd never want to live that lifestyle, I still liked it better than medicine because at least the time went by fast and I was always so busy. And if I wasn't busy I was so tired that I'd fall asleep the second I stopped moving. I like spending time with patients and getting to know them. I don't really see myself doing something like EM for that reason, although I haven't done that rotation yet so who knows. But I also don't think I'd like family medicine as a career because you're always so rushed. Every slot is 15 minutes and you see a couple dozen patients every day. I felt kind of stressed even though that is supposed to be an easier rotation, and it really wasn't fun because of that.
Do you think there is anything that might be a good fit? Or maybe I should look for something outside of clinical practice? I have done some research and didn't hate it, but again, I am not really enthusiastic about spending my whole life doing research either. I know a lot of people have problems picking between more than one specialty they love. What should someone do if they're not passionate about anything? 🙁
Maybe you're thinking, well, do something else instead if you hate medicine so much. But the problem is, I haven't wanted to do ANY of the specialties I've rotated in so far. They all have their positives and negatives, and it's not that I've hated all of them. But I can't see myself spending the next forty years of my life doing any of them. None of them really excite me all that much. I know that I still have half the rotations to go and maybe I'll just miraculously love something eventually, but I'm starting to think that I probably shouldn't do a residency at all. There's not anything I've done that I think I could do for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm just trying to endure it all and I always feel like I can't wait for every rotation to be over.
If it helps, these are things that I do like about my rotations. I like working with patients. That's about the only thing that has made my medicine rotation bearable (besides that the team is super nice and I really am learning a lot). So no rads or path or anything like that for sure. I like being active and doing things. Even though surgery was longer hours and I'd never want to live that lifestyle, I still liked it better than medicine because at least the time went by fast and I was always so busy. And if I wasn't busy I was so tired that I'd fall asleep the second I stopped moving. I like spending time with patients and getting to know them. I don't really see myself doing something like EM for that reason, although I haven't done that rotation yet so who knows. But I also don't think I'd like family medicine as a career because you're always so rushed. Every slot is 15 minutes and you see a couple dozen patients every day. I felt kind of stressed even though that is supposed to be an easier rotation, and it really wasn't fun because of that.
Do you think there is anything that might be a good fit? Or maybe I should look for something outside of clinical practice? I have done some research and didn't hate it, but again, I am not really enthusiastic about spending my whole life doing research either. I know a lot of people have problems picking between more than one specialty they love. What should someone do if they're not passionate about anything? 🙁