I'm so thankful...

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RyanBruin05 said:
Growing up I wanted to be an architect, until my dad, Dr. Bruce Murphy, brought me to observe my first surgery. For hours, I watched as he debrided burnt flesh and grafted the wounds of a man with 3rd degree circumferential burns on both legs. From this initial experience, I began volunteering in the burn unit, assisting the nursing staff with daily dressing changes.

Long story short... my dad was my inspiration to become a physician. He never pushed me into the profession, but as I began to discover my own sense of calling he was my greatest support.

He encouraged me when I was exhausted from studying for the MCAT, he applauded me when I got my scores, he supported me financially as I travelled to interviews. When the last application cycle didn't go as well as we hoped, he encouraged me to reapply, helped me strengthen my personal statement, and told me not to give up.

He has anticipated news from medical schools with me. Every rejection I got, he was disappointed with me but told me to have hope.

The day I got my acceptance to UCLA School of Medicine, my dad was the first person I called. He was so excited and proud. He made me call the admissions office to get the date for the White Coat Ceremony, so he could put it down on his calendar and make plans to be there, cheering me on.

Last Saturday, I was on a well-deserved vacation in Atlanta, when I got a call from my brother that my dad had suffered a heart attack and was in emergency surgery. I couldn't get any flights from Atlanta to Des Moines, where he lived, so I rented a car, and drove as fast as I could to get here. 15 hours later, I arrived at the hospital to find my dad connected to a ventilator, dialysis machine, and numerous IVs.

Initially, he was heavily sedated, but after a few days he was more alert. I would sit at his bedside and talk to him, and he'd squeeze my hand to acknowledge what I was saying. His doctors were amazed at how much he was fighting to stay alive, although they told us that his body was shutting down, his kidneys had stopped functioning, and his heart only had 10% function.

This morning, his blood pressure dropped, and his breathing was so distressed that we made the decision as a family to give him medication to make him comfortable. On the advice of his physicians, we ended the extraordinary measures that were keeping him alive. He was fighting to stay with us, but his body was shutting down and there was nothing we could do.

With me holding his right hand, my brother Jason holding his left, and my mom at his feet, my dad slowly drifted away at 2:45pm today. He was so calm and peaceful.

I'm thankful for my dad's inspiration and that I could be there with him at the end. I'm going to miss my dad so much. I'm so sad that he won't be able to go through the med school journey with me and encourage me along the way. Yet, I'm so thankful that he knew before he died that I'd been accepted to UCLA.

Thanks Dad for everything... I miss you already... You inspired me... Your patients loved you, and I hope when I'm a doctor that I can have your same sincerity, attentiveness, and reassuring sense of humor.

Dr. Bruce J Murphy Feb 10, 1950 - March 30, 2007
Click to expand...

You were fortunate to have such an amazing and supportive father, not all of us are as fortunate. Sorry for your loss, and best of luck in med school. 👍
 
Your story got me all teary eyed. I'm sorry for your loss, but I know you made your dad proud.
 
What a wonderful man he was, he must have touched so many lives. He died with the people he loved surrounding him. i hope we're all that lucky. He has a great son, i know he was proud of you. With a role model like that, you can't help but be an excellent physician in his honour.

You shouldn't have to say goodbye. But when you do, remember that all those tears are soft prayers that tell him everything you want him to know.
 
I know that no real words can truly comfort you with the loss of your father, but just remember that you will see him again. Read Rev. 21:1-4, John 5:28, 1 Thes. 4:16,17, and especially Isaiah 57:1. It helped through hard times like this too.
 
I'm very sorry about your loss. I'll keep your family in my thoughts. In school and throughout your career, when the going gets tough, just remember that his spirit is always with you.
 
RyanBruin,

I am sorry for your loss. Your story is truly inspiring. I wish you and your family the best. And good luck at UCLA. Hopefully, I'll see you there.

Regards,

PG
 
Truly an inspiring story. I am very sorry for you loss. I will pray for you and your family, and wish you all the very best in you medical school years at UCLA and beyond.
 
ryan,

beautiful and heartbreaking post...i sense that you will make a wonderful doctor like your father. best wishes to you and your family

hcts
 
What a wonderful testament to your father and the bonds of love. Those bonds with your father that helped support you when you had difficulties before your acceptance, will help you now, as you and your family grieve.

If you are half the man that you and your father appear to be, you will be a wonderful physician. My thoughts are with you.
 
great tribute, during residency i too lost my father and was not there when he passed. my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

god bless
 
I'm sorry for your loss. You made your DAD proud and remember to continue doing that at UCLA. May he rest in peace!
 
Ryan I am so sad for your loss. I am sure that you will make an amazing contribution to the world, and that it will be very much in honor of the man who made you who you are. Hang in there.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Your story was very touching. I will keep you and your family in my prayers
 
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your father knew that you had gotten into medical school, but I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. I'm sure you will make him proud at UCLA.
 
I'm very sorry for your loss Ryan. My prayers are with you and your family.
 
Thank you for sharing this, Ryan. It was a beautiful, moving tribute to your dad. I think many of us can relate to your pain at this difficult juncture, but I truly believe it was a blessing that your father was alive to to learn of your acceptance, and I'm sure it brought him peace and pride knowing how much he meant to you and influenced you in your journey to medicine. You have honored him.

From one Bruin to another, my thoughts and best wishes go to you and your family for strength and comfort.
 
Sorry for your loss. Remember, all that your Dad taught you, professionally and personally will shape you in your future as a physician. Do him proud!

- H
 
I'm sorry you lost your father so early in life, but you were lucky to have such a wonderful man as a mentor and father. Fill your heart with warm memories, but remember to always look forward.
 
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank each and every one of you for the kind and comforting words you've expressed after my father's passing.

This is what I love about SDN... This has been such a supportive place throughout the application process... We've all shared our frustrations, fears, hopes, questions, expertise, and triumphs with each other, which has made this process less stressful than it would have been otherwise... I'm thankful that you all extended the same support to me when I shared with you about my father's sudden passing... It is much appreciated...

I have shared the contents of this thread with my family, who also wanted me to express their thanks for what you have said...

My father's funeral is today. I think my dad is laughing right now. He lives in Des Moines, Iowa and I live in Los Angeles. I would always call him when I knew bad winter weather was hitting Iowa and jokingly ask him "How's the weather, dad?" He'd tell me that a blizzard was hitting Des Moines, and then ask me "How's the weather in LA, Ryan?" knowing that it was probably sunny, warm, and beautiful. It was our little inside joke.

He always asked why I didn't visit him in Des Moines more often, and I would tell him that every time I call him, he's in a blizzard... why would I leave the beautiful SoCal weather to deal with that??

Long story short... it's been sunny and relatively warm my entire stay in Des Moines, until today. I woke up this morning, and it's about 30-40 degrees outside and snow is falling in March. I can't help but laugh and think that this is my dad's sense of humor... He's getting the last laugh by making it snow on the day of his funeral.

My dad was a good man who I really admired and loved. He has DEFINITELY left behind very big shoes to fill. I'm already a very dedicated person, but this personal loss will definitely increase my drive to pursue my medical education with excellence and integrity, so that I can truly honor the man who inspired me so much. I love you Dad and I will work very hard to continue to make you proud.

Again, thank you for all your support... it has meant so much...

Ryan





 
Wow. i've seen people lose someone important to them...and they crumbled. They fell apart and lost all sense of who they are, because they never defined themselves outside of their relationship with this person. They had no idea what to do.

You, though...you're going to make it
icon_hug.gif
 
Ryan, I'm sorry for your loss.
 
That was beautiful.
You're going to make an amazing doctor!
G-d bless you and your family.
 
My deepest sympathies. There are no words that can adequately express the sympathy I feel for you, someone I never met nor ever read a thing from you. But in your moving message I feel so incredibly emotional for you. What an incredible Dad you had and what an inspiration he was to you. How difficult this must be for you now. I am so glad that he did receive the most joyous news of your acceptance. It is so sad that he will not be with you as your journey in his footsteps begin. But work hard, be the doctor he inspired you to be, do it for him and he'll always be a part of your life. May God and your loved ones help you and your family get through this difficult period and may you find some peace. God bless you.
 
RyanBruin05 said:
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank each and every one of you for the kind and comforting words you've expressed after my father's passing.

This is what I love about SDN... This has been such a supportive place throughout the application process... We've all shared our frustrations, fears, hopes, questions, expertise, and triumphs with each other, which has made this process less stressful than it would have been otherwise... I'm thankful that you all extended the same support to me when I shared with you about my father's sudden passing... It is much appreciated...

I have shared the contents of this thread with my family, who also wanted me to express their thanks for what you have said...

My father's funeral is today. I think my dad is laughing right now. He lives in Des Moines, Iowa and I live in Los Angeles. I would always call him when I knew bad winter weather was hitting Iowa and jokingly ask him "How's the weather, dad?" He'd tell me that a blizzard was hitting Des Moines, and then ask me "How's the weather in LA, Ryan?" knowing that it was probably sunny, warm, and beautiful. It was our little inside joke.

He always asked why I didn't visit him in Des Moines more often, and I would tell him that every time I call him, he's in a blizzard... why would I leave the beautiful SoCal weather to deal with that??

Long story short... it's been sunny and relatively warm my entire stay in Des Moines, until today. I woke up this morning, and it's about 30-40 degrees outside and snow is falling in March. I can't help but laugh and think that this is my dad's sense of humor... He's getting the last laugh by making it snow on the day of his funeral.

My dad was a good man who I really admired and loved. He has DEFINITELY left behind very big shoes to fill. I'm already a very dedicated person, but this personal loss will definitely increase my drive to pursue my medical education with excellence and integrity, so that I can truly honor the man who inspired me so much. I love you Dad and I will work very hard to continue to make you proud.

Again, thank you for all your support... it has meant so much...

Ryan
Click to expand...

Ryan, I was crying from reading your first post and as I responded to you; now reading your response to this thread I'm crying even more. You're an amazing and strong person. You are going to make it. That's not to say you won't experience some very difficult times ahead but you will get through it and you will be stronger for it. You will have difficult shoes to fill but I think if anyone can do it, you will. God bless you and your family.
 
One thing I notice with aging is that I tend to have wet eyes when I read posts like this, used not to be like this at all. I am sure he is as good as a dad anyone can be, and he got a son like you, so he must have left with no regrets.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like an amazing father and I'm sure (from your posts) that you will make him proud, as you already have.
 
I just wanted to remind you that the Joy of the Lord is your strength, just look to God for all of your strength when you have a long day. I believe that you will be a great doctor one day and you will make it through this journey. Just hang in there!! 😍
My prayers are with you and your family.

Sistahnik
 
as with everyone else, my condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.

everyone has their own perception of death, but i think with most people, there is a sense that the person is still there, still supporting, still listening. you'll think of him often, and that's ok, it's important, because med school can be rough and draining, residency (im assuming) is too. Just remember even though you can't call and make fun of the weather, he's still there, supporting, listening, and so proud of you.

and thank you, for your posts.
 
How are you doing Ryan? I've been thinking about you and praying for you.
 
Ryan
Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong and focused onto your career. You'll be an amazing doctor.
 
My condolences to you. It made me cry, your dad was a wonderful person and I'm sure he will be your guardian through med school and more.
 
Hi Ryan,
My deepest condolescences to you. I heard the news from Kelvin a month ago, but I just found this thread today. I hope you're doing well. Your story is very sad.
Your future classmate--
 
May your father's memory bring you strength and courage throughout your medical career and on.
 
My condolences... I'm sure you dad is watching over you.. hope you stay strong in this difficult time...
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences and prayers go out to you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything you need or anything we can do for you.

In a way, I feel as if your father never really left this world. His love, inspiration and hope has been eternalized by passing it on to future generations.
 
i'm thankful too.
 
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