throwawayaccount2023
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- Joined
- Jul 17, 2018
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I got my MCAT scores back, and it was a 510. I get that it's a good score and I should be happy, but my 125 in bio/biochem leaves me completely distraught. I know it's below 10th percentile for a lot of schools in state according to MSAR. Combined with an average GPA, I don't feel like I have a chance anymore.
I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts this past year, and this MCAT feels like a final blow. It's hard, but no matter how hard I try, there's just this repeated comment in my mind, "you're not good enough." Being a doctor means everything to me, and the one thing I look forward to in the future. And the idea of that being taken away from me is terrifying. I'm sick and tired of being the average in the class, the underdog of a group of friends. I work my ass off, and I still am never good enough. I hoped a good MCAT would offset my 3.75, but this 125 wrecked me. And before anyone gets on my case asking if this is a troll, it's not. It's really not. You've heard of people with body dysmorphic disorder, it's kind of like that for me, but with academics. I'm so tired of not being good enough, and terrified for this application cycle. I have tried to take my life before and found comfort in friends and this subreddit. I guess I'm looking to y'all now, I'm scared. I'm scared I won't get into a med school. I read the freak posts on here about people with 3.9s and 520+ who get rejected from state schools and from DO schools, and I can't help wonder if I'll be like that. I don't have freak stats, I'm just average as usual. I'm always average. There's nothing that sets me apart or helps me stand out. I've already submitted primaries, so I'll to apply to this cycle anyways. How screwed am I? What should I do? I'm scared. I'm tired. I want to give up.
Being a premed is so freaking hard. The stress of it all is eating away at me. Stress about grades, stress about MCAT, stress about essays, letters of rec, stress about volunteering hours, shadowing hours, research, leadership, stress about everything. There are so many hoops to jump and I know I've just checked all the boxes off as an average applicant. I'm sick of being average.
I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts this past year, and this MCAT feels like a final blow. It's hard, but no matter how hard I try, there's just this repeated comment in my mind, "you're not good enough." Being a doctor means everything to me, and the one thing I look forward to in the future. And the idea of that being taken away from me is terrifying. I'm sick and tired of being the average in the class, the underdog of a group of friends. I work my ass off, and I still am never good enough. I hoped a good MCAT would offset my 3.75, but this 125 wrecked me. And before anyone gets on my case asking if this is a troll, it's not. It's really not. You've heard of people with body dysmorphic disorder, it's kind of like that for me, but with academics. I'm so tired of not being good enough, and terrified for this application cycle. I have tried to take my life before and found comfort in friends and this subreddit. I guess I'm looking to y'all now, I'm scared. I'm scared I won't get into a med school. I read the freak posts on here about people with 3.9s and 520+ who get rejected from state schools and from DO schools, and I can't help wonder if I'll be like that. I don't have freak stats, I'm just average as usual. I'm always average. There's nothing that sets me apart or helps me stand out. I've already submitted primaries, so I'll to apply to this cycle anyways. How screwed am I? What should I do? I'm scared. I'm tired. I want to give up.
Being a premed is so freaking hard. The stress of it all is eating away at me. Stress about grades, stress about MCAT, stress about essays, letters of rec, stress about volunteering hours, shadowing hours, research, leadership, stress about everything. There are so many hoops to jump and I know I've just checked all the boxes off as an average applicant. I'm sick of being average.
