Incoming student stress

[islandgirl1]

I've been trying to vent to my non-entering friends and they just don't get it.
So I'll make space here for the entering class of 2008 to vent.

How's everyone's preparations to start coming along?

Everyday seems to bring a new challenge for me. I almost didn't pay my seat deposit on time because my acceptance package with all those details got lost. Thankfully I'm in.
But now it's all about organizing housing and immunization forms and scholarship applications and I'm having more crazy moments than happy moments.

Just a note, please check in with your programs and find out if there's anything you should be doing.

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[moonflwr]

I was thinking about starting this thread myself. Great minds think alike they say .

Yeah I'm going a little crazy too. I can't start looking for apartments yet because its too early and I haven't received anything in the mail from my department yet. I'm thinking that I'm going to be checking in with them as soon as I finish this post. I'm getting really nervous....

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I'm not a new student, but I have housing issues....pretty much need to move out in the next month or two (house is getting sold), but everything is up in the air with where I should move. I'm hoping to downsize and get something near the beach, since I'll most likely end up somewhere cold next year.

 

[PsychappA]

I would definitely say that overall I am more excited than anything to move & start school, however I find I am starting to get a little more stressed as the days go by. Contemplating a cross-country move is a bit daunting.

First of all, the housing situation is tough. I am going to visit the city where I will be moving in June to look around and try to find an apartment and have been looking online at apartments in the areas, but it seems like 4 days in the area will just not be enough to secure housing. Then, there is buying a car (I currently live in NYC so I don't have one) & shipping everything across the country...

However, the thing I am starting to get most stressed out about is finances. I'm wondering how I will be able to live on my stipend (which is abt 1/3 of what I am currently making). Anyone else feeling nervous about this?

 

[bookworm06]

However, the thing I am starting to get most stressed out about is finances. I'm wondering how I will be able to live on my stipend (which is abt 1/3 of what I am currently making). Anyone else feeling nervous about this?

A big, YES to that one. At first I was excited --tuition and a stipend--good deal right?... now I'm anxious. How on earth am I going to eat and pay rent???? buy my books? etc. and for at least FOUR years????? It makes my stomach churn just thinking about leaving behind my current salary/benefits etc.

 

[moonflwr]

A big, YES to that one. At first I was excited --tuition and a stipend--good deal right?... now I'm anxious. How on earth am I going to eat and pay rent???? buy my books? etc. and for at least FOUR years????? It makes my stomach churn just thinking about leaving behind my current salary/benefits etc.

I'm seconding that. I've got a $300 car payment plus other debt I'm trying to pay off. Maybe I should start looking for a nice roomy box to live in?

The other thing I forgot to mention before is how frustrated I am that August sooooo far away. I'm stuck in a job right now that is totally boring to me and I can't wait to start school but these days just seem to be dragging by.

 

[PsychappA]

The other thing I forgot to mention before is how frustrated I am that August sooooo far away. I'm stuck in a job right now that is totally boring to me and I can't wait to start school but these days just seem to be dragging by.

Me too! I have started a day count until my last day of work. Not only is it SO boring, but it often is kind of skeezy. An example... I work primarily with an elderly male population. Yesterday, as I was bent over getting stuff together for a blood draw and my patient says, "You know what your best asset is?", To which I said, "What's that?," and he reply, "I'm staring at it", with his eyes fixed on my, um... rear. AHHH! I felt like screaming "I'M GETTING MY PHD... I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!!"

But actually I said "Thank you" because I was just so happy to have recruited someone for this trial. I need out!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

The other thing I forgot to mention before is how frustrated I am that August sooooo far away. I'm stuck in a job right now that is totally boring to me and I can't wait to start school but these days just seem to be dragging by.

Trust me, it will fly by. Enjoy your free time while you can!!

 

[PhDshallsee]

I was thinking about starting this thread myself. Great minds think alike they say .

Yeah I'm going a little crazy too. I can't start looking for apartments yet because its too early

Seriously?! Almost all of the complexes where I'm going are already rented! There are only a handful of good ones left, and I'm driving (17 hours!) next weekend to snag a spot hopefully.

 

[paramour]

I was thinking about starting this thread myself. Great minds think alike they say .

Yeah I'm going a little crazy too. I can't start looking for apartments yet because its too early and I haven't received anything in the mail from my department yet. I'm thinking that I'm going to be checking in with them as soon as I finish this post. I'm getting really nervous....

Seriously?! Almost all of the complexes where I'm going are already rented! There are only a handful of good ones left, and I'm driving (17 hours!) next weekend to snag a spot hopefully.

Ditto PhDshallsee. Are you sure that it's too early, moonflwr? I know of places that were already booked for the upcoming year as of last year. Most of the places that I know are left at this time are not even remotely desirable, extremely expensive, or 3- to 4- bedrooms. Of course, it could be that I'm simply entirely too "selective." G'luck with housing everyone!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

It all depends on the region....I know in NYC you have to go apartment hunting a few weeks before (at most) and be prepared to put money down right then...or you won't get it. While other places that rent to predominantly college/grad students do things months in advance because they have that luxury. I'm waiting it out a bit, as I can be a bit flexible with when/where I move because I'm local.

 

[Ollie123]

Depends on the area.

Around here, you could probably find a place in June for July if you had to, though it wouldn't be ideal. Obviously the sooner the better since some of the best places have waiting lists, but it isn't that late - I mean, it really can't be, almost no one knew where they were going until about 2 weeks ago

 

[moonflwr]

Ditto PhDshallsee. Are you sure that it's too early, moonflwr? I know of places that were already booked for the upcoming year as of last year. Most of the places that I know are left at this time are not even remotely desirable, extremely expensive, or 3- to 4- bedrooms. Of course, it could be that I'm simply entirely too "selective." G'luck with housing everyone!

Oh thanks everybody now I'm freaking out again, lol. I am looking online right now but I contacted a couple of places and they said they won't have openings for August until June? I'm supposed to be going down to find a place the first weekend in June but I'll be going down for a fun trip next week and I was thinking about looking around then. To be quite honest I've NEVER had to find an apartment before and I'm 16 hours away from the city I'm moving too so I'm kind of fumbling around in the dark. BTW I'm moving to Orlando which I'm thinking won't have much of a shortage in apartments. I was planning on living a little far-ish from campus anyway because the rent is so much cheaper that way.

 

[Psyched77]

The other thing I forgot to mention before is how frustrated I am that August sooooo far away.

August seems way to close to me!

 

[Psyched77]

My stress is 100% about my house & the move. We bought our house 5 years ago & planned on being here long term (before I decided that I wanted to go to grad school), so we bought a house that was dated; we wanted to fix it up ourselves & build some equity. Well now that we're selling it, we've had to kick into high gear. Luckily we had our bathrooms & kitchen done before, but we're in the middle of redoing our whole basement (about 1,400 sf). It was wood paneling & smelly brown carpet. (Plus, we're the poor kind of folk that have to do all of the labor ourselves.) Juggling all of that with finals, term papers, lab, & everything else has been a nightmare! We're listing our house on the 12th, & we'll have to see what happens. At some point, we'll have to apply for jobs for my husband & make a trip out there to interview for jobs & go house hunting. At some point, I'll remind myself to get excited about why we're doing all of this!

 

[dontknowitall]

I am actually super-psyched. I figured out my living arrangements (and my new place is only a block away from Trader Joe's!!!). I am just going to sell all of my stuff and start fresh in my new spot. The car thing . . . well that I am not sure about. I will be making half of what I make now, but my new rent is going to be less than half of what I pay now and I'll defer my student loans, so I think I'll be solid financially.

I think the hardest thing will be moving away from all my best friends and my bestest friend of all: NYC

But I have fun by looking on yelp to scout out spots in my new hood (yes, my job right now is very boring)

I just can't wait to learn all the things I am going to learn! Hurray for school!

 

[ny1020]

I'm so glad you started this thread! I haven't received a package from my dept. either. So I just sent an e-mail - thank you for the reminder.

Figuring out how much to take out in loans has been the most stressful. I've got a modest stipend with my tuition waiver, but the stipend covers rent and my undergrad student loan only, so I know I need more funds. The catch is, I don't want to have to pay interest on money I won't need. I've always had a steady, good income, and the thought of not being able to make more money if I needed it is hard to handle. So, I took out enough to cover 10 months expenses if something happened to my spouse's income. Most of that is subsidized, which is comforting. I'll stick whatever I don't need into a savings account so that at least I'm earning interest on what I'm not using.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

...my new place is only a block away from Trader Joe's!!!

I use to live near TJ's....I miss it. They have Whole Foods down here, but it isn't the same, as they are lacking a number of my favorite things that TJ carried.

 

[Ollie123]

Oh thanks everybody now I'm freaking out again, lol. I am looking online right now but I contacted a couple of places and they said they won't have openings for August until June? I'm supposed to be going down to find a place the first weekend in June but I'll be going down for a fun trip next week and I was thinking about looking around then. To be quite honest I've NEVER had to find an apartment before and I'm 16 hours away from the city I'm moving too so I'm kind of fumbling around in the dark. BTW I'm moving to Orlando which I'm thinking won't have much of a shortage in apartments. I was planning on living a little far-ish from campus anyway because the rent is so much cheaper that way.

UCF?

I did the NY to Tampa move last year - there are tons of apartments in Orlando based off what I've seen the times I've driven out there, so you shouldn't have a problem. Talk to current students because they'll be able to recommend places that are cheaper, but not because they're awful places or in awful neighborhoods.

 

[moonflwr]

UCF?

I did the NY to Tampa move last year - there are tons of apartments in Orlando based off what I've seen the times I've driven out there, so you shouldn't have a problem. Talk to current students because they'll be able to recommend places that are cheaper, but not because they're awful places or in awful neighborhoods.

Bingo I've contacted a couple of places since my last post and so far they all have apts available so I'm going to take a deep breath and remind myself that everything will work out. Thanks Ollie for the reassurances.

Remember when we thought getting into grad school was going to be the hard part??

 

[Thrak]

I'm more stressed about the calendar not moving fast enough. At this point, I'm sick of eye research (even though my coworkers are great and the work itself is theoretically interesting), sick of Boston, sick of our muddled financial situation, sick of thinking about moving and not being able to, since we're looking for a mid/late July move and we'll have to wait at least two-three more weeks for places to hit the market. I also have three outside job-type-things that are increasing in mental costs and decreasing in benefits.

Plus, I've got to try to keep out of my wife's hair about most of this, since she's in finals/papers mode for law school for the last time, which then leads to two and a half months of her burning the candle at both ends for Bar prep (and the bar exam itself).

Once it's August 1, we're in Jersey. We're taking a small vacation to Cancun for a week on the cheap. I can settle in to the new place, see some friends/family in the NYC area, hit the beach, try to get a head start on my reading/research proposals/etc. But best of all, no more driving 10 hours round trip to NY and back on the weekends.

Then, starting in mid-September, my wife's job starts. Yay, financial solvency!

 

[psychwanabe]

Calm down everyone. First, yay! You got in. Second, the plans will all work out, I promise.

I know there are a lot of changes coming your way and it feels like you have to get everything done NOW, but that's really not the case. Your departments will get info to you (and hopefully, like mine will tell you the desirable vs. undesirable neighborhoods to live in). They should also be sending you lists of contact info for current students (if they don't, ask for it). Many of them will be moving off to internship and guess what? They need to unload their apartments, and/or some of them need new roommates. This is an option that worked well for some of my classmates.

I also have to echo what T4C said and I'm not sure you all took the time to read: enjoy the time you have these next few months. You are about to enter the world of graduate school in which you don't have time to breathe...so appreciate your last months of freedom.

And congrats to you all!

 

[Sarahanne]

Is anyone looking into buying a house instead of getting an apartment, since its such a buyers market right now and we will be living here for the next 5 years or so?

 

[islandgirl1]

I just got registered for grad housing and realised check-in is in exactly 3 months
I'm having the world of mixed feelings right now. I'm excited to get started but I'm so so so sad to leave.

 

[TwilightEve]

going to nova next year and definitely feeling stressed out. Not sure what i'm suppose to be doing right now.. the acceptance packet is pretty slim - pretty much just the acceptance form.. @.@ keep thinking i'm missing forms or deadlines or what not. Anyone else get their financial/loan packets? When is that suppose to come?

 

[moonflwr]

I just got registered for grad housing and realised check-in is in exactly 3 months
I'm having the world of mixed feelings right now. I'm excited to get started but I'm so so so sad to leave.

I know what you mean. I've never moved away from home before, I'm really going to miss everybody. Plus I'm leaving behind my boyfriend of 3+ years, its going to be REALLY hard. On the bright side, however, I'm bringing my kitty!

 

[Psyched77]

Is anyone looking into buying a house instead of getting an apartment, since its such a buyers market right now and we will be living here for the next 5 years or so?

We (the hubby & I) are definitely buying a house! We likely would either way, but we especially want to do that so that we can put our equity $$ from our current house into a new one.

 

[PsyDr]

there is going to be a time when you reminise about the low level of stress you had right now.

 

[bookworm06]

I don't know whether to feel comforted by that or not.... hmmm.

 

[PsychappA]

I just got my class list from the program director & I have to say, more than anything I am just SO EXCITED! It is very much against my nature to not over-stress over situations, but I really can't do it because I am just so happy to be going to grad school. The application/interview process was so horrendous for me that I am still in shock that I am even going. Perhaps I will feel drastically different in a month or two when things get more real, but for now....

YAAAAAAY I'M GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!

 

[psychwanabe]

there is going to be a time when you reminise about the low level of stress you had right now.

Ain't that the truth of it! Now the second years' in our program are saying "you think you're stressed after your first year, wait until your second!"

 

[Cosmo75]

Ain't that the truth of it! Now the second years' in our program are saying "you think you're stressed after your first year, wait until your second!"

And when you're in your 2nd the 3rd years will be saying that Every year it's the same message. Every year seems to be a bit more of a blur. When you're going through it, you have no idea how you'll get it all done. Once you're finished, you won't really know how you did it but it'll be done

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

And when you're in your 2nd the 3rd years will be saying that Every year it's the same message. Every year seems to be a bit more of a blur. When you're going through it, you have no idea how you'll get it all done. Once you're finished, you won't really know how you did it but it'll be done

+1

 

[sicologia]

Just wanted to say to the OP and others that may be frustrated that it can certainly be done, but it takes good planning and perserverance! In less than two years, I proposed and defended a thesis, finished an internship, completed the end of my masters (psych) and EdS degrees in School Psych, followed by getting married after a year and a half of engagement, doctoral interviews up and down the east coast, a massive house search for my new family (wife and 2 hounds) and all of our newly combined belongings, moving trucks, new job, new car, and, of course, the beginning and end of my first year as a PsyD student. It was a big one...2006-2007, but it CAN be done. Oh, I forgot to mention we quit drinking! I know, you're probably thinking you need to take it up, right! Well, it can be done. Just do first things first and you'll get through it all. Good luck to ya!

 

[Thrak]

Is anyone looking into buying a house instead of getting an apartment, since its such a buyers market right now and we will be living here for the next 5 years or so?

We were thinking of buying a house (well, a condo, anyway), but there are too many unknowns right now for us. We're still not sure if I'm going to need three years or five for my PhD (I'm entering with a masters), or where I'd be getting a post-doc. Plus, the market in the NYC area may or may not have hit bottom. Since we're looking to live in Jersey City, my guess is that it hasn't hit bottom yet... if the Wall Street investment banks really do shed 20,000 jobs, a lot of newly-unemployed people living across the river from work may short-sell their condos to get some quick cash.

If we like Jersey, and think we'll be there long-term, we can just buy later when we've saved up more for a downpayment. If not, we probably move back to Queens as early as 2011, and buy a condo/co-op there.

 

[islandgirl1]

going to nova next year and definitely feeling stressed out. Not sure what i'm suppose to be doing right now.. the acceptance packet is pretty slim - pretty much just the acceptance form.. @.@ keep thinking i'm missing forms or deadlines or what not. Anyone else get their financial/loan packets? When is that suppose to come?

did you pay your deposit and get your NSU PIN and email address setup already?

Just do first things first and you'll get through it all.

That's becoming my mantra

 

[Sarahanne]

I'm getting married in less than a month now and then I think we're going to start making trips up to Ohio to start looking around at houses. The prices in comparison to what you can get in Maryland is astonishing.... 4 bedroom 3.5 bath for $80k....wow although its sad because more than 10% of all homes in Cleveland are vacant due to foreclosure right now....

 

[moonflwr]

My professor sent me an e-mail saying she's going to have me start seeing folks for the research clinic with her right away. Yay! *gulp*

The clinic is one that works with families with young children so I've been watching Nanny 911 to pick up some pointers

 

[PsyDr]

you guys should really focus on the feeling of accomplishment.

 

[Sarahanne]

you guys should really focus on the feeling of accomplishment.

Agreed

 

[terrybug]

We were thinking of buying a house (well, a condo, anyway), but there are too many unknowns right now for us. We're still not sure if I'm going to need three years or five for my PhD (I'm entering with a masters), or where I'd be getting a post-doc. Plus, the market in the NYC area may or may not have hit bottom. Since we're looking to live in Jersey City, my guess is that it hasn't hit bottom yet... if the Wall Street investment banks really do shed 20,000 jobs, a lot of newly-unemployed people living across the river from work may short-sell their condos to get some quick cash.

If we like Jersey, and think we'll be there long-term, we can just buy later when we've saved up more for a downpayment. If not, we probably move back to Queens as early as 2011, and buy a condo/co-op there.

I decided to just dive in and buy a house and I'm really happy I did.
The paperwork for a loan took a while, but it was all worth it. All you need is enough to put a fair amount down and be able to cover the monthly costs + upkeep. It's not like you need the full amount up front to be able to buy.
Plus, college towns will always be growing, unlike other parts of the country where people are moving away. So, you're pretty much guaranteed to get your money back when you move, if not make money.

2 things to keep in mind before buying: you really don't want to have to deal with personal bankruptcy and foreclosure, so definitely make sure you can cover all the costs; and be prepared to learn how to be your own landlord. The independence is fantastic, but it means seeking out advice on all kinds of things you've never dealt with before (fences shared with neighbors, repairing cracked concrete, etc.).

 

[paramour]

Plus, college towns will always be growing, unlike other parts of the country where people are moving away. So, you're pretty much guaranteed to get your money back when you move, if not make money.

Please note that this is not necessarily true. I have lived in 3 college towns (before the current/fourth one) over the past umpteen years and the housing market currently sucks in every single one of them. Once upon a time, yes, you could be practically guaranteed that your house would sell within a matter of days, weeks, or a couple of months max. I know entirely too many people in these areas with houses that have been sitting on the market for well over a year now, when they previously would have already been snapped up. There's more than "college area = growth/great investment" to selling a house.

G'luck to everyone attempting to buy or sell at this time!

 

[EquestriAnn]

Please note that this is not necessarily true. I have lived in 3 college towns (before the current/fourth one) over the past umpteen years and the housing market currently sucks in every single one of them. Once upon a time, yes, you could be practically guaranteed that your house would sell within a matter of days, weeks, or a couple of months max. I know entirely too many people in these areas with houses that have been sitting on the market for well over a year now, when they previously would have already been snapped up. There's more than "college area = growth/great investment" to selling a house.

G'luck to everyone attempting to buy or sell at this time!

I would imagine this is because the housing market sucks everywhere right now. It's a good time to buy, but not to sell. I'll probably buy a condo/house next year but I have no idea what areas are good to live in yet so I want to rent for a year to figure out where I want to buy.

 

[cai]

Anyone worried about beingh able to secure housing with only a small stipend as income?
I am worried that no landlord will take me! My boyfriend will be reloacating with me, and will be working fulltime...but he may not be able to have a job in writing before we actually have to move, or he may have to work a job waiting tables or something while he is still doing interviews...
Any advice? Can I fill out apt applications with my CURRENT job info, even though I won't be there anymore once I move?

 

[Luxian]

Anyone worried about beingh able to secure housing with only a small stipend as income?

Any advice? Can I fill out apt applications with my CURRENT job info, even though I won't be there anymore once I move?

A lot of landlords love students. They are reliable and quiet. If you have a good credit record, they really won't mind if you are living on a stipend. Don't sweat it!

I hope I'm not intruding (I'm pre-med, not pre-psych), but I'm going through the same thing! My school starts in July (!!) and I'm busy paying off my debt so I can start with a clean slate. That doesn't leave me much to move with, and I'm currently juggling how to go out and visit, find apartments, find roommates, and get all my stuff and my cats out there in the next six weeks. Gah! I'm glad to have it finally settled _where_ I'm going, but it's still crazy stressful! I've moved many times in my life, but this time I'm going somewhere where I have no contacts and my boyfriend will be 10 hrs away. Sigh. Academic stresses I can deal with. Life? That's a bit more complicated.

 

[ny1020]

Anyone worried about beingh able to secure housing with only a small stipend as income?
I am worried that no landlord will take me! My boyfriend will be reloacating with me, and will be working fulltime...but he may not be able to have a job in writing before we actually have to move, or he may have to work a job waiting tables or something while he is still doing interviews...
Any advice? Can I fill out apt applications with my CURRENT job info, even though I won't be there anymore once I move?

It depends on where you're moving and the landlord, but there is a chance you may need a guarantor or co-signer on your lease. You can fill out the apps with your current job info, but most apps will have a line about job transfer/leaving your current job and you'll have to put down you'll be a student and what your stipend is. Some might not care because they rent to grad students all the time and don't worry about it. But, I would line up a guarantor just in case.

 

[Ollie123]

Hint: Always refer to yourself as a "Doctoral student" and not just a student. Yes, its not TECHNICALLY true until after you pass comps, but the landlord won't know that.

I was getting the run-around from a complex that I KNOW rents to numerous folks in my program. Eventually I realized its because they thought I was an undergrad. As soon as I said "Doctoral student" they did a complete 180.

 

[moonflwr]

I just came back from a trip with my friends which was conveniently located in the city that I'll be moving to in (gasp!) 2 and half months. I found an apartment that I love (yay!). I filled out the application using my current job info. I did mention that I wouldn't have the same income when I moved in and the girl told me that they didn't need to know that right now. In other words, she was telling me to keep my mouth shut about it, lol. Luckily I was approved without a co-signer, which completely surprised me. Now I've just got to figure out how I'm going to keep my cat from flipping out on the 14 hour move.

 

[paramour]

A lot of landlords love students. They are reliable and quiet. If you have a good credit record, they really won't mind if you are living on a stipend. Don't sweat it!

Hint: Always refer to yourself as a "Doctoral student" and not just a student. Yes, its not TECHNICALLY true until after you pass comps, but the landlord won't know that.

I was getting the run-around from a complex that I KNOW rents to numerous folks in my program. Eventually I realized its because they thought I was an undergrad. As soon as I said "Doctoral student" they did a complete 180.

Ditto. Not everyone loves all students because many of them are most definitely not reliable & quiet (a problem when you're trying to find housing in areas that are a bit quieter). However, they typically do enjoy professional students. I had a number of people who would get very snippy with me until I mentioned that I was a doctoral student; all was smooth sailing afterwards. It went from "We're busy and I'm not sure we have anything for you anyway" to "Why, yes, yes, we will have some openings at that time. Here let me show you around. Would you like to pick out a unit? Anything else we can do for you?"

As others have mentioned, you should be fine. If you're looking at housing consisting of predominantly students, they're likely more flexible than others. I've looked at a few places that required the rent be no more than a certain percentage of your salary but they also allowed a co-signer in order to help you meet that requirement. These places were also the ones who actually did the background/credit checks that everyone claims they do (but don't).

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

My favorite place I rented (prior to grad school) was owned by one of my biz clients. Evidently word got out of my relationship with the owner, and I was greeted by a range of refreshments, bagels/muffins/etc and given the red carpet treatment. I was literally coming from court because I had just finished my court case with my old leasing company over there for illegal practices, so to say this was a change of pace was an understatement. I got a great place for under market value, and they dropped off a personalized welcome basket complete with GC's to every bar/restaurant the guy owned. My g/f and I ate free for like a month.

I gave the owner a discount on the next project my firm did for him....it is all about taking care of people.

--

I am in the process of finding a new place to live, and mentioning what I do has definitely helped. One guy offered to waive the security deposit, and another place had the manager lobbying the other roommate to take me on. I have one more place to look, and I'm hoping for a similar outcome.