I feel truly sad and I need a little help

[AKu2984]

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Poor OP...got scared away.

 

[WildlifeSaver]

Hey, I know how you feel completely..My b/f didn't want to be with me at one point because he thought he couldn't handle me with all the stuff I do in my life..He soon realized he loved me too much to ruined our 4 year relationship over something like that, but in the end I ended out long relationship. I broke up with him and it killed me at first that I did this, but I thought it was the best things I have ever done to this day. He was older and wanted a family soon and I could not handle that burden even though I said I would work out things with him (I stepped down), but he wasn't willing to move wherever I get into med school or professional school one day, not even to think about the idea..

I now find it actually a little amusing, I thought I had to let him go b/c I loved him (he wanted a baby and I couldn't do it now b/c I am not ready). I didn't deep down want to break up with him. We were then mutual with the break up. Then he really put in a mind set to he didn't want to be with me. When he wanted me back, I didn't want to be with him. When I wanted him back, he didn't want me again. For months now he has tried to tell me and show me by doing anything he can to associate with me to this day. Its like he misses me more then I miss him and it was the opposite before. Maybe this happened to us for a reason. All the reasons for not being together I now look at it pettie and there was know real reason to break it off in retrospect of who is giving up what. The demands for aiming for A's, being involved with activities are the rigor demands for entry into med school acceptance takes a LOT of work. I was told once to never give up an opportunity (like being accepted to med school) for a b/f or g/f in life also. Do I believe this? I would like to say yes more, but I also feel b/c I am human and love does things to us and just make sure they are the ones that will be there through it all WITH you.

I think if you really love someone and they truly care about you, they would do anything for you. I also think love is so damn blind. I always try to be the better person in virtually everything I do. After breaking up we tried to be friends or at least I wanted to. Six months after the break up (which is now), he is writes me and it doesn't do anything for me that he wants me back. I just can't get out of my mind things that he said "I would never want to be around someone who has Aids" (just talking about volunteer work one day with him) or the fact that things that he did (actions)was just ridiculously selfish. Give yourself time to reflect on everything. You may feel differently as time surpasses. Trust me on this. And I know it will always hurt and I won't deny I still love him anymore at all. You may see all the good things that you have lost and miss and look at all the positiveness in your relationship now, but time may change that for you a bit. Find someone that will support you no matter what because they are out there and she is not the last person you will ever love if you or when you are ready for it again. Now I know he wasn't right for me and maybe you will see that with her. I hope this helps you.

 

[barto123]

Poor OP...got scared away.

more likely a troll who just got his fix

 

[Handy388]

Hi all,

I know we don't know each other at this point, but I just had the worst day of my life and I really need some objective advice badly. Very recently, my girlfriend of 5 years started having feelings for another guy. This happened relatively easily because I am a 26 year old post-bacc who studies A LOT. I'm finishing up my post-bacc classwork this semester and I'm registered for the June MCAT. I knew she had always had certain problems with the "student" lifestyle and some concerns with the rigors of medicine, but to my knowledge, I've always been able to reassure her it would be different in the long run. Anyway, we are now taking some time apart so she can sort out her feelings and concerns. My biggest problem is that this is literally happening at THE worst possible time....I even have a solo oral presentation tommorow which I have barely prepared for because this has consumed my entire weekend. Anyway, I'm throwing this out there....right now I feel so devastated that this person who I was convinced I was spending the rest of my life with no longer wants to be with me. I have worked as hard as humanly possible over the past 2 years as a post-bacc and I am sincerely worried that my effort will be in vain if I cannot get my head together and finish this semester strong and get a high score on the MCAT. Becuase of all this, I am seriously considering NOT applying this summer even though this has been my carefully thought-out plan for 3 years. 5 years is a long enough time to be with someone that I can not just push these thoughts of grief and sadness aside and concentrate fully on my MCAT studying and coursework. This worst case scenario has come true....i feel close to losing my dream girl and my dream career. Anyone out there?!

my ex cheated on me and dumped me 3 days before the MCAT, and I have gotten a 37

You can do it, champ.

 

[wanttogohome]

absolutely not a troll. I appreciate very much all the insight, advice, and encouragement you all have given me. I have been reading all of your posts, but I'm still a little shocked and confused by all this so I'm trying to just take my time and deal with things slowly. I know that everyone deals with things in different ways, but I'm not the type that can just push this out of my mind and focus my energy on everything else. Nothing against anyone here, but many of these posts have confirmed to me that I'm not the Type A typical premed that runs rampant on this forum. I have invested 5 years of my life with someone I wanted to be with forever and why I concede that in the long-term that perspective will necessarily change, it's just not a therapeutic mindset at this point in time. After talking, I think she understands how deeply hurt and betrayed I felt by this and how, if given the opportunity, I'd like to begin to mend things....of course, this is obviously a longshot and I think before we ever got close to being a functional trusting couple again we would need to really hash things out regarding our expectations and hopes for the future. We are taking some time apart to think about why this happened and if there's room for reconciliation, but ultimately the choice seems to be hers. If and when she decides that she might not want to throw away 5 years over nothing, we will still have a lot of talking to do to really begin fixing things. At this point, however, that doesn't seem likely.

 

[WildlifeSaver]

absolutely not a troll. I appreciate very much all the insight, advice, and encouragement you all have given me. I have been reading all of your posts, but I'm still a little shocked and confused by all this so I'm trying to just take my time and deal with things slowly. I know that everyone deals with things in different ways, but I'm not the type that can just push this out of my mind and focus my energy on everything else. Nothing against anyone here, but many of these posts have confirmed to me that I'm not the Type A typical premed that runs rampant on this forum. I have invested 5 years of my life with someone I wanted to be with forever and why I concede that in the long-term that perspective will necessarily change, it's just not a therapeutic mindset at this point in time. After talking, I think she understands how deeply hurt and betrayed I felt by this and how, if given the opportunity, I'd like to begin to mend things....of course, this is obviously a longshot and I think before we ever got close to being a functional trusting couple again we would need to really hash things out regarding our expectations and hopes for the future. We are taking some time apart to think about why this happened and if there's room for reconciliation, but ultimately the choice seems to be hers. If and when she decides that she might not want to throw away 5 years over nothing, we will still have a lot of talking to do to really begin fixing things. At this point, however, that doesn't seem likely.

I felt the same way and I thought I lost my sanity and started to almost drop the ball with school b/c of what I went through. He was playing around with another girl during our break up and a bit before it so...I gave it time between me and him and thats what you need to do. If you try to work it out I will be honest with you, its going to be a long road to get that same feeling and trust thing back and it may sound harsh, but it took a year and a half to get into back to a semi good relationship again. It might not be wroth all your effort in the end and it might be better to just let it go. I thought I was going to spend the rest of our lives together and maybe in time would could be again? I don't know, but you should consider trying to gradually deattach emotionally. I hope you everything works out for you and keep your head high and think about what it really means to you to achieve your dreams and goals. Going through all this really makes you a stronger and better person.