Thanks for the encouragement. I never thought I'd get so much love and support on SDN. It's nice to know that the future of the medical profession is not all status-obsessed gunners.
I'm never giving up my dream of being a physician. I'll do a grad program if I have to. In fact, I found a really neat one that seems to fit all my interests that I just applied to (but it's kinda hard to get into). Hopefully that would give me the extra "oomph" I need, and since it's a 2-year program, I'll hopefully be married and US PR by the time I apply again. At the same time, I'm getting a bit impatient and want to be a doctor NOW. Every time I shadow, I have this feeling of belonging, of needing to be a part of it... it's a yearning that is difficult to explain. I want to devote my life to serving others and indulging in my love and curiosity for the human body... I just hope I get the chance. Whenever I see people applying for the money or parental pride part of me dies inside, when I realize I don't care about money, I just want to do what I love to do for the rest of my life - and yet these people are getting in over me for silly reasons.
Regardless, I'm lucky I have such a wonderful, supportive fiancé who said he would move with me if I get into medical school so he could be there for me.