I Married a Secondary

[Adam Smasher]

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ttt

 

[DrYoda]

I approve 👍.

 

[Vihsadas]

This entire thing is genious, but this is definitely my favorite

The secondary says: “This essay is optional.”
She says: “Really, Honey, you don’t need to get me anything for our anniversary…”

 

[Begaster]

At least wives occasionally put out. I tried to get freaky with my secondary and have little more than a paper-cut to show for it. 🙁

 

[majahops]

I second the approval.

 

[majahops]

mine too

This entire thing is genious, but this is definitely my favorite

 

[silverhorse84]

My favorite is this one:

The secondary says: “Our school prides itself on its unique approach to blah blah blah…”
She says: “Hey, my eyes are up here!”

 

[Adam Smasher]

ttt

 

[Artimacia]

The secondary says: “This essay is optional.”
She says: “Really, Honey, you don’t need to get me anything for our anniversary…”

This is my favorite one because I act like that sometimes hahaha

 

[Livingapparatus]

 

[bcat85]

you have entirely too much time on your hands.

 

[majahops]

dude, I dont know why, but I just spent like 4 minutes straight laughing at the quote in your signature line. It's just so good it's just so good.

My favorite is this one:

 

[silverhorse84]

dude, I dont know why, but I just spent like 4 minutes straight laughing at the quote in your signature line. It's just so good it's just so good.

Glad I could entertain you... 😉

 

[Neuro415]

 

[EpiPEN]

this deserves a sticky

 

[Nevadanteater]

I have a huge love/hate relationship with SDN.

It is threads like these that keep me (just barely) on the love side.

 

[Raryn]

I <3 this thread. I mean... this one is the best:

The secondary says: "What is your greatest weakness?"
She says: "Do I look fat?"

 

[Lacheln]

Very clever!

 

[zpiff]

👍 Thanks for this!

 

[Oceaner]

Any woman intelligent and confident enough to be applying to medical school should know that these generalizations do not apply to her and thus need not be offended.
...
The secondary says: "What is your greatest weakness?"
She says: "Do I look fat?"

So these generalizations only apply to stupid women? or if a women is offended is she being stupid? hehe /🙄

The secondary says: "What is your greatest weakness?"
He says: "Am I too small?"

*wait... no he doesn't because he thinks he is magnificent.

 

[beachblonde]

The secondary says: “This essay is optional.”
She says: “Really, Honey, you don’t need to get me anything for our anniversary…”

Yes! So true! We live in a world of "optional" where optional really means "do this or else your butt is getting kicked."

 

[inhiding]

A preemptive apology: What I am describing below is an exaggeration. Any man intelligent and confident enough to be applying to medical school should know that these generalizations do not apply to him and thus need not be offended.

The secondary says: “Describe your most significant life experience.”
He says: “What do girls do at sleepovers?”

The secondary says: “Describe your particular interest in our school.”
He says: “Will you bring me beer with those chicken wings?”

The secondary says: “What can you contribute to academic diversity?”
He says: “Any chance of a threesome?”

The secondary says: “This essay is optional.”
He says: “Don't wait up, I won't be home for dinner.”

The secondary says: “What is your greatest weakness?”
He says: “Am I too small?”

The secondary says: “Our school prides itself on its unique approach to blah blah blah…”
He says: “How could you not like me? I'm smart, ripped, and successful blah blah blah”

The secondary says: “Please include your $75 application fee.”
He says: “I hope your job can support me and two kids”

 

[Adam Smasher]

ttt

 

[Oceaner]

The secondary says: “Please include your $75 application fee.”
He says: “I hope your job can support me and two kids”

lol...

clever... I love you inhiding... why are you inhiding? 😉

 

[Amaranthinemoxi]

absolutely superb. really needed some humor today...

 

[inhiding]

Likewise, I was hoping I wouldn't need to explain my joke.

The purpose of my post was to illustrate the striking similarities between secondary questions and the questions asked of women by the men in their lives. (I got more inspiration from numerous ex-boyfriends than my current loser of choice.) These include questions about topics we don't care about and questions that only have wrong answers.

If making jokes about potential feminine insecurities, values, concerns, and manners makes you feel good, do it. I welcome the balance. Just find more direct analogies to secondary questions and/or the overall admissions process.

 

[Adam Smasher]

ttt

 

[RoadRunner17]

If your post had a unique purpose, why did you copy my format? Why did you wait for me to start this thread before sharing with us your insights?

I think you have an evil twin sister somewhere... in hiding..

 

[inhiding]

So these generalizations only apply to stupid women? or if a women is offended is she being stupid? hehe /🙄

The secondary says: “What is your greatest weakness?”
He says: “Am I too small?”

*wait... no he doesn't because he thinks he is magnificent.

My inspiration...😉

If your post had a unique purpose, why did you copy my format? Why did you wait for me to start this thread before sharing with us your insights?

I couldn't resist presenting your very witty and unique analogy from a woman's perspective. Is that ok? I mean, I assume you're a confident, intelligent man who would take no issue with a little gender-sparring, correct?

I think you have an evil twin sister somewhere... in hiding..

shh....i'm hiding

 

[scarletgirl777]

My inspiration...😉




I couldn't resist presenting your very witty and unique analogy from a woman's perspective. Is that ok? I mean, I assume you're a confident, intelligent man who would take no issue with a little gender-sparring, correct?




shh....i'm hiding

Your response is so WIN. Nicely done👍

 

[Geekchick921]

This entire thing is genious, but this is definitely my favorite

Mine too.

 

[Adam Smasher]

ttt

 

[liverfingers]

My real beef is that you ripped off my creativity, and your best joke was originally posted by Oceaner (good job btw). I figured you were more interested in picking a fight than doing anything original. Anyway, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I appreciate the thread bumps.

You're such a tool!

 

[student1799]

My real beef is that you ripped off my creativity, and your best joke was originally posted by Oceaner (good job btw). I figured you were more interested in picking a fight than doing anything original. Anyway, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I appreciate the thread bumps.

Turnabout is fair play. And they were both funny, so what's the point of arguing about it?

 

[liverfingers]

Turnabout is fair play. And they were both funny, so what's the point of arguing about it?

He just wants all the attention on a relatively anonymous online message board from people he'll probably never meet in real life. 👍

 

[psy]

I find the OP's post to be the funnier of the two because his analogies are more fitting. To OP: Don't worry about other people "taking" your ideas because so far I haven't seen anything better than your original post. 🙂

 

[inhiding]

Turnabout is fair play.

Yep.

My real beef is that you ripped off my creativity, and your best joke was originally posted by Oceaner (good job btw).

Oceaner: I sincerely and humbly apologize for the uncopyrighted use of your joke. I will gladly provide you with 100% of all royalties and/or internet props that may result from my tasteless and blatant plagiarism. 😀

Smasher: I parodied your parody. Who is the greater thief? (Does it matter?)

**Come on man, enough chat. I'm waiting for the sequel...Bring it on. You've got a challenger .***

 

[Alongtheway]

this thread really compelled me to sign up...

inhiding was that really necessary? you know your post just fed the machine right?

adam smasher - hilarious.

end

 

[genswim24]

I find the OP's post to be the funnier of the two because his analogies are more fitting. To OP: Don't worry about other people "taking" your ideas because so far I haven't seen anything better than your original post. 🙂

I second that notion, except for oceaner's line, that too was very funny

 

[12six]

The secondary says: “Describe your most significant life experience.”
She says: “Honey, tell me about your day.”

The secondary says: “This essay is optional.”
She says: “Really, Honey, you don’t need to get me anything for our anniversary…”

The secondary says: “What is your greatest weakness?”
She says: “Do I look fat?”

You know these are perfect when you were thinking the same thing when you looked over your own secondaries! Hehe kudos Adam Smasher, totally awesome analogies, hilarious and -mostly - they fit like a glove.

No slight to inhiding, those just feel contrived, a little forced, and have a kind of "Oh, yeah? Well, you too!" feel to them. I mean, the guy even wrote a pre-emptive disclaimer lol... and remember, he says he was talkin' bout his mama!! (jk smasher) so let's try to keep from getting too offended here

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

bump

 

[phospho]

bump

this was hilarious...till "inhiding" decided to show up... but definitely an awesome thread!