- Joined
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This sounds like a difficult situation. Sometimes these situations are caused by external issues (other people) and sometimes they're internal issues (personal actions). In either event, depression will severely cloud your perceptions and make it difficult to get out from under this rock. The good news is that this is temporary and you can get out from under it, but you should get professional assistance as soon as possible.
Here's my recommendation:
- Seek out a behavioral health professional, someone you can talk with and feel comfortable with. I'd recommend a psychologist as a good place to start. Let me re-emphasize this point, make sure you feel comfortable with them, it's very important to have a good therapeutic relationship with your provider. If you don't quite sync with them, it's okay to ask for a referral to one of their colleagues. Good psychologists understand the importance of the therapeutic relationship and will be happy to refer you to someone they think you'll fit well with.
- Next, try to step back and take a look at your actions and review the guidance that is being given by your colleagues and supervisors. Read what has been given to you for performance improvement. If there is a clear trend then it may be an internal issue and you need to make changes. This is best done with your provider or other trusted person helping to guide you.
- If you're able to objectively review the situation and find that you've been 'blackballed' or are in a toxic work environment (or both), then you should try to change the situation. Consider approaching your human resources department with your concerns. If this isn't a direction you want to take, then the best bet may be to look for a new job. You've been working at this location for 10+years ... most prospective employers know that is a excellent sign of a solid employee.
