I just hate what kindergarden did to me.... I had to actually stop peeing my pants when I didn't want to ACTUALLY walk to the toilet....I had to read books that my teacher and class wanted to read instead of reading "super grover goes to the supermarket" over and over.....I had to do things for myself because my mommy wasn't there to buffer me from the consequences of life..... I had to stop picking my nose and eating it because those other bastard kindergardeners kept on judging me.... I had to actually live a schedule like get up and go to school and be accounted for.....I had to bath more than one time a week (and I even had to get my hair combed once a day!)
Man, life before kindergarden was the best! Eat what you want, do what you want, play in the street, not wear shoes for weeks at a time, run with scissors and knives....other people to pick up/clean up, other people to earn the food, other people to do the work, other people to be the productive and contributing components of society while I could do what ever the !@#$ I wanted and I could just flick a booger on society..... those were the days!!!!!
Society was so much better when there was no society! We could just live in caves, chewing on raw meat, wrap a fur around us for clothes, play with fire.... now we have to INTERACT, think about OTHER PEOPLE besides ourselves, think about what we do and how it impacts SOCIETY, and the worst.... we actually have to be PRODUCTIVE and RELIABLE and RESPONSIBLE.... life sucks now, I think I am going to leave my wife and kids, move home, put on a big diaper, and see if my mom will start letting me breast feed again.... I was such a more COOL, HIP, FUN, CARE-FREE person when I was doing that........marching to the beat of my own drum.... then society intervened and ruined me! Now I am a doctor (oh no!), a tax payer (oh no!), a parent (not that!), a spouse (disgusting!), a volunteer in my community (the nerve!!!), my life is so boring I just might end it tonight (after the basketball games of course 🙂 )
