How Would You Handle This

[LP1CW]

A few weeks ago, I started shadowing this doctor. He's a family doctor. Well, yesterday, this patient came into be seen. It was just a follow up visit. But I must confess, she was so good looking. I couldn't focus. I tried to play it cool, but after we went into his office, he asked me, "Did you notice how hot she is?"
I smiled and said, "Yeah, I did. Doc, how do you keep your mind on the job?"
He smiled and said, "When you're first starting out, it may affect you. You'll notice attractive patients, but eventually it won't matter. You're there to work. They need you and you're there to help them."
But working on good looking girls is hard. I bet docs are tempted to ask out patients. It was something I never even thought about.

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[commy-superman]

His specialty isn?t by any chance OB/GYN

 

[....]

Never ask a patient out.

But, what goes on in your head is your business.

 

[matthew45]

The pediatrician I shadowed would always laugh at me when we came out of a room with a really hot mom. I think I just blatantly checked one out one day (out of the room of course, like when she was leaving) and he thought it was hilarious and it became a game we played.
I would be scared of any doc who was such a drone that they didn't even recognize and attractive woman/man when they saw them.

 

[thewzdoc]

My wife went to see a new dermatologist and let's just say that he was "happy" to see and touch her skin.

His...ahem....manhood brushed against her as he was leaning in to "checkout something on her chest".

Her new nickname for his is "Doctor Feels a lot".

I freaked but she was cool about it....I guess attractive women are used to guys coming on to them. (Maybe I should rephrase that)

I often wonder how I am going to control myself when an attractive woman has to disrobe for an exam. I hope that I can remain professionally detached?..

 

[DMO]

This must be some of the lighter yet darker side of medicine and practicing. It cracks me up . I wonder if they tell you this in medical school? "How do deal with extremely hot patients 101"

BTW....how did you guys set up your shadowing/observing with a doc?

 

[rjmst]

i **** like five ***** that way

edited by ckent

 

[Jamier2]

RMJST - please don't use that l anguage on h ere. It's a f amily f orum.

Originally posted by DMO
BTW....how did you guys set up your shadowing/observing with a doc?

Just ask any doc you know, and if you don't know any, ask friends who to shadow. If you don't even have that, just look in the phone book. When I was at that stage, I never had one doc turn me down. Most docs enjoy having "shadows" around.

 

[Giving My .02]

This might just be me or something, but first appearances aren't what attracts me to people. I am lady & don't have those male hormones, but it has occured to me in my short lifespan that sometimes the cutest people are sometimes the rudiest, etc. So, I don't think I will ever have a problem treating handsome guys. It is something I don't find attractive right off the bat. So honestly, I know it will never be a problem. For those who are attractive to their patients, I just think you need to add professionalism (sp?) into your practice. I know us pre-meds don't have to learn this until later since we aren't the ones usually finding the job out of college, but even with medicine we must be professional people. Just how we like the admissions people treating us with due respect, we must transfer that mentality to our patients. Beautiful women are use to getting these responses, but we like to be treated like everyone else and not googled over if we are coming into the office sick or bringing our children in because they are sick. Now days, I would be extra careful with sexual harassment etc. It is more common than you might think.

 

[LP1CW]

Giving My .02, post a pic and I'll tell you if you're hot.

 

[thackl]

LP, take a break.

 

[beastmaster]

Originally posted by thewzdoc
My wife went to see a new dermatologist and let's just say that he was "happy" to see and touch her skin.

His...ahem....manhood brushed against her as he was leaning in to "checkout something on her chest".

Her new nickname for his is "Doctor Feels a lot".

I freaked but she was cool about it....I guess attractive women are used to guys coming on to them. (Maybe I should rephrase that)

I often wonder how I am going to control myself when an attractive woman has to disrobe for an exam. I hope that I can remain professionally detached?..

I'm a guy and I had a male doctor do the same to me, right before an EKG. At first it freaked me out, but I remembered that he was happily married with kids and a hot wife.

It's was an accident, nothing more. Can't speak for your wife, but she could have been over stating it. A dermatologist is supposed to be examining skin.

 

[Giving My .02]

Thanks thackl

 

[LP1CW]

Giving My .02, are you serious when you say that beautiful women don't want the attention? Perhaps not when they are sick. And I would never do that, but to say that beautiful women are tired of it....you're lying

Women love the attention, let the attention start to fade, let their looks wane, and you'll see that they are the first to get botox. Is the fact that women don't like so much attention the reason why the beauty industry is always growing. Women dress to seduce, perfume, clothes, thongs hanging out of jeans...yeah, sure women don't want attention.

and to say that you don't feel immediately attracted to people, as if that is how women generally feel, is more crap. Women are just as attracted initially as we are. Women watching male strippers are the worse. Women check out men, they just don't do so overtly. And the rationale for why women and men are drawn to each is founded on sound psychological research which has shown that we are drawn to people based on morphological symmetry. The more balanced a person's features are the more attracted we are to them. This operates on an unconscious level, but it feeds our need for survival, we want to breed with healthy people....darwin....

So, pretend you are above base human needs, pretend you are evolved, but your genetics control you just as much as they do men.

Women have always played this role....however, I do think that they can have overriding drives too....like the need to have money...they'll date a pudge boy with a wallet over abs without a job.

 

[dumbest premed]

Originally posted by LP1CW
Giving My .02, are you serious when you say that beautiful women don't want the attention? Perhaps not when they are sick. And I would never do that, but to say that beautiful women are tired of it....you're lying

Women love the attention, let the attention start to fade, let their looks wane, and you'll see that they are the first to get botox. Is the fact that women don't like so much attention the reason why the beauty industry is always growing. Women dress to seduce, perfume, clothes, thongs hanging out of jeans...yeah, sure women don't want attention.

and to say that you don't feel immediately attracted to people, as if that is how women generally feel, is more crap. Women are just as attracted initially as we are. Women watching male strippers are the worse. Women check out men, they just don't do so overtly. And the rationale for why women and men are drawn to each is founded on sound psychological research which has shown that we are drawn to people based on morphological symmetry. The more balanced a person's features are the more attracted we are to them. This operates on an unconscious level, but it feeds our need for survival, we want to breed with healthy people....darwin....

So, pretend you are above base human needs, pretend you are evolved, but your genetics control you just as much as they do men.

Women have always played this role....however, I do think that they can have overriding drives too....like the need to have money...they'll date a pudge boy with a wallet over abs without a job.

 

[stomper627]

LP1CW,
you wouldnt happen to be a Leykis 101 student, would you? We dont get him here in erie....I miss the radio show....
stomper

 

[BerkeleyPremed]

I agree. Tom Leykis speaks the truth. He also tours the country and puts his signatures on girls' boobs.

 

[ForensicPath]

This is kind of related, but the patients I am going to talk about are dead. I worked at a medical examiner's office this past summer and a few of the decedents were attractive females. At first I was unsure if I should be agreeing with the doctor about the deceased's attractiveness, but then I realized it just goes along with the environment of the morgue. (and now people think I'm really weird)

 

[stoic]

Dudes and Dudettes...

I'm sure people out there have more funny stories about feeling akward because of attractive patients. I'll never forget the first time I saw VERY VERY hot/sexy/smokin/attractive girl in the ER. She was my age. Her chief complaint was LBP. And for some reason... without being told to.... she had jumped into the gown only before the Doc and I got to see her. I looked at my shoes a lot during that exam. I'm not even sure who was more embarrased by it... me or the chick. After words the Doc just laughed and laughed and laughed.

 

[mattorama]

I was shadowing a family doc and had sat through countless full physical exams. Most of the patients were older (relative to an early college student) and it was easy to be very professional/relaxed while observing...

So we go into a room and there is a VERY, VERY attractive young lady and her mother. They gave me permission to observe (like most patients), but then I quickly found out she was a senior in HS and was in for her cheerleading physical. It wasn't bad until the doc did a breast exam and was teaching her how to give one to herself. I felt like it was somehow improper for me to observe as I was sitting next to this girl's mother (don't ask me why....I just kept thinking that if I observed as usual the mom would be upset...). I ended up just kind of looking at the ground, but I think I must have been blushing (I am told that my face gives away exactly what I am thinking/feeling). The mom noticed and engaged me in awkward conversation until that part of the exam was over.

 

[Mylaina]

First of all, asking out a patient is something of an ethical violation.

Beastmaster, when the one guy said the derm was checking out her chest, last time I checked I had skin on my chest. Most of us do. He didn't say he was doing a breat exam.

And having been through my first year, it is quite awkward when you have a young patient (esp. because most of them are much older) that is attractive. I remember how I couldn't ask this guy to take off his jeans so we could examine his knee (I was doing the H&Ps with the doc. observing).

While it is quite normal for doctors to notice attractiveness (heck, we are people and we see it all the time), I highly suggest keeping comments to yourself, even if a physician is making remarks. It is quite easy for a patient to overhear something you say, even if you think you're in private.

Also guys, girls notice when you check them out. I've noticed that guys think they're all sly and check girls out when they're not looking or turned away, but we know. And if someone saw an opportunity and you were "making her feel uncomfortable" in a clinical setting, you might get your butt sued...

 

[LP1CW]

sued? Give me a break. Sued for what might have been construed as a look. To be sued, it would have to be overt, a clear violation. It couldn't be based on this strange magical power that women have according to you to "know when a guy is sly and looking and pretending not to look. " I could hear it now. I am suing him because I can tell that he was looking even though he wasn't actually looking, but he's a sly bastard and it's wrong, so wrong, i've been violated. My life is bereft of meaning.

Lets stop the craziness and wacko behavior.

If contact was inappropriate, conversation, etc...then yes that is grounds for something, legal, criminal, but the possibility of a look, a peripheal stealing of a peek....

Women give themselves a bit too much credit. He wants me. He was looking at me. I'm violated. In fact, I dated this girl once and we walked by a guy and he checked out my girlfriend. She turned to me and say, "Are you going to do something." I said, "Do what?"
"Defend me, my honor, my dignity!"
I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her and thought, "Are you for real? Do you think that I should punch him or get punched by him?"

 

[Mylaina]

Sorry, I meant to convey that the doctor was making comments and oogling and whatever other "small" behaviors that seem insignificant.

Not all women give themselves this "credit" you mention... I was pointing out that men sometimes don't realize that checking out turns into a downright stare, and they may not realize that the "second" that they were looking at a patient's x, y, or z was really an awkward amount of time in which the patient was sitting there waiting for them to recover. I've had that happen when a guy gets so absorbed in looking at some part of my body during the conversation that it's annoying and disgusting for him, and if I heard him make a comment later on, I'd be really upset.

Well, considering that in many offices, patients tend to come back over and over, on the first day there is an oogle, the second there is an oogling at her breast or other part of her body during a PE, maybe more of a "caress" then a palpation. Patients can be made to feel uncomfortable and hopefully will first make mention to the physician before deciding to or make some move to "hurt his/her reputation". But if some dr. were oogling at me and when he walked out of the room made some remark like "that chick was hot, she had a great backside" which doctors are human and humans make comments like that I would be very pissed. While we are human and will be aroused or enticed by beauty of flesh, we have to remain appropriate. And maybe your doctor was bringing up the fact that a patient was hot and maybe he noticed that you were looking at her in order to "educate you" in that as time goes on it will become "second nature" and you'll just do your job is a good piece of advice.

Also, patients are coming to us for help, and while this thread may have been started in the appearance of a face or figure, many doc's exams end up revealing the patient's private areas, and I hope that students will learn that it's an embarassing situation to be on a table with some man or woman poking and proding you. And it would be quite embarassing if after being done and walking out the door, walking by the doc's office and hear him make a comment about you. That's totally unprofessional. And depending on the comment (i.e. she was pretty is rather tame, but making a more lewd comment or something specific about her body) is uncalled for, and could breach on sexual harassment. Patient's are coming in for help and are not objects to be enjoyed in a non-scientific sense.

I've heard enough male pre-med and med students claim that ob/gyn is what they want to go into so they can look at ____ <<insert vulger word for vagina here>> all day long. And they mean it.

 

[stomper627]

Thats funny....
Most premed males will soon realize OB/GYN isnt the place for them. I mean most of them probably have limited extent there anyway....wait until they are on rotations and they realize that most women "arent that attractive", overweight, or are coming to you as they "have a problem". Not a pretty sight...and even a much worse smell, I might add. I mean, most women do not look like Britney, or Beyonce.....those boys will grow up and get out fast.
stomper

 

[ForensicPath]

I don't think I could ever be an OB/GYN. I think it would have the potential in making my door swing the other way (if you know what I mean ).

 

[link26]

this upbeat thread makes me laugh. i like it

I know this sounds immature, but if i were an ob/gyn, i'd have my office staff give free bikini waxes to all patients. Maybe that would take some of the nastiness out of the job.... But what do i know

As one dude on tv said... "I like my work space clean"

 

[Newquagmire]

Originally posted by LP1CW
Women love the attention, let the attention start to fade, let their looks wane, and you'll see that they are the first to get botox. Is the fact that women don't like so much attention the reason why the beauty industry is always growing. Women dress to seduce, perfume, clothes, thongs hanging out of jeans...yeah, sure women don't want attention.

and to say that you don't feel immediately attracted to people, as if that is how women generally feel, is more crap. Women are just as attracted initially as we are. Women watching male strippers are the worse. Women check out men, they just don't do so overtly. And the rationale for why women and men are drawn to each is founded on sound psychological research which has shown that we are drawn to people based on morphological symmetry. The more balanced a person's features are the more attracted we are to them. This operates on an unconscious level, but it feeds our need for survival, we want to breed with healthy people....darwin....

So, pretend you are above base human needs, pretend you are evolved, but your genetics control you just as much as they do men.

LP1CW, you're a fool. Either that or you're god's gift to women. NOT at all women enjoy men imagining them naked. Ask your female friends (if you have any) if they like it when a 60 year-old businessman (just so you know it's not all about money either) gives them "the look." Now imagine yourself in a few years when you're 60 and drooling over those young buxom college students...

Another thing, not all women are attracted to men. Your post just struck me as very heterosexist.

 

[Mylaina]

Yes, ob/gyn isn't the prettiest sight. But I think that guys have a porn type notion in their head for when the 18 year old cheerleader comes in. ;-) At least, that's what I've been told, not all guys are like that.

 

[LP1CW]

Newquagmire,

I have read postings that were dumb, but you have amazed me by your lack of insight into human nature. YOu stand in judgement when you are no better.

You call me a heterosexist. You took a class in women studies and now you feel empowered.

What are you? You are an ageist.

Women don't like 60 year old me looking at them? Harrison Ford? Sean Connery? Arguably, you could say that these men are the exceptions, but that's what talking about. We're not talking about the average gal being seen by a doctor. Girls like the attention. Yes, by attractive men, but nevertheless they want it.

You are such an ageist and judgemental person. Your assumption is that 60 year old men are infertile, swollen prostates, perverts...how wrong is that. Many men are quite vital at 60. Many women are too. It's about the mind, the body, your overall well being. How dumb you are to post such a reply and not think it out. You are no better than me my empowered friend.

If I am a fool, you have now joined me. Welcome.

 

[LP1CW]

Newquagmire

follow up. I've asked some of my friends about 60 year old men. I didn't give them your seedy stereotype. I said, if a guy like Mel Gibson, older, were to flirt with you, would you like it? How about guys like Richard Gere, 50s. Sean Connery, 70s? I asked 5 friends and they all said that they would like it. It's not about age. It's about spirit. Yes, my sample was small. Lets call it a pilot study and we'll see if women care about age?

My foolish friend. I will keep you posted.

 

[turkdlit]

LP1, what do celebrities have to do with "women love the attention"? Does it matter if women enjoy being looked at by an aging movie star? How many women do you know were leered at by Sean Connery? I'm sure even he has made a few women uncomfortable. Your argument is kinda, well, nonsensical and silly.

What makes you think you can claim what over 3 billion people out there want? If you were part of a population where 25% of those 3 billion was the victim of sexual violence, would you welcome every stare and cat-call from the most famous actor to a contruction worker? From what I can tell from women I know, sometimes a compliment is welcomed, sometimes it can lead to horrible things. Your posts are a vain attempt to show some omniscious knowledge about women...and all you've shown is that you're ignorant, with poor taste, adn there are probably tons of women out there that would despise your comments.

Jeeze, how did I let myself get into this crap, this board is supposed to focus on us insecure pre-meds...

 

[Mylaina]

There is a HUGE difference between Harrison Ford vs. Old gramps at the beach or mall.

There is also a HUGE difference between say, yourself, and name any of the hot and upcoming actors in hollywood.

Would I want some random dude hitting on me at a bar? Not necessarily. But there is a huge difference between some star, who I can't even tell you the name of, and some old joe schmoe.

Yes, that's biased, but it's the way our society is. Celebrities are a population all their own. There are bragging rights in saying something like "When I was in Cali, Sean connery didn't stop staring at me" versus "when I was at Starbucks, this old guy didn't stop staring at me"

Anyways, your "pilot" study didn't hold any controls-- you are comparing celebrities to celebrities. Show a picture of a older gentleman up next to sean connery and ask a woman who they'd rather be hit on by.

And the older generation is not infertile and dried up at all. But I have the same issue with the older guy that checks me out as the 50 year old, as the 40 year old, as the 18 year old... cause the ones that give the slimey feel to being checked out tend to be married or just gross in what they do.

 

[Mylaina]

For instance, there is a student at my school that whenever a woman is near him, he stares down her shirt (he is tall, so can look right down) or just drools. It's gross. It doesn't matter that he's 23 or however old. It's just gross. I can't believe what he'll do during breast exams.

 

[stoic]

Just for the record, with the way girls dress these days it's pretty hard not to stare sometimes. Tiny tank tops with spaghetti straps, short skirts and shorts, shorts and skirts that are pulled down so low that you can see 4 or 5 inches below the naval. If you're gonna tell me those girls don't want attention, I'm gonna laugh at you.

 

[LP1CW]

daveswafford,

We must accept it. We're wrong. Women don't have thongs hanging out of their jeans because they want to be noticed. It's about comfort and functionality. All those gals in my biochem class with tight jeans and the thongs were dressed like that because it helped them to understand functional groups.

I named celebrities as examples of attractive men because if I had said Dr. Jones at Presbyterian is a good looking older man, most of you wouldn't know him. My point, for those of you who may not have been able to follow my argument, is that attractiveness is not just a characteristic of younger men.

And when it was asserted that it was gross when men that are 60 look at women, I thought that statement was an example of ageism. Am I wrong? Is it a stereotype? Again, the reason for naming celebrities was to give a reference that all of us could recognize.

So, I asked my sister. She knows Dr. Jones and she said he was attractive. She also mentioned a friend's father, a Greek guy that owns a pizza place, he's in his late 50's. She said, "He's really good looking." But if I had mentioned these men most of you wouldn't have know them.

My argument still stands. It is wrong to say that a woman would be insulted by a 60 year old guy, gramps at a mall is friggin wrong to say. When I'm 60, I hope that I'm still strong and in shape.

 

[entpa]

Make sure that you have a CHAPERONE! Some patients, male or female, have very vivid imaginations and perceptions of what happened during their exam.
Incidentally, I had one memorable patient...a pretty blonde lady that happened to work at Hooters! Yes, she was there for her "well-woman" visit. That was 10 yrs ago and I still remember it well...

 

[LP1CW]

anka,
Thanks for the convolution.

 

[LP1CW]

oh, anka my friend, I know that i have the tendency to speak in generalities, but my guess is that you must be fairly unattractive. I'm glad your not wearing shorts. Your classmates are glad. Please sit in the back of the class, leave five minutes before it ends, and avoid social contact.

The reason why people say that they wouldn't wear this or that is because they can't wear it. My guess is that you're grossly deformed and you should probably be wearing a potatoe bag. And in the likely case that you are wearing a potatoe bag, I hope it's large enough to cover most of your body.

I know and you know that this is just a post. But after you log off, be honest with yourself, you're not attractive. And what bothers you about this debate about whether women liked to be looked at or not is because men don't look at you. Unattractive gals are always depressed. You'll write back and say that I'm shallow, I'm a jerk, you hate me. You don't hate me. You hate the world you live in. You hate the fact that you're grossly unattractive in a world wear beauty wins. Yes, someday, you'll be a doctor, you can wax the mustache, buy a nice car, marry an unattractive man, make babies and look content. But you'll always remember being young and ugly. A strong GPA or good MCAT won't make those jeans look any better on your pudgy bottom.

I expect a reply that says that your smarter than me. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm stupid. Blah, blah, but I know I'm not. I'm not saying I'm better. I'm just saying before you go off. Ask yourself why you are reacting. It's like this; if a guy yells out the window at me something about being a fat fool. and I respond, it's because I believe him at some level. But because it's a lie. I keep walking. I don't respond. It doesn't bother me. My guess is: You're responding. You believe it. You know the truth. Have a nice day.

 

[jayvee]

Someone asked if they teach you about this in medschool.

Yes.

They tell you, "believe it or not sometimes a patient will be outrageous looking." And then basically tell you, if you can't control yourself, you're doing yourself and the profession a disservice. Professionalism and Trust are both number 1 in the medicine. Not that anyone is questioning that...

The chaperone thing is a good idea. Most doctors have a chaperone of somekind with all patients of the opposite sex. It helps relax most patients as well to know that professionalism is expected and will be enforced.

 

[stoic]

Wow... this thread got heated quickly

My dress code aside, it is inappropriate and offensive to reduce every woman you come in contact with to the status of a sexual object. Some of those women wearing thongs and tight jeans are smarter than you. They'll make better doctors than you. Belay that -- given the quality of your posts, most if not all of them are smarter than you.

Anna,

It is very hard to think of exposed breast, backsides, and midrifts in a non-sexual light. I think it's pretty much common sense that if a girl wears revealing clothes, she's going to be looked at by men. That's why they're considered revealing clothes. They reveal something people want to look at. That's just the way it works. Deal with it.

You're right that some of women dressed in basically nothing are smarter than me. I never said otherwise. It's a pretty huge assumption on your part that I'd just assume someone was stupid because they dressed in revealing outfits. I actually find it offensive. And as for making better doctors??? That's just silly. Maybe better looking doctors... Give men some credit, just because we think a girl is hot doesn't mean we think she traded her brain for a push-up bra.




My guess is that you're grossly deformed and you should probably be wearing a potatoe bag. And in the likely case that you are wearing a potatoe bag, I hope it's large enough to cover most of your body.


LP1CW,

Give us all a break and cut this crap out. It sounds like a 13 year old wrote this.

 

[LP1CW]

Yeah, you're right. I was being a jerk. I have a tendency to do that but I thought she was a jerk.

 

[Thundrstorm]

All talk of the attractivenss of 60 y/o men aside, the point is that the majority of the female population does not go to the doctor to be oggled. For some women, a trip to the gynecologist is uncomfortable enough without finding themselves in an even more uncomfortable situation -- and yes, that even goes for the cheerleaders. I'd suggest that any doctor in that situation work pretty darn hard to hide any attraction. It's inappopriate and unprofessional -- end of story. This crap about "women want the attention" is hilarious. Sure, lots of women like to know that men find them attractive and under certain circumstances, may even want those men to express their interest -- but when they're naked, vulnerable, and/or concerned about their health? No freakin way.

 

[Mylaina]

daveswafford... While perhaps seeing a family member wearing something revealing in the hospital, I think that you will quickly learn that it is very easy if not necessary to learn how to see breasts/midriffs etc. in a non-sexual light. You are going to see older women with breasts that you probably don't want to imagine your girlfriend or wife or future gf or wife will ever have. You will smell things and see things oozing out of places that just shouldn't be there.

For all of you guys, I hope that when you do your first breast exam on a young woman who is concerned about finding a lump and a bloody discharge from her breast and you have to tell her you think it may be cancerous... I hope you aren't getting aroused from that. It's the same way I don't think I'll even get turned on by seeing a guy's genitalia when doing a testicular or prostate exam.

You may see something that is pretty or beautiful, but my original issue was the fact that the posters couldn't seem to "harness" their feelings and felt the need to talk about it later... which I thought was unacceptable. Aside from the fact that we don't want to be undressed by doctors when we're sick or in need of care.

Also, LP1CW, the issue with your comments regarding the older generation-- you are supposedly talking about attractiveness, and this is apparentally what you are asking people about, however, I am talking about oogling and staring. Two different things. I can appreciate when my professor is an attractive man. Or stars. But I would feel totally weirded if the professor kept looking at my breasts during class... The point isn't that older men aren't attractive, it's that when they look at you (and by that, I don't mean look at you when you're talking to them or facing, I mean that they walk by you and do a 180 to check you out from behind) it's just not cool. Again, I maintain that it's not cool if a 75 year old guy does it or a 25 year old guy. There's some class needed. And my disclaimer-- this isn't all men. I'm just saying that I've seen these types of men, and I would shudder at having them around me at a vulnerable time in the hospital.

 

[stoic]

I should clarify... my comments were meant for a general, non- professional envirnonment. A doctor should never be gazing at a patient, even if he/she finds them physically attractive. But personall, I have trouble keep my eyes off this one scantily clad girl in my biochem class. Maybe that's partially my fault, but it would probably help if she'd put some clothes on.

 

[Mylaina]

Daveswafford... right. I mean, admittedly there are women who dress the way they dress to get men to look at them. We know who they are. I mean, even *I* will look at them because there is so much skin showing. But the point is that not all women dress like that, and sometimes it's not appreciated to be stared at (esp. if wearing "normal" unflashy clothes).

 

[Zweihander]

So, this may be a bit of a digression, but what is it exactly that makes women so uncomfortable about being checked out? Is it this notion of a power imbalance or a potential for physical threat, etc.? I think it's really rare for a guy to be unhappy about a woman checking him out, but the converse seems to be far from true...

-Z

 

[Mylaina]

Zweihander...

That's a good question.

For me personally... take a guy glancing at you, and maybe making eye contact and smiling, right? Typical signs that he might be interested. Similar to what a girl might do-- look over, smile or something like that. Kind of flirting-- can be done in the seconds it takes to walk by someone.

However, there are guys that will stare for quite some period of time. Two things come to mind: the aforementioned guy from my school who will look at a woman's breasts when talking to you, or even just near her. It's just sad to look at him. Or, a guy that passes you on a street or in the store and he turns around and checks you out.

The last guy situation has happened to me a number of times...when I'm with my fiancee holding hands with him. Which is weird. He (my fiancee) has made comments about it. I've never been "overly sexily" dressed when I've noticed it happen. (I've been living in the library for so long, I forget what it's like to dress up nice and go out). So that's just weird.

I think it's the length of time a guy looks (an appreciative glance, not so weird, 10-20 seconds of looking-- kind of weird) and also the amount of movement the guy uses to look at you (when his whole body turns around as you pass him, that's just odd). Especially when you're obviously taken.

Think about how long you typically make eye contact with someone. Even if you are in conversation with them, eye contact for more than 5-10 seconds can be kind of unnerving.

Does that make sense?

 

[Giving My .02]

Originally posted by Zweihander
So, this may be a bit of a digression, but what is it exactly that makes women so uncomfortable about being checked out? Is it this notion of a power imbalance or a potential for physical threat, etc.? I think it's really rare for a guy to be unhappy about a woman checking him out, but the converse seems to be far from true...

-Z

Especially when there is a ring on the finger, I feel it is inappropriate for someone to check you out. Even in our single parent home society, I feel when a woman or a man is wearing their ring, it is a symbol & when someone still checks someone out dispite the obvious "not available" it is a sign of disrespect to them and their pledged dedication to someone else.

 

[CrazyCozak]

Originally posted by Thundrstorm
All talk of the attractivenss of 60 y/o men aside, the point is that the majority of the female population does not go to the doctor to be oggled. For some women, a trip to the gynecologist is uncomfortable enough without finding themselves in an even more uncomfortable situation -- and yes, that even goes for the cheerleaders. I'd suggest that any doctor in that situation work pretty darn hard to hide any attraction. It's inappopriate and unprofessional -- end of story. This crap about "women want the attention" is hilarious. Sure, lots of women like to know that men find them attractive and under certain circumstances, may even want those men to express their interest -- but when they're naked, vulnerable, and/or concerned about their health? No freakin way.

To agree with Thunderstorm, yes, most women find other places than doctors' offices (i.e. bars, clubs) to be oggled at. Yes, women may be attractive... but.. being oggled by a doctor is the last thing on their minds, since they are afraid what doctor MAY find while doing a breast exam.

 

[turkdlit]

Women should be able to wear whatever they want, without fear of being harrassed, be it leering or cat-calls whatever. Its their bodies, they can do what they want, its no body else's f*cking business! Everyone is so critical about, "well, if biochem girl was weraing revealing clothing, then I would look..." Whatever doode, look at a scantily dressed gal, thats not a huge deal as long as theres some tact behind it. However, whether you're a doctor seeing a patient or a blue collar construction guy, its just not fair to make someone UNCOMFORTABLE in any way...

Jeeze, go pick up a porno or something. Plus there's this thing called the internet thats all the rage these days...maybe all tge frustrated biochem students might find some porn there.

It seems that most of the posters on this thread are men. And as men, it seems that we have the LEAST insight on why a woman would want to wear revealing clothing...maybe its for attention, maybe its to feel good about themselves, maybe its a designer outfit that was on sale. Who are we judge? And in the end, who cares? Let people wear what they want, live and let live!