I'm not sure if I want to go to med school anymore

[shortandproud]

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Hello everyone, I hope your day has been going well. I'm looking for a little advice for a dilemma I currently have (as stated in title). TLDR is at the bottom in case you don't want to read my sob life story.

I used to be really passionate about becoming a doctor, maybe around junior year of high school I really wanted to go to med school. I used to research tons of stuff about being a doctor, like med school culture and fields you can go into, residency and fellowship, etc. I am now a junior in college and an anthropology pre-med student. I don't know if I have zero interest in going to medical school, but I'm not sure I want to be a doctor. My grades have taken a jump off a bridge--I got As and Bs freshman year, and Cs and a couple Fs sophomore year. I'm currently most likely going to fail organic chemistry and I'm really tired.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and because I was unable to receive support the first couple years of my college (mostly my fault for not reaching out but also therapy is really expensive, and ADHD diagnoses have really long waiting lists and not many colleges offer support if you're not officially diagnosed) I was in a really bad place, especially freshman year. I was missing all my lectures and waking up at 3 pm because I couldn't get out of bed and didn't have the motivation to go to the dining commons to eat because what was the point in being alive. At my lowest point I woke up at 8 am, went back to bed and just didn't get out until I had to use the restroom. I didn't ever take out a notebook, read or knit (which used to be such a big hobby of mine), brush my teeth, or even take a shower, much less eat or drink anything, and I hadn't been diagnosed with depression officially so I didn't have meds or a therapist to call. I just got more and more disgusting and I couldn't handle it but I also couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. When I drove home, I broke down in my car and called the college counselor's office crying about how I've been feeling apathetic since the beginning of the year.

It's getting better but now I'm wondering if my GPA will ever come back up to at least a 3.0 (currently 2.6 overall; my depression came back with a vengeance during COVID). My grades are my biggest problem, but I'm also scared to say I don't want to go to med school anymore. I'm only 20; will I really be able to choose a path I want to do for the rest of my life?

As of right now, I want to try and get into more research and hopefully into academia, and become a professor. I understand that becoming a professor is also hard (getting a PhD, and then associate/guest lecturing and tenure takes a really long time) and I feel like I don't have enough flexibility to choose one or the other at this point. I don't know enough about the reality of medical school and being a doctor to say, "Yeah, I don't want to do it," but I was so passionate about it several years ago that a part of me still wonders what it would be like.

My parents have always been really supportive of most of my decisions but I feel like this is the one thing they're kind of arguing with me about; they really want me to go to med school and I don't want to disappoint them. But I don't know if I'll do well in med school. I don't want a repeat of college where I suffer a vicious cycle of imposter syndrome and burnout and heavier depression than I have ever felt before. I know I like to teach people, and my ultimate dream when I was younger (like even before junior year of high school when I first determined I wanted to be a doctor) was to become a professor. I have a lot of good connections with my professors, especially because of having to reach out due to mental health issues and communicating a lot of things with them. One of them has offered to be my mentor for my senior thesis. I don't know how plausible it is to become a professor especially in anthropology, which I really want to do, and it'll probably pay way less, but I think I really want it more than med school. I just don't know if I should cut off my med school path; I've done literally all the requirements but physics 2 and orgo chem 2 and I'm seriously wondering if I should take them or drop them next semester.

TLDR: I wanted to be a professor since I was young, but my parents are pushing me to be a doctor and I used to have depression/ADHD and really bad grades so I'm wondering if it's worth it to retake a class I'm failing for my pre-med requirements and continue with the pre-med classes I have left.

 

[TragicalDrFaust]

If you're interested in becoming a professor, pursue that. If you change your mind you can always get your pre-reqs later. Your parents don't own you and your career. Besides, being a prof is perfectly respectable. Personally my parent would have preferred if I had tried for a PhD.

I strongly recommend having an action plan for ADHD and depression. It may feel expensive and inconvenient but getting mental health taken care of can literally change the trajectory of your life, speaking from my own experience.

 

[Moko]

TLDR: I wanted to be a professor since I was young, but my parents are pushing me to be a doctor and I used to have depression/ADHD and really bad grades so I'm wondering if it's worth it to retake a class I'm failing for my pre-med requirements and continue with the pre-med classes I have left.

My thoughts:

1. Until your depression is under better control, you should avoid taking more classes (or at a minimum, take a much lighter course load). Your mental and physical health should take precedence at this time. Continuing to get C's and F's is also not doing you any favors.
2. It is okay to be unsure about medicine. Prior to 'committing' to medicine, you should be relatively certain that you will enjoy the eventual fruits of your labor. Every premedical student should have: i) sufficient shadowing and clinical experience, ii) adequate exploration of alternative careers, and iii) an honest assessment of their goals and priorities. Medicine is not for everyone and many people's talents and passions are better suited for other career paths.
3. It is still possible to get into medical school with a poor GPA at graduation; however, it will require very extensive GPA repair. Even with GPA repair, there is still no guarantee that you will be admitted to any medical school. It is up to you to decide whether these costs and risks are worth it (see point 2iii)

 

[LindaAccepted]

Hello everyone, I hope your day has been going well. I'm looking for a little advice for a dilemma I currently have (as stated in title). TLDR is at the bottom in case you don't want to read my sob life story.

I used to be really passionate about becoming a doctor, maybe around junior year of high school I really wanted to go to med school. I used to research tons of stuff about being a doctor, like med school culture and fields you can go into, residency and fellowship, etc. I am now a junior in college and an anthropology pre-med student. I don't know if I have zero interest in going to medical school, but I'm not sure I want to be a doctor. My grades have taken a jump off a bridge--I got As and Bs freshman year, and Cs and a couple Fs sophomore year. I'm currently most likely going to fail organic chemistry and I'm really tired.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and because I was unable to receive support the first couple years of my college (mostly my fault for not reaching out but also therapy is really expensive, and ADHD diagnoses have really long waiting lists and not many colleges offer support if you're not officially diagnosed) I was in a really bad place, especially freshman year. I was missing all my lectures and waking up at 3 pm because I couldn't get out of bed and didn't have the motivation to go to the dining commons to eat because what was the point in being alive. At my lowest point I woke up at 8 am, went back to bed and just didn't get out until I had to use the restroom. I didn't ever take out a notebook, read or knit (which used to be such a big hobby of mine), brush my teeth, or even take a shower, much less eat or drink anything, and I hadn't been diagnosed with depression officially so I didn't have meds or a therapist to call. I just got more and more disgusting and I couldn't handle it but I also couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. When I drove home, I broke down in my car and called the college counselor's office crying about how I've been feeling apathetic since the beginning of the year.

It's getting better but now I'm wondering if my GPA will ever come back up to at least a 3.0 (currently 2.6 overall; my depression came back with a vengeance during COVID). My grades are my biggest problem, but I'm also scared to say I don't want to go to med school anymore. I'm only 20; will I really be able to choose a path I want to do for the rest of my life?

As of right now, I want to try and get into more research and hopefully into academia, and become a professor. I understand that becoming a professor is also hard (getting a PhD, and then associate/guest lecturing and tenure takes a really long time) and I feel like I don't have enough flexibility to choose one or the other at this point. I don't know enough about the reality of medical school and being a doctor to say, "Yeah, I don't want to do it," but I was so passionate about it several years ago that a part of me still wonders what it would be like.

My parents have always been really supportive of most of my decisions but I feel like this is the one thing they're kind of arguing with me about; they really want me to go to med school and I don't want to disappoint them. But I don't know if I'll do well in med school. I don't want a repeat of college where I suffer a vicious cycle of imposter syndrome and burnout and heavier depression than I have ever felt before. I know I like to teach people, and my ultimate dream when I was younger (like even before junior year of high school when I first determined I wanted to be a doctor) was to become a professor. I have a lot of good connections with my professors, especially because of having to reach out due to mental health issues and communicating a lot of things with them. One of them has offered to be my mentor for my senior thesis. I don't know how plausible it is to become a professor especially in anthropology, which I really want to do, and it'll probably pay way less, but I think I really want it more than med school. I just don't know if I should cut off my med school path; I've done literally all the requirements but physics 2 and orgo chem 2 and I'm seriously wondering if I should take them or drop them next semester.

TLDR: I wanted to be a professor since I was young, but my parents are pushing me to be a doctor and I used to have depression/ADHD and really bad grades so I'm wondering if it's worth it to retake a class I'm failing for my pre-med requirements and continue with the pre-med classes I have left.

A few thoughts:
1. You need to prioritize your physical and emotional health. Get well and then worry about school and your career. If you can handle it, take a lighter load so that you can improve your GPA. Slow down. If you can't do well, wait to take classes. You will need good grades whether you want to go into academia or medicine.
2. While wanting to please your parents is noble, it's your life, not theirs. Medicine is a calling and takes enormous dedication. If it's not your calling, then do yourself and your patients a favor and pursue a career that you will enjoy. If that career is research and teaching, wonderful. Go for it. Your parents will eventually adjust.
3. Deciding you don't want to go to medical school at 20 and before you start is a lot better than incurring thousands of dollars of debt by starting or completing medical school and then deciding it's not for you.

Best,
Linda

 

[Goro]

Hello everyone, I hope your day has been going well. I'm looking for a little advice for a dilemma I currently have (as stated in title). TLDR is at the bottom in case you don't want to read my sob life story.

I used to be really passionate about becoming a doctor, maybe around junior year of high school I really wanted to go to med school. I used to research tons of stuff about being a doctor, like med school culture and fields you can go into, residency and fellowship, etc. I am now a junior in college and an anthropology pre-med student. I don't know if I have zero interest in going to medical school, but I'm not sure I want to be a doctor. My grades have taken a jump off a bridge--I got As and Bs freshman year, and Cs and a couple Fs sophomore year. I'm currently most likely going to fail organic chemistry and I'm really tired.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and because I was unable to receive support the first couple years of my college (mostly my fault for not reaching out but also therapy is really expensive, and ADHD diagnoses have really long waiting lists and not many colleges offer support if you're not officially diagnosed) I was in a really bad place, especially freshman year. I was missing all my lectures and waking up at 3 pm because I couldn't get out of bed and didn't have the motivation to go to the dining commons to eat because what was the point in being alive. At my lowest point I woke up at 8 am, went back to bed and just didn't get out until I had to use the restroom. I didn't ever take out a notebook, read or knit (which used to be such a big hobby of mine), brush my teeth, or even take a shower, much less eat or drink anything, and I hadn't been diagnosed with depression officially so I didn't have meds or a therapist to call. I just got more and more disgusting and I couldn't handle it but I also couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. When I drove home, I broke down in my car and called the college counselor's office crying about how I've been feeling apathetic since the beginning of the year.

It's getting better but now I'm wondering if my GPA will ever come back up to at least a 3.0 (currently 2.6 overall; my depression came back with a vengeance during COVID). My grades are my biggest problem, but I'm also scared to say I don't want to go to med school anymore. I'm only 20; will I really be able to choose a path I want to do for the rest of my life?

As of right now, I want to try and get into more research and hopefully into academia, and become a professor. I understand that becoming a professor is also hard (getting a PhD, and then associate/guest lecturing and tenure takes a really long time) and I feel like I don't have enough flexibility to choose one or the other at this point. I don't know enough about the reality of medical school and being a doctor to say, "Yeah, I don't want to do it," but I was so passionate about it several years ago that a part of me still wonders what it would be like.

My parents have always been really supportive of most of my decisions but I feel like this is the one thing they're kind of arguing with me about; they really want me to go to med school and I don't want to disappoint them. But I don't know if I'll do well in med school. I don't want a repeat of college where I suffer a vicious cycle of imposter syndrome and burnout and heavier depression than I have ever felt before. I know I like to teach people, and my ultimate dream when I was younger (like even before junior year of high school when I first determined I wanted to be a doctor) was to become a professor. I have a lot of good connections with my professors, especially because of having to reach out due to mental health issues and communicating a lot of things with them. One of them has offered to be my mentor for my senior thesis. I don't know how plausible it is to become a professor especially in anthropology, which I really want to do, and it'll probably pay way less, but I think I really want it more than med school. I just don't know if I should cut off my med school path; I've done literally all the requirements but physics 2 and orgo chem 2 and I'm seriously wondering if I should take them or drop them next semester.

TLDR: I wanted to be a professor since I was young, but my parents are pushing me to be a doctor and I used to have depression/ADHD and really bad grades so I'm wondering if it's worth it to retake a class I'm failing for my pre-med requirements and continue with the pre-med classes I have left.

You're an adult now. You're old enough to vote, drink, drive, work and pay taxes, run for office and fight and die for your country. You're old enough to tell your parents that it's your life, not theirs.

Take some time off and figure out what you want to do in a few years from now.