internship start and wedding date troubles

[tripawdmom]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

Hi everyone,

I am a fourth-year veterinary student hoping to pursue specialty medicine (undecided which speciality), so I know that completing a rotating internship will be an important next step. I would really appreciate any insight from those who have gone through the VIRMP/match process, especially regarding internship start dates and flexibility around major life events.

I am getting married about a year from now, and based on the start dates I have seen for recently matched rotating internships, I am becoming increasingly concerned that my wedding may fall very close to the beginning of internship. Our wedding date is essentially set at this point due to church and venue availability, deposits that have already been paid, and the fact that when the initial planning began about 6 months ago, I was unable to find definitive information on program start dates.

I realize that, in the context of a long-term career, this may seem like a relatively small or short-term concern. However, my wedding is something my fiancé and I have been looking forward to and planning for a long time, and I am trying to be realistic about what to expect. My main questions are: how soon after graduation do rotating internships typically begin, and is there usually any flexibility for a wedding weekend or a short honeymoon before starting? For those who matched into rotating internships, did you have any time between graduation and your start date, or did you feel like you had to relocate and start almost immediately?

We are beginning to look at honeymoon options and plan to purchase trip insurance regardless, but I am unsure whether a honeymoon is something I should realistically count on before internship. I am also worried about spending my wedding weekend stressed about moving or starting work right afterward, rather than being able to enjoy it.

I would really appreciate any honest advice, experiences, or perspective from anyone who has navigated something similar or has insight into how internship start dates and scheduling tend to work.

Thank you very much in advance!

 

[SkiOtter]

I didn’t do an internship and I don’t know anything about whether they would delay a start for a wedding, but I doubt they’d delay for a honeymoon, so that may unfortunately have to be something you do for a future anniversary or if you’re able to use some of your few vacation days you’re allotted for that. When is your wedding date?

 

[tripawdmom]

I didn’t do an internship and I don’t know anything about whether they would delay a start for a wedding, but I doubt they’d delay for a honeymoon, so that may unfortunately have to be something you do for a future anniversary or if you’re able to use some of your few vacation days you’re allotted for that. When is your wedding date?

June 12 of next year... which I am quickly realizing is extremely unfortunate for this situation lol

I am also extremely overwhelmed by the idea of having to move right before our wedding and then immediately turn around and start working right after graduation. I also was more on the fence about specializing when we began wedding planning so I wish I had given myself more space to think about it all..

 

[supershorty]

I wouldn't expect any flexibility on a start date if it's an internship through the Match, particularly if it's an academic one. The 12th may be early enough that you skate by without it being an issue, or with it being during orientation, so something might be able to be worked out there. But I'd expect a basically 0% chance of any sort of leeway for a honeymoon and plan to do that at a different time.

I had about a month between my vet school graduation and my start date at my rotating internship, for what that's worth.

 

[tripawdmom]

I wouldn't expect any flexibility on a start date if it's an internship through the Match, particularly if it's an academic one. The 12th may be early enough that you skate by without it being an issue, or with it being during orientation, so something might be able to be worked out there. But I'd expect a basically 0% chance of any sort of leeway for a honeymoon and plan to do that at a different time.

I had about a month between my vet school graduation and my start date at my rotating internship, for what that's worth.

We graduate in early May, either the first or second week, though the exact date has not been confirmed yet. Because of that, I had hoped June would be a safer month to get married, but now I am starting to second-guess myself.

I think part of what is making this feel so hard is that it sometimes feels difficult to have the “normal” life milestones that many people seem to get, even though I know this is the path I chose and am truly excited about. My people-pleasing side is also making this more stressful because I am already in two weddings in summer of 2027 and would likely need to use vacation time for those as well. These are really important moments in the lives of the people closest to me, and I want to be present for them, too. It feels like the classic dilemma of wanting everything, but realizing that may not be realistic.

I apologize for getting emotional on the internet with strangers. I think I am just struggling because I do not have many people to talk to who fully understand this specific situation. Many of my classmates who are pursuing specialty medicine are either already married, single, or not currently planning to get married, so I have been feeling a little alone in trying to navigate all of this.

 

[supershorty]

We graduate in early May, either the first or second week, though the exact date has not been confirmed yet.

If doing a honeymoon is something you know is really important to you guys, you could think about doing it before the wedding in that gap between graduation and start date. It's not the traditional order of events, and you'd have to figure out moving (if needed) around that, but it would likely be a more feasible way to get in some sort of trip before your schedule is very much out of your hands.

 

[JaynaAli]

Agree with ski and shorty. Most internships start middle of June, a few maybe pushing into end of June/July 1. But start dates end up having to be pretty strict and are fairly set, because incoming interns need a little overlap with outgoing interns, and the outgoing interns still need a couple weeks to move to residency location and start in early to mid July.

My internship started June 13. I had five weeks off between graduation and starting.

You can always email program coordinators for places you’re interested in and ask what the start date is if it’s not specified on the VIRMP listing, and only rank ones with later start dates that work with your schedule. But you’d probably be laughed at if you ask to miss the first week for a honeymoon. The first week orientation is pretty critical. If the wedding and a honeymoon is of utmost importance to you, I would potentially recommend waiting a year before becoming an intern and trying to match the subsequent year if moving the wedding isn’t an option.

Also, respectfully…how much vacation time do you think interns get if you’re hoping to take off for a honeymoon and two other weddings? I had 7 days of leave for the entire year and that included sick days and time off for job/residency interviews. So realistically we didn’t get “vacation” because we needed those days for illness or for interviews. Maybe things have changed some since I was an intern but I suspect not that much.

 

[tripawdmom]

Agree with ski and shorty. Most internships start middle of June, a few maybe pushing into end of June/July 1. But start dates end up having to be pretty strict and are fairly set, because incoming interns need a little overlap with outgoing interns, and the outgoing interns still need a couple weeks to move to residency location and start in early to mid July.

My internship started June 13. I had five weeks off between graduation and starting.

You can always email program coordinators for places you’re interested in and ask what the start date is if it’s not specified on the VIRMP listing, and only rank ones with later start dates that work with your schedule. But you’d probably be laughed at if you ask to miss the first week for a honeymoon. The first week orientation is pretty critical. If the wedding and a honeymoon is of utmost importance to you, I would potentially recommend waiting a year before becoming an intern and trying to match the subsequent year.

Also, respectfully…how much vacation time do you think interns get if you’re hoping to take off for a honeymoon and two other weddings? I had 7 days of leave for the entire year and that included sick days and time off for job/residency interviews. So realistically we didn’t get “vacation” because we needed those days for illness or for interviews. Maybe things have changed some since I was an intern but I suspect not that much.

I think most places give 10 days, which doesn't seem to be too different than when you went through internship. I was definitely not expecting a lot of time off in my internship year. I did not consider that we would need to use vacation for interviews which makes sense. Thank you for letting me know!

 

[JaynaAli]

Virtual interviews are probably much more common than they were when I was an intern over a decade ago, but my point about vacation being limited still stands.

 

[supershorty]

I had 7 days of leave for the entire year and that included sick days and time off for job/residency interviews. So realistically we didn’t get “vacation” because we needed those days for illness or for interviews. Maybe things have changed some since I was an intern but I suspect not that much.

I think I had 10 as a rotating, but 5 of them were automatically allocated/I had no say in them, and the others had pretty strict requirements on when they could be used (only during elective blocks) to the point that I didn't use all of them.

 

[supershorty]

OP might get really lucky with the 12th because I bet many/most internships will start the week of the 14th, looking at the calendar.

 

[JaynaAli]

My residency gave us 10 days I think but barring a major life emergency (like the week when my dad was in a motorcycle accident and in the hospital, my sister had a baby, and my grandma died so there was also a funeral) we could only use them when we were off clinics, a schedule that was set 6 months in advance. But when I was called for jury duty I was told there was no jury duty leave and I’d have to use my vacation days if I was selected for the jury. Thank goodness I was excused, didn’t have to serve, and only had to use one vacation day for the day I had to report for jury selection.

 

[JaynaAli]

Honestly a honeymoon a year later to celebrate the first anniversary and being done with internship hell isn’t a bad idea.

 

[JaynaAli]

I went to look at VIRMP since it's been a few years since I did much looking, and it does look like program dates are prominently displayed on each listing, so at least that'll make it easier for OP to figure out where they may want to apply and exactly what dates are expected of them.