"How to Score Narcotics"

[WVUPharm2007]

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On my last blog entry, I decided to publish what I call "The Pharmacists' Guide to Scoring Narcotics." It's my tongue-in-cheek way to ramble on about those cute little idiosyncrasies the druggies all seem to mutually exhibit. I'm not going to retype the whole thing on here. If you want to read it, read it the whole thing here. Actually, you might want to read it first, it will make more sense. Here are the eight things I came up with in my 20 minute, caffeine and cheap hot dog fueled typing spree. Can you guys come up with any other good ones? I want to make an extensive list. If I had more caffeine or hot dogs, I may have continued on...but, alas, I am out of hot dogs and need your help.

1) Do not address a pharmacist as sir/ma'am.
2) Do not wear anything that says the words thug, g-unit, sean jean, or is the logo of some hippy band from the 1960s. A tshirt from an 80s hair band is questionable. Also, be sure to shower.
3) I know it's hard....but don't call your narcs in early.
4) Don't tell me you dropped your pills down the sink.
5) When getting your script for a narc filled, do not stare at me like I'm Natalie ****ing Portman walking around topless.
6) If you have a prescription for an antibiotic and a painkiller, for the love of God, don't tell me you "only need the painkiller."
7) Don't tell me to not bill a narc to your insurance because it's too early to go through.
8) Don't ask for brand name anything.

C'mon, show me how clever all of you are....

 

[OUTexan]

Don't tell me your dog ate all your narcs while you were out of the house.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I'd file that one under the "pills down the sink" excuse. I may need to expand that one to include ALL the lame excuses we hear...

 

[BMBiology]

(9) Don't quickly walk away from the pharmacy when I say I have to verify the prescription.

 

[Moxxie]

10) Don't call every hour, on the hour to see if one of your many doctors has phoned in your pain med refill.
11) When the doctor phones or faxes us back with a big "DO NOT REFILL," don't argue with the pharmacy staff. (True story - last Friday I told a guy that the doctor had said no to his early norco refill. He said, "What do you mean, he said no? Does that mean that I can't get them?" Um, duh.)

 

[Phlame217]

12) dont forge scripts and use an out of state, ER physican's DEA number who has a 24 hour cell line.(true story, sad sad little druggie)

13)After being released from jail, atleast attempt to get a new DEA number from a different out of state ER doc (lol...) and dont think that if a paper forge failed that calling it in on voicemail will work. Also, try a new pharmacy? (same idiot a week later wanted 10 oz(300 mL) of Prometh w/ Codiene)

 

[Priapism321]

Don't spring out of your car and basically jog to the front door, then proceed to limp/hobble your way back to the pharmacy.

OR

At least park outside the view of the drive-thru window if you are not willing to sell that severe pain from start to finish.

 

[Priapism321]

Do not ask me several questions regarding the description of the tablet while talking on your cell phone as I fill your oxycodone prescription (i.e. That tablet has "20" imprinted on it right?).

 

[Priapism321]

I have access to your prescription records for the last several years, mix in a non-controlled substance every now and again. Also, another big plus if you can make me believe you have a regular doctor when I review the above mentioned records (hint: go to the same one a few times in a row).

 

[ForcedEntry]

Skateboarders know how to score narc's

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wW4ejEguPQ&NR=1[/YOUTUBE]

 

[twester]

Don't tell me right off that bat that you're filling your sister's Vicodin script early because you and your twin sister are going to Cancun tomorrow and you both have bad knees.

 

[Mags]

I had actually had it happen with a stimulant once

ex: teenage girl pulls into drive thru in her mercedez suv with three other teens
teen: but my concerta was supposed to be called in
me: it can never be called it, it has to be an original script every time
teen: no its always been called or faxed it
me: unfortunately according to federal/state law thats illegal, so no, and last time we filled that for you, you indeed, did have an original written script from the MD

teen: well fine, but thats how its been done before
drives off

I may be a noob pharmacist but I wasnt born yesterday honey😎

 

[PharmDstudent]

A patient wanted #30 more of their hydrocodone/APAP tablets. The script called for #90, but they had only gotten #30 last time. The pharmacist said she couldn't fill it, because they should have enough at home already. The significant other trying to pick up the script says that the patient was going out of town. The pharmacist still says "no".
So the patient calls and says, "Well what if I go on vacation? I wouldn't have my medication if I go on vacation, because we can't transfer controls."

From this, I've decided that there's always a new low in pharmacy.

 

[JerryPharmD]

Guy comes in over the weekend and asks if his generic Darvocet is ready. It was filled 10 days earlier for BID #60 dosing. Before this, the same doc wrote for #50 generic Percs every two weeks. He says "the doc was supposed to increase the dose to TID." I tell him that we contacted the doc and haven't heard back yet. He walked away and said 'I'd rather get my scripts filled at XXX(local supermarket). (Damn, we lost a drug-seeking patient) Later that day I came across the fax from the doc in the problem bin. The doc wrote "patient is abusing medication, no early fill."

 

[Requiem]

The end of your blog isn't clear..

You're not doing the PhD or the residency cause you don't care enough?

if the latter are you actually contemplating a PhD?

 

[WVUPharm2007]

If I were to go on, it would be the PhD route. I will never do a residency because that entire line of work would become boring very, very fast (no offense at all to those in residencies that think it's cool...just not my thing). The entire point is that the profession is arriving at this point where doing a residency is considered the "next level" - and I disagree. It's just the next level on a very narrow spectrum of the profession. With that in mind, the chances of me going for a pharmacology PhD is somewhere between none and slim. It's not even that I don't care as much as I just don't want to go through with any more school....especially because it likely won't pay much more in the end.

 

[VCU2011]

my addition to the list- if you are going to create fake prescription pads to write the forged prescription on, at least make sure everything is spelled correctly.

Wish i could have made a copy of a script that was dropped off to us. There were at least 3 things spelled wrong on the printed script pad. (not even the medication...they spelled "address" wrong under the fake doctors name.)

 

[sakigt]

Buying more hotdogs > Coming up with something not as funny

Whats your paypal addy?

 

[vafcarrot]

I had a "my husband ran over my kid's medicine with his truck" this summer.

of course, it was for Ritalin. I asked her how that happened and she replied that she accidently left the pharmacy bag with the medicine in it right behind the tire on the ground in the driveway.... of course.... why did I even need to ask? apparently, all the medicine was completely smashed to pieces and unusable.

I told her without a doc's ok to early refill, she would have to wait. I then got yelled at for a good bit because I didn't understand what it was like dealing with a sick kid and how this was a medical emergency. finally the pharmacist intervened and told the lady that a kid without Ritalin during the summertime was not a medical emergency and that she needed to leave.

 

[JerryPharmD]

One of my favorites is when the Arabic numerals don't match the Roman numerals right next to them. Either that or refills placed on CIIs.

 

[twester]

Not so much about narcotics:

Woman on the phone: <slurred speech> Yes, this is Mmspha from Dr. Wrrpsi's office. I'm hoping you can help me. I'm looking for the address for Reqjis Wmmphtwa. She's a patient of our's and our office is closed today. Can you give me that information?

Me: I'm confused. What you looking for?

Woman: <repeat, still unintelligible names> Our office is closed today. Do you want to talk to the doctor, he's here?

Me: <thinking> Really, he's hanging out at your house on the weekend? <out loud> By all means, put him on.

Doctor: <repeat of the drunk lady's request>

Me: Can I have the patient's date of birth?

Doctor: I ain't got her birthday.

Me: No problem, just give us a call from the office with that and other information and I'll be glad to help. Of course, you've got her address in her file, right?

<click> <dial tone>

If you're trying to trick a pharmacy into giving out patient information, do not drink a case of beer before making the call. And doctors should never, ever use "ain't" in a sentence.

 

[loo]

Please, please, please don't tell me that your dog, cat, goat, parakeet, rat, etc. PEED in your controlled rx bottle...and no, I don't wanna smell it to verify that you're telling the truth (and we both know you're not).

Evidently, animals remove controlled rx's from the bottle before doing their business.

 

[McZyprexalynn]

Do not call and tell the pharmacist you are a pharmacist from CVS calling to transfer a prescription to us and give us a phony DEA# with only 8 digits. When the tech calls back your CVS store (which incidentally does not have any sort of automated answering service) to figure out what number the pharmacist forgot to write down do not give her a completely different series of numbers that still isn't a real DEA#. Don't say you'll call back when the tech tells you that there is no doctor with that DEA# in the governmental database. Don't call back and try to tell the pharmacy you gave them the wrong doctor's name and change the name from something like Smith to Henderson with a DEA# of BR999887.

Don't alter your controlled substance RX with a CRAYON. Even the pediatrician doesn't write RXs in crayon.

Do not tell us you are on vacation and forgot your RX so you'll send your father-in-law who is coming to your destination tomorrow to pick it up and then show up to pick it up yourself.

I actually did have someone bring in a bottle of Adderall that had fallen in the sink. The capsules were sort of still recognizable, but glopped together.

 

[bananaface]

Please, please, please don't tell me that your dog, cat, goat, parakeet, rat, etc. PEED in your controlled rx bottle...and no, I don't wanna smell it to verify that you're telling the truth (and we both know you're not).

Evidently, animals remove controlled rx's from the bottle before doing their business.

Long time no see. Welcome back 🙂

Once I had a lady claim that she spilled gasoline in her car and her narcs absorbed the gas fumes making them taste too bad to swallow.

 

[rxtek]

If you are going to alter a prescription, please, use the same color pen that the provider wrote the prescription with. I have see prescriptions written with a blue pen that had qty's altered with a red pen.

If you are going to add a drug to a prescription, spell it right. No Fioicet, Darvonset or Perkoset.

 

[sdn1977]

One of my favorites is when the Arabic numerals don't match the Roman numerals right next to them. Either that or refills placed on CIIs.

The CII refills - I've had a long chat with a PHYSICIAN wanting to refill the fentanyl patch rx. Apparently, after a longwinded, convoluted story about how the pharmacy which the nursing home uses just gets the rx fouled up & the pt goes days without it, she wants one she can just "refill". (this is not a hospice pt...so no go there.).

I explain & explain & even faxed her the law, but this dr just doesn't want to fuss about it every month. Ahhhh - now I know what the issue is - this is a routine she doesn't want the nursing home staff to continually bother her staff which continually bothers her to get this thing done.

So - I tell her if she'll be willing to write it when she receives my fax requesting it, I'll take care of getting the rx picked up, the nursing home & get it to the pt & we can circumvent the regular pharmacy.

So - now the nurses are happy, the dr is happy, the pt....I guess...is happy (he's confused, but out of pain), the dr staff knows when they see my fax what to do - all is good.

Dr is still a little pissed that she can't write refills & thinks THAT is all my doing (or some other pharmacist)...but, at least she's willing to go along with my method & its decreased her harrassment on this one issue tremendously.

 

[JerryPharmD]

sdn,

In Arizona, a doc can sign a fax authorizing CII refills as long as the patient is in a LTC facility (not assisted killing, er living) for a LTC pharmacy. Does CA law differ or are you working in an outpatient pharmacy?

 

[sdn1977]

sdn,

In Arizona, a doc can sign a fax authorizing CII refills as long as the patient is in a LTC facility (not assisted killing, er living) for a LTC pharmacy. Does CA law differ or are you working in an outpatient pharmacy?

CA law differs. We can do "refills" for hospice, but not for SNF or long term care. That's outpt.

At my inpt job, we fill orders for the SNF - but they are filled out of pyxis - no different from inpt. Easy!

Not so easy in the retail setting.

 

[Old Timer]

When you call in your fake RX yourself, don't use the phone booth right outside the store. That way I can hear the bus go by at the same time I see the bus go by. Or better yet, don't phone in from a phone booth.

 

[lord999]

Consider adding to that:

Attend to hygeine: Bathe regularly, wash your godd**n hands (yes, that means you, speedy), and look somewhat respectable and not like a narc fiend.

 

[bananaface]

If you are going to alter a prescription, please, use the same color pen that the provider wrote the prescription with. I have see prescriptions written with a blue pen that had qty's altered with a red pen.

If you are going to add a drug to a prescription, spell it right. No Fioicet, Darvonset or Perkoset.

Prescribers do this too. I know an ER doc that always writes "Percosette" and one doc has a preprinted blank for "Vicodan".

 

[Moxxie]

Prescribers do this too. I know an ER doc that always writes "Percosette" and one doc has a preprinted blank for "Vicodan".

Not quite as bad, but I got a very neatly written script for "Concirta" the other day.