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I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by posterboi, Aug 18, 2011.

  1. posterboi

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    In my first thread, I mentioned that my gpa was only a 2.68. After three years of uni due to depression and bad decision making. It's all my fault and I take full responsibility for it.

    I am transferring to a new university to delay my graduation by a year and to see if a change in environment helps me because I was just miserable at my old school.

    I'm not looking for pity or a pat on the back. I know what I need to do to repair this and I know that it will take some time and be very difficult. I will be starting at my new school next week and I am afraid of going there and messing up.

    I am afraid of many things like doing poorly at my new school like I did at my old school, doing poorly on the MCAT, and continuing to fail like I have in the past. I'm tired of being afraid because I lose motivation. Maybe that makes me a coward, but I don't care.

    There are plenty of people with low gpas that managed to turn things around and get into med school. I want to be one of those people. But in order to do that I just have to stop feeling afraid and not lose motivation. I have tried my best not too but a part of me always is given my past which is just one giant failure. If anyone can relate to where I am coming from, I would really appreciate your help with this question:

    How do I not be afraid?

    Thanks
     
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  3. SeminoleVesicle

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    Talk to gujuDoc.
     
  4. JESSFALLING

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    Do what you love. Do you really want to become a doctor, or is there something else that you'd rather do with your life? I find pursuing one's passion a good motivator in challenging times.

    Also, I hope you're planning on going to DO route. You may be able to repair your GPA through their "Grade Replacement" policy. Otherwise, I think you'll find it nearly impossible to get your GPA up enough, quick enough for either professional school. I would retake any science courses that you have a C or below in. This will help you prepare for the MCAT too.
     
  5. Drrrrrr. Celty

    Drrrrrr. Celty Osteo Dullahan
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    You have nothing to fear, but fear itself. If you work hard and put your heart into it, you'll get good grades and become a doctor.
     
  6. aSagacious

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    What really helped my confidence after being thoroughly handled by my junior year was a few successive 4.0s. Perhaps you should ease your way into your next college by taking a relatively light course load for the first semester or two and blow your classes out of the water. From there obtaining 4.0's will seem more realistic.
     
  7. DrArete

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    You have two things to repair: yourself and your GPA.

    You are the first priority.

    Medical school can wait, some people don't even start until their 40s.

    Practically speaking - take some classes that you like, close out undergrad strongly.

    Also, take care of yourself physically, and avoid alcohol and do exercise.

    If you are up for it, do something like peace corps for a year or two.

    Reevaluate your goals, realize that medicine is but one of many ways to help people or achieve relevance.

    If you don't want medicine, pursue work in development, maybe get a masters in public health or international relations.

    If you do want medicine, shoot for a top ranked 1 yr post bac program, if that doesnt work, pursue a job that is health related while doing your pre reqs at a reasonably priced school.
     
  8. torshi

    torshi Squirrel
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    :thumbdown:thumbdown:thumbdown:
     
  9. isoquin

    isoquin Allopathetic
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    I can't really help you with being afraid, but I would recommend this:
    You have a lot of pre-med education ahead of you, including a post-bac or masters program. My best advice is to structure your day with a pre-planned schedule, and stick to that schedule like your career depends on it. If you write in studying from 5-7pm, you start at 5:00 on the nose, take 5-10 minute breaks each hour without longer exceptions, and don't stop until your scheduled study time is done.

    This will inevitably push things out of your schedule, including distractions, procrastination, and being afraid. Best of luck.
     
  10. Etorphine

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    Don't cut corners, do the work and pay your dues, then you can have confidence in your preparation. Think about what this means.
     
  11. posterboi

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    Thanks for the responses guys. I realize that there are several options to being successful but my desire to be a doctor is pretty personal. See my original thread as I go into detail as to why I want to be a doctor.

    I know that I have to sit down and work my gluteus Maximus off like crazy. What I struggle with is sometimes my past failures come back into my thoughts and I get really depressed about it.

    I try to block it, went to therapy, tried ssris, but to no avail. how do you not let your past hold you back?

    Sorry if the answers to these questions seem obvious, they really arent to me unfortunatley.
     
  12. tn4596

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    1. hit the gym
    2. be a man
    you so melodramatic dude
     
  13. dude, you sound really pathetic. stuff happens, get over it.
     
  14. Morsetlis

    Morsetlis I wish I were a dentist
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    See a psychiatrist, or be a man.
     
  15. FattySlug

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    What happened at your old school that made you so miserable?
     
  16. arfc6

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    Go walkabout or something like that. Things will start to make sense.
     
  17. DavetheMD

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    If medicine is truly your dream, it should be enough to eliminate fear of failure. You have to keep your eye on the purpose of this sacrifice.
     
  18. posterboi

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    1) I bench 315 and have a six pack.

    2) thanks a lot to everyone who offered reasonable advice. To the rest of the idiots whose posts are similar to this one, don't write on my f****ing thread if that's all you have to offer.

    Peace :D
     
  19. Doc of the Walk

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    Why was that neccesarry to share? I have a six pack too







    Though mine is in the fridge
     
  20. Morsetlis

    Morsetlis I wish I were a dentist
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    I don't have a six-pack.
     
  21. ElCapone

    ElCapone Don't Lawyer Me
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    I have a 12 pack. It's 2x better than a 6 pack.
     
  22. brandonh4

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    Everyone and their brother benches 315, on the interwebz. I'm surprised you didn't say you throw up 405 or 495. But I remain unconvinced. You can't bench 315 by being a melodramatic dweeb.
     
  23. Drogo

    Drogo hakuna matata
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    Let's put it this way, there's always going to be someone who had it or currently has it rougher than you. Most probably have no idea a place like SDN even exists. You need to formulate some sort of logical plan with a clear goal. From the sound of it though you had already failed before you even started at your other school.

    I honestly wouldn't want you to be my doctor in the future, we need confident doctors with the backbone necessary to take on some of the most stressful situations; and this applying especially to certain specialties.
     
  24. Morsetlis

    Morsetlis I wish I were a dentist
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    That was me when I applied to medical school.
     
  25. Lunasly

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    "I don't want to be afraid anymore"

    Are you kidding me... LOOOOL!!!!!! Stop being a lil' bitch man!!!
     
  26. Camy99

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    Do you not know what depression IS? It's a mental condition. So he can be strong, 6-packed, and a mannnn all he wants but that won't change how he thinks and views himself. Especially in the world of premed when you feel like everything's out to get you. I realize his post read pathetic because it's asking a bunch of strangers how to change his life, but I'm glad at least he's trying to grow and improve because depression takes you down faster if you just bottle it in. SDN may not have been the best place, but there's reason to be rude about it (don't bother welcoming me to the internet, I got it thanks.)


    I went through a similar downfall my freshman year OP, but all I can say to you (not knowing you) is if you don't want to be afraid: don't. Just don't. It's really that simple. As someone else responded, the only thing to fear is fear itself. You're not perfect and never will be so there's no point of being afraid of it. Disappointment only comes if you know you didn't try your best therefore give it your 110% from now on :) I have things I hold on to to keep me going in tough times (which if you really want to be a doctor, will be the rest of your life so get used to it), so find something of the sort for yourself that helps you in those times when you can't motivate yourself.
     
  27. posterboi

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    No it wasnt necessary at all but I was just trying to prove a point to that poster :p.
     
  28. posterboi

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    Thanks for the response. I do agree that my post did sound a quite pathetic and I didn't intend it to come out that way. I just thought after talking to people in my real life and therapists with no improvement, maybe other premeds would know what it's like. So I went on SDN which, in retrospect, may not have been the best move lol.

    Giving 110% is what I need to do, I guess when I fail I should try to learn from it instead of defining myself by the fact that I failed. It's hard because I'm so used to doing that but, I'll take small steps at a time.
     
  29. Sailor Senshi Dermystify

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    Litany against fear


    I must not fear.

    Fear is the mind-killer.

    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

    I will face my fear.

    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

    Only I will remain. "
     
  30. Longshanks

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    Are you ignorant, or just stupid? I can't tell by this post. It's not a choice between mental health treatment and being a "man". OP may have an anxiety disorder, who are you to judge?
     
  31. ladybug1122

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    I might get some heat for this but I suggest prayer. Prayer has helped me through some really difficult times in my life.
    Good luck with everything!
     
  32. 0919mmk

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    The way I look at the whole med school application situation is this: 50% of applicants don't get in anywhere. So what do those 50% end up doing with their lives?

    A: Other things! And many of them will end up much happier than the 50% who DO end up getting in to med school. Try to keep a good perspective on things - medicine is just a career, it's not a life or death situation. Obviously, everybody here hopes to get in, but if you don't, go do something else cool. There are many many great things that you can do with your life other than medicine.

    I think if you keep that perspective, then there is really nothing to fear. Failure in this endeavor will just be the start of your next endeavor.
     
  33. CodeBlu

    CodeBlu Dream Weaver
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    If you get heat for this... then the schmucks on this forum really don't deserve to be doctors.

    Either way, prayer can be powerful in terms of psychological stability. But I will say, it's not for everyone.
     
  34. 0919mmk

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    Not to go off on a whole religion tangent, which has been done about a million times on SDN, but I hope you don't get any heat for your comment. I don't believe in god or prayer, but this is America goddammit! You can believe whatever you want to believe, and people should leave you the hell alone :) If prayer is what gets you through the day, more power to you.
     
  35. 0919mmk

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    haha - great minds. Any drexel action?
     
  36. posterboi

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    Yea that is true that there are other careers but I do really want this to work out, not just so that I can brag to people that I'm a doctor. It's a lot more than that as I mention in my first thread.

    Fear of failure can paralyze you and prevent you from taking action if all you have defined yourself by is your failures. I guess the consensus is that the only way to conquer that fear, is to conquer it. Though it makes sense, I just wish there was a rational approach.

    As for prayer, it's just not my thing. I'm not too religious but thanks for the input.
     
  37. StephanieZ

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    :thumbup:

    At the start of application season I was really depressed and having anxiety problems because I felt like I wouldn't get in and I was afraid of spending years and years applying for nothing. You have got to be prepared to do something else if it doesn't work out otherwise you will make yourself sick with worry. I settled on Physicians assistant school if I don't get into med school after two application cycles, and I feel alot better knowing that I have a back-up plan and the world isn't going to end if I never get into med school.
     
  38. golfman

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    If you do get into med school, let me assure you that your six-pack has a high likelihood of turning into a keg.
     
  39. posterboi

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    That's cool, I guess if im not good enough to get into med school my back up plan will be the phd and research route. I could see myself content doing that but a part would have to live with the fact that I failed to get into med school. Ah well I guess that's the down side of being human - can't have everything.
     

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