Indian Parents

BU Medical Sciences
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
R

relapse

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
125
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Why are Indian parents so bad?
 
Why are white, black, asian, and hispanic parents so bad?🙄

Where are those moderators............
 
So random.:laugh:
 
Steeler7588 said:
My parents are awesome. They've been really chill and supportive through this whole process.
Click to expand...

your icon is the best because reggie is the best


"barack obama mof*cker.....I'm the president....I'm the president....of hittin' that ass"
-reggie black
 
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
[YOUTUBE]oXsdH_oA5Fo[/YOUTUBE]
 
My parents are awesome. If you happen to be talking about yours OP, sucks to be you. Sorrry.

🙂
 
All parents have their crazy moments. Accept this, tell them you love them nonetheless, and move on with your life.
 
Steeler7588 said:
My parents are awesome. They've been really chill and supportive through this whole process.
Click to expand...

...This is probably because you actually decided to go into medicine. Would your parents have been as supportive if you had decided to go into another field? Of course yours might, but I've heard some pretty bad things from some of my Indian friends.
 
dukemed22 said:
...This is probably because you actually decided to go into medicine. Would your parents have been as supportive if you had decided to go into another field? Of course yours might, but I've heard some pretty bad things from some of my Indian friends.
Click to expand...

Not for me, but I have so many indian parents calling me telling me they want to send their kids to india.

As if their son/daughter not becoming a Doctor makes them "sub - human"

I don't get where this comes from.
 
Indian parents want best for their kids... and they like to show off 😉
 
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
anonymousername said:
indian parents of guys are awsome
indian parents of girls are overprotective and redonkulous


I went out w/ an indian girl in high school...her parents were insane
Click to expand...

There's this story told in my high school that this indian girl wasn't allowed to go to prom but she secretly went with her boyfriend. Her parents found out and sent her to a monastery.
 
relapse said:
Not for me, but I have so many indian parents calling me telling me they want to send their kids to india.

As if their son/daughter not becoming a Doctor makes them "sub - human"

I don't get where this comes from.
Click to expand...

It is coming from people uneducated and ignorant of other cultures and who base their opinions on racial stereotypes.

p.s. This thread doesn't belong here.
 
This is funny to me...relapse, why did you ask this question? r ur parents giving you a hard time? My dad (Indian) has been supportive for me but he get's neurotic coming up with ways i could get into med school so when he's like that i just leave him out of it and just dont talk about anything med school related. i take advantage of the fact that he doesnt really understand the med school app process so he wont bother me much. But i also understand when Indian parents go psycho about dating! its probably because traditionally indian parents used to choose potential spouses for their kids. I remember in high schoool, there were a whole bunch of indian girls/guys dating etc behind their parents' back, only to have their parents find out and not know what to do. i know some indian parents threaten to send their kid to india lol.
 
dukemed22 said:
...This is probably because you actually decided to go into medicine. Would your parents have been as supportive if you had decided to go into another field? Of course yours might, but I've heard some pretty bad things from some of my Indian friends.
Click to expand...
Neither of my parents are in medicine and they've never once pushed me towards the field. I know parents who were as strict with their sons as they were their daughters. I know parents like what you all are talking about who come from a number of different ethnic backgrounds.

But if generalizations make you feel better...
 
Mopp22 said:
It is coming from people uneducated and ignorant of other cultures and who base their opinions on racial stereotypes.
Click to expand...

I dont think the whole Indians want to be doctors thing is necessarily a racial stereotype. It actually has a deeper meaning. My dad comes from a really poor family in India and he viewed a doctor as someone who would make a difference to others as well as provide financial stability for himself and his family. Same goes with careers in engineering or having a PhD. When you come from a poor background getting higher/well-respected status means something. for some, they want their kids to go into these fields because it is what they think is stable. they may sound oppressive when they tell their children to be a doctor/engineer/professor but they really want their children to have a good future or to maintain some status their family has already acheived.
 
DntStopBelievin said:
This is funny to me...relapse, why did you ask this question? r ur parents giving you a hard time? My dad (Indian) has been supportive for me but he get's neurotic coming up with ways i could get into med school so when he's like that i just leave him out of it and just dont talk about anything med school related. i take advantage of the fact that he doesnt really understand the med school app process so he wont bother me much. But i also understand when Indian parents go psycho about dating! its probably because traditionally indian parents used to choose potential spouses for their kids. I remember in high schoool, there were a whole bunch of indian girls/guys dating etc behind their parents' back, only to have their parents find out and not know what to do. i know some indian parents threaten to send their kid to india lol.
Click to expand...

first hand experience. it sucks. i love my parents and don't want to disappoint them... my last relationship was a trainwreck bc of this. i currently dont date...dunno if that will change 😕

DntStopBelievin said:
I dont think the whole Indians want to be doctors thing is necessarily a racial stereotype. It actually has a deeper meaning. My dad comes from a really poor family in India and he viewed a doctor as someone who would make a difference to others as well as provide financial stability for himself and his family. Same goes with careers in engineering or having a PhD. When you come from a poor background getting higher/well-respected status means something. for some, they want their kids to go into these fields because it is what they think is stable. they may sound oppressive when they tell their children to be a doctor/engineer/professor but they really want their children to have a good future or to maintain some status their family has already acheived.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Very well said.
 
mrivera said:
Indian parents want best for their kids... and they like to show off 😉
Click to expand...

Nearly every parent is like this. They want they best for their kids and will brag about their successes.. Stereotyping generalized past a few individuals becomes false and misguided..
 
Depends on the type of Indian, my dad is Indian and bother's me all the time, but he is cool with it.

My brother has a friend who is Bengali, and his dad makes him study all summer and learn college words and advance topics like geometry and chemistry. This kid is now in 5th grade....I feel so bad for him. He'll probably grow up to be a genius. His dad is nice though and buys him whatever video games he wants, so I guess it's all good.
 
dokte said:
Does he get to play the video games? :laugh:
Click to expand...

Lol, very good point. I once asked my parents for a game. Then, on the day I got it, my Gameboy disappeared so I couldn't play my new game! Turns out my parents took my Gameboy and hid it. I found it a year later in a cupboard.
 
Pedie Packs said:
first hand experience. it sucks. i love my parents and don't want to disappoint them... my last relationship was a trainwreck bc of this. i currently dont date...dunno if that will change 😕
Click to expand...


Oh god. You're preaching to the choir. I don't even want to date now because of my last disaster of a relationship.
 
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
DntStopBelievin said:
I dont think the whole Indians want to be doctors thing is necessarily a racial stereotype. It actually has a deeper meaning. My dad comes from a really poor family in India and he viewed a doctor as someone who would make a difference to others as well as provide financial stability for himself and his family. Same goes with careers in engineering or having a PhD. When you come from a poor background getting higher/well-respected status means something. for some, they want their kids to go into these fields because it is what they think is stable. they may sound oppressive when they tell their children to be a doctor/engineer/professor but they really want their children to have a good future or to maintain some status their family has already acheived.
Click to expand...

It may have started out that way and I understand what you are saying, but most people these days DO use it as a racial sterotype. They are uneducated, small minded, and inexperinced when it comes to other cultures. I can take a joke as much as the next person, but I'm sorry - it makes me angry and offended when people are actually serious when they say things like the OP and others did.
 
I really *love* this tendency to make generalizations. My parents never wanted me to go into medicine, as Indian as they are haha. They never wanted me to a be an engineer or doctor or scientist - They just wanted a stable career for me that would make me happy. Sooo it's not fun when I go to interviews and people poke and poke trying to figure out if my parents have pushed me. It's not really enjoyable for me to try to prove myself and that these are MY ambitions, thanks to this lovely stereotype and the excessively pushy parents out there. If my parents pushed me - I would NOT be going to med school. Those kinds of things work the opposite way for me haha
 
I dont think it's that much of a stretch to say that there is some pressure from most Indian parents to become a doctor...

Steeler, you might not realize it because it's not overt, but do you honestly believe your parents would be equally supportive if you decided to become an artist or something? Doubtful.

It just has to do with where we come from. Most indian immigrants came here as engineers/doctors/programmers/etc., just b/c that's how they got a work visa to come here in the first place. So they hold their children to a higher standard. There's a reason that Indians are considered the new model minority.

I'm not saying it's b/c Indians are smarter or anything, so please don't read it like that. It just has to do with the fact that the first major wave of Indian immigrants consisted of professionals.
 
It's a cultural dichotomy living in the US coming from a verrrryyy traditional indian family. I'm not going to lie, most first generation Indians probably do have added "pressure" to go in the fields stated above. But the culture is different. It's not so much pressure as it is "over-caring"...can't really think of a word to describe it. Indian parents are ever-present even as their kids move into their adult lives (yea, it sucks, like the dating thing mentioned), whereas American parents truly do give their kids a great deal of freedom (just making a general comparison). After most of us first generation kids give way to the second generation, I think the stereotype will die down a bit since we've been integrated into the American culture.
 
daisy44 said:
Steeler, you might not realize it because it's not overt, but do you honestly believe your parents would be equally supportive if you decided to become an artist or something? Doubtful.
Click to expand...
How many parents would be happy with their child becoming an artist? It's a hard living.
 
tmlayl said:
ahhhh Harold and Kumar FTW!!
Click to expand...

When I first saw the promos for this movie, I thought it looked dumb. Then I saw it--was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
 
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Narmerguy said:
It still looks too dumb for me to believe you 🙁
Click to expand...

Well, I guess it's a matter of personal taste. There's a scene at the beginning of the movie showing Kumar's medical school interview (it's why Kumar's dad is so mad)--I believe the scene is floating around on youtube, and it's been posted on SDN. If you don't like that scene, you probably won't like the movie.
 
Pedie Packs said:
most first generation Indians probably do have added "pressure" to go in the fields stated above. But the culture is different. It's not so much pressure as it is "over-caring"...can't really think of a word to describe it. Indian parents are ever-present even as their kids move into their adult lives (yea, it sucks, like the dating thing mentioned), whereas American parents truly do give their kids a great deal of freedom (just making a general comparison).
Click to expand...

This is extremely on point and accurate.

You have to figure that in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and many other countries in the world, adult unmarried children live with their parents until they get married. Parents are a daily and extremely involved part of the lives of their children well into adulthood. My Italian and Russian friends have said very similar things about their own home cultures. I think America is somewhat unique in how much emphasis there is placed on separation and independence of children from their parents.
 
fastboyslim said:
This is extremely on point and accurate.

You have to figure that in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and many other countries in the world, adult unmarried children live with their parents until they get married. Parents are a daily and extremely involved part of the lives of their children well into adulthood. My Italian and Russian friends have said very similar things about their own home cultures. I think America is somewhat unique in how much emphasis there is placed on separation and independence of children from their parents.
Click to expand...

Although what you say is true, its a misnomer. I know of a lot of Indian parents who neglect their kids due to their own failure to integrate into western society. They feel that when they emigrated from India, they were ostracized and marginalized in the workplace and in eventuality realize the discrimination against foreigners.

As a result, they force their kids to do medicine or go into a highly competitive and prestigious field so as to not face the same discrimination that they had to endure during their early years. While most of the kids do not want to go into medicine and are thereby allowed to go to undergrad for a couple years, some of them don't do well. This in turns leads the parents to no other choice but to "punish" the kids while at the same time "giving them the golden opportunity" by sending them overseas, or by telling them to do a post bacc in the U.S. and then applying for med school.
 
relapse said:
Although what you say is true, its a misnomer. I know of a lot of Indian parents who neglect their kids due to their own failure to integrate into western society. They feel that when they emigrated from India, they were ostracized and marginalized in the workplace and in eventuality realize the discrimination against foreigners.

As a result, they force their kids to do medicine or go into a highly competitive and prestigious field so as to not face the same discrimination that they had to endure during their early years. While most of the kids do not want to go into medicine and are thereby allowed to go to undergrad for a couple years, some of them don't do well. This in turns leads the parents to no other choice but to "punish" the kids while at the same time "giving them the golden opportunity" by sending them overseas, or by telling them to do a post bacc in the U.S. and then applying for med school.
Click to expand...

Umm.. yeah I think you are just trying to generalize your specific situation and relate it to all Indian parents. First of all, if you want to talk integration, Indians are by far one of the most integrated minority groups in America from a socioeconomic and linguistic standpoint. Secondly, I think the real reason they encourage their children to enter highly-competitive fields stems from Indian values and the strong emphasis on education, not a fear of their children being discriminated against.

In all, I feel that Indian parents, just like any other caring parents, want the best for their kids (which includes happiness as well as future economic success). I just think that Indian parents are just a little more upfront about it.

Regardless of the pressure though, at the end of the day a person has the right to choose what they want do with their lives. From my experiences, I doubt most Indian parents would abandon their children if they choose not to pursue medicine, although they may be disappointed. If you don't want to do medicine, you shouldn't- I think the patients would benefit more from doctors who are passionate about their work.
 
lol..I thought only kids in India face this. Never knew that even first generation immigrants are the same.

I think Indian parents are slowly becoming progressive. You do have to give them some due though- there are huge generation gaps in terms of mindset in our case. I guess its bound to happen when two extremes come together. Indians as a race have many generations living together, and kids dutifully following parents' decisions.

I did end up in a med school in India because my parents(both docs) wanted me to. Medicine & engineering were the only acceptable professions for a large pool of parents when I graduated from high school. Nowadays its Economics honors & an MBA. Ironically, despite having opportunities to branch out I now want to continue being a doc. I guess I like being a doc. 😳

As far as dating is concerned, it still remains taboo for most middle class Indian parents. They hate to see their daughters mixing up with boys even if they study together and may just be friends. To add to my woes, I went to an all girls med school. However, this did not stop a lot of us from dating! 😉

This pressure is not always a spoken thing though. Usually it is always there like an undercurrent(even when they say "we know you will make the right decision for your future" they mean "we will be terribly disappointed if you don't do what we want"). My parents did not like the guy I was dating and we called it off eventually because I could not handle their continuous scrutiny and judgemental behaviour. 👎

However, despite their overbearing nature- they do mean well. I guess sometimes you just need to be assertive at the cost of being termed rebellious. I got my own voice too late for some things. Now they want to see me married off to a "suitable" boy, but I couldn't care less. I am looking forward to getting into a residency and living alone finally. :xf:
 
#4. *phew* I wonder what is wrong with posting in the forum!
 
Last edited:
schrizto said:
There's this story told in my high school that this indian girl wasn't allowed to go to prom but she secretly went with her boyfriend. Her parents found out and sent her to a monastery.
Click to expand...

ok captain :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
CUSEguy88 said:
Umm.. yeah I think you are just trying to generalize your specific situation and relate it to all Indian parents. First of all, if you want to talk integration, Indians are by far one of the most integrated minority groups in America from a socioeconomic and linguistic standpoint. Secondly, I think the real reason they encourage their children to enter highly-competitive fields stems from Indian values and the strong emphasis on education, not a fear of their children being discriminated against.

In all, I feel that Indian parents, just like any other caring parents, want the best for their kids (which includes happiness as well as future economic success). I just think that Indian parents are just a little more upfront about it.

Regardless of the pressure though, at the end of the day a person has the right to choose what they want do with their lives. From my experiences, I doubt most Indian parents would abandon their children if they choose not to pursue medicine, although they may be disappointed. If you don't want to do medicine, you shouldn't- I think the patients would benefit more from doctors who are passionate about their work.
Click to expand...

umm, I think you are surprisingly mistaken. I don't think you've seen an Indian community that lives in the U.S. Its not generalizing when there are pockets of Indian parents living throughout the U.S. in major cities that only associate with each other most of the time because theyre the only ones that feel the same way they do about living in the U.S. Either your dumb or your ignorant for not realizing that there is vast discrimination in the white dominated field of medicine in the U.S. You rarely see Indians go into the Ivy's or top tier university affiliated places because of this. They do their best so that the kid doesn't end up on the last rung of the social ladder and get treated like **** which is good.

A lot of the kids that don't become doctors are considered somehow "sub-human" and therefore ostracized themselves when theyre given a chance that they screw up in another field.
 
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

P
CSS profile age cutoffs for parents
Replies
0
Views
628
pleasehelpme12
P
Y
Worth filling out CSS with high income parents?
Replies
1
Views
1K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
j_diggity
CSS Profile Issues w/ step-parents - can anyone help?
Replies
0
Views
1K
j_diggity
j_diggity
M
Not able to include contributors (parents) in FAFSA submission
Replies
9
Views
8K
brevity
brevity
R
wamc school list help ct resident ORM (Indian male) 2.9 gpa ug/3.6 post bacc
Replies
10
Views
2K
rmaindn
R
Top Bottom