How to view LOR before sending them

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dbc77

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So based on some stories on this site, I definitely want to check out my LOR before I send them out. How have you guys that use Interfolio cheated the system? I am thinking about having them sent to my work (a country club) to the manager's office, and picking them up. I'll probably say that I need them to apply for a scholarship. Any other ideas? I know a lot of you will say just talk to the writer and ask to view it, but I would rather not. I would feel a little weird asking my profs to view their letters; I don't want to appear that I don't trust them or something like that. All comments welcome.

DBC
 
You don't want it to appear that you don't trust them. But you apparently do not trust them. Stop being a coward and trying to cheat the system.
 
dbc77 said:
So based on some stories on this site, I definitely want to check out my LOR before I send them out. How have you guys that use Interfolio cheated the system? I am thinking about having them sent to my work (a country club) to the manager's office, and picking them up. I'll probably say that I need them to apply for a scholarship. Any other ideas? I know a lot of you will say just talk to the writer and ask to view it, but I would rather not. I would feel a little weird asking my profs to view their letters; I don't want to appear that I don't trust them or something like that. All comments welcome.

DBC

Here's the deal. If you waive your right to view the letters, that's just that. You've given up the chance to know what your recommenders wrote. The only way around it is if the writer agrees to give you a copy. Most writers will gladly give you a copy. Just tell them you would like to be able to better anticipate the questions for your interviews. Certainly, they will not think that you do not trust them, since the letter is already sent and you couldn't change it anyways. If they say no however, chances are they wrote something bad about you...
 
Okay, does the fact that telling your professors that they are writing lors based on the pretense that you are not going to see them and then intentionally finding a way to read them not bother you ethically at all? What are you afraid they might write about you? Have you been dishonest in a class before?

Look, despite what many people might think or say, this is supposed to be an honorable position, which means cut out the crap. If you want to see what your lors look like, then sign a waiver and let them know you're going to see it. Otherwise, hands off.
 
Don't listen to these bitter people. I read all of mine. When you give them the waiver tell the person writing the letter that it gives them the right not to show you, but if they want to they can; leave it up to them. Chances are, if you're close enough with the person to write you a letter, they will show you. If they say no, then they probably weren't going to write a stellar letter anyways.
 
dbc77 said:
So based on some stories on this site, I definitely want to check out my LOR before I send them out. How have you guys that use Interfolio cheated the system? I am thinking about having them sent to my work (a country club) to the manager's office, and picking them up. I'll probably say that I need them to apply for a scholarship. Any other ideas? I know a lot of you will say just talk to the writer and ask to view it, but I would rather not. I would feel a little weird asking my profs to view their letters; I don't want to appear that I don't trust them or something like that. All comments welcome.

DBC

Lots of profs will send you a courtesy copy of LORs. If you are close with a prof they sometimes even might be receptive to your offering to help them out by putting together a first draft for them. But no, if you ask someone to write you a LOR, you should be comfortable with what they are going to write.
 
If you need to see your letter to make sure they are okay, you might try asking someone that you know and trust to write them instead. People you have shadowed, leaders of groups you are in....
People to often don't take the time to make these connections, and it comes back to bite them in the butt.
 
I'd have to question your judgment if you chose people who will write you confidential letters, and yet you want to see what they wrote about you. To me, I infer you don't trust them.
 
dbc77 said:
So based on some stories on this site, I definitely want to check out my LOR before I send them out. How have you guys that use Interfolio cheated the system? I am thinking about having them sent to my work (a country club) to the manager's office, and picking them up. I'll probably say that I need them to apply for a scholarship. Any other ideas? I know a lot of you will say just talk to the writer and ask to view it, but I would rather not. I would feel a little weird asking my profs to view their letters; I don't want to appear that I don't trust them or something like that. All comments welcome.

DBC

Kinda like, when a patient shows up with a fistful of pot, asking you to help him quit, and you turn him in to the cops... Ever hear of being in a pickle? Step off man, just step off.
 
dbc77 said:
So based on some stories on this site, I definitely want to check out my LOR before I send them out. How have you guys that use Interfolio cheated the system? I am thinking about having them sent to my work (a country club) to the manager's office, and picking them up. I'll probably say that I need them to apply for a scholarship. Any other ideas? I know a lot of you will say just talk to the writer and ask to view it, but I would rather not. I would feel a little weird asking my profs to view their letters; I don't want to appear that I don't trust them or something like that. All comments welcome.

DBC

That's pretty dishonest. Either trust what they said was good, or don't send them. Don't be a weasel.
 
tacrum43 said:
That's pretty dishonest. Either trust what they said was good, or don't send them. Don't be a weasel.

oh please, it has nothing to do with being a "weasel"...Your entire future could depend on it and it's absolutely your right to know what they say about you-regardless of some dumb$$$ waiver... Heck, you might not even like their crappy writing style. As nice as some profs can be, and as kind as it may be that they accept your request to write you a letter, they are really busy people and definitely prone toward writing generic crap letters like " 'X" was a nice student. He/She asked a lot of questions in class." You don't have to take any letter written for you...Take the best. And the waiver only protects them so they can write crap indiscriminately.

Here's what you do: Tell 'em (either the prof or letter service) that a copy is going to a scholarship service , find someone with a PO Box (or use your own with a different name) and you're golden. Yea, some professors might agree to send you a copy, but being that they're already a pain to get a hold of, and that they might make changes to the copy they give you...You have to take matters into your own hands. This is your career on the line, not theirs. You shouldn't suffer because some of them are too polite to say "no" when they really can't write something outstanding.
 
To applying students,

I didn't really know any of my professors. I went to a big state school where the professors don't really intermingle with the students. Don't be afraid to ask the profs anyways. Chances are, they've already written letters for students in this situation anyway. I can't imagine that my letters were that outstanding, but I got into some med schools. Keep in mind that med schools know that letters from big state universities will be less personal than those from the tiny liberal arts colleges. Try to ballance it out with a letter from an employer who knew you well. Maybe a coach too.

I was worried that my letters wouldn't be good. I thought about sending a copy to my house so I could see them out of curiosity. But like many others, this is just a day-dream. Like robbing a bank. You're not really going to do it...

Plus, like it's been said before, cheating the system to view your letters is unethical. Would you want your doctor to do this? How would you feel knowing that your doctor picked and chose the confidential LORs to help advance his/her career?

Everyone goes through it, and that's just the way it is. Of course everyone is a little curious, but no one looks. It's all part of the game. Sure you could try to slick talk your way into getting your prof to show you the letter, but then you're a weasel.
 
clement said:
oh please, it has nothing to do with being a "weasel"...Your entire future could depend on it and it's absolutely your right to know what they say about you-regardless of some dumba$$ waiver... Heck, you might not even like their crappy writing style. Here's what you do: Tell 'em a copy is going to a scholarship service, find someone with a PO Box (or use your own with a different name) and you're golden.

So don't sign the waiver then. By signing the waiver you give up your "absolute right" to read them, which wasn't actually a right at all until they passed that law saying it was back in 1974.
 
clement said:
oh please, it has nothing to do with being a "weasel"...Your entire future could depend on it and it's absolutely your right to know what they say about you-regardless of some dumba$$ waiver... Heck, you might not even like their crappy writing style. Here's what you do: Tell 'em a copy is going to a scholarship service, find someone with a PO Box (or use your own with a different name) and you're golden.

haha, that's funny. I used the word "weasel" without reading that other guy's post who said "weasel" too!

Clearly, if you're weaseling your way into seeing letters that you don't rightfully have access to, that makes you a weasel.

No, your entire future does not rely on a single letter of recommendation, assuming you don't have some egregious error that the person wrote about, in which case you might not want to ask that person in the first place, duh. Your future will not be ruined by a mediocre LOR.

Who are you to say it's your right to see everything that someone has written about you? The whole reason they set it up this way is so people can be honest in their LORs.

Imagine you are writing some LORs. Don't you think it is your right to have some privacy in your recomendation? Otherwise the whole system could easily be corrupted.

This is sooo black and white.
 
BAM! said:
haha, that's funny. I used the word "weasel" without reading that other guy's post who said "weasel" too!

Clearly, if you're weaseling your way into seeing letters that you don't rightfully have access to, that makes you a weasel.

No, your entire future does not rely on a single letter of recommendation, assuming you don't have some egregious error that the person wrote about, in which case you might not want to ask that person in the first place, duh. Your future will not be ruined by a mediocre LOR.

Who are you to say it's your right to see everything that someone has written about you? The whole reason they set it up this way is so people can be honest in their LORs.

Imagine you are writing some LORs. Don't you think it is your right to have some privacy in your recomendation? Otherwise the whole system could easily be corrupted.

This is sooo black and white.

I respectfully disagree with you.

Yes, in theory the waiver system is intended to produce honest evaluations of students, and it's very rosey and honorable how some people will defend the "ethical basis" of waivers down to the end. HOWEVER, the reality is, waivers allow mediocre, if not crappy, letters to stain your application. Unlike numbers, LORs are absolutely subjective.

Furthermore, like I said, waivers, while enforced with good intentions, protect otherwise shy or busy profs from saying "no" when they don't have the time or the dedication to write something meaningful. And while it is rare, you occasionally run into the complexed prof. who never made it into med school and hates your guts for trying (I met plenty of those at my hardcore research school), but will never tell you to your face because of their Phd pride. Please, don't tell me that you won't venture into the other side of the ethical line to scold profs who wouldn't take advantage of the waiver system to write crap.

If you ask me, it's not so black and white. People with 3.5+ GPAs and 30+ MCATs routinely get stumped with rejections that could easily be based on one person's LOR convincing an adcom more than the next person's generic, even crummy LOR. At the very least, you can screen out letters that either do nothing for you, or even damage your application. It's a personal choice.

Not everyone has the good fortune of going to a small, lib-arts school where glory LORs come spewing out.

You can't deny that this is a process in which we dedicate hundreds if not thousands of dollars in time, money, and energy. Waivers are nothing more than a formality through which some people choose to create a question of "ethics". I'm not saying its OK to write your own letters, I'm just saying, you have the right to protect your application from crap-O-Rs that could potentially cheat you of an opportunity that you have worked damn hard for...Bottom line, look at it this way, some profs are ONLY willing to write a letter with the added protection of a waiver. That sucks. Food for thought.
 
Here is the thing...If you do read them and find out they wrote something bad...what are you going to do?

Scramble to find another writer? If you ask them in the beginning if they will write you a strong positive LOR, they shouldn't lie to you.
 
clement said:
I respectfully disagree with you.

Yes, in theory the waiver system is intended to produce honest evaluations of students, and it's very rosey and honorable how some people will defend the "ethical basis" of waivers down to the end. HOWEVER, the reality is, waivers allow mediocre, if not crappy, letters to stain your application. Unlike numbers, LORs are absolutely subjective.

Furthermore, like I said, waivers, while enforced with good intentions, protect otherwise shy or busy profs from saying "no" when they don't have the time or the dedication to write something meaningful. And while it is rare, you occasionally run into the complexed prof. who never made it into med school and hates your guts for trying (I met plenty of those at my hardcore research school), but will never tell you to your face because of their Phd pride. Please, don't tell me that you won't venture into the other side of the ethical line to scold profs who wouldn't take advantage of the waiver system to write crap.

If you ask me, it's not so black and white. People with 3.5+ GPAs and 30+ MCATs routinely get stumped with rejections that could easily be based on one person's LOR convincing an adcom more than the next person's generic, even crummy LOR. At the very least, you can screen out letters that either do nothing for you, or even damage your application. It's a personal choice.

Not everyone has the good fortune of going to a small, lib-arts school where glory LORs come spewing out.

You can't deny that this is a process in which we dedicate hundreds if not thousands of dollars in time, money, and energy. Waivers are nothing more than a formality through which some people choose to create a question of "ethics". I'm not saying its OK to write your own letters, I'm just saying, you have the right to protect your application from crap-O-Rs that could potentially cheat you of an opportunity that you have worked damn hard for...Bottom line, look at it this way, some profs are ONLY willing to write a letter with the added protection of a waiver. That sucks. Food for thought.

food for thought...just because this process requires a lot of us doesn't make it OK to cheat. you could easily rationalize cheating on a test by saying, "well, since it's so hard to get into med school, i don't want to waste money/time/effort, so i'll just increase my odds by sneaking in formulas." in that case, you're only protecting yourself from crap-o-grades, right?

in this case, it's not just the moral high ground, it's the freaking law. do the best you can with what you have, and that's it. no cheating.
 
What the hell are you talking about?

It's so black and white. I understand that some people get emotionally and financially wrapped up in it. But if you take a step back, it's pretty clear.

I'm not going to insult your intelligence and explain the purpose of making it confidential. Though, keep in mind that if they weren't confidential, then every recomendation would only say positive things about everyone.

Here's where I think a lot of people are getting hung up. I think that many premeds are control-freaks. They want control over things that they can't control, like LORs. Reality check: they are supposed to be out of your control! But if you are worried about possibly getting a bad rec from a certain professor. Don't ask them for one. Or don't use it. But PLEASE don't cheat by unlawfully viewing them and then picking and choosing which ones to use to your benefit. This is against the rules and gives you an unfair advantage over other students. CLEARLY, in black and white, THIS IS UNETHICAL.

It's called, using your best judgement. You won't be able to control everything in life, especially as a doctor. Not to mention, ADCOMs aren't stupid. After reading thousands of LORs, they can distinguish different writing styles. If one letter is mediocre, it won't kill your chances of getting into med school.
 
I agree with the above posters who said that it's unethical to try to read letters that you signed a contract not to read-- that is, assuming that the professors in question aren't willing to send you a copy. That being said, I understand that some professors write mediocre LORs because they're afraid to say "no" to students who ask them for recommendations, and I understand that bad LORs really can make or break your application. This is why, when you are asking a prof for an LOR, you should ask him point-blank, "Do you think you could write me a strong recommendation? Please be kind enough to give me an honest answer; I won't hold it against you if you say "no." If you don't think you could write me a strong recommendation, please tell me now so that I can ask another professor." If you don't know the prof well enough to feel comfortable asking him this, then this is not a prof whom you should be asking for a recommendation.

Also, something I did, which might be considered slightly mean but not really unethical, is that I asked for more LORs than I actually needed. When it was time to compile my application, I sat down, chose the 3-4 LORs that I had the best gut feeling about, and sent only those. By asking for more LORs than I actually needed, I increased the chances that I ended up with at least 3 recommenders whom I felt I could trust. Yeah, it's kind of mean to ask someone to waste their time writing a letter that you don't actually end up using, and people will probably flame me for doing so and for advising you to do so. But it's a heck of a lot more ethical than some things that other people have suggested, so at least you'll be able to sleep with a somewhat clean conscience.
 
First of all, some of you need to get off your rigid moral+ethical high horses.

While you should ALWAYS sign the release waiver and/or have the professor sign over the envelope seal, there are plenty of professors out there--typically the younger faculty and the veteran tenured ones--who will outright show you the letters and specifically ask for your input. Honest, collaborative letters are the most detailed and accurate narratives of your experiences, and a good professor will always call you on any embellished BS that you try to include in THEIR letter.

Release waivers are nothing but legal formalities brought forth by a third-party entity trying to impose its bureaucratic authority. Good professors who truly care about your future and success will recognize this, and while still following the "rules," they will still allow you to have access and input to their recommendations.

An alternative to this is have a an outside referee, like a fellowship advisor, who receives and reviews all the letters, and informs you of the best ones so you can then choose to send the appropriate ones.
 
BAM! said:
I was worried that my letters wouldn't be good. I thought about sending a copy to my house so I could see them out of curiosity. But like many others, this is just a day-dream. Like robbing a bank. You're not really going to do it...

ROBBING A BANK!! That is so true. I was slightly scandalized at reading the original post, yet strangely I also felt slight admiration at the courage of it all. Reading your LOR?! That very idea makes me feel 😀 and :scared:
all at once.
To the original poster:
I'd say best not do it. Just assume the best. Professors generally are good honest people and he/she wouldn't have agreed to write for you if they have negative things to say about you.
Relax and goodluck! We're all in the same boat as of right now.
 
In defense of the people who are sitting on "moral and ethical high horses" or are "bitter" or whatever, we're simply saying what we think. After all, the OP was brave enough to post his real situation and his real thoughts and to tell us that all comments are welcome, and I really respect that, and I didn't mean to be mean in my response. I think the people who are using the word "unethical" are referring to students who use back-door methods to view their LORs; they are *not* referring to students whose profs show them their LORs upfront. Of *course* there's nothing unethical about looking at your LORs if your profs choose to show them to you. Getting a secret PO box or whatever is a very different matter, however.
 
clusterfunk said:
Release waivers are nothing but legal formalities


Um no, waivers are binding, not formalities. This sounds like those folks who say that a contract "is not worth the paper it is written on" -- yet they always seem to lose in court. 🙄 It is actually not us on rigid moral high horses, it sounds like you and a couple of others on this thread might be on a particularly low one. You don't get to dismiss rules because you don't like them or because your future is at stake. You either play by the rules of admission or you find another career that has rules you like better.
If you can't find folks to recommend you, who you know are going to say only positive things about you, you either didn't do a good job of laying the groundwork for an LOR, or there is something about your character that might make med school a bad career choice for you.
BrettB had a point -- if the letter is bad, what are you planning to do then? If you use the PO box fraud suggested earlier in the thread, you are still SOL, just that you know about it earlier.
You are going into a profession that values honesty, and has a strong sense of ethics and morality. All med schools have honor codes and some will symbolically make you sign it. Med schools universally will give you a talk during orientation week, during which they indicate that some of the things they cannot tolerate are lying, cheating etc. It doesn't bode well for you if the only reason you get to hear that speech is through deception.
Good luck.
 
this cheating and immoral stuff remind me of Enron for some reason....
 
silas2642 said:
Okay, does the fact that telling your professors that they are writing lors based on the pretense that you are not going to see them and then intentionally finding a way to read them not bother you ethically at all? What are you afraid they might write about you? Have you been dishonest in a class before?

Look, despite what many people might think or say, this is supposed to be an honorable position, which means cut out the crap. If you want to see what your lors look like, then sign a waiver and let them know you're going to see it. Otherwise, hands off.


Get over your ethical cr*p. Ever since you got into a school, you have been spewing the importance of ethics. 😡 In this process, everyone likes to think they are bound by ethics, but they really are not. That includes the applicants AND the schools.
 
USArmyDoc said:
Get over your ethical cr*p. Ever since you got into a school, you have been spewing the importance of ethics. 😡 In this process, everyone likes to think they are bound by ethics, but they really are not. That includes the applicants AND the schools.

You see, that's the big problem with our society today.
 
Law2Doc said:
Um no, waivers are binding, not formalities. This sounds like those folks who say that a contract "is not worth the paper it is written on" -- yet they always seem to lose in court. 🙄 It is actually not us on rigid moral high horses, it sounds like you and a couple of others on this thread might be on a particularly low one. You don't get to dismiss rules because you don't like them or because your future is at stake. You either play by the rules of admission or you find another career that has rules you like better.
If you can't find folks to recommend you, who you know are going to say only positive things about you, you either didn't do a good job of laying the groundwork for an LOR, or there is something about your character that might make med school a bad career choice for you.
BrettB had a point -- if the letter is bad, what are you planning to do then? If you use the PO box fraud suggested earlier in the thread, you are still SOL, just that you know about it earlier.
You are going into a profession that values honesty, and has a strong sense of ethics and morality. All med schools have honor codes and some will symbolically make you sign it. Med schools universally will give you a talk during orientation week, during which they indicate that some of the things they cannot tolerate are lying, cheating etc. It doesn't bode well for you if the only reason you get to hear that speech is through deception.
Good luck.

Great post 👍

If you're really worried about what they'll say, (and them not wanting to show you is a huge red flag), you might want to choose someone else. One of my LOR writers showed me her letter yesterday with no prompting. She insisted after I told her it wasn't necessary. She wanted to make sure it had included everything I wanted. I wonder how often this will happen
 
I'd say this whole conflict can be avoided by asking the write question...

(potential letter writer), do you believe you can write me a strong, positive letter of recommendation for medical school?

Unless you've really misread the person, they're not going to screw you and lie.


I've had several writers give me copies of my letters without me having to ask, but others didn't, it wasn't a big deal, I know they were good letters. You might get to read the letter, but if not, if won't be the end of the world. Don't do something stupid.

Now OP, you seriously need to grow up if you're going to go into medicine, this is a slipery slope your are on. You are explicitly signing a waiver stating you agree not to see the letter unless the author consents to show you. (the analogies to patient treatment without conesent are endless, but I'll save my breath)
 
e_phn said:
You see, that's the big problem with our society today.

I hear ya.....and by the way to take a side on this issue I am against the OP doing what he said he wants to do. I am just sick of hearing about ethics from pre-meds...I seriously think they have some sort of Godly complex.
 
Furthermore, like I said, waivers, while enforced with good intentions, protect otherwise shy or busy profs from saying "no" when they don't have the time or the dedication to write something meaningful. And while it is rare, you occasionally run into the complexed prof. who never made it into med school and hates your guts for trying (I met plenty of those at my hardcore research school), but will never tell you to your face because of their Phd pride. Please, don't tell me that you won't venture into the other side of the ethical line to scold profs who wouldn't take advantage of the waiver system to write crap...
...You can't deny that this is a process in which we dedicate hundreds if not thousands of dollars in time, money, and energy.

If this process is worth so much to you (as it is to everyone), then instead of trying to peak at the LOR, spend time and effort finding someone you know to write the letter. By that I mean, someone you can trust, and maybe someone you've heard writes excellent LOR's. This, of course, goes back to earlier years of undergrad, when you had the opportunity to get into a position where you could get to know your profs.
 
I feel for the people who can't get outstanding letters from professors. I was one of them. All of my classes were 100-200 students, and you can bet that the professors didn't know all of the students' names. There's nothing wrong with being a wallflower in class, and it won't make you a better doctor for standing out during lecture. So I understand why someone might be afraid that a professor won't write a good rec for you because he/she doesn't know you. But that's OK. It doesn't mean that you have some inherent personality flaw that will make you a bad doctor. Med schools understand this. Professors understand this. IT WILL NOT KEEP YOU OUT OF MED SCHOOL.

Also, I think people have lost sight of the fact that the OP was only toying with the idea. Scheming, contemplating, dreaming...

One more thing: someone already said this. Get lots and lots of recs. If you think one might not be as good as another, don't use it. Pick and choose which recs you want to send to which schools. I asked ~11 people to write recs for me, and only 8 of them did. You can only send ~6 max to a school, and it gave me some room to pick and choose. So you're not SOL if you think one of your recs is bad.

I understand things aren't always black and white. Sometimes you need to bend the rules in order to get something accomplished that you otherwise couldn't due to beaurarcracy (sp?). Sometimes bending the rules can be beneficial to others, or serve a greater good. But this isn't the case. It's not bending the rules for a greater cause. It's purely selfish. THIS IS BLACK AND WHITE. It's dishonest. You can't argue that. What people are arguing is that they don't like it, so they are going to choose not to abide by the rules that everyone else follows.

When I first read this thread, I thought - hmmm, that's an interesting idea. I dreamed about it for a little bit. I figured people would go with it for a little bit, jokingly, but universally decide that it's not a good idea/unethical. What is surprising everyone is that some people don't see it as unethical. And that is what's chapping everyone's hides. Plus, this isn't a "high horse" premed thing. Ask anyone of your friends or anyone else out there if they think it's unethical. Don't ask them if they like it or agree with it. Ask them if it's unethical. It's black and white.
 
BAM! said:
Plus, this isn't a "high horse" premed thing. Ask anyone of your friends or anyone else out there if they think it's unethical. Don't ask them if they like it or agree with it. Ask them if it's unethical. It's black and white.

Well said.
 
OP here. Well, I will start off by saying I am extremely surprised at the response this post received. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased with the amount of postings and read all of them 👍 . Here are my thoughts. First of all, my original post was an idea, and just that. I couldn't believe the negative responses some people were writing: I have never been called a "weasel" before and found it quite humorous for a complete stranger to assume I am a piece of crap based on an idea I posted :laugh: . Second, to those who decided I was unethical, I am not sure what to say. I guess I didn't think about it in that way, but can see why you all would think that. I did sign a waiver saying I wouldn't see the LOR, and should stick to this agreement. The reason I want to see the letters is not because I believe any of the writers would have anything bad to say about me, because they wouldn't. I have very good relationships with all of them, and know they would not write anything negative about me. However, I want to read the letters because I have many to choose from, and I want to see which ones are the best, and will help my application the most. All in all, I will probably just end up going with my gut feeling, and choosing the letters with the people I am closest with, and whom I believe would write the best letter. I apologize to all those I offended with my OP, and am sorry if my "unethical" idea ruined all of your days 🙄 . Thank you to all who posted opinions, and good luck to all of you with your own LORs.
 
dbc77 said:
OP here. Well, I will start off by saying I am extremely surprised at the response this post received. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased with the amount of postings and read all of them 👍 . Here are my thoughts. First of all, my original post was an idea, and just that. I couldn't believe the negative responses some people were writing: I have never been called a "weasel" before and found it quite humorous for a complete stranger to assume I am a piece of crap based on an idea I posted :laugh: . Second, to those who decided I was unethical, I am not sure what to say. I guess I didn't think about it in that way, but can see why you all would think that. I did sign a waiver saying I wouldn't see the LOR, and should stick to this agreement. The reason I want to see the letters is not because I believe any of the writers would have anything bad to say about me, because they wouldn't. I have very good relationships with all of them, and know they would not write anything negative about me. However, I want to read the letters because I have many to choose from, and I want to see which ones are the best, and will help my application the most. All in all, I will probably just end up going with my gut feeling, and choosing the letters with the people I am closest with, and whom I believe would write the best letter. I apologize to all those I offended with my OP, and am sorry if my "unethical" idea ruined all of your days 🙄 . Thank you to all who posted opinions, and good luck to all of you with your own LORs.


👍 This is a great post. I admire how you braved all the message-board fury, and I hope we didn't offend you too much with our responses, dbc77. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that you, as a person, are unethical; all I meant to say was that the idea that you were considering was, IMHO, unethical. Things just sound harsher in writing than we intend them to sound. Anyway, good luck!
 
e_phn said:
Get over your ethical cr*p. Ever since you got into a school, you have been spewing the importance of ethics. In this process, everyone likes to think they are bound by ethics, but they really are not. That includes the applicants AND the schools.
You see, that's the big problem with our society today.

:laugh: so ironic.
so true.

OP, I admired your courage to post this though. I didn't read all the posts, but what a fury you caused. Although I don't think it's a right thing to do, I had thought too how good it'd be to read it, or better yet, I wish this whole LOR thing just don't exist, so I don't have to be going to the professor asking for favor and taking up their time this way, but rather just talk to them for the sake of enjoying their company. I wish all these social trade and evaluation stuff don't exist but it's life. And indeed it helps making sure no (or at least less) unethical people get into the more important positions..
 
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