Looking for advice on making myself a decent candidate after absolutely failing my education previously due to extreme mental health issues.
To share an abbreviated version of my long and hard backstory, I grew up with hella homophobic parents who sent me to a religious school to try and “fix” me. I then promptly ****ed off to an out of state college and got a biology degree with a 2.8 gpa. I really struggled to study and succeed because I really had never had anyone tell me I had any potential so I didn’t believe it so i didn’t try.
Even worse, I graduated and realized I had absolutely no plans (because I had been lowkey suicidal the entire four years and hadn’t wasted much time envisioning my future) so upon graduation I freaked out and applied to an online MPH program, fed deeper into depression and completely stopped doing my work and completely failed the semester because I had no intention of ever returning to education and didn’t think it mattered (or that *I* mattered, tbh). I was alone in a state, newly not speaking to my parents or family, and scared, please don’t judge me too harshly.
Then I naturally had a total breakdown after that semester, started taking my mental health seriously and trying to heal from my childhood trauma in therapy, saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with level 1 autism (which made my entire life until this point make SO much more sense), and started to actually feel joy and passion for the first time in years.
Enrolled in an EMT class and loved it. Have been working there for about a year. Enrolled in a paramedic program and currently loving it even more. I am making good grades (4.0) and I feel like i’m rediscovering my childhood self who loved science, learning, and the human body before she was beaten down. I’m learning again that I love learning, and crucially, I’m capable of learning and of succeeding, something I didn’t realize I didn’t believe about myself until now.
Obviously, of course, I’m a long shot. I know I’m not applying in the next cycle or two because why waste my money. BUT, does anyone have any advice or tips on how to move forward from here? I’m aware it’ll be a years long (or even lifelong) process, but I’m willing to put in the work and I do think I’m capable, I just have to prove it on paper. Is the grad school thing ever overcomable or am I just ****ed? Should I retake classes from undergrad that I maybe didn’t ace to make myself look better?
I understand it’ll take way more than grades, but I feel like at least the clinical stuff/mcat stuff/volunteering I can navigate on my own. This, I’m just not sure where to start.
Please be honest with me as kindly as possible lol.
To share an abbreviated version of my long and hard backstory, I grew up with hella homophobic parents who sent me to a religious school to try and “fix” me. I then promptly ****ed off to an out of state college and got a biology degree with a 2.8 gpa. I really struggled to study and succeed because I really had never had anyone tell me I had any potential so I didn’t believe it so i didn’t try.
Even worse, I graduated and realized I had absolutely no plans (because I had been lowkey suicidal the entire four years and hadn’t wasted much time envisioning my future) so upon graduation I freaked out and applied to an online MPH program, fed deeper into depression and completely stopped doing my work and completely failed the semester because I had no intention of ever returning to education and didn’t think it mattered (or that *I* mattered, tbh). I was alone in a state, newly not speaking to my parents or family, and scared, please don’t judge me too harshly.
Then I naturally had a total breakdown after that semester, started taking my mental health seriously and trying to heal from my childhood trauma in therapy, saw a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with level 1 autism (which made my entire life until this point make SO much more sense), and started to actually feel joy and passion for the first time in years.
Enrolled in an EMT class and loved it. Have been working there for about a year. Enrolled in a paramedic program and currently loving it even more. I am making good grades (4.0) and I feel like i’m rediscovering my childhood self who loved science, learning, and the human body before she was beaten down. I’m learning again that I love learning, and crucially, I’m capable of learning and of succeeding, something I didn’t realize I didn’t believe about myself until now.
Obviously, of course, I’m a long shot. I know I’m not applying in the next cycle or two because why waste my money. BUT, does anyone have any advice or tips on how to move forward from here? I’m aware it’ll be a years long (or even lifelong) process, but I’m willing to put in the work and I do think I’m capable, I just have to prove it on paper. Is the grad school thing ever overcomable or am I just ****ed? Should I retake classes from undergrad that I maybe didn’t ace to make myself look better?
I understand it’ll take way more than grades, but I feel like at least the clinical stuff/mcat stuff/volunteering I can navigate on my own. This, I’m just not sure where to start.
Please be honest with me as kindly as possible lol.
