how to send a friendly email rejecting RA position

[phillips101]

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So I'm in the process of trying to find an RA position that will allow me to get the clinical experience, both for my own knowledge and for grad school. I've contacted several people, and currently, 2 want to bring me in for an interview. Basically, of the 2, there's one that is my first preference (unless something comes up during the interview that changes my mind). The work seems a lot more interesting, and it was the first person I contacted. For the other one, the PI seems really nice and I have been corresponding with him/her through email. However, its location is extremely inconvenient, and I don't see myself doing the commute. Both of these are unpaid position, so in addition to working for free, I have to spend on gas money too, and I don't have mom and dad to pay for that. I have a part-time right now, but it's barely enough to cover anything, so I really don't have the resources to pay gas + parking + train tickets. In other words, I'm paying to work for free =(

So to summarize, I have labs A & B as possibilities, but I don't care so much for B. If you're wondering why I applied to it in the first place, it's because I didn't know about the commute until after they replied. They've already kinda considered me part of the lab, so I feel bad for backing out.

Anyways, even though I haven't interviewed with my first preference yet, I highly doubt I'll take lab B regardless. How do I send a friendly email saying "I don't want to work with you anymore" without burning bridges and sounding pompous or creating any animosity? Usually, I take the first lab that takes me, so I've never really had to do this before. Plus, the PI has been extremely nice (via email, I haven't met him/her).

 

[PhDToBe]

So I'm in the process of trying to find an RA position that will allow me to get the clinical experience, both for my own knowledge and for grad school. I've contacted several people, and currently, 2 want to bring me in for an interview. Basically, of the 2, there's one that is my first preference (unless something comes up during the interview that changes my mind). The work seems a lot more interesting, and it was the first person I contacted. For the other one, the PI seems really nice and I have been corresponding with him/her through email. However, its location is extremely inconvenient, and I don't see myself doing the commute. Both of these are unpaid position, so in addition to working for free, I have to spend on gas money too, and I don't have mom and dad to pay for that. I have a part-time right now, but it's barely enough to cover anything, so I really don't have the resources to pay gas + parking + train tickets. In other words, I'm paying to work for free =(

So to summarize, I have labs A & B as possibilities, but I don't care so much for B. If you're wondering why I applied to it in the first place, it's because I didn't know about the commute until after they replied. They've already kinda considered me part of the lab, so I feel bad for backing out.

Anyways, even though I haven't interviewed with my first preference yet, I highly doubt I'll take lab B regardless. How do I send a friendly email saying "I don't want to work with you anymore" without burning bridges and sounding pompous or creating any animosity? Usually, I take the first lab that takes me, so I've never really had to do this before. Plus, the PI has been extremely nice (via email, I haven't met him/her).

I would be honest and list your main reason as the long commute, but be sure to convey that it is not because you're too lazy, but because your current financial situation prohibits you from being able to afford such a commute.

 

[PsycOut]

I would be honest and list your main reason as the long commute, but be sure to convey that it is not because you're too lazy, but because your current financial situation prohibits you from being able to afford such a commute.

I agree with the part about highlighting the commute...especially the financial angle; however, I would also explain that your interests are in "such and such area" and that an opportunity at another lab is a better fit for your volunteer experience. (Part of the reason I think you need to convey this is that they could "call your bluff" and offer you some sort of compensation for the commute, maybe unlikely but if so you'd be stuck backing out a second time).

 

[phillips101]

I agree with the part about highlighting the commute...especially the financial angle; however, I would also explain that your interests are in "such and such area" and that an opportunity at another lab is a better fit for your volunteer experience. (Part of the reason I think you need to convey this is that they could "call your bluff" and offer you some sort of compensation for the commute, maybe unlikely but if so you'd be stuck backing out a second time).

A part of me always feels like if one reaches out to someone and gets offered a position, it's kinda taken for granted that you'd take it. So I'm pretty hesitant to back out without looking flakey. Is this usually the case?

To be honest, if they're willing to compensate me for the commute, I would definitely reconsider. But I highly doubt it.

 

[PsycOut]

A part of me always feels like if one reaches out to someone and gets offered a position, it's kinda taken for granted that you'd take it. So I'm pretty hesitant to back out without looking flakey. Is this usually the case?

To be honest, if they're willing to compensate me for the commute, I would definitely reconsider. But I highly doubt it.

I think you're operating under a false assumption. The reality is that people turn down job offers, grad school offers, etc. all the time. Your description of the entire story was obviously incomplete; however, the basic story suggests that you're completely free to back out without looking like a flake. If you explain to the prof. that you were exploring different options and the lab with the best fit for you has offered you a position then you've explained yourself adequately. Every person has to weigh a number of factors (commute time and expense, research fit, etc.) before making a final decision. You now have the necessary info. to decide; now it's time to relay the decision to the prof.

 

[phillips101]

Thanks everyone, I know what to do now 🙂

Well I've never even met the PI, just emailed a lot. So it's not like I said yes, worked there, and then quit (which is worse). I'll just email him/her back and be honest about the situation. Thanks.