I Neeeeeeeeeeeeed Help!

[scienceisbeauty]

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Ah, I feel like such a hog. I've posted 3 questions and I don't think (except for once) helped to answer questions other people had 🙁 I guess partly because I didn't know the answer...not because I was mean. I hope someone posts a question that I can help to answer/give my opinion on so I don't feel like such a question-asker hog.
Anyway, I do NEED help.
I want to get into Clinical Psych so badly that I'm almost literally willing to give up an arm and a leg for it. I so always feel like I'm not good enough to get in (I gave my stats in I think in a post titled "Questions!"). Surprisingly, I got good encouragement from those responding!! 🙂 But... Now...I just feel like so I'll never be happy unless I get in. I feel like there will be nothing in my life, not family, not friends, not health, not anything in the whole world that will make me happy if I don't get in. That. Scares. Me.
Does anyone else ever feel the same way? I.Don't.Know.What.To.Do.
Does anyone have suggestions on how I can increase my odds of getting in?


THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAANNNKKSSS!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I often say that for some people, they really can't see themselves doing anything else. I think during the entire application process (sorting through schools, applying, interviewing, etc) it can be really intense, but it should get better.

-t

 

[Ollie123]

Best advice I can give for you is to try and relax🙂 You seem to be on the right track, so I expect you will be fine. Keep doing what your doing, can't remember if you've taken the GREs yet or not, but study hard for those if you haven't. Aim for 1300+ and if you can get that, your GREs may not open doors for you, but they DEFINITELY won't close any. Apply broadly to 10+ schools and people whose research you have a genuine interest in, and I think you'll be fine.

And remember....if you don't make it in, you aren't alone. Take a year or two off and work full time as an RA, then give it another go. Those 1-2 years can make all the difference in the world.

 

[RayneeDeigh]

Oh don't worry! Back in January/February/March when everyone was getting acceptances like crazy, I was collecting a nice stack of rejection letters. I thought I would handle it a lot better than I did (I took a lot of 15-hour naps which is ridiculous). I thought for sure my life wouldn't move forward if I didn't get in first try. But... after a while I relaxed, I started looking for RA positions for the next year, I started getting prepared for research I could be doing on my thesis in the extra year. Then all of a sudden in early April I got a call with an offer from a good school. So the moral of the story is... just relax. Do your best to make yourself a good applicant, and then try to find Plan Bs in the meantime. You'll feel much better.

 

[blindblonde]

I'm just going to echo Ollie and Raynee on this one. Take a deep breath and relax. We all know what you are going through--trust me. I will say that this site did help me cope the past few months. I had crying spells and stressful moments. And yes, I did not get into a Ph.D. program--but I got into an excellent masters program. You just have to keep things in perspective. Best case scenario: you get in, you get good funding, and by this time next year, you will be looking forward to the next phase of your life. Worst case scenario: You don't get in, and you just try again. What you (and all of us) are expecting of yourself is a lot. You among a pool of applicants competing for one of the hardest programs to get admitted. And if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Corny, yes, but true. I think I saw on SDN that there was this guy who applied three times and finally got into a Ph.D. program (a damn good one if I recall). You just have to want to do this, and not give up if things don't go your way the first time around.

 

[JockNerd]

Well, I can only reiterate that I think your application is very strong. Apply to programs where you feel a strong fit and make sure the profs you want to work with are taking someone.

I know it often really feels like there has to be *just one more thing* you can do to bump your application up just a little more. Programs are really competitive and you really have to make sure your application stand out. I think everyone here feels where you're at.

From what you posted, it seems like you're saying that there's a HUGE amount of fear about the consequences of not getting in--which is a pretty reasonable thing to fear, really. I think it might be a good idea to swing by your university's counseling centre for a drop-in, if they offer it. If nothing else, it really helps to get these things off your chest in-person. I yakked about applicants during therapy almost every session. Friends who aren't psych applicants just don't understand!! 🙂

 

[psychwanabe]

I'm just going to echo Ollie and Raynee on this one. Take a deep breath and relax. We all know what you are going through--trust me. I will say that this site did help me cope the past few months. I had crying spells and stressful moments.

Ahh, yes, remember the old days when we were the ones stressing out blindblonde? Well, to the OP I can only reiterate what has already been said.

First: chill out
Second: Match, match, match! If you choose the right school and the right professor (meaning that you match their research interests) you increase your chances of getting in exponentially. Don't be tied by geographics. Be willling to move, by yourself, to the middle of nowhere for the right school.
Third: chill out. 😉 Your world will not crash in if you don't get in (we know from experience), and life will go on.

 

[amy203]

Make a detailed list/timeline of all the things you need to get done before your applications, and focus on completing those items one step at a time. Stop focusing on the end result.

Don't allow yourself to obsess for more than 15 minutes at a time. You might even consider a stopwatch. Worry for 15 minutes, then force yourself to move on to something else.

Finally, remember that your application can always be improved. I think people get into a frame of mind where they view their acceptance or non-acceptance to grad school as a judgment on an innate and unchangeable personal characteristic; that if they don't get in, it means they just aren't smart enough and never will be. Of course this is silly! You can retake your GRE, or get a great job as an RA with a respected mentor, or get into a masters program and publish your thesis. When you start to freak out, don't start thinking "Oh my gosh, if I don't get in, I'll never be a clinical psychologist and then I'll die!" Instead, repeat this mantra: "If I don't get in this year, I will get a job as an RA/enter a masters program, and I will get in next time."

This may not be as much of an issue for you, but I have a tendency to "freeze" when I want something really badly. I waste a lot of time worrying about whether I'm good enough and what I will do if things don't work out. After a certain point, this sort of thinking isn't productive.

I know you were looking for more concrete advice, but people have already offered some good stuff (don't forget to check past threads - there's one called "Advice to Future SDNers" that is excellent), and I think learning to calm down was actually one of the most important components of my getting into graduate school. You've got a busy 6 months ahead of you and focusing on what you need to get done, rather than whether you will "ever be happy" is going to make you much more productive.

Good luck!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

(don't forget to check past threads - there's one called "Advice to Future SDNers" that is excellent)

Here ya go. 😉

-t

 

[psychwanabe]

This may not be as much of an issue for you, but I have a tendency to "freeze" when I want something really badly. I waste a lot of time worrying about whether I'm good enough and what I will do if things don't work out. After a certain point, this sort of thinking isn't productive.

I do this too. I usually spend the time playing solitare rather than worrying though. I wonder which is more maladaptive? 🙄