How Would You Handle This

[stoic]

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yea, because i check out the nearly naked biochem girl, i'm a pervert who needs to get some porn. jeez.

look, guys don't know when we're looking at a girl and she knows it and is uncomfortable. if the girl was checking us out, we would be like "hell yea." so why don't more girls speak up and say "hey stop looking at me." i've been caught checking girls out... but no one has ever let me know that it bothered them... and really, they should, because i'm not trying to make anyone uncomfortable.

and just to state it once again, i don't think anyone on this board would promote Dr.'s acting sexually towards patients.

 

[farrago]

Originally posted by Zweihander
So, this may be a bit of a digression, but what is it exactly that makes women so uncomfortable about being checked out? Is it this notion of a power imbalance or a potential for physical threat, etc.? I think it's really rare for a guy to be unhappy about a woman checking him out, but the converse seems to be far from true...

-Z

Unsolicited attention can be uncomfortable, no matter what its object is. In fact, I think that it's not the semi-sexual nature of the attention, but the attention itself, that is so unwelcome. Some people are particularly private individuals, and this can be an unforgivale invasion of private territory. (Men might be more forgiving of this becuase they're usually on the receiving end of the more tactful kind of staring, and perhaps there are biological differences that make men overlook some of the details of the encounter, while the women ruminate on the minutiae.)

Then we have the misperception (occasionally delusion) behind the attention: the man in question actually thinking that he could possibly associate with the woman, and the woman not wanting to be associated with him in any way, shape, or form. It's like being accosted by some ******ed, ugly, obnoxious child in school, and being seen talking to him by the popular people. Guilt by association. It causes anger.

As far as feeling physically threatened by such attention - it might be a valid concern in certain situations, in others, it might be a laughable one. I think that most men who engage in questionable "checking-out" simply are simple-minded, not dangerous. Some might argue that it doesn't matter; after all, any man could turn into a monster, rape you, kill you, and dump you into a river. But, hey, if that doesn't matter, then neither do millions of other things that make life livable.

It's also clear that some women out there are totally nuts, and would like to round up all the men and shoot them off into outer space. People are complex, even in their stupidity. If a large segment of a population wants something, then perhaps the reasons behind this are beyond anyone's control. People often are guilty of either giving someone too much credit, or not giving enough: a case of reading too much into uncontrollable biological reactions, or dismissing as simple biology behaviors behind which there is an actual thinking, feeling human being. Either way, misunderstandings and distasteful generalizations result.

It's important to realize that everything is a two-way street. If you want to behave as if you were living in a bubble (I'll leave 60% of my gorgeous body exposed, and no one better look at it), then you have to allow others to do the same (the horny guy wants to live in the bubble with you).

 

[Mylaina]

daveswafford...

Granted, it hasn't been said that someone would "put the moves" on a patient (actually, someone said something about dating patients), the thread started because a doctor and med student were talking about how hot the patient was. Which I think it unprofessional. I mean, yes, guys are guys and girls are girls, and we both appreciate attractiveness, but the point of my original posts were that 1. doctors should be respectful of their patients when they are working with them and 2. that respect extends out of the little room and you shouldn't be talking about them. Yes, most people on here aren't saying they would do that, which is great, but the few that did were incitement.

As for the other posters who were shadowing doctors, I know I can't "fault" their response of being uncomfortable (I felt uncomfortable watching my first pelvic and breast exam), and when you are in the hospital or office and seeing those areas, you won't associate it with sex most of the time-- I think this comes with time and practice.

 

[Zweihander]

Okay, so here's an example, and I'm wondering if anyone has ever experienced this sort of thing: I'm friends with this gal who, being reasonably attractive, gets a lot of attention. Generally speaking, she either gets very offended or very critical when someone checks her out or hits on her, unless she happens to be interested in them. And I'm not talking about "Hey b&^%, nice hooters!" or anything like that, just normally guy approaching girl kind of thing. Is this a normal part of the mentality? Does a guy actually have to be interesting to the girl in order to check her out without being offensive? Or, to put it another way, can do guys engaging in the exact same behaviour range from creepy to cute depending on how much the girl likes them? If so, that seems like a pretty bad double-standard there...

(and obviously, I'm not referring here to professional situations).

-Z

 

[rjmst]

ay yo i think the chicks who post on this board should put up naked pics so we can see what all the fuss is about

ps ******* ckent and jaimer2

that's my word

 

[supersunny]

Originally posted by rjmst
ay yo i think the chicks who post on this board should put up naked pics so we can see what all the fuss is about

ps ******* ckent and jaimer2

that's my word

are you trying to get banned?

 

[NotShorty]

I shadowed a few docs in the ER for 3 night shifts.

I saw two penises, but no desireable females.🙁

 

[stomper627]

Not to offend the whole "A woman can wear whatever she wants....." crowd, but I think those of you who have been involved with the professional world for some time realize this is not the case....just as though a man cannot go in shorts and Ts in the professional world.
As an MSIII who has recently began rotations, I can assure you that a few female students are still dressing as though they are going to class everyday....NOT as though they are seeing patients in a professional setting. I mean for guys its easy....you wear a shirt and tie, or you are in scrubs....very simple.
For women, not so....other than the scrubs. Do not think that you can wear whatever you want and it wont have an effect on how you are perceived by others....men and women, doctors and nurses, other students and patients.
Im not saying you need to be in suit/pants all the time, and Im not saying you cant wear something "fun" now and then. Its an everyday occurance when it becomes a problem, and I will bet you will not receive aknowledgement for your intellect....as much as your other features.
stomper

 

[rjmst]

Originally posted by t733nu5
are you trying to get banned?

grow up loser.

 

[pboothe]

Just get married, then the point is moot!!!!!😛

 

[ZanMD]

I agree that professionalism is critical when seeing patients. Ogling "Hot" patients is no better the the sexual abuse perpetrated by catholic priests. Do no use your position of authority as a dating angle, or you will get slapped with lawsuits. That being said...

I completely disagree with the notion of the way women dress and being ogled. Outside of a professional setting, it's fair game.
Let's address this issue, as it is a pertinent, relevant one. Women dress provacatively to gain attention. They generally do this in order to raise thier self esteem. While there is nothing wrong with this, they must accept the pitfalls that come along with that. Namely the BAD attention that comes along with the good attention. Yes, that hot senior steve is giving you the eye, but so is drew the math geek.

Women, you must accept responsibility for your actions. If you dress provacatively, we are going to stare- accept it, because you have no choice. Even women will stare at you, much like they stare at a train wreck. If you don't like the attention, then you will have to dress more conservatively. There isn't a filter for cute guys that says only the one you like can stare at you. It's public domain. So if you don't want the computer geek checking out your butt, don't wear the daisy dukes. Don't whine about rudeness or not being polite. If I walk around with a dildo strapped to my forehead, everyone will stare. And if you walk around with the no bra, and shorts I can floss with, then you are going to get stared at. Does that make any type of physical contact legal? No. But you can't sue someone for staring at you when you are in public.

To quote an example, If I drove my bmw to the worst nieghborhood in the city, got out for a slurpee, and left the keys in the ignition with the car running, would the car be there when I got back? It's doubtful. Possible, but not likely. (yes I'm paraphrasing here) So if I leave my BMW in the worst possible neighborhood, with the car running and the doors unlocked, I'm asking for it to get stolen. And if you expose parts of your body that are not socially accepted, we will stare, period. The world does not revolve around you ladies, so deal with. I challege ANY woman to dispute this with me.

 

[thackl]

Originally posted by ZanMD
[B Ogling "Hot" patients is no better the the sexual abuse perpetrated by catholic priests.[/B]

You're kidding, right😕 OK, I thought so. Be sure to use the appropriate smilies from now on😉

 

[ZanMD]

Originally posted by thackl
You're kidding, right😕 OK, I thought so. Be sure to use the appropriate smilies from now on😉

let me rephrase to mean sexually harassing instead of oggling. Oggling is fine-physical contact, or using it as a dating pool is not

 

[turkdlit]

"The world does not revolve around you ladies, so deal with"

You argue that women who dress scantily will invariably stared at by everyone, men and women, its like a train wreck...so presumably you're saying that the world DOES revolve those with stringy shorts, but contradict that the statement above. So which one is it, does does the world revolve around an attractive woman in a thong or not?

"If I walk around with a dildo strapped to my forehead"

Wake up dildo-head. Your "women should dress conservatively or suffer the potential consequences" theory is stuck in the 50's. This is just a horrible analogy...take a look at high school girls who today, dress more provocatively than before. If all of them did this, your conformist attitude would deem it OK. Your entire argument is based on societal norms. Whats the worst if someone sees you with a dildo on your head? They point and laugh. The worst when an unwholsome man is staring at a woman? Potentially, Much worse.

"So if I leave my BMW in the worst possible neighborhood, with the car running and the doors unlocked, I'm asking for it to get stolen."

No, you're not asking for it to get stolen. To do that, you would have to hand someone the keys and ask them to steal it. Just because you increase the probability of an event (i.e. stolen car or staring at attractive woman), doesn't mean you're asking or desiring it to happen. There can be plenty of motives behind dressing with less, such as FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Don't you think its great when a woman (or man) can get satisfaction by admiring themselves in the mirror? Thats called healthy and positive thinking my friend.

"you can't sue someone for staring at you when you are in public"

What about harrassing cat-calls, or the occasional grab? Yeah, definately can sue for that. How about the time my twin sister was walking down the street wearing shorts and a man passing said "Let me stick it in f*ck*ng c*nt b*tch". Yeah, she totally deserved it, how dare she show skin?! I'd hate to see what would have happened if she actually did dress provocatively. She should totally move to Saudi Arabia or something, you know, be all accepted by society and stuff.

"we are going to stare- accept it, because you have no choice. "

I am going to rape you...you have no choice, therefore you must accept it. Hmmm...how about another example. We are going to invade your country, make oil cheap for ourselves, and kill over 3,000 innocent civilians and 300 US soldiers in the process. You have no choice, accept it. I think you've got what it takes to be the next Dubya ZanMD!

Damn, I'm not a woman, but you've just been disputed I think.

 

[Goofyone]

Originally posted by turkdlit
"So if I leave my BMW in the worst possible neighborhood, with the car running and the doors unlocked, I'm asking for it to get stolen."

No, you're not asking for it to get stolen. To do that, you would have to hand someone the keys and ask them to steal it. Just because you increase the probability of an event (i.e. stolen car or staring at attractive woman), doesn't mean you're asking or desiring it to happen.

In the words of the late great Gunnery Sargeant Hartman, "If there's one thing I hate in this world, it's an unlocked footlocker. If it weren't for dinguses like you, there'd be no thievery in this world, would there Private Pyle?!"