Idk what I’m doing

[aspriringdr]

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Hi everyone, I haven’t been on here in a while and even when I was I didn’t post much so I apologize if I’m doing this all wrong.
For the last 4 years my dream future was set on becoming a doctor. This past semester of sophomore year really shook me up. I’m realizing exactly how much has to go into it and I’m not going to lie and say it’s definitely given me a few panic attacks. I changed my mind and decided I’d have to find something else because I don’t have the personality to fight my way through all of these endless requirements. However, all my career hunting has brought me back to the same thing. I so want to be a child psychiatrist but unfortunately psychiatry still involves the same torturous medical school path. My grades are excellent and I’m sure if I put in the time for the MCAT I could pull off a 510. I have a part-time job and do volunteer, and was going to start researching this summer. The whole shadowing and patient contact is what is giving me anxiety and I don’t think I can go through with it all.
I’m very wishy washy and at a complete loss as to what I should do. On one hand it’s the perfect career for me, but getting to that point seems extremely daunting and I’m not sure I can make it through it all.
Please offer any experience, advice, or constructive criticism. Thank you

 

[med03]

Have you considered pursuing counseling or some type of psychology degree that would also allow you to help people?
Additionally, what is at the root of your “why medicine” reasoning? Not what you’d write in an essay, but what you’re actually telling yourself/believing as you pursue this.

If you aren’t sure about the clinical stuff then shadow and make sure it isn’t for you. If you’re set on medicine but afraid of the long road/commitment then maybe begin pursuing different alternatives with better balances between work/life such as PA, NP which could be a quicker path

If all else fails, don’t forget to breathe and recognize that struggling is normal and that it’s a difficult path. If it were easy to become a doctor everyone would do it... but, the important catch here is that becoming a doctor isn’t for everyone. It’s not like one day you’re going to be an attending and realize you’ve attained fulfillment. You need to learn to enjoy the process because medicine is a commitment to a lifetime of learning and “endless requirements”

 

[kinginthenorth123]

The first thing I'd say OP is to throw away any sense of a timeline. I remember when I was in your position being obsessed with having a "normal" matriculation process, going right to med school from college. I ended up having a few gap years and that was ultimately really beneficial.

Once you free yourself from that timeline, then begin the process of deciding if medicine is really what you want. Don't get caught up in checking off the boxes for a good app or thinking up realistic MCAT scores. Get clinical experience, talk to residents, med students, attending, etc.

As the above poster noted, there are a ton of other fields in healthcare and outside where you could find fulfillment and be able to help others.

Lastly, I'd say that what you're experiencing right this moment is pretty run of the mill. Some people decide medicine is what they want and stick with it. Many go into something else after realizing medicine isn't what they wanted.

Either way, good luck with your future endeavors.

 

[aspriringdr]

Have you considered pursuing counseling or some type of psychology degree that would also allow you to help people?
Additionally, what is at the root of your “why medicine” reasoning? Not what you’d write in an essay, but what you’re actually telling yourself/believing as you pursue this.

If you aren’t sure about the clinical stuff then shadow and make sure it isn’t for you. If you’re set on medicine but afraid of the long road/commitment then maybe begin pursuing different alternatives with better balances between work/life such as PA, NP which could be a quicker path

If all else fails, don’t forget to breathe and recognize that struggling is normal and that it’s a difficult path. If it were easy to become a doctor everyone would do it... but, the important catch here is that becoming a doctor isn’t for everyone. It’s not like one day you’re going to be an attending and realize you’ve attained fulfillment. You need to learn to enjoy the process because medicine is a commitment to a lifetime of learning and “endless requirements”

Thanks for taking the time to write such a thorough reply! It’s not even that I love medicine, so I can’t really write too strong of an argument on that. I do find the physical body itself to be interesting and how it all functions but what I really love is psychology of all sorts. I find myself wondering about all sorts of things and end up reading psychology articles in my free time just for fun. Combined with my love of kids and their way of thinking, along with a deep appreciation for life and hardships psychiatry seems like a great fit. I have considered child psychology but I’m more drawn to the diagnosing and medical procedures instead of the talking aspect of healing the mind. I’ve even considered dropping science altogether and switching to elementary teaching since I do have a passion for teaching but income does play a big role in what I want for my future as well.
I also considered becoming a psychiatry PA until I learned all of the requirements to getting there are at an almost equal difficulty to that of medical school with less reward. Sure it’s faster but time is not an issue for me.
Thanks again for replying I really appreciate it!

 

[aspriringdr]

The first thing I'd say OP is to throw away any sense of a timeline. I remember when I was in your position being obsessed with having a "normal" matriculation process, going right to med school from college. I ended up having a few gap years and that was ultimately really beneficial.

Once you free yourself from that timeline, then begin the process of deciding if medicine is really what you want. Don't get caught up in checking off the boxes for a good app or thinking up realistic MCAT scores. Get clinical experience, talk to residents, med students, attending, etc.

As the above poster noted, there are a ton of other fields in healthcare and outside where you could find fulfillment and be able to help others.

Lastly, I'd say that what you're experiencing right this moment is pretty run of the mill. Some people decide medicine is what they want and stick with it. Many go into something else after realizing medicine isn't what they wanted.

Either way, good luck with your future endeavors.

Thank you for the reassuring words. It’s difficult to not get caught up in the list of requirements however when all of my friends are checking them off and moving forward and I’m still where I was a year ago. The “getting clinical experience, talking to residents, med students, attending, etc.” part is what is scaring me the most though. And not doing those things isn’t helping me decide what I should do either.
I suppose I have a lot of soul searching to do this summer lol, thanks again and best of luck to you on everything you encounter!

 

[DrStephenStrange]

Thank you for the reassuring words. It’s difficult to not get caught up in the list of requirements however when all of my friends are checking them off and moving forward and I’m still where I was a year ago. The “getting clinical experience, talking to residents, med students, attending, etc.” part is what is scaring me the most though. And not doing those things isn’t helping me decide what I should do either.
I suppose I have a lot of soul searching to do this summer lol, thanks again and best of luck to you on everything you encounter!

Why exactly is talking to doctors, residents, or even med students scaring you that much? That should be the easiest part of it all. Medicine as a career involves making connections, and talking with people is the first step in doing that. You need step out of your comfort zone and get yourself out there OP. You can do it, it's not that hard.

 

[ada.v]

I second the advice on looking into counseling/therapist programs instead! It seems like you are more interested in psychotherapy which is unfortunately a smaller part of being a psychiatrist then medication management and pharmacology knowledge. You can work in children's mental health without going through the med school path. If you are having a lot of anxiety now, I promise it would only get worse. I would never recommend medicine to somebody who is not incredibly determined and committed to this path. You need to figure out exactly why you want to choose medicine and make sure your priorities are well formulated. It takes immense sacrifice for many years of your early life which is not worth it if you feel you can be fulfilled equally in a different field.

 

[Champagne_Tap]

Doctors come in many flavors, with many personalities. At the core is interacting with patients, but how you decide to do that is really specialty-dependent. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you *have to* do things a certain way or you *have to* be a certain kind of person to become a doctor. It's all unfounded BS.

Take the chance, shadow, and when you fail (we all do), fail gloriously. The first time I ever shadowed a doctor in the OR as a high school student, I was super-nervous, kept calling him the wrong name, but walked away after seeing a pretty cool surgery. I gained nothing other than confirmation of interest. Then, I learned you could shadow people in different specialties and see wildly different kinds of medicine with so much variation in how the doctors practiced it.

There are some fields where patient contact is minimal, and some where it is at the crux of the specialty. Lots in between. Surgical fields with patients who are asleep for procedures, fields in the community where you regularly talk to patients, and everything in between. Talk to your pre-med student advisor about what kind of field would be best for you to shadow. Talk to older pre-med students applying for medical school.

There's something out there for everyone, even in the field of medicine. Fear of finding out who you could become? Don't let it hold you back!
-current doctor who never thought he'd become one.

 

[Oedipa Maas]

Current MS4 applying to psychiatry now, intending to complete a child psychiatry fellowship. Echoing what other posters have said - get in touch with medical students, psychiatrists, physicians in other specialties, etc. But make sure you are talking to psychologists, counsellors, and social workers as well! I pursued medicine with a similar mindset, an interest in biology and physiology as well as psychology. You should know that while psychologists do psychotherapy, they actually are involved in the diagnostic process perhaps more than you would think. On my child psychiatry rotation, I noticed that it was primarily psychologists, not psychiatrists, administering extensive testing to evaluate for autism and learning disorders. On a more personal note, I saw that in another life I would probably be happy in social work or psychology once I was able to work with these providers and see what they do in a hospital and clinical setting. Would I trade my current career path for either? No, I am thrilled with my choice and am beyond excited for the next step in the journey. But in a way it was very reassuring to see that I could have been happy doing something else if I had decided medicine was not for me or if I did not make it into medical school.

Also, I would engage in psychology research regardless of what you choose - it is clear you have an interest in the field, and if you are reading psychology texts for fun, it is likely that you may enjoy the research process as well. If patient care in general scares you, psychology research is a great way to contribute to the field that allows you to pursue your interest in a different way.

I think it is great that you are exploring this now, now is the correct time to do this. It would be awful to be having these thoughts for the first time in medical school, once you are already in debt. It is crucial to ask yourself if you really want to do all the required steps to get into medical school, do well your first two years in the basic sciences, extracurriculars, pass Step 1, go through clinical rotations in all core specialities (psychiatry, internal medicine, family medicine, surgery, OB/GYN, pediatrics), get letters of rec, pass Step 2 CS and CK, apply to residency -> do residency, pass Step 3, apply to fellowship -> complete fellowship. Looking at it from the outside, it is A LOT. When you are doing it, everything feels like the logical next step. But I do think it's important to figure out where this anxiety is coming from. Is it simply that it's difficult and there is a lot to do to get to your goal? Or is it because all of this stuff to do leads to a payoff that you aren't quite sure is worth it? You know yourself best, trust yourself. Trust that you know what you want and what you can handle. Take a deep breath, and explore your options. From what it sounds like, you are currently a great candidate for any of the fields you have mentioned, it is just a matter of figuring out which you would like to pursue and taking the necessary steps to get there.