I find it amusing that people assume this is my first experience with sexism, that I have been just hiding under a rock for the past 21 years of my life. The fact of the matter is it doesn't matter how discrete or blatant it may be, whether it was unconscious or overt -- sexism on any level and degree is equally wrong and needs to be addressed. The fact that people are still unable to see what was implied by his statements just shows that how much progress needs to be made in terms of society.
Not angry in any sense, not outraged, not about to start a war. Just defending my thoughts.
I will tell you that some folks here think that sexism is dead--even if they have been so blessed to be a woman in a male-dominated profession. Some will also believe that porn is harmless and does not objectify people--women, men, children. While many don't feel that way, there are those that do. Sexism isn't dead, just as racism isn't, and that's just a reality. It's unfair and stupid, but what are you gonna do? SDN has it's pluses and minuses, but it's not the end all, be all on all things either.
You have to do what you think is right. As I said, I feel, while the questions weren't traumatizing, as some assume they should be in order to be dubbed as legally troublesome or problematic, they were unnecessary, irrelevant, and came too close to that invisible line of which we must be aware.
Yes the fact is gender questions such as those, as for any other protected status that has questions like those, should be avoided, unless there is some compelling and somehow related piece from the interviewee's life story that she or he brings up. If they bring it up, the interviewers still have to tread cautiously, but now it's more open game--b/c no legally offensive assumptions can as easily be made, necessarily.
You are not a bad person for bringing this up as a topic of discussion. While I am a pretty conservative person, I still recognize that things aren't quite as "squared away" as people think they are. I think in medicine, which in the US is still a white, male dominated profession, those that want to get ahead don't want to rock the boat such that it causes waves around them.
I personally think the world is imperfect, and thus fairness is a tough thing to achieve, let alone maintain; but yes. When such issues need to be addressed, they need to be addressed.
And I try to keep in mind that this is the Internet. People communicate in ways they would not necessarily communicate if they were directly in front of you. Although in RL I have seen some high-schoolish eye-to-eye, "high-fives" that people use nonverbally in order to feel validated somehow. But it's more so online. Ah, the allure of anonymity.
🙂 Good luck to you.