I have a pathological liar friend. What to do?

[hopefulneuro]

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I have a friend who is a pathological liar. He said that he won the state karate championship in Florida. I asked him when. He said that he couldn't remember exactly when but that he had a trophy on the mantel at his home which would prove it. So this past weekend I was at his house and never saw a trophy on the mantel. I asked, in front of his mother, where the trophy was. She pretended not to hear and he said that he got rid of the trophy years ago because his ex-girlfriend was beaten up by a kid who took karate in gradeschool and it made her upset???? Wtf??

Here's the point. He recently told me that he's already been accepted to a medical school (without having taken the MCATs). I like being around him but I cannot tolerate his incessant lies. I think this is a terrible habit for someone to have and especially for someone who wants to go into medicine. Should I tell him not to go into medicine until he puts a check on this problem? How can I bring this up to him?

 

[thewzdoc]

It’s rare to find a truly “pathological” liar. So he really doesn’t know he is lying to you? Are you a girl he is simply trying to impress with his prowess?

If not then I simply think he is intimidated by the fact that you are going to med school so he feels the need to “one up” by “getting in” without taking the MCAT.

 

[jon stewart]

I have a friend who is a pathological liar. He said that he won the state karate championship in Florida. I asked him when. He said that he couldn't remember exactly when but that he had a trophy on the mantel at his home which would prove it. So this past weekend I was at his house and never saw a trophy on the mantel. I asked, in front of his mother, where the trophy was. She pretended not to hear and he said that he got rid of the trophy years ago because his ex-girlfriend was beaten up by a kid who took karate in gradeschool and it made her upset???? Wtf??

Here's the point. He recently told me that he's already been accepted to a medical school (without having taken the MCATs). I like being around him but I cannot tolerate his incessant lies. I think this is a terrible habit for someone to have and especially for someone who wants to go into medicine. Should I tell him not to go into medicine until he puts a check on this problem? How can I bring this up to him?

beat him up and teach him a lesson 👍


If hes a real freind then he wouldnt be talking like this, tell him that its not cool and to get his act together.

 

[bwells46]

I have a friend who is a pathological liar. He said that he won the state karate championship in Florida. I asked him when. He said that he couldn't remember exactly when but that he had a trophy on the mantel at his home which would prove it. So this past weekend I was at his house and never saw a trophy on the mantel. I asked, in front of his mother, where the trophy was. She pretended not to hear and he said that he got rid of the trophy years ago because his ex-girlfriend was beaten up by a kid who took karate in gradeschool and it made her upset???? Wtf??

Here's the point. He recently told me that he's already been accepted to a medical school (without having taken the MCATs). I like being around him but I cannot tolerate his incessant lies. I think this is a terrible habit for someone to have and especially for someone who wants to go into medicine. Should I tell him not to go into medicine until he puts a check on this problem? How can I bring this up to him?

Ask him where he is going to med school. Then whip out the MSAR or some other book and show him it's impossible to get in without an MCAT score. See what he says then .

 

[criminallyinane]

He could have gotten into an early assurance program his sophomore year. Other than that, he's lying.

 

[jodyleeann]

Ask him where he is going to med school. Then whip out the MSAR or some other book and show him it's impossible to get in without an MCAT score. See what he says then .

Actually it is quite possible to get into med school without taking the MCAT. I go to Texas Tech and we have a deal between the honors program and the medical school. I personally think it's a crock of ****, but thats just me. Anyway, point being that if you enter Texas Tech University as a freshman in the honors college and maintain a 3.25 GPA and take all your pre-reqs you are automatically accepted into the school of medicine during your junior year without ever having to take your MCAT. I know there are other schools that run sort of the same thing. It's pretty rare, but it does happen, just FYI. 🙂

 

[bwells46]

Actually it is quite possible to get into med school without taking the MCAT. I go to Texas Tech and we have a deal between the honors program and the medical school. I personally think it's a crock of ****, but thats just me. Anyway, point being that if you enter Texas Tech University as a freshman in the honors college and maintain a 3.25 GPA and take all your pre-reqs you are automatically accepted into the school of medicine during your junior year without ever having to take your MCAT. I know there are other schools that run sort of the same thing. It's pretty rare, but it does happen, just FYI. 🙂

Ok - I was assuming his friend was meaning he got in through regular admissions.

It sounds to me like if you're in the honors program then you're sound as a pound for medical school. Yeah baby!

 

[jodyleeann]

Ok - I was assuming his friend was meaning he got in through regular admissions.

It sounds to me like if you're in the honors program then you're sound as a pound for medical school. Yeah baby!

Yah. Lucky for me I came in as a transfer student to the Honors college, so I get to go about it the old school way!!! Woo Hoo!! 🙄

 

[thewzdoc]

Actually it is quite possible to get into med school without taking the MCAT. I go to Texas Tech and we have a deal between the honors program and the medical school. I personally think it's a crock of ****, but thats just me. Anyway, point being that if you enter Texas Tech University as a freshman in the honors college and maintain a 3.25 GPA and take all your pre-reqs you are automatically accepted into the school of medicine during your junior year without ever having to take your MCAT. I know there are other schools that run sort of the same thing. It's pretty rare, but it does happen, just FYI. 🙂

True but none of the schools in PA offer this and I think you would be hard pressed to find a school that will accept you from outside the system without an MCAT.

Drexel, Jefferson, PSU, Temple, UPENN, and PITT all require a current MCAT score.

 

[jodyleeann]

True but none of the schools in PA offer this and I think you would be hard pressed to find a school that will accept you from outside the system without an MCAT.

Drexel, Jefferson, PSU, Temple, UPENN, and PITT all require a current MCAT score.

Pretty much everyone does. I had never even heard of this until I came to Tech, and it's probably just because I'm not eligible for it 😛 , but I think it's BS to the extreme. I mean, it really isn't that hard to pull a 2.5 and take 8 or 10 classes. Oh well, some ppl have all the luck, lol.

 

[DrBowtie]

To the OP:
You don't want to have shady people in your inner circle of friends. It can cost you.
Drop him, he can't be THAT fun to hang out with.
"Hey I just beat GTA: San Andreas" - you
"Duh I already beat it like fifty times at Scout camp" - him

 

[jodyleeann]

To the OP:
You don't want to have shady people in your inner circle of friends. It can cost you.
Drop him, he can't be THAT fun to hang out with.
"Hey I just beat GTA: San Andreas" - you
"Duh I already beat it like fifty times at Scout camp" - him

Seriously, hopefulneuro, I'm sorry I totally took your thread in a different direction. I agree with BrettBatchelor completely. I know it's hard when the person is your friend, but I've known people like that and eventually they are going to involve YOU in their lies to other people. It's better to call them out now and deal with it, than to be put in the middle of some bigger, crazier lie he has going on with other people. Good luck!

 

[amnesia]

Some day he'll invite you to a golf tournament. Only, when you arrive, there will be no golf tournament.

So played.

 

[Sundarban1]

Some day he'll invite you to a golf tournament. Only, when you arrive, there will be no golf tournament.

So played.

I would mail him a fake acceptance letter to medical school

 

[jon stewart]

I would mail him a fake acceptance letter to medical school

lmao


thats a good idea! lets come up with a admission letter...or use a real one..haha

 

[AStudent]

I find this whole thread to be trollish.

Sure....you have a "friend" who lies all the time......

 

[jodyleeann]

I would mail him a fake acceptance letter to medical school

"Dear Compulsive Liar: we are pleased to inform you that you are accepted into the only school of medicine in the nation that would accept someone who had not taken the MCAT and that lies regularly to their friends! Congratulations on your acceptance into the Totally Fake Medical School of your Dreams, class of 2010."

 

[Newsradiofan]

Honestly, sometimes these types of people are so unstable that exposing their lies will only cause them to become more unstable or incur their wrath. If his lies are not doing anything overtly harmful to you, just let it go. Its in your best interest to also leave this fellow aside as his lies may become more prevalent the more you hang out with him.

 

[masterMood]

Threaten to chop off his essentials off with your gillette mach3 turbo razor if he doesn't straighten up.

Then give him a Pow-Tay-Toe

 

[hnbui]

tulane has such a program; so does tufts.

I believe hopkins has one too.

 

[hopefulneuro]

I would mail him a fake acceptance letter to medical school

LOl..that's great. I really should too. 👍

 

[MoosePilot]

Why is this person your friend?

If he's got value as a friend, then put the effort into it to maintain the relationship. I think this would involve a talk. If not, then just save some trouble and jettison him.

 

[hopefulneuro]

I find this whole thread to be trollish.

Sure....you have a "friend" who lies all the time......

All you do is call people trolls. Have fun with that amigo.


And it may be tough to understand with that sweet, sweet computer tan of yours that people really do have friends outside of chatrooms. And talking about them does not mean that we're trying to be super dooper tricky as if we're "really, secretly" talking about our concealed, trollish ways.

Next time, think before you speak. Then don't. Dork.

 

[masterMood]

Takes one to know one 👎

 

[topdogg82]

At a summer camp during HS I had a roomate who was a little off/pathological liar similar to your friend. He had this huge stack of comp sci books in our room, and told me he was working on this revolutionary code. So at first I was like sounds good...but then he started talking about how I couldn't tell anyone he was at this camp b/c the FBI were probably going to be looking for him. Thats when I started to think he had a problem. I asked him why and he said a computer program he created malfunctioned and was the reason for the WorldCom fiasco that happened a couple years ago. I guess he didn't lie about everything, but he definitely lived in this imaginary world of his and actually believed this **** that he was spewing. My advice would be to keep your distance from these type of people b/c you never know if or when they're gonna go over the proverbial cliff. You're better off hangin w/ normal ppl.

 

[hopefulneuro]

Takes one to know one 👎

Yea, I suppose that was a bit harsh. I just do not like people who call troll all the time. It serves no significant purpose and clutters up the threads just as much.

So, AStudent, if you're out there, no hard feelings huh? 👍

 

[bwells46]

At a summer camp during HS I had a roomate who was a little off/pathological liar similar to your friend. He had this huge stack of comp sci books in our room, and told me he was working on this revolutionary code. So at first I was like sounds good...but then he started talking about how I couldn't tell anyone he was at this camp b/c the FBI were probably going to be looking for him. Thats when I started to think he had a problem. I asked him why and he said a computer program he created malfunctioned and was the reason for the WorldCom fiasco that happened a couple years ago. I guess he didn't lie about everything, but he definitely lived in this imaginary world of his and actually believed this **** that he was spewing. My advice would be to keep your distance from these type of people b/c you never know if or when they're gonna go over the proverbial cliff. You're better off hangin w/ normal ppl.

Wow... that's all I can to this...

 

[AStudent]

Up yours too ***hole 👍 😀

Yea, I suppose that was a bit harsh. I just do not like people who call troll all the time. It serves no significant purpose and clutters up the threads just as much.

So, AStudent, if you're out there, no hard feelings huh? 👍

 

[BobA]

I think that lying like that usually is trying to make up for an enormous feeling of insecurity. It sounds like you generally like kid other than the lying.

If you fealt the need to do something, I would:

1) be straight with him that he lies all the time, in a non-judgemental way
2) somehow get at the insecurity; let him know that you do like him - other than the lying - and that he doesn't have to lie to you to impress you.

I don't think you need to bring up medicine.

 

[45408]

I find this whole thread to be trollish.

Sure....you have a "friend" who lies all the time......

I think the "friend" is the OP, lying to us about having a pathological liar friend

 

[Bob_Johansson]

a kid i knew once said that he worked for the gov. agency that controls the power grid and he messed up at work which caused the big blackout in nyc a few years ago.

 

[LT2]

in all honesty, i think the compulsive liar is a relatively frequent occurance... i kid you not, i have a "friend" who has:

1. peed on a cop and gotten away with it with no ticket, etc.
2. he swam around the fence at the US/Mexico border because he forgot his ID back in the US
3. he's written his name with an AK-47 on a wall somewhere
4. he's had a girl fall off a second story balcony at a club (unscathed) right in front of him and he ended up going home with her

you get the picture... anyway, he used to be amusing but it really gets old after awhile and you realize you're better off without them. besides, you never want to be in the position where you have to depend on this "friend". i wish you the best.

 

[PostalWookie]

I think the "friend" is the OP, lying to us about having a pathological liar friend

That's what I was about to say. I guess we'll never know, since he/she will just lie about it

 

[dajimmers]

I'm going to go watch A Beautiful Mind and Fight Club now.

 

[jon stewart]

i had a freind once who was a liar, he claimed that he had a ps3, and he backed up his claim that hes dad worked at sony and thats how he got it. Ofcourse we wanted to play and he never showed it to us.....

 

[Dr.Pdizzle]

To the original poster:

Why call him out on it? Why not just run with it, that's what I'd do. Just have fun trading **** stories and get a kick outta it.

Ex:
He tells you he won a surfing contest in Cali last week, you reply,

"No kidding? Last week I wrestled a great white shark and climbed Mount Everest....four times while only having packed 3 capri suns and a peanut butter and chocolate chip granola bar; sounds like we both had a good week!"

 

[seethrew]

in all honesty, i think the compulsive liar is a relatively frequent occurance... i kid you not, i have a "friend" who has:

1. peed on a cop and gotten away with it with no ticket, etc.
2. he swam around the fence at the US/Mexico border because he forgot his ID back in the US
3. he's written his name with an AK-47 on a wall somewhere
4. he's had a girl fall off a second story balcony at a club (unscathed) right in front of him and he ended up going home with her

you get the picture... anyway, he used to be amusing but it really gets old after awhile and you realize you're better off without them. besides, you never want to be in the position where you have to depend on this "friend". i wish you the best.

omg did 1-4 come from the same dood - that is hysterical.... hahhahah ludicroist!!!! tell the full stories!!! 👍

 

[getunconcsious]

That's what I was about to say. I guess we'll never know, since he/she will just lie about it

No, I believe hopefulneuro. There are a lot of compulsive liars rolling around, more than you'd think. I had a friend like that in high school, except she was a girl (most compulsive liars seem to be men for some reason). Anyways she had family in the mafia, had a miniature dolphin which she kept in an aquarium, her room was haunted, and best of all when she was working at Taco Bell claimed that their meat had "Eboli". I asked if she meant E.Coli or Ebola, since one is a bacteria and one is a virus. She replied that "Eboli" is a "bacteriovirus". Yes I am serious, some people are just that sad.

Hopefulneuro, I really would drop this friend because eventually their lies WILL start to include you. For example, my dad died when I was young, and most people in my high school knew that. Well this girl came up with this bizarre story that he was still alive but had molested me and that's why I said he was dead. It was really embarrassing even though few people believed her since she was a known liar. Still though, these people can cause problems for you if they want to. Besides, it's hard to have a real friendship with them cuz you never know who they really are. I'd say drop your friend like he's hott.

 

[criminallyinane]

I've known people who are pathological liars, too. One girl I went to school with came up with the most crazy stories. At first, I believed her because I'm gullible and try to see the best in most folks... when she told me she had been raped, I really felt for her and spent a long time talking to her about it. I felt like a fool when it became obvious that she lies about everything. According to her, she had been raped, kidnapped (on separate occasions), attacked by a pitbull who almost ripped off her whole arm (amazingly, no scars), held hostage in a bank robbery, in a plane crash, etc. Also, she had an operation that went so wrong that afterwards, she was legally dead for 10 minutes, then in a coma for three weeks because the doctors gave her the "wrong medication," then she had to be smuggled out of the hospital because the doctors were keeping her there to do strange experiments on her body. She had a dysfunctional liver because of the operation (apparently, they nicked her liver, although the operation was in her pelvic area...) Because of her dysfunctional liver, she said, she sometimes couldn't poop for weeks on end.

She had many other outrageous stories.

I was frustrated because I didn't know if maybe one of the stories was true and didn't want to call her out on any of them in case one of them really WAS true. Some of them were obviously fake, but I didn't want to call her out on the rape thing because I feel a strong need to allow women the safe space to talk about trauma. She really wore me down. Eventually, I just stopped talking to her.

It's really a sad phenomenon. I think sometimes they can't cope with life in general, so calling them on it and raising their stress level will cause them to lie more. If you want to be a friend to a pathological liar, hats off to you, they need friends, I think. But be careful. Steer the conversation away from their lies when they bring them up.

 

[amojan99]

I have a friend who is a pathological liar. He said that he won the state karate championship in Florida. I asked him when. He said that he couldn't remember exactly when but that he had a trophy on the mantel at his home which would prove it. So this past weekend I was at his house and never saw a trophy on the mantel. I asked, in front of his mother, where the trophy was. She pretended not to hear and he said that he got rid of the trophy years ago because his ex-girlfriend was beaten up by a kid who took karate in gradeschool and it made her upset???? Wtf??

Here's the point. He recently told me that he's already been accepted to a medical school (without having taken the MCATs). I like being around him but I cannot tolerate his incessant lies. I think this is a terrible habit for someone to have and especially for someone who wants to go into medicine. Should I tell him not to go into medicine until he puts a check on this problem? How can I bring this up to him?

Maybe he just lied about not having taken the MCATs

 

[emster]

pfffft this is the funniest freakin thread ever. Well, sad and funny. I'm with DrPdizzle, tho. Mt everest and a great white...nice

 

[LucidSplash]

I say it is possible to be friendly with this person, although the friendship will probably be wearing on you, but you just have to watch out.

My sophomore year roommate was a compulsive liar. She started with "stories" about herself - and people believed them because they all started as a little extreme but still possible. But as such things do they grew and grew and grew until it was just ridiculous. But as someone else said, no one really wanted to call her out because they weren't really ever sure if something was based on a small truth, etc. But then she began telling "stories" about other people - pretty nasty ones. Until everyone figured it out, they were having a pretty destructive effect on other relationships. She went through 4 completely different sets of friends during her 4 years in college (for the most part) because every year, her friends from the previous year didn't want to have anything to do with her because of her lies.

So just be careful, and make sure you and everyone else around her watches their step. You can avoid the pitfalls as long as you keep yourself aware.

Oh - and now my ex-roommate is in medical school. 👎

 

[masterMood]

lmao eboli --- a bacteriovirus ha ha nice

 

[SpyPuts]

It's pretty common for children to make up such aggrandizing stories, but less so for college-aged adults.

I think if you know enough people, you will have inevitably run into one or more people with this "problem." I have an acquaintance from HS who attends the same college as I do and who often lies about his physical & mental prowess, drunken misadventures, travel experiences, etc. He's not a close friend, so I often just let it slide and excuse myself from the conversation to spare his feelings. (I guess if I really cared about him, I'd be upfront and tell him that he has a real problem, but I digress.) I find it hilarious, though, when others challenge him on specific points and he attempts to back-pedal and change the topic of conversation.

This person has claimed to:
Maintain a GPA anywhere from 3.4-4.0.
Run for the school's DI cross-country team.
"Love organic chemistry" - a boast made after high school, before he earned a C in Orgo I and a B in Orgo II.
Be "tight" with people from high school who frequently made fun of him.
Have multiple girlfriends which nobody he knew had ever met (only came to our attention because his parents would ask him about different girlfriends in front of people who knew him to be single).

There seems to be about 2 groups of liars out there. There are those that are intelligent enough to pick their boasts carefully and will never be caught in a lie for as long as they live, and then there are the former type who cannot seem to determine which settings are appropriate and which audiences will see straight through their BS. This type of behavior seems to make everyone uncomfortable and is pretty self-degrading, but it's also pretty funny when taken in context. I guess I don't correct him for fear of upsetting the order of things or for eliminating an entertaining thread of conversation (when he's not around obviously) that comes up at least once or twice a month.

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

i once met a guy like this
the trick is to lie better than them. be honest with everyone - except them. make up outlandish stories about what you did last saturday - your fake job at Wong' cafe and the night you helped diana ross tie her shoe laces because she was unable to stop playing the banjo on the city buss line because the homeless people would riot if she took a intermission.

 

[Turkeyman]

Fake martial artist eh?

Kill him.

JK! But kill him.

Met toooooo many of those over the years 🙁

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

I say it is possible to be friedly with this person, although the friendship will probably be wearing on you, but you just have to watch out.

My sophomore year roommate was a compulsive liar. She started with "stories" about herself - and people believed them because they all started as a little extreme but still possible. But as such things do they grew and grew and grew until it was just ridiculous. But as someone else said, no one really wanted to call her out because they weren't really ever sure if something was based on a small truth, etc. But then she began telling "stories" about other people - pretty nasty ones. Until everyone figured it out, they were having a pretty destructive effect on other relationships. She went through 4 completely different sets of friends during her 4 years in college (for the most part) because every year, her friends from the previous year didn't want to have anything to do with her because of her lies.

So just be careful, and make sure you and everyone else around her watches their step. You can avoid the pitfalls as long as you keep yourself aware.

Oh - and now my ex-roommate is in medical school. 👎

it wont be weary if you amuse yourself with this persons disorder
i say you can always have fun even if your buddy is the one with the REAL problem.
PM me if you need to hear how i delt with the eszema man on the 18 hr flight (hint: it involved mashed potatoe flakes and me howling and scratching them out of my shirt sleves).

 

[fateema368]

Rutgers has a program for minorities through a smaller private college, and a general Joint BA/MD Information For Both The Robert Wood Johnson And The New Jersey Medical School Program what medical college did he say he was going to? He may not be lying, if you don't trust him don't hang around him, or you can just keep him around and be constantly amused.

 

[Steiner]

Inject Sodium Pentathol into his neck Jack Burns style. Then take him to a wedding reception and make him give a speech. Then have him hit on your mom and tell your dad your pregnant. Then he'll faint.

Seriously if this persons lies don't affect you, let them be. Calling them out will just produce bigger lies and anger. I'm sure if they're really in med school some professional will call them out on their lies. Like everyone says--phase them out. If you're a guy you should have instinctual mastery of the phase out.

 

[45408]

One of my friend's younger brothers has this habit. I usually call him on it, because I know he has this habit.