Hello there. I will attempt to keep this brief but also provide sufficient information.
I am a 27-year-old RN, CCRN. I work in critical care (pulmonary/coronary), and I've been a nurse for six years. I am partnered and have no kids. I also will not have any kids, as I am with another man (and we do not want kids).
I have been accepted into graduate school for Adult-Gerontology Acute-Care Nurse-Practitioner.
I never actually wanted to become a nurse. In fact, as a child, I always claimed that I would become a physician. Eventually, after high school I went the nursing route, I immediately took my prerequisites, and applied to the associate nursing degree program at my community college. The decision to pursue a nursing degree was fueled by pragmatic reasons. I was the son of a single-mother, she held no college education, and we were also financially disadvantaged. I had three years of schooling and was able to clear 65-70K in Houston.
Time passed and I became complacent. I enjoyed the money I made, and I even stalled on my plans to pursue my BSN. I had eventual plans to become a CRNA or NP, and I knew I needed to get my BSN. So, here I am now. Six years later, I will be done with my BSN in July and start NP school in August.
However, obtaining this BSN has reminded me that I DO NOT like the nursing model. I am so tired of learning "nursing theory", I can't believe how heavily focused my BSN has been on psychosocial theories. I am not saying they have no value, but they absolutely BORE me to death and I feel so uninspired. I am so tired of writing essays about nursing/humanistic and psychosocial theories, and I feel like I am wasting my time, energy, and life on making beautiful papers.
My best experiences with academics so far have been taking my math and science courses (I took the science for science majors courses), and the nursing courses in my ADN that were clinically inclined (pharmacology, complex disease concepts, health assessment). Even THEN, I feel like I was deprived because the depth of learning was never too deep.
I want the education the medical student receives. I want to be challenged academically, I want to learn the human body in depth. I want to understand how we function down to the molecular level, I want to learn the pathophysiology down to the cellular and biochemical level. I want to feel like I am not wasting my time writing useless papers. I am afraid the MSN/NP route will be just an extension of the fluff, with clinical/science knowledge sprinkled in between with a few clinical hours. In fact, my friend is going to NP school and she told me her professor flat out told her not to worry about the details of how the drug works and just know the main points. That shocked me, and it saddened me. I want to know: How does this drug work? WHY is this the drug of choice? I want to understand, not just memorize facts and be a robot.
But I am also scared that I am just in love with the academic pursuit/knowledge of medicine/science, and that I will hate being a doctor. As a nurse, I've been so burned out, especially as an ICU nurse. I am not sure if I am just tired of caring for patients overall? burned out of ICU/critical care? or just bedside work/nursing? Sometimes I truly hate my job, it can be a great deal of stress. As nurses, we have our set of expectations, and I hope everyone reading understands that our responsibilities extend beyond following orders, especially in the ICU at a teaching hospital. Sometimes, it's not even the stress/high stakes of critical care, but dealing with patients, and especially FAMILIES. I realize as an MD I will also deal with families, but I also realize I won't deal with them 12 hours directly/nonstop.
Being that I am so late in the game (27 years old), and still have to take a considerable amount of courses, I am afraid of going down the MD route and finding out I made an error.
I am very much aware doctors are burning out at a fast rate, the demands are increasing, the stress of dealing with the politics of medicine/insurance companies, and the loss of power doctors are experiencing over medicine to men in suits/CEO's. I am aware residency is tough, grueling, and will require all my time, and I am aware I will lose my current financial status (I gross anywhere from 85-90K/ year).
I've been told to do the NP route and learn the science on my own time, to be curious on my own time, and to satisfy my inquiry and curiosity on the side.
I have a true love for science and medicine. I want to know more. I want to know the human body. My A&P teacher once pulled me aside and told me that I needed to apply to medical school, and I think back, and I regret I did not apply. My coworker also keeps telling me I should apply, she says I am wasting my time. I love the idea of being able to learn medicine.
Any thoughts? Would you choose medicine again? or midlevel provider? What burns you out the most?
If someone asked me "why do you want to become a doctor?" I would say:
I want to possess in-depth knowledge about human physiology, disease, and treatments. I want to understand how all these concepts are related/connected. How is the function related to the dysfunction? How does the dysfunction manifest in symptoms? What can we as doctors do to treat/slow/reverse these pathologies? What about the symptoms? I want to be the doctor that gives patients an understanding of their ailments, and their options. I love teaching and I see myself translating the complex nature of medicine into a format that patients understand. I want to rely on science to solve problems, I want to be made to think outside the box. I want to work in a team. I have a nontraditional background, yes. I believe however my experience as an ICU nurse sets me apart because I understand the patients' fears, questions, and concerns once the doctor leaves the room. Being a nurse I have an awareness of how my future orders/treatments will translate at the bedside and the community. I understand that every decision I make involves a first and foremost a human life, but it also involves resources, time, and energy. I want to be judicial in my future practice and be a pragmatic physician, one that incorporates a deep level of science, with a practical approach to patient care. I am also humbled by how much I do not know, and I realize that I will never be capable of knowing everything, but I believe medicine gives me the best shot at having a deeper and thorough understanding.
I just want to make a sound and wise decision, I owe it to myself, and I owe it to my future patients.
I am a 27-year-old RN, CCRN. I work in critical care (pulmonary/coronary), and I've been a nurse for six years. I am partnered and have no kids. I also will not have any kids, as I am with another man (and we do not want kids).
I have been accepted into graduate school for Adult-Gerontology Acute-Care Nurse-Practitioner.
I never actually wanted to become a nurse. In fact, as a child, I always claimed that I would become a physician. Eventually, after high school I went the nursing route, I immediately took my prerequisites, and applied to the associate nursing degree program at my community college. The decision to pursue a nursing degree was fueled by pragmatic reasons. I was the son of a single-mother, she held no college education, and we were also financially disadvantaged. I had three years of schooling and was able to clear 65-70K in Houston.
Time passed and I became complacent. I enjoyed the money I made, and I even stalled on my plans to pursue my BSN. I had eventual plans to become a CRNA or NP, and I knew I needed to get my BSN. So, here I am now. Six years later, I will be done with my BSN in July and start NP school in August.
However, obtaining this BSN has reminded me that I DO NOT like the nursing model. I am so tired of learning "nursing theory", I can't believe how heavily focused my BSN has been on psychosocial theories. I am not saying they have no value, but they absolutely BORE me to death and I feel so uninspired. I am so tired of writing essays about nursing/humanistic and psychosocial theories, and I feel like I am wasting my time, energy, and life on making beautiful papers.
My best experiences with academics so far have been taking my math and science courses (I took the science for science majors courses), and the nursing courses in my ADN that were clinically inclined (pharmacology, complex disease concepts, health assessment). Even THEN, I feel like I was deprived because the depth of learning was never too deep.
I want the education the medical student receives. I want to be challenged academically, I want to learn the human body in depth. I want to understand how we function down to the molecular level, I want to learn the pathophysiology down to the cellular and biochemical level. I want to feel like I am not wasting my time writing useless papers. I am afraid the MSN/NP route will be just an extension of the fluff, with clinical/science knowledge sprinkled in between with a few clinical hours. In fact, my friend is going to NP school and she told me her professor flat out told her not to worry about the details of how the drug works and just know the main points. That shocked me, and it saddened me. I want to know: How does this drug work? WHY is this the drug of choice? I want to understand, not just memorize facts and be a robot.
But I am also scared that I am just in love with the academic pursuit/knowledge of medicine/science, and that I will hate being a doctor. As a nurse, I've been so burned out, especially as an ICU nurse. I am not sure if I am just tired of caring for patients overall? burned out of ICU/critical care? or just bedside work/nursing? Sometimes I truly hate my job, it can be a great deal of stress. As nurses, we have our set of expectations, and I hope everyone reading understands that our responsibilities extend beyond following orders, especially in the ICU at a teaching hospital. Sometimes, it's not even the stress/high stakes of critical care, but dealing with patients, and especially FAMILIES. I realize as an MD I will also deal with families, but I also realize I won't deal with them 12 hours directly/nonstop.
Being that I am so late in the game (27 years old), and still have to take a considerable amount of courses, I am afraid of going down the MD route and finding out I made an error.
I am very much aware doctors are burning out at a fast rate, the demands are increasing, the stress of dealing with the politics of medicine/insurance companies, and the loss of power doctors are experiencing over medicine to men in suits/CEO's. I am aware residency is tough, grueling, and will require all my time, and I am aware I will lose my current financial status (I gross anywhere from 85-90K/ year).
I've been told to do the NP route and learn the science on my own time, to be curious on my own time, and to satisfy my inquiry and curiosity on the side.
I have a true love for science and medicine. I want to know more. I want to know the human body. My A&P teacher once pulled me aside and told me that I needed to apply to medical school, and I think back, and I regret I did not apply. My coworker also keeps telling me I should apply, she says I am wasting my time. I love the idea of being able to learn medicine.
Any thoughts? Would you choose medicine again? or midlevel provider? What burns you out the most?
If someone asked me "why do you want to become a doctor?" I would say:
I want to possess in-depth knowledge about human physiology, disease, and treatments. I want to understand how all these concepts are related/connected. How is the function related to the dysfunction? How does the dysfunction manifest in symptoms? What can we as doctors do to treat/slow/reverse these pathologies? What about the symptoms? I want to be the doctor that gives patients an understanding of their ailments, and their options. I love teaching and I see myself translating the complex nature of medicine into a format that patients understand. I want to rely on science to solve problems, I want to be made to think outside the box. I want to work in a team. I have a nontraditional background, yes. I believe however my experience as an ICU nurse sets me apart because I understand the patients' fears, questions, and concerns once the doctor leaves the room. Being a nurse I have an awareness of how my future orders/treatments will translate at the bedside and the community. I understand that every decision I make involves a first and foremost a human life, but it also involves resources, time, and energy. I want to be judicial in my future practice and be a pragmatic physician, one that incorporates a deep level of science, with a practical approach to patient care. I am also humbled by how much I do not know, and I realize that I will never be capable of knowing everything, but I believe medicine gives me the best shot at having a deeper and thorough understanding.
I just want to make a sound and wise decision, I owe it to myself, and I owe it to my future patients.
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