I feel like a walking disaster

[Hemostat33]

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I'm referring to research here. I entered a graduate program to improve my application and to take advantage of some academic and research opportunities I never did. Anway, I've been in the lab a total of five weeks and I feel like i'm a disaster. I've done a few stupid things that haven't really been a big deal, but today I might have kiled quite a few cells in culture...i'm not sure yet. I just really feel like everytime I walk in there I screw something up.
I've worked as a dental assistant for 8 years and I'm starting to wonder what kind of dentist I will be if I can't do basic research with little flaw. I know that dentistry takes a lot of skill. I'm not sure if i'm putting way too much pressure on myself, or if I really am scatter brained and not precise enough for dentistry.
Is there anyone else here doing research that feels the same way?

 

[sl2obel2ts]

I'm referring to research here. I entered a graduate program to improve my application and to take advantage of some academic and research opportunities I never did. Anway, I've been in the lab a total of five weeks and I feel like i'm a disaster. I've done a few stupid things that haven't really been a big deal, but today I might have kiled quite a few cells in culture...i'm not sure yet. I just really feel like everytime I walk in there I screw something up.
I've worked as a dental assistant for 8 years and I'm starting to wonder what kind of dentist I will be if I can't do basic research with little flaw. I know that dentistry takes a lot of skill. I'm not sure if i'm putting way too much pressure on myself, or if I really am scatter brained and not precise enough for dentistry.
Is there anyone else here doing research that feels the same way?

Hey

It's okay as long as you didn't break like 4000$ centrifuge or killed the whole cell line. Everyone makes mistakes. I once broke an electric precision pipet which cost 750$.by dropping it in a bucket of isopropanol and microscope light bulb because I forgot to turn it off. Eventually the lab did the usual "warranty trick" to get everything replaced. Good times. Just learn from mistake. =]

 

[SugarNaCl]

LOL... Hemostat... I have been in research for 5+ years. Let me not so briefly walk you through them.

Year 1: MS program with thesis: I managed to get into a lab (neuroimmunology / physiology) with NO experience. I felt like an idiot for not just the first 5 weeks... but the first 5 MONTHS! I did NOTHING right. Simple things for people with experience seemed nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to understand. Research is probably one of the hardest fields... and I started to learn that year 1.

Year 2: First half: I'm starting to feel more comfortable. I meet with a prof. at another school who in fact tells me that I need MUCH more experience because it is evident I don't have a clue what I'm talking about where research comes into play.
Second half: I start spending a LOT of time in the lab and try to learn TONS of techniques to take with me after graduation. I manage to squeeze out a publication and can actually explain a bit of my own research 😛

Year 2 of research = still MAJORLY inexperienced!

Year 3: Then I graduate and manage to fight for a job in the Dept. of Medicine and Pharmacology and Therapeutics at a cancer hospital. I make mistakes. I didn't even make a buffer right. I put water up to 1000 mL and then poured in the buffering chemicals. The boss did not like that. We were doing research that impacted not only drug companies, but also the lives of patients. I got really scared and started to doubt myself. He also made mistakes though!!!! And he has an EXCELLENT reputation. RESEARCH IS HARD and less than perfect.

Second half of year 3: I had really set out to learn all I could and my boss (an MD/PhD) was VERY encouraging. We made it to the point 6 months in that he would let me do all the experiments and he stayed about 4 buildings over. That continued until I left the hospital for dental school in research year 5. He trusted me but it had taken 3.5 years to get to this point.

Years 4-5: I had a LOT of responsibilities. I actually started thinking up my own experiments and got 2 more publications. I found it FASCINATING! I started to LOVE it and meeting with the patients that were giving us their serum so we could learn more was awesome... as was meeting patients on the protocols we were working on to try a last ditch effort to save them. When you see research as more than merely cell culture... when you realize what it is you are doing and how important it is... when you truly start to love it and UNDERSTAND the concepts behind it... it will come to you but that isn't just in someone... it takes time.

I have seen PhDs and MD/PhDs and MDs that have done research for 25 years+ make mistakes. That is life with research but you get better and you get more knowledgeable.. like anything else, it just takes time. I stand by my statement:

The MD, the DO, the DDS, the DMD, the DPM, the DVM...these are NOT the true heroes. The heroes are the researchers.... they are the ones that make it all possible. As future clinicians...we will merely diagnose and treat but if we get involved in research, THAT is where the true reward is.

Good luck. You are not alone.

 

[Hemostat33]

you all have made me feel better....
I think I just have a bit too much responsibility on my hands. I'm in the lab by myself taking care of not only my cells, but my mentor's. He's out of town. I really wanted to say to him before he left "by the way, this place will fall apart with me here," but I didn't because I felt like if he felt I was responsible enough to do this, then I should be. Then today I added the wrong kind of media to his cells and I was SO upset about it. We'll see what happens.
I have been really asking myself why I chose to do a thesis Master's program, but I just really feel it will be better for me in the long run. I think I've needed to work on these skills for a while, so I suppose this is my chance. Something good will come of this!

 

[BioMaxDDS]

you all have made me feel better....
I think I just have a bit too much responsibility on my hands. I'm in the lab by myself taking care of not only my cells, but my mentor's. He's out of town. I really wanted to say to him before he left "by the way, this place will fall apart with me here," but I didn't because I felt like if he felt I was responsible enough to do this, then I should be. Then today I added the wrong kind of media to his cells and I was SO upset about it. We'll see what happens.
I have been really asking myself why I chose to do a thesis Master's program, but I just really feel it will be better for me in the long run. I think I've needed to work on these skills for a while, so I suppose this is my chance. Something good will come of this!

did you replace the media?
if you realized it right after the media, why not just spin them down then add the correct media?

 

[SugarNaCl]

did you replace the media?
if you realized it right after the media, why not just spin them down then add the correct media?

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Trouble is even if you leave culture in the wrong media for short amounts of time in the incubator ... sometimes it is enough to change the cells significantly. The experiments can't necessarily be trusted. Our rule of thumb if we had a contaminated line or something is to thaw out a new cryovial of them and grow them up for 2 weeks changing the media depending on how fast the cells were growing.
PS...IT HAPPENS

 

[Hemostat33]

no, i didn't replace it. these are suspension cells. i didn't know until i got home and talked to him. to me the bottle wasn't labeled well. it said it was for those cells. i guess it was the stock solution.

 

[SugarNaCl]

no, i didn't replace it. these are suspension cells. i didn't know until i got home and talked to him. to me the bottle wasn't labeled well. it said it was for those cells. i guess it was the stock solution.

Oh, so it didn't have things like (totally depending on cell type) pen/strep, L-glut etc? Risk of contamination and lack of nutrients. I'm sure your boss will forgive you. If I had a dollar for every cell culture I messed up... I'd have about 20 bucks.

 

[Orgodox]

I wouldnt worry too much, like people said it takes experience and were you even given a real introduction to doing the techniques there or they said okay heres this and this..go for it caze without a real understanding its makes things much harder.