7
710791
Hey guys,
I'll try to make this short and sweet. As you can see from my history, I typically try to distance myself from SD, just b/c it doesn't claim itself a holy book, and not one answer fits everyone's very complex life.
So I was just done with my freshman year in college. It was indeed surreal, and would've never thought that I could go through it a year ago back in high school. I knew that I had a few mental illnesses impacting my learning, and thought I would fail college. The first semester was pretty easy. I went through things in a breeze (a 14-credit schedule, believe it or not), and I had plenty of free time.
Enter winter. For one reason or another, my brain has not been forgiving. To summarize it, I am really slow. Like, it might take you my dear reader half an hour to finish a page of biology, right? Well for me it takes at least an hour, two, even three. I have to read, reread, reread, reread, reread (you get the point). Doing homework and quizzes takes a long time. Now to be fair, I have personally embarked on a heavy courseload: general chemistry I (honors seminar + honors laboratory), introductory biology (honors laboratory), political science (honors), and theatre for a 16-credit semester. Still, most of my time on any day is funneled on just two classes: the sciences. My comprehension of science has been extremely slow. I get really stressed out most of the time, thinking that I am inevitably doomed to not understand a concept every single morning and that as a result I will fail. So many weird thoughts intrude when reading, I have to keep going to the bathroom, move from place to place when any rude students make noise.
I had to make a lot of sacrifices. I talked way less to my family, woke up at 7a and slept at 1a the next morning, slept for 5-6 hours, had ZERO social life, played ZERO video games, ate little, engaged in pretty much nothing outside class, had a pretty bad hygiene (wearing the same shirt and pants every day, leaving the room really messy and garbage mounting), and did not even meet once with a doctor. But I did this all to preserve my standing academically, and I think I have succeeded. (It's too early to celebrate, but I think it is predictable.)
But here is the thing: I rushed through most of it. For most of my classes, I have learnt practically nothing, felt like they were a waste of time b/c I didn't focus on them. Somehow someway I got through the labs: I still don't know how to write a lab report, nor know the tools, equipment, and techniques in lab (lol not even titrations!), nor write neatly enough to be graded nicely. Just rush. I just focused on biology and chemistry, and believe it or not I have learned a bit in these classes and prepared myself pretty well.
Thankfully, I am done for now. I have been dreaming for some time to balance my life and not just be a person studying most of his life---that's just sad, okay? This summer, I'm not taking classes. Actually, this will drive many of you guys crazy, I already have finished through 48% of my college credits! (thx to courses tracing back to HS). So basically I can skit off college without taking any summer classes being even a parttime student (if possible), or just on a low 12. But I am not like that; I want to be challenged, just not way too challenged like last semester. I want to have a life, to engage in things outside of school, to not worry about taking too much time when eating for an extra five minutes, to make friends. Luckily I was still able to attend more than 10 plays this semester, but it's a whim for me to be able to act.
That's the thing, like I really dislike this culture, this air of many premedical students who are just focused on classes (ironically). In fact, I don't even think I am all for medicine; I am still exploring and trying to really find an orientation for it and not just follow its path blindly. But it's my own mental conditions that are enslaving me and making me study for 20 hours a day. I now have some time to think (thank God!) and want to get your guys' advice. Like, how can I get better at studying, to not take too long, to be challenged but still have time for sanity for a person like me who may have OCD and perhaps, only perhaps, ADD?
thx guys
I'll try to make this short and sweet. As you can see from my history, I typically try to distance myself from SD, just b/c it doesn't claim itself a holy book, and not one answer fits everyone's very complex life.
So I was just done with my freshman year in college. It was indeed surreal, and would've never thought that I could go through it a year ago back in high school. I knew that I had a few mental illnesses impacting my learning, and thought I would fail college. The first semester was pretty easy. I went through things in a breeze (a 14-credit schedule, believe it or not), and I had plenty of free time.
Enter winter. For one reason or another, my brain has not been forgiving. To summarize it, I am really slow. Like, it might take you my dear reader half an hour to finish a page of biology, right? Well for me it takes at least an hour, two, even three. I have to read, reread, reread, reread, reread (you get the point). Doing homework and quizzes takes a long time. Now to be fair, I have personally embarked on a heavy courseload: general chemistry I (honors seminar + honors laboratory), introductory biology (honors laboratory), political science (honors), and theatre for a 16-credit semester. Still, most of my time on any day is funneled on just two classes: the sciences. My comprehension of science has been extremely slow. I get really stressed out most of the time, thinking that I am inevitably doomed to not understand a concept every single morning and that as a result I will fail. So many weird thoughts intrude when reading, I have to keep going to the bathroom, move from place to place when any rude students make noise.
I had to make a lot of sacrifices. I talked way less to my family, woke up at 7a and slept at 1a the next morning, slept for 5-6 hours, had ZERO social life, played ZERO video games, ate little, engaged in pretty much nothing outside class, had a pretty bad hygiene (wearing the same shirt and pants every day, leaving the room really messy and garbage mounting), and did not even meet once with a doctor. But I did this all to preserve my standing academically, and I think I have succeeded. (It's too early to celebrate, but I think it is predictable.)
But here is the thing: I rushed through most of it. For most of my classes, I have learnt practically nothing, felt like they were a waste of time b/c I didn't focus on them. Somehow someway I got through the labs: I still don't know how to write a lab report, nor know the tools, equipment, and techniques in lab (lol not even titrations!), nor write neatly enough to be graded nicely. Just rush. I just focused on biology and chemistry, and believe it or not I have learned a bit in these classes and prepared myself pretty well.
Thankfully, I am done for now. I have been dreaming for some time to balance my life and not just be a person studying most of his life---that's just sad, okay? This summer, I'm not taking classes. Actually, this will drive many of you guys crazy, I already have finished through 48% of my college credits! (thx to courses tracing back to HS). So basically I can skit off college without taking any summer classes being even a parttime student (if possible), or just on a low 12. But I am not like that; I want to be challenged, just not way too challenged like last semester. I want to have a life, to engage in things outside of school, to not worry about taking too much time when eating for an extra five minutes, to make friends. Luckily I was still able to attend more than 10 plays this semester, but it's a whim for me to be able to act.
That's the thing, like I really dislike this culture, this air of many premedical students who are just focused on classes (ironically). In fact, I don't even think I am all for medicine; I am still exploring and trying to really find an orientation for it and not just follow its path blindly. But it's my own mental conditions that are enslaving me and making me study for 20 hours a day. I now have some time to think (thank God!) and want to get your guys' advice. Like, how can I get better at studying, to not take too long, to be challenged but still have time for sanity for a person like me who may have OCD and perhaps, only perhaps, ADD?
thx guys
