I think I know why.....

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by bigdirt, Mar 7, 2001.

  1. bigdirt

    bigdirt Member

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    I thought about this a bit and this is what I think:

    The reason the fortunate people out there post topics on this forum about multiple acceptances may be because they can't exactly talk about it with their friends who may be going through the app process as well. You see, maybe these people (out of consideration for the feelings of their not-as-fortunate friends) don't ask their advice and instead opt for posting on a public forum where people are essentially nameless.

    Actually, I think the fact that no one is actually talking to each other face to face makes it very easy to forget just how human each person on this forum is. Maybe the faceless-ness of this type of communication allows people to set aside their usual inhibitions about hurting other people's feelings or simply being considerate.

    I really think the flaw here is in the mode of communication. I'm sure the people who have been accepted to more than one school will probably make good doctors and that we can't judge their level of compassion from their posts here. This is just another side-effect of the use of internet.

    Anyway, this is the type of stuff that I think about as I drive in rush hour traffic.
     
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  3. doctorperez

    doctorperez Jesus was a dissident

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    If this is what you think of when you are in rush hour traffic , I would bet my chips that you should make an awesome doctor! . Cheers! [​IMG]
     
  4. Cobragirl

    Cobragirl Hoohaa helper ;)

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    I'm actually going through that myself right now. I posted about my acceptance here and was delighted by the number of "friends" that have congratulated me...but it isn't the same in my "real" world. The truth is that I have 2 good friends/classmates whom I've been in a pre-med honor society with for about 3 years that haven't been accepted yet. On top of that, it's their second year of applying and only my first. Naturally, I WANTED to get accepted, but I REALLY DID want my friends to get accepted first. Now I'm in a stange position. I want to confide in them the feeling of total elation that I have right now, but at the same time, I can't for fear of hurting their fragile egos right now. I KNOW they will both get accepted...and I KNOW that they will be great docs...I just wish it would happen soon so I could celebrate with them instead of walking on eggshells.

    PS- due to the small size of my school, the ENTIRE biology department (and the students) knew of my acceptance when I went to class Tuesday. People I don't even know are congratulating me, which is very nice of them, but I feel a little funny about it because of my friends. Sometimes humility is a really hard thing to accomplish....
     
  5. kris

    kris Senior Member

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    Bigdirt,
    I think you're probably right about the anonymity/medium phenomenon (at least in many cases). I thought the same thing as I was reading posts here. This really hit me as I was being somewhat obnoxious in an email I wrote to some poor soul who was responsible for getting the Oregon tax stuff online. As soon as I decided to sign my real name, I actually reworded some of what I wrote. I vowed when I joined SDN that I'd try to post here only what I'd be proud to sign my full name to. That whole anonymity phenomenon can be a curse. It's just so easy to let loose when the social constraints are gone. I guess I'm referring more to those who are hostile and thoughtless rather than those who are posting their good fortune. Okay, this is way too deep for me. There's serious TV watching to be done.
    --kris

    [This message has been edited by kris (edited 03-07-2001).]
     
  6. Ryu

    Ryu Member

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    CapitalistMD, read what BIGDIRT has written. What you have written, CaptialistMD, really shows that you should spend more time in the real world instead of in this forum. Experience more things in life, then I think a year later when you look back at the post you wrote, you will laugh at your impulse of writing such silly thing.
     
  7. pcl

    pcl Senior Member

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    I would agree with that thought. It is easier to ask a question of a large anonymous group than to ask your one or two friends who have similar (or better) stats who for some reason have been waitlisted or will be going to a school they are not 100% happy with.

    Not all of us are in undergrad either, which complicates the decision making process. It's pretty easy to re-locate from one college campus to another, to continue the student lifestyle... but when you are selling a home, quitting a career and a steady paycheck, uprooting your spouse/family, I think it is at least justified to ask others about their experiences in a new place. Another person's experience is not a substitute for your own judgement, but it can help to paint a more complete picture of what you are getting into, add different impressions to the one or two day perception that you developed. It helps you avoid mistakes and re-create sucesses that others have had.

    I don't think people are trying to be selfish, nasty, or inconsiderate when they make these posts, I think they are simply asking for information, other points of view to weigh with their own. I realize that where to go is not as big of a crisis as IF you will go, but no one can occupy two spaces... traffic rules say that you can only hold one acceptance by May 15th...the spots people are holding WILL become available... I am certain that if any of you were in the "undecided" position, you would not want to make a decision until you had all the information possible.

    Sometimes these posts can come across a bit rough, but I don't think anyone intends it that way. You just can't read tone in black and white...
     
  8. CapitalistMD

    CapitalistMD New Member

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    Actually, I laughed when I wrote it. It was intended as a satire of other posts I have been reading recently. If my was post is read as it was intended, it supports the statements made by bigdirt and pcl.
     
  9. Hallie

    Hallie Member

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    bigdirt-
    what a great post!!!! i am very impressed that you chose to look on the bright side of potentially offensive behavior. isn't it funny how easy it is to think other people are jerks sometimes - and when you find out their real story, they turn out to be quite the opposite. your empathy is a quality that will serve you well in the future - in your family, with your patients, and in society in general. i will keep your post in mind as i react to people who rub me the wrong way in the future.
    thank you,
    hallie
     
  10. lilycat

    Moderator Emeritus

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    Bigdirt -- excellent post, and I very much agree with your rationale. I think the fact that either people don't have a large circle of premed friends or don't feel comfortable discussing the process with those friends at length is what drives people to these boards in the first place. I know that is what made me seek it out this summer -- I only had 2 other friends applying, and at a certain point, it gets uncomfortable sharing and comparing info. -- it seems like someone is always going to be down about it, unless you get the exact same opportunities.
     
  11. SocialistMD

    SocialistMD Resident Objectivist

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    bigdirt-
    You may be correct. However, I do not believe it excuses people from forgetting that they are dealing with human beings on this site. It does not take that long to figure out how to best word things to be the least offensive. Be specific in what advice you are seeking. State your concerns with each school. Peachfuzz did a beautiful job. After the initial statement was made, the question was asked with regards to why residencies chosen by UCSF grads tended to be in California. This was one of the concerns. Advice can be offered here. To expect people to blindly guess what exactly your concerns are is insane. How can I offer advice when I do not know with what you are even concerned? Bravo, peachfuzz! You proposed a solution to my problem with those seeking advice on their multiple acceptances.
     

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