I need advice...about to get a divorce.

[Excelsius]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I think you meant to say is be a HUman since gender here is irrelevant. It would be the same case if the OP was female and the SO was male. I totally agree with your sine wave analogy (I've oft used that same comparison before) - how truly geeky!

What? Another physics or math major? My sine wave analogy is copyrighted. Hahahahaha

When I read the beginning part of your post, I thought "oh ****, a feminist trying to point out my mistake." But then I saw the rest of your post...

I agree, it applies to both genders. However, I phrased it that way because it seems that the vast majority of the time it is specifically males who cannot get their feelings out and admit a mistake. So in many ways it is apropos. Nevertheless, I should have used better wording since I don't like stereotypes either.

 

[PharmaTope]

I think that is great advice, APD.
As a woman, I feel like telling someone he/she is depressed is like something a lot of guys do when they are frustrated. "We haven't been getting along, therefore YOU must be the problem". At least that's how it might sound to her.

And you are not being a downer, Patch. We're all here to try and help. Residency and fellowship can by trying to ANY relationship, no matter how strong it started out.

I'm also wondering that since you guys have been together since you were so young, maybe she's feeling like she never got a chance to find out who she is, independent from you. I mean, what has she been able to do except follow you around from place to place as you've been pursuing 5+ years of medical training (not even counting the premed years). Women get a lot of social pressure that we have to be nice and accommodating. Sometimes we have to carve out something for ourselves...I mean, how would you feel if you'd be hanging in there as the trusty companion for 5 or 10 years while she pursued her life's dream and you just kind of sat there, along for the ride. I'm not saying this is all your fault, I'm just saying....I wonder what her dreams are for her life, other than having some kids, which is definitely a worthy goal.

do a lot of women feel this way? that is kinda scary. how do women ultimately figure that out? break up for a while?

never heard of this before but can see that some would feel that way.

 

[rph3664]

Docs who have had their wives put them through school and then ditched their wives are a dime a dozen. Before you do it, try to make sure whether it's the right thing for both of you.

In recent decades, there have been an increasing number of women who used a man to put them through school and then dumped him upon graduation, and there are probably gay couples who have experienced this as well.

You can make a MUCH cleaner break if you have no children.