I don't want to be a doctor

[Rbrav]

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[uhhuh]

Sorry to hear that you're not having fun, but finding out first year is way better than finding out 4th year or in residency.

You might want to give this some time. If in the end, you don't want to be a physician then get out. I was also miserable during 1st year. I felt like the material we were learning was mindless requrgitation of irrelevant facts without any bit of crtical thinking. I also found myself annoyed at most of classmates. I really started to question if I was in the right place. I definately sucks to wake up every morning feelling like you're about to waste another day memorizing crap. Around the middle of the semester we spent a week out in the community working under a local doc. Getting out there and interacting with patients reminded me of my earlier clinical work and why I had chosen to go to med school. I had to realize that life in medical school and working as a physician are two entirely different things. I should also say that things have gotten a lot more relevant this year (my 2nd) and I've just learned to stay away from the classmates that I find annoying.

I guess I would ask why you applied to medical school other than the reasons you losted. If those are the sole reasons (fam members as physicians, nothing better to do, etc) then you might be in the wrong place. Did you do any clinical work before school?

 

[Rbrav]

I guess I would ask why you applied to medical school other than the reasons you losted. If those are the sole reasons (fam members as physicians, nothing better to do, etc) then you might be in the wrong place.

The only other real reason is financial/job security, which I admit is a horrible reason. It's not necessarily a reason I applied, but I can see it as a reason to go on (though it doesn't spur me on, per se).

Did you do any clinical work before school?

I did a fair amount of shadowing, and I volunteered in an ER over the summer. None of it was mind-numblingly horrible, but I was relatively bored/uninterested most of the time.

 

[doc05]

the bottom line is that first year sucks. it will get better in 2nd year. 3rd year is in some ways better and in many ways worse. but if you don't want to be a doctor, why bother? there's a lot more exciting ways to spend your 20s than in a library or hospital. good luck.

 

[stormjen]

For me personally, M1 was the absolute worst, and during it I was simply not human anymore . . . I remember it like a dream (nightmare). M2 year was much better but still painful because of all the studying. M3 was better for me because even though I had to get up early, work long days and take call, there wasn't as much studying or crazy memorization. Plus Step 1 was over. I'm an M4 now, and it is a vacation.

Some people think the M3 year is bad, but I found it kind of enjoyable, in a sick way. So if you're like me, it really will get better. However, you may never decide that being a doctor is for you. I'm like you in that I think I did this to impress people, not because I actually want to be a doctor. But it's a stable and well-paying career, so I'm sticking it out. What I'm going to do is go into a field where I make a good living yet have plenty of free time. That way I can go to work then leave and do the things I actually enjoy, like reading and travelling.

best of luck to you,
Stormjen

 

[gschl1234]

Hey there. I'm also a first year and majored in chemistry as an undergrad (wanted to be a chemistry professor). I wasn't a pre-med though, and didn't even consider applying to med school untill I started grad school and discovered that I needed to be in a career where I had more interaction with people. I'm sorry to hear that you're so upset. I understand your feelings about the subjects. The style of studying you have to do is very different from studying for chemistry, physics or math. Maybe you should speak with your dean. I'm sure they have helped other students who are in your perdicament. They may be able to come up with a plan that can cut your course-load. I don't know how flexible your school is. I don't know what courses you're taking first semester but at my school, we're taking Gross and Micro (histoloty) Anatomy and Neurobiolgoy. We'll be taking Biochem, Physiology and Immunology second semester. I'm really looking forward to 2nd semester because I think these subjects are more conceptual and more up my alley. Since you were also a chem major, you probably would like those subjects better as well. It's less memorization than the anatomy classes and at the same time, give you more to think about which is always interesting. Since so many of your family members are doctors, maybe you could speak with them about your feelings. Even though you've shadowed a lot of docs, maybe you haven't shadowed someone in the right specialty. One of the reasons I decided on medicine was the flexibility in career choice after graduation. There are so many specialties and subspecialties that there's probably something for every personality. Good luck and hang in there, although if you continue to be completely miserable, don't be afraid to make changes to your life plan. I did and I'm pretty happy about it.

 

[Wednesday]

Rbrav,

Wow, I'm sorry that you're so miserable. I would say that med school in general is a pretty miserable experience that often makes people question why they are putting themselves through it. I imagine that the feeling is really compounded if you are already doubting your comittment to medicine in the first place.

The problem that you now face is that making a very important decision in the midst of your first month of med school is a tricky situation. It's hard to separate the immediate unhappiness from your real feelings about the future. For me it's the glimpses of my future--actually talking to a patient or figuring something out about them before the resident or attending does--that keeps me trudging through. I like that stuff and think that I will really enjoy practicing medicine. I think that is the case for most of my classmates. If I didn't have that, I honestly don't think I could have finished 2nd year or the two months I have completed of 3rd year. And then I look at the interns and residents and imagine that they are also holding on to that end result to get through their present situation. Contrary to what a lot of people say, it does get worse before it gets better.

I'm not trying to make you feel worse. Just suggesting that you find some way to get perspective before you make a rash decision. Is there a way to take some time off this year and start again with the next class if you decide to continue in med school? Talking with a counselor at your school is a great idea. They have met many students who have the same questions that you have. Getting advice from your family might not be the best way to go since they seem to have pretty strong feelings in one direction. It sounds like maybe listening to them too much is what got you into this situation in the first place. Taking time off and "floundering" for a year is not the end of the world. Maybe you'll find out that you don't necessarily have to be a doctor in order to be successful (plenty of people are) or maybe you'll really miss it and come back with a fresh perspective.

There is another poster here who stopped during her first year and just restarted fresh this year. I think it's care bear. You might want to PM her.

Good luck with everything.

 

[elin]

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You don't necessarily have to be a doctor after you graduate. There are other career paths that you can take with an MD. What kind of writing interests you? If you are interested in fiction, than maybe you can set aside some of your free time to write. You don't necessarily need a degree to become a writer or an editor even though having an MFA is becoming more common. There are also opportunities for doing medical or scientific journalism, and there are some doctors that balance the two rather successfully.

 

[moo]

I majored in math and physics in undergrad so I can kinda relate. I didn't like first year to be honest. It's boring. I just don't see how anyone can find anatomy interesting. Second year gets better. And now, in my third year, I think I'm glad I stuck it out. Things don't get easier, they get harder, but they're also more fun. I work my ass off third year, but I think it's worth it. Stick it out and ignore the gunners in your class.

 

[UTHoustonAggie]

Hey Rbrav. I'm about to start my third week of first year and I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. I wasn't a chemistry major in undergrad (psychology), but I'm definately having the same questions, concerns, and uncertainties that you are.

During the first week of classes I was really freaking out about a lot and was ready to quit right then. I have spent some time talking to my family and some good friends that aren't in med school to gain some perspective. Although I'm still uncertain of my path, I feel better about things.

Last week I went and talked to one of the counselors out our school. If you have the opportunity to do this I would highly recommend it. I'm going to spend the next few weeks doing some serious introspection and hopefully come up with the right decision. I am fairly certain at this point that medicine is not what I want to do with my life, but I know that there are other options out there, as I'm sure there are for you. It sounds pretty cheesy but you just have to follow your heart. If you're not into this, why waste the next 8+ years following something that makes your miserable.

Whatever the outcome, I hope for the best for you. Rest assured that many other first years are having the same uncertainties that we are and the world is not going to end if you decide to withdraw or take time off from med school. Good luck in all your endeavers.

 

[daisygirl]

Rbrav-

First year sucks- period. Second year sucks too, but it isn't as bad as first year (IMHO). Studying for step one sucks too, but not nearly as bad as taking step one. As you can see, there are lots of things that suck in medical school. Studying until your head feels like it is going to split open is not exactly fun. I could go on and on about all of the other things that I didn't like during my first two years, but I'm not since I'm too lazy right now .

I'm a newly minted MSIII, and I've only been in surgery for a week, but I can tell you that I love it. I love surgery so much that it is mind-boggling for me since I never expected to enjoy surgery so much. I can honestly say that this is the first time in a very long time that I have enjoyed medical school, and I feel that I've had an 'awakening' since I was so miserable by the end of my two years (particulary during studying for step one). I finally feel that I have once again realized why I wanted to be in med school in the first place. Third year is not easier- it is really hard. I have no time to study and I'm averaging 4 1/2 hours of sleep during the week since surgery is a very demanding clerkship (and I haven't been able to study at all yet ).

My best advice to you is that you need to acclimate yourself to med school before making any sort of hasty decisions as to whether medicine is the wrong career for you. You've only been in med school for three weeks, and that is not enough time (IMHO) to know if you've made a mistake by entering med school. You should give yourself at least until December or January before making any major decisions. Give it some time- it is not unusal for people to take ~6 months (or even a year) in order to become acclimated to med school. Also, it is very easy during the first two years to forget why the hell you went to med school to begin with (I know since I've been there). It took me ~6 months to adjust to being a med student.

Good luck, and don't fret. Also, make sure that you speak to a dean/academic advisor/etc... at your school if you cannot seem to shake off your doubts about med school. They will help you and they truly are your greatest resource since you are far from the only student (at your school as well as others) who has doubted their decision of becoming a physician.

P.S. I have sworn that I was going to leave med school at least 50 times during my first two years. I'm still a med student though, and I'm glad that I stuck it out. I honestly cannot imagine doing anything else with my life that would come close to the satisfaction of being a practicing physician. Unfortunately, the first two years of school don't really give you a taste as to what being a physician is like. You'll get a better idea of this during third year.

 

[njbmd]

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi there,

If you have not already done so, schedule an appointment with your Dean of Students and have a discussion. Your dean may have some practical solutions that might make your medical school experience more bearable and put some of your issues into perspective. Before you quit after one year or before, get as many perspectives as you can. You have invested thousands of dollars in your education at this point and you don't want to burn any bridges behind you.

Your perspective about medicine may change in the future and you may want to have the option of returning to medical school.

Good luck on this very difficult decision and remember that you can't to medicine for anyone except yourself. If it is truly not your calling, go onto to whatever makes you happiest.

njbmd

 

[KidDr]

Rbrav,
So sorry to hear that med school is so tough on you. Like everyone else here, I'll just echo that med school sucks for various reasons at various times throughout the 4 years (and please, no one come after me listing all the merits of med school--I know that some parts of med school are great, I've been there). And, to top it off, residency sucks in many ways too. And this is, I think, THE major reason why medical education, in general, can be so hard--because you have to wade through 7+ years to get where you REALLY want to be. And life on the "other" side can be great--I have many friends who've finally arrived on this other side, and from what they've told me, it definitely has its own challenges, but at the very least, you finally get to choose what your life is going to be like (in most specialities, at least). Don't want to work 80+ hours a week? You don't have to. Don't want to work at a certain hospital? Don't have to. And so on.
Only you can decide if you can put up with this for 7+ years, without knowing what the 7 years will actually be like. But I would give it a little more time. The first month of med school probably isn't the best time to be making major decisions.
Best of luck to you.

 

[cardiotonic]

Rbrav, sometimes when people are depressed they perceive reality differently than when they are not depressed. It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on things, but if I were you, I would step back from situations that are stressing you out and try to relax and enjoy life. Then make a decision. Maybe instead of trying to do the best you can in the classroom, maybe you should do what you have to, to get by. Also, in addition to your parents, talk to other people that are close to you and see what they say. Hope everything works out for you!

 

[coolness]

hey Rbrav,

Don't give up, unless you feel that you really don't want to become a doctor! I think most of us, including myself, are going through what you're going through as an MSI. It's so tough, with the tremendous amount of materials that we have to memorize, understand, and organize. And for students that are far away from home, loved ones, and friends, it's even tougher because you're in unfamilar surroundings, which can make you feel lonely. I think to make things more fun, study with a few close friends in class after class and on the weekends. Stay in contact with your family and friends on a daily basis, if you can. Join the various clubs and organizations on campus so you can have a diversified life. The main thing is if you are happy and healthy (mentally and physically), you will do much better. Hey, the first week of medical school, I was home-sick, lonely, sad, depressed, etc... But I'm still here. I don't pay too much attention to the gunners and those that panick. I do my own thing. You have to feel confident in yourself. You made it here. The other people in your class are not better than you. You deserve to be here. Just learn as much as you can and know that you will not know everything.

 

[mdstudent2004]

I would agree with the poster that said to give it time. You also have to accept the fact that you can't go out all the time...or you WILL feel guilty. First year is the hardest.

The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself.

This is key!! If you don't know what else to do as a career, then you're at least not preventing yourself from going forward in another field, so "toughing it out" in med school may not be the worst thing in the world. If after the first semester you find that you've failed all of your classes, well, then it is time to re-think. But in the meantime, I would try to tough it out for a couple of more months before you make a rash decision and quit.

Short of losing money, you're not losing time in another career since you don't know what to do. You are losing out on parties and socializing for the next couple of years (easier said than done), but it's still not the worst thing in the world).

After you get an MD, you don't have to practice. You can go into other fields that require an MD and still use your degree. Anyways, I would give it some more time. Remember that the first year won't be fun, but it is do-able: (it will consist of a lot of staying in on weeknights and reading for tomorrow's lectures; staying in on weekend afternoons reading; and only occasionally going out). Hang in there.

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[DaveinDallas]

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

What school are you in? Tell them you've got this older non-trad ready, willing and able to take your place to relieve their fears of an open seat. I'll give you my phone number so they can contact me.

Seriously, talk to the dean. You may want to consider dropping by your local community college and taking an aptitude test. Don't let others and/or your desire to please them keep you from doing what you want. If medicine isn't it, bail now. Don't build a career and then be miserable for the next 20 years only to have to retrain at age 40+. Trust me, this is experience talking. Life is way to short to be miserable. You'll spend at least 8 hours a day at work, so you may as well enjoy it. I was like you with technology. I was good at it, but I wasn't the kind to take it home with me and was monumentally disinterested in it. I did it because it was a good living, but towards the end had to be forced to go to work.

Medicine however is like playtime for me. When I was studying for the MCAT, on some of those long nights I wondered if it was really worth it. Then I'd shadow an FP for a day. I noticed that when I was in the clininc, I was like a kid in the candy store and time went by way too fast. Every time I'm in a clinical setting it's like that. Teach me what I need to know, cut me loose, let me start seeing patients and get out of my way......


I feel for you. It may be an adjustment thing, give it a semester or two, but do the aptitude thing at least once, now and then about 4 months from now.
You have to happy in what you do.

 

[Taurus]

If you really get sick of med school, you should take a year off before calling it quits completely. It may open your eyes to what the real world is like.

 

[banner]

Rbrav,

Maybe you should reread your original post. You said it yourself, you don't want to be a doctor.

It's time to face the truth. You'll be happier in the long run. Follow your bliss, and not your family's.

The medical training process isn't going to get easier, and the sooner you leave the better. Otherwise, you'll start saying, I've put so much time into this, I'll feel guilty for leaving.

You won't be the first to have make a mistake and gone into a career for the wrong reasons. Learn and grow from the experience.

And by the way, your parents will survive when you tell them the "bad news". And, with you calling them crying every night do you think they'll really be suprised?

Good luck.

 

[daisyage]

i agree with you banner.
Rbrav,
talk to other people, counselors, dean, etc. but in the end, you have to listen to yourself. taking some time off will let you know if you miss it, or if you think you are missing out on something that other people want. there is no shame in changing your mind about what you want to do and where you want to be. but you owe it to yourself to make up your own mind and please yourself first. good luck.

 

[cheesypoofs]

I loved my first two weeks and worked my a$$ of to get in to get into med school. i have my bachelor's and master's and I dropped out, resigned and am under therapy, i have no idea what i want to do with my life. but i know everything happens for a reason. and i was doing well in school, kept up did well, never got behind until literally i had a panic attack, i know before this i thought that was just mental weakness. but seriously i could not breath, i had major chest pain, etc. I still don't know if I did the right thing and who knows i might re-apply but i won't unless i'm 100% sure. I don't know if this helps or not. good luck.




QUOTE=Rbrav]I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE]

 

[Lebesgue]

Ok, reality check...

1. Quit crying! You're in medical school, not Iraq. No one is shooting at you and your friends aren't getting blown away, so let's have a little perspective. (Also, let's all use the opportunities those fine soldiers are affording us. )

2. You obviously had enough motivation to be a physician to hammer out undergrad, take the MCAT, apply, interview, and get in to med school. Don't discount that.

3. You can do pretty much anything you want to with an MD, even write and edit... and have excellent job security. So ignore all the "quit if you'll be happier" lines, just cause it's difficult right now. Fact: First year blows, and second year is better. Someone else can tell you about 3rd year and beyond. Also, quitting is weak, not enlightened; if you regret doing something, you didn't think hard enough about it beforehand. Have the discipline to follow through.

4. If you quit med school, chances are you'll probably quit other things in life that seem difficult. You could get into some writing job that makes med school look like a walk in the park, and regret it later. Also, you can't be a quitter and an "overachiever", so just don't quit. If you're struggling harder than you ever have, that's a good thing, and you can learn something about yourself that you couldn't otherwise. Keep at it! If something isn't difficult to attain, chances are it isn't worth much.

5. It's way too early in the game to know if you really like medicine. Heck, I don't really know what it's all about, but I sure want to see for myself. I think you should stick it out, since you asked all of us... Remember, it gets better!

6. Take it one day and one test at a time... Apply yourself like you know how, insulate yourself from the stressful ones and unmotivated ones in your class, and do well. Make some good friends and enjoy your freedom. Before you know it, the second year will be upon you, and the next, and the next.

7. Chances are you're young. So, even if you get all the way through with the next four years, and hate it, at least you'll have an MD on your resume that will open the doors to pretty much any job you want. You can easily start over on a new career path at 25; I started med school at 32.

8. Go forth and do well in med school. Do not quit or take a year to "get to know yourself" or something... The best decisions in life are often the hardest; it would probably easier to quit med school, which should be a red flag not to do it. Stay with it!!!

Best of luck to you!

 

[omarsaleh66]

If u dont know what else to do, Just hang in there and get the degree. Im sure even if u dont want to be a doctor later on, it can help u get something later...

U dont wanna drop out and then change ur mind that "u want to stay in med school" and waste a year to be an M1 again. That would be even more depressing. The first semester sucks cuz u take anatomy. Second semester gets alot better.

Im in second year right now, and its more material, but its alot easier becuase it's clinical and there are awesome resources available to master the material, so u dont need textbooks.. and there are no labs.

Just hang in there. Take the following shortcuts if u want to make life easier. Skip anatomy lab if u can, All u really need is the Rohen atlas, or go to lab when all the dissections are finished and learn it, or get ur teacher to meet u and go over a section of the anatomy once a week to learn the important stuff... ok, just standing there for hours dissecting is a total waste of time. If u must attend lab, then just stand there, let someone in ur tank dissect so u can memorize Netters (the nerves and crap) the whole time, LAB is not a social time to hang out, if u MUST be there, get some work done so u can chill when ur out of school.

- Here's another tip, dont try to master anatomy (its low yield) just pass, and ace ur other easier classes. This will save u alot of headache and anxiety.

- Dont waste hours reading anatomy textbooks, get some good review books man and ull be learning the most important facts so here's another way to cut down on study time and reduce anxiety.

- The questions are coming from the lectures so thats all u gotta know - stop reading all those books!!!

If u do these things, school is alot easier.. alot less stressful and so u can chill a little more during med school and after ur exams go home and take off a week or someting If u are using the block system where u take all the tests every 5 weeks or so. If u dont do this, then i dont know, just have fun after exams for awhile and then get back into the grind.


-Its very easy to want to give up , but before u do, think of what else u can be doing right now, if u have soemhting to do then i guess u can quit, but if u dont then just hang in there, even if u dont wanna be a doctor - u are gaining knowledge that very few people have the privilege or chance to do, so its definetely not a waste of time.

LAter
Omar

 

[thackl]

Just hang in there. Take the following shortcuts if u want to make life easier. Skip anatomy lab if u can, All u really need is the Rohen atlas, or go to lab when all the dissections are finished and learn it, or get ur teacher to meet u and go over a section of the anatomy once a week to learn the important stuff... ok, just standing there for hours dissecting is a total waste of time. If u must attend lab, then just stand there, let someone in ur tank dissect so u can memorize Netters (the nerves and crap) the whole time, LAB is not a social time to hang out, if u MUST be there, get some work done so u can chill when ur out of school.

- Here's another tip, dont try to master anatomy (its low yield) just pass, and ace ur other easier classes. This will save u alot of headache and anxiety.

HA! I've heard some stories about your class and 'anatomy social hour'. I wouldn't have gone either. Our class is quite a bit more focused and we work nearly the whole time. It's ended up being the learning expirience it's supposed to be. Omar's advice is good (I call him all the time for it), but the bottom line is to do what works and don't waste your time with what doesn't. When a lecture sucks, pull out a book and do something productive. When your classmates are burning 2hrs over a long lunch/break, do some studying. Save wasteful time for things you really want to do, because is is so important to have ballance. Right now, I go to almost all classes (and pay attention if they are good), play b-ball and work out. Plus I have family (2 kids) and a wife that works weekends. There must be time, because I am caught up getting plent of family time and R&R. Just use time effectively.

 

[babyruth]

Did you get your first choice school? Did you look at other schools to see what best fit your personality?

Just asking because the environment around can influence and exacerbate your feelings right now. I interivewed at a lot of schools and one of my top priorties was picking a place that had a good environment for me. My school has a really supportive culture where we are all in it together and are willing to help each other out.

I agree with others, go and see your school counselor--your story is not unique and they have helped with situations like yours countless times.

 

[paranitroxide]

Rbarv

Before you quit I would advice you to take some time and ask yourself the following questions

If I was happy with everything in my life except medical school would I still quit?

Is it possible for me to find a career that I like and that will satisfy my need to over achieve and that will make me happy financially? Or is my quitting just an excuse for my unhappiness?

Have I been depressed for a long time? or is medical school the sole reason of my depression?

Basically, do not allow depression to be the reason to quit medical school? Go see a physician, maybe take some medication, and see what happens.

If you considered yourself to be a happy individual before medical school, disreguard my post.

 

[Hoo\/er]

Rbrav,

Maybe you should reread your original post. You said it yourself, you don't want to be a doctor.

It's time to face the truth. You'll be happier in the long run. Follow your bliss, and not your family's.

The medical training process isn't going to get easier, and the sooner you leave the better. Otherwise, you'll start saying, I've put so much time into this, I'll feel guilty for leaving.

You won't be the first to have make a mistake and gone into a career for the wrong reasons. Learn and grow from the experience.

And by the way, your parents will survive when you tell them the "bad news". And, with you calling them crying every night do you think they'll really be suprised?

Good luck.

This really is excellent advice. If you're disinterested now and you were not interested in the clinics in the past, it's going to be pure hell. I was in the exact same boat as you before starting medical school. I wasn't interested at all while doing the volunteer thing.

When I got to medical school during the first and second years I was miserable. Sure enough, people kept telling me "oh, it gets better during the third year." Better my ass. Third year sucks if you hate the clinic and was just a confirmation message that medicine is definitely not for me. With the exception of a few uber-competitive specialties, the lifestyle of a doc is $hit in my opinion, especially if you don't like what you are doing. So, I walked out in the middle of my OB/GYN rotation. Man, it felt good to walk over to my over-worked, obviously miserable attending and tell her that I wouldn't be back...ever.

Good luck in making your decision, I know it's a tough one because I've been there.

 

[firegirl]

first, let me say, i don't post very often but i really feel for you and your situation.

i took a few years off and came back to med school totally psyched, but first year really beat me down. the only reason i didn't quit was because i am hpsp and the air force said if i wasn't going to be a doctor, i was going to war (my husband refused to let me go-- i was thinking about it, i wanted out that badly.) but second year was better, and third year is even better than that.

point being, many of us question our commitment when bogged by minutiae, and facing a decade of training. some part of you may really want to do this (you went through apps and MCAT, etc.) but maybe you just haven't found what part of medicine you're meant to explore.

i fully agree with everyone who says to get counselling, then take a leave before breaking with school completely. but maybe also, you should try following in other specialties. i personally want to go ortho, so FP is making me want to go into a coma. the poster who suggested writing was right on, but there is so much more you can do: consult with private firms, work in R&D with consumer products, travel and do rural medicine, work in hospital administration. the various specialties often have very distinct personalities, and you may find one that matches yours exactly-- or you may find you use your MD to get a job where you never practice medicine at all.

anyhow, i apologize, as i tend to ramble. good luck. i hope you find your way. and not to force my beliefs on anyone, but if you pray, maybe you should pray about it. you may not have an epiphany, but you may find some peace.

cheers.

 

[Indebt4Life]

Rbrav,
Don't give up!!! Take comfort in knowing that EVERYONE is going through the agony that you describe. I am now in my fifth week of first year medical school. The first two weeks were horrible: my hair was falling out, my shoulders were always tense, I was tired ALL the time, I was home sick and yet, information kept flying at me. But then after that first test, we started learning how to take histories and vitals...and it really made me remember why I want to go into medicine. All I can say is hang in there.

 

[Rbrav]

Thanks for all the responses, everyone! It really makes me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone and that people are willing to help support me.

I've managed to calm down some, which is good. I'm slowly getting used to the amount of studying I have to do. I'm still pretty nervous about the future, but I know (or at least am trying to convince myself) that I should give it a fair shot.

At any rate, I don't *know* that I'd be happier doing something else, and if nothing else, as an MD, I'd be able to support a family comfortably.

So, I'm over my initial freak-out. There may be more in the future, but at the moment, I'm doing OK. Thanks again!

 

[Tofurkey]

I hated law school from day one. Every day I dreaded going there, studying, and being in the legal environment. I stuck it out and now have my JD. I'm also currently applying to med school.

I regret sticking it out; I wish I had dropped out, applied to med school early, so I wouldn't be so old now that I'm applying to med school. However, the main difference was that I found law school very easy, so staying wasn't a big deal b/c I never studied anyway. However I see that med school is a totally different ballgame--you can't coast.

Just my two cents.

 

[cheesypoofs]

I agree so much, i did quit and i cannot imagine making it thru this without therapy. someone who went to med school; yet, knows objectively in a sense of what you should do. my first session, she really thought this was just about perfectionism but after several visits we have really realized that i am the kind of person that if I cannot always make A's this might not be the right field for me. i think innately you know if its just hard work that pisses you off or if its just not right. I did not mind studying at all, kinda enjoyed it. but when i got ready for test or just a quiz i would totally (and I mean literally have a panic attack) nobody knew this would ever happen and i have been under many more stressful situations and it didn't. So my advice, go with your gut.

Thanks for all the responses, everyone! It really makes me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone and that people are willing to help support me.

I've managed to calm down some, which is good. I'm slowly getting used to the amount of studying I have to do. I'm still pretty nervous about the future, but I know (or at least am trying to convince myself) that I should give it a fair shot.

At any rate, I don't *know* that I'd be happier doing something else, and if nothing else, as an MD, I'd be able to support a family comfortably.

So, I'm over my initial freak-out. There may be more in the future, but at the moment, I'm doing OK. Thanks again!

 

[Blake]

Rbrav,
Don't give up!!! Take comfort in knowing that EVERYONE is going through the agony that you describe. I am now in my fifth week of first year medical school. The first two weeks were horrible: my hair was falling out, my shoulders were always tense, I was tired ALL the time, I was home sick and yet, information kept flying at me. But then after that first test, we started learning how to take histories and vitals...and it really made me remember why I want to go into medicine. All I can say is hang in there.

Rbrav, sorry to hear that you're feeling miserable through your first weeks of med school. Everyone has given great advice, so you should think about it and try following some.

Now to Indebt4life, you're saying everyone hates the 1st year ? You obviously don't go at my school. We're in the 3rd week ( we started real material the 1st week ) and everyone I've met so far isn't losing their hair, being tired, etc... I really don't understand how it can be that bad, but then again, maybe your school is actually that bad. Anyway, it'll get better so hang in there

 

[JattMed]

Thanks for all the responses, everyone! It really makes me feel better, knowing that I'm not alone and that people are willing to help support me.

I've managed to calm down some, which is good. I'm slowly getting used to the amount of studying I have to do. I'm still pretty nervous about the future, but I know (or at least am trying to convince myself) that I should give it a fair shot.

At any rate, I don't *know* that I'd be happier doing something else, and if nothing else, as an MD, I'd be able to support a family comfortably.

So, I'm over my initial freak-out. There may be more in the future, but at the moment, I'm doing OK. Thanks again!

For the future, ya dont have to say 'I want to drop out'........just ask for advice on how to cope. Personally if someone says 'I want to drop out....' my answer is going to be 'okay'. If you are looking for sympathy just ask for some directly.......you will get it and the help you seek alot sooner.....
Glad you are feeling better about med though.......

 

[cheesypoofs]

Before I quit, I spoke to alot of my classmates, etc. And they were stressed but bottom line they did not want to quit and did enjoy this. I feel I just lost my spark or fire so to speak and wished I hadn't. But I would rather be out now than 150K in debt later.

Rbrav, sorry to hear that you're feeling miserable through your first weeks of med school. Everyone has given great advice, so you should think about it and try following some.

Now to Indebt4life, you're saying everyone hates the 1st year ? You obviously don't go at my school. We're in the 3rd week ( we started real material the 1st week ) and everyone I've met so far isn't losing their hair, being tired, etc... I really don't understand how it can be that bad, but then again, maybe your school is actually that bad. Anyway, it'll get better so hang in there

 

[hondo55]

Cheesy poofs- How have you dealt with leaving medical school? Has it been hard to adjust not having "medicine" dominate your life? What are you doing now??

 

[8744]

Ok, reality check...

1. Quit crying! You're in medical school, not Iraq. No one is shooting at you and your friends aren't getting blown away, so let's have a little perspective. (Also, let's all use the opportunities those fine soldiers are affording us. )

2. You obviously had enough motivation to be a physician to hammer out undergrad, take the MCAT, apply, interview, and get in to med school. Don't discount that.

3. You can do pretty much anything you want to with an MD, even write and edit... and have excellent job security. So ignore all the "quit if you'll be happier" lines, just cause it's difficult right now. Fact: First year blows, and second year is better. Someone else can tell you about 3rd year and beyond. Also, quitting is weak, not enlightened; if you regret doing something, you didn't think hard enough about it beforehand. Have the discipline to follow through.

4. If you quit med school, chances are you'll probably quit other things in life that seem difficult. You could get into some writing job that makes med school look like a walk in the park, and regret it later. Also, you can't be a quitter and an "overachiever", so just don't quit. If you're struggling harder than you ever have, that's a good thing, and you can learn something about yourself that you couldn't otherwise. Keep at it! If something isn't difficult to attain, chances are it isn't worth much.

5. It's way too early in the game to know if you really like medicine. Heck, I don't really know what it's all about, but I sure want to see for myself. I think you should stick it out, since you asked all of us... Remember, it gets better!

6. Take it one day and one test at a time... Apply yourself like you know how, insulate yourself from the stressful ones and unmotivated ones in your class, and do well. Make some good friends and enjoy your freedom. Before you know it, the second year will be upon you, and the next, and the next.

7. Chances are you're young. So, even if you get all the way through with the next four years, and hate it, at least you'll have an MD on your resume that will open the doors to pretty much any job you want. You can easily start over on a new career path at 25; I started med school at 32.

8. Go forth and do well in med school. Do not quit or take a year to "get to know yourself" or something... The best decisions in life are often the hardest; it would probably easier to quit med school, which should be a red flag not to do it. Stay with it!!!

Best of luck to you!

Excellent advice. Folks, once you get adjusted, medical school is not hard. All it takes is a little self-discipline.

When you start first year, you study like crazy afraid you will miss something. As the year goes along you realize that a good deal of your studying is wasted effort and you do less but higher quality studying and do better on tests. By the end of second year, if you spend five hours a week studying you call it a productive week and get the smug satisfaction of the righteous.

Additionally, I know some of you first years won't believe this but you will calm down in about six months. Right now, they give you a big pile of notes and handouts every day and you panic. A year from now you will yawn and say, "100 pages? Is that all? Man, this course is great."

Third year will be a shock because you will have to get up early, stay late, and follow a dress code. After two years of lolligagging along, skipping class with impunity and, rolling out of bed and coming to class in your Pyjamas you will have to report to the wards at five AM every morning during your surgery rotation. But it is not hard. Nobody fails third year unless they try really hard to do bad things.

Fourth year is as hard or easy as you want to make it, depending on whatelectives you choose.

 

[EvoDevo]

Excellent advice. Folks, once you get adjusted, medical school is not hard. All it takes is a little self-discipline.

When you start first year, you study like crazy afraid you will miss something. As the year goes along you realize that a good deal of your studying is wasted effort and you do less but higher quality studying and do better on tests. By the end of second year, if you spend five hours a week studying you call it a productive week and get the smug satisfaction of the righteous.

Additionally, I know some of you first years won't believe this but you will calm down in about six months. Right now, they give you a big pile of notes and handouts every day and you panic. A year from now you will yawn and say, "100 pages? Is that all? Man, this course is great."

Third year will be a shock because you will have to get up early, stay late, and follow a dress code. After two years of lolligagging along, skipping class with impunity and, rolling out of bed and coming to class in your Pyjamas you will have to report to the wards at five AM every morning during your surgery rotation. But it is not hard. Nobody fails third year unless they try really hard to do bad things.

Fourth year is as hard or easy as you want to make it, depending on whatelectives you choose.

Word. To paraphrase perhaps the best recruiting slogan ever: "They never promised you a rose garden."

Life isn't about quitting folks.

 

[care bear]

Word. To paraphrase perhaps the best recruiting slogan ever: "They never promised you a rose garden."

Life isn't about quitting folks.

evo. . .i'm sure your advice is appreciated but to me, it seems a little flippant & condescending, particularly coming from someone who hasn't 'been there, done that.'

 

[Lonestar]

Dear RbRav,

If you want to quit, this is the year to quit. REMEMBER there is no turning back once you get way into your medical education unless your parents are loaded and payoff your loans. On the other hand, Medicine is so diverse many people will find a niche eventually. There are many fields in medicine which once you are in practice you can work 40-60 hrs/wk. And I know many happy docs. I think their happiness mainly has to do with offtime and adequate compensation. To say the least, you will go through hell for atleast 3 years medschool (4th year is fun), and 3-5 years residency. I am currently in my internship, so to let you know you can turn back now or go for the glory. There will ALWAYS be that next test or board examination which will be looming, but you have to adjust accordingly. Once you do that, you will have a lot more fun. There are plenty of other professional fields where you don't work for so many years and are pretty well compensated. But if you want medicine, you will find something you will like whether it is patient care oriented or working in a lab, dark room or putting people to sleep. I am happy with my decision to enter anesthesiology because I will enjoy what I do (not LOVE but enjoy) and have a decent life.

 

[J Lucas]

I think most of the previous posters are missing one obvious point. You said you were away from your girlfriend since you started right? When was the last time you got some ass man? Get someand then see how your outlook is, it can change your whole outlook on things. You can do it

 

[Rbrav]

I think most of the previous posters are missing one obvious point. You said you were away from your girlfriend since you started right? When was the last time you got some ass man? Get someand then see how your outlook is, it can change your whole outlook on things. You can do it

Ha. Funny you should mention this, actually. My girlfriend called it off a couple days ago because of the long distance. Not looking for sympathy, just ... ::shrugs:: Up and down, up and down. I made an appointment with my school's counselor for next week. We'll see how that goes.

 

[powermd]

This really is excellent advice. If you're disinterested now and you were not interested in the clinics in the past, it's going to be pure hell. I was in the exact same boat as you before starting medical school. I wasn't interested at all while doing the volunteer thing.

When I got to medical school during the first and second years I was miserable. Sure enough, people kept telling me "oh, it gets better during the third year." Better my ass. Third year sucks if you hate the clinic and was just a confirmation message that medicine is definitely not for me. With the exception of a few uber-competitive specialties, the lifestyle of a doc is $hit in my opinion, especially if you don't like what you are doing. So, I walked out in the middle of my OB/GYN rotation. Man, it felt good to walk over to my over-worked, obviously miserable attending and tell her that I wouldn't be back...ever.

Good luck in making your decision, I know it's a tough one because I've been there.

I agree with this poster. Every year of med school sucks in it's own special way. Internship REALLY sucks. The only reason I won't quit is because fundamentally I love what medicine is about- caring for people, taking responsibility for serious problems, and rising to meet challenges that matter. The work of med school, and scut of internship are NOT how attending doctors live. It gets better after residency, but you still have to push through the pain. If you don't have a burning desire to practice medicine, I don't think you will make it through- and you shouldn't try.

Most people are fairly miserable in med school, and complain a lot, but very few seriously contemplate leaving, because beneath it all, they still want to be doctors. You aren't even sure of that. Give it a semester, and do some serious soul searching. You have been given a very precious opportunity that few could ever have- the chance to become a doctor. Be sure you really don't want it before giving up.

 

[8744]

Do not walk out in the middle of any rotation. Tough it out. By the time you are in third year it is all down-hill. I have said it before. You can be a complete slacker during third year and still pass. Naturally you will have to do a few things but if you show your face, lolligag through clinics, and learn how to hide you will get through. Naturally you will only get mediocre evaluations but "medicocre" is "passing." Study a little for your shelf exams and if all you want to do is graduate, you can pick a whole slew of benign electives for fourth year. Hell. If you don't plan on matching fourth year would be like a vacation.

I love medical school so with the exception of Heme Onc and Pediatrics which I absolutely despised, I worked pretty hard in third year. (In Heme Onc, I didn't touch a patient in the entire two weeks.)

 

[automaton]

I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

i didn't check this thread until now because i figured it would just be petty whining and crap. and i guess it is. but we're all entitled to it i suppose. aside from the calling everyday and crying part, and the part about being an overachiever, your story sounds like mine. i was a humanities major, and one that required VERY little memorization. i used to read and write and think, then suddenly i came to med school and i ended up memorizing neologisms and meaningless alphanumeric combinations.

i think it is natural for most people to doubt their role in medicine. i still do quite often. and let me just tell you now, first year sucks. aside from the annoying people who love playing eager wannabe docs, most people find first year stupid, mind-numbing, and barely bearable. second year is i guess a little better, but don't really be surprised if you still hate it at that point.

that being said, an MD is very flexible, and medicine isn't all about biology. i'm sure you have heard the term "art of medicine" and it is true that there is an element of art or skill involved in being a good doctor. listening skills, thinking on the fly, coming up with a differential diagnosis... these are all kind of things that you don't have much exposure to early on, but will use on a daily basis. and maybe you will like doing this.

shadowing and watching what goes on from the outside in is not the same as actually doing things. i've shadowed medicine residents, family doctors, and radiologists. each time i was bored to death. but watching is different from doing. just think of watching someone read vs. actually reading something interesting yourself. big difference right?

there is a reason why you're in medical school. you think it's a big front, and you think you've just been able to fool yourself all this time. you think you've fooled the admissions committee. but keep and open mind about this; it may turn out that deep down, maybe at an unconscious level, there is a more meaningful reason for you being in medical school than simply pleasing other people and overachieving. you could have probably done a lot of other things; why medical school? like you, i convinced myself that i only started medical school to "not be a failure" or for prestige or whatever other cynical reason you can think of. and i also convinced myself that i hated everything about medicine, hated dealing with patients, and was abandoning my life's "true" purpose, which i haven't figured out to this day. i think this is a defensive measure in response to the pain of having to study all the time and give up a lot of things. you develop antagonism towards medical school and medicine because it demands a lot from you and you don't want to yield to it. but i think if you look beyond all this antagonism, you are likely to find your calling and purpose in medicine.

i don't claim to have figured things out, and i'm not sure that my heart is really in medicine either. as a second year, i have a lot of the same doubts as you do. but realize that the first two years is not what being a doctor is like. my pathology professor called these years our "undergraduate education". there is a ton of memorization, and you'll forget a lot. but once you progress, you won't just be constantly memorizing, and you won't simply be regurgitating for a multiple choice question. you will be using this information as a foundation for critical thinking when dealing with signs and symptoms, forming a differential diagnosis, thinking of possible complications, alternative treatments, contraindications, and so on. what i mean to say is that the tunnel is long, and sometimes we think that the tunnel is all there is. but that's not necessarily true.

you've made it this far; you owe yourself to think about this a lot more and not simply sulk by yourself. try to do work in the community, set up blood drives, cholesterol screenings, or volunteer at the free clinics. as a medical student you will be allowed to do more and will have a better idea of what your actual practice will be like.

i think the admissions committee saw in you a potential to become a great doctor. that is why you're in medical school. if they didn't think you'd enjoy medicine, you would not be there. all i'm saying is to allow yourself to develop the potential they saw in you, and allow yourself to find something in medicine that interests you.

 

[EvoDevo]

evo. . .i'm sure your advice is appreciated but to me, it seems a little flippant & condescending, particularly coming from someone who hasn't 'been there, done that.'

Sure it seems flippant. Of course I haven't "Been there." But I have been in the Marines and dealt with some pretty harsh ****. And you know, before I went into the service people warned me that it would really suck sometimes. Did it? You bet. Were they right? They were. Did complaining or quitting ever solve problems? No, they did not.

No one EVER said med school would be easy. *I* have NO illusions about it. And neither should anyone else. MS is just one step on a journey to some end point, and that knowledge ought to allow folks to endure what it entails. I will be there next year guaranteed, and frankly there are lotsa folks who won't ever have the chance to do what the OP now has the opportunity to do. I'm amazed that anyone does this for anyone but themselves......in any event, unless the OP absolutely positively enrolled in MS for everyone but himself, then he owes it to his future to finish it out.

Besides, like someone else said, once they're done with MS they can go on to do other things with their life. And having that MD behind your name opens a LOT of doors for the rest of your life.

Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

 

[EvoDevo]

Oh, and I think Automaton said the absolute best, most heart-felt thing in this entire thread.

 

[Wingo]

I f I were going to write what I feel inside in a thread, I would neve be able to find more sutable words than yours my friend
I know exactly how you feel, I graduated, but I still feel the same
I am sorry, I can't give you the answer, I am , myself, still looking for a solution
unfortunately, I got no luck so far
Good Luck for you

 

[8744]

Sure it seems flippant. Of course I haven't "Been there." But I have been in the Marines and dealt with some pretty harsh ****. And you know, before I went into the service people warned me that it would really suck sometimes. Did it? You bet. Were they right? They were. Did complaining or quitting ever solve problems? No, they did not.

No one EVER said med school would be easy. *I* have NO illusions about it. And neither should anyone else. MS is just one step on a journey to some end point, and that knowledge ought to allow folks to endure what it entails. I will be there next year guaranteed, and frankly there are lotsa folks who won't ever have the chance to do what the OP now has the opportunity to do. I'm amazed that anyone does this for anyone but themselves......in any event, unless the OP absolutely positively enrolled in MS for everyone but himself, then he owes it to his future to finish it out.

Besides, like someone else said, once they're done with MS they can go on to do other things with their life. And having that MD behind your name opens a LOT of doors for the rest of your life.

Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.

EvoDevo is right. A lot of people think medical school is hard because they have nothing to compare it to. I was an engineering major as an undergrad so I was used to studying all the time for mediocre grades. I was also a Marine, and in the infantry, so I am a little better at putting the stress and occasional bull**** of medical school into perspective.

No question about it, medical school is stressful. But you have to keep in mind that the days when half of the class would not make it to second year are over. The system is set up in your favor now. Hardly anybody gets kicked out for bad grades. My class has only lost three so far for this reason. One in freshman year and two who failed Step 1 twice and had to drop back a year after passing it on thethird attempt.

Third year is a heck of a lot more stressful then first or second year, by the way. It is easier from and academic standpoint for sure but nobody "pimps" you in first year or expects you to know anything.

 

[8744]

And Automaton is bang on. Everybody, at one time or another, wonders if perhaps the admission comittee made a mistake in offering them admission. Everybody has their moments of self-doubt, especially in the first six months.

Just tough it out.