interview q: tell me a good joke?

[johndoe3344]

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Got any good ones?

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

your mom is so old, she farts dust.

 

[Compass]

If I were asked this question, I would make a sarcastic remark that would elicit laughter.

 

[BlueElmo]

Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her.

 

[lstone13]

Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her.

Hahaha I really like this one!

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

that was pretty clever. here are some more:

Jokes

More Jokes

 

[Schemp]

If we're going for science jokes, my favorite is this pickup line:

Girl, if I could be any enzyme I'd be DNA helicase, because I wanna unzip your jeans.

 

[Beren]

I just heard this one today, "Your mama is so fat that her blood type is rocky road."

 

[BlueElmo]

Adcoms are really going to heart yo mama jokes.

 

[Zona Pellucida]

I really hope I am never asked this.

I only find humor in amusing situations/irony/sarcasm/vulgarity.

 

[armybound]

There are only 10 kinds of people, those who know binary and those who don't

 

[CupcakeMD]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

 

[Schemp]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

I feel dirty.

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

Can you substitute that paragraph with vas deferens, epididymis, bulbourethral gland?

 

[Van Chowder]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

HAHHA thats a good one lol

 

[Van Chowder]

-Whats the difference between a Black man and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

-What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
A: Avalance

-What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill
A: Mudslide

-What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: Jailbreak! hahaha lol I love that one!

IDK how the racist jokes woul go with adcoms though lol

 

[Schemp]

-Whats the difference between a Black man and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

-What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
A: Avalance

-What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill
A: Mudslide

-What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: Jailbreak! hahaha lol I love that one!

IDK how the racist jokes woul go with adcoms though lol

lol, definitely not well.

 

[nlax30]

Yo Mama's so fat her genes dont fit her.

Of course this one would only work if you wrote it down for them instead of just telling it to them.

 

[injunjoe]

Three Latvian are brag about sons. "My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want," say first Latvian.

"Zo?" second say, "My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!"

Third Latvian wait long time, then say, "My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over."

"Wow! You are win us," say others.

But all are feel sad.

 

[Jolt21]

"After this interview, you guys give me an acceptance."

see how that would go over.

 

[nlax30]

Here's one if you need some simple, clean medical humor: was told to me by a surgeon during a bowel repair I was watching.

So a man goes to his doctor and the doctor says, "I have good news and bad news..... Good news is you have 24 hours live."

Man asks, "well then what's the bad news?"

Doctor: "I forgot to tell you yesterday."

 

[BlueElmo]

Another clean joke.

A guy has a tooth extracted and is charged $35. He says, "$35 for five minute work? That's not fair."
The dentist says, "well, if you want, I can take more time doing it."

 

[Yudid]

-What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill?
A: Jailbreak!

IDK how the racist jokes woul go with adcoms though lol

No offends ppl but this one is hilarious 😉 👍👍👍

 

[Harry Bahgina]

Three gay guys are sitting in the tub taking a bath when one sees some semen floating by, he then says "who farted?".

What do you call four white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA.

 

[mechtel]

"Girl, let me be your derivative. I want to lie tangent to your curves."

 

[casillas]

"After this interview, you guys give me an acceptance."

see how that would go over.

and if the interviewer bursts out laughing, you have a problem

 

[mechtel]

.

 

[CupcakeMD]

Can you substitute that paragraph with vas deferens, epididymis, bulbourethral gland?

What fun would that be 😛

 

[Marjan Islam]

Did you guys know that diarrhea is hereditary?

Yeah, it runs in the jeans ...(genes)

hahahahahahahaha 😕

 

[BlueElmo]

Did you guys know that diarrhea is hereditary?

Yeah, it runs in the jeans ...(genes)

hahahahahahahaha 😕

so lame it's actually funny.

 

[WNT Signaling]

Do you like physics? 'Cause I want to know if you'd like to help me calculate the spring constant in my mattress

 

[mechtel]

Did you guys know that diarrhea is hereditary?

Yeah, it runs in the jeans ...(genes)

hahahahahahahaha 😕

Diarrhea? Do you mean (CO(NH2)2)2?

 

[GoSpursGo]

If we're going for science jokes, my favorite is this pickup line:

Girl, if I could be any enzyme I'd be DNA helicase, because I wanna unzip your jeans.

I would not use this one on an interviewer. Particularly if it is a male 😀

 

[Maxx4]

There are only 10 kinds of people, those who know binary and those who don't

It's not as funny when you say it out loud. 😉 😀

 

[Crash88]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

I seriously died a little inside

 

[brooklynblunder]

your mama is so nasty, she has to put ice between her legs just to keep her crabs fresh

- shaq

 

[Food]

your mama is so nasty, she has to put ice between her legs just to keep her crabs fresh

- shaq

Sweet. I'm using that one.

 

[Jfz]

ok..

there is a chair...the chair eh.uh..walk..heh hweh..with a shoes...la la la la la he walk on the street! haha the chair is a walking! hahaha..yes

 

[BlueElmo]

ok..

there is a chair...the chair eh.uh..walk..heh hweh..with a shoes...la la la la la he walk on the street! haha the chair is a walking! hahaha..yes

are you high man?

 

[vin5cent0]

"After this interview, you guys give me an acceptance."

see how that would go over.

Hahahhaha that is awesome. Sorry, but if I'm ever asked that at an interview, I'm stealing this response

 

[InvitroDerm]

ok..

there is a chair...the chair eh.uh..walk..heh hweh..with a shoes...la la la la la he walk on the street! haha the chair is a walking! hahaha..yes

ROFL

😛

 

[strummin]

ok..

there is a chair...the chair eh.uh..walk..heh hweh..with a shoes...la la la la la he walk on the street! haha the chair is a walking! hahaha..yes

LMAO I love Borat.. I have to go on YouTube to search for that clip now!!

 

[Maxx4]

It's Borat's chair joke.

 

[Yudid]

It's Borat's chair joke.

Do you guys find Borat funny???? I find it stupid...

BTW this thread is very funny however, i think jokes about moms are rude..

 

[Maxx4]

Nope and I didn't care for Bruno either.

 

[Yudid]

Nope and I didn't care for Bruno either.

While we started about Borat/Bruno topic here is my situation: Originally i am from Uzbekistan. So when i tell it to people they always tell me "Hey have u seen Borat movie? he is talking about ur country..." then they usually start telling me all the jokes from the movie. It is just sooo annoying...

 

[muhali3]

While we started about Borat/Bruno topic here is my situation: Originally i am from Uzbekistan. So when i tell it to people they always tell me "Hey have u seen Borat movie? he is talking about ur country..." then they usually start telling me all the jokes from the movie. It is just sooo annoying...

well they're ******ed anyways because he's supposed to be from Kazakhstan.

 

[Yudid]

well they're ******ed anyways because he's supposed to be from Kazakhstan.

Thanks for understanding 😉

 

[Kestrel004]

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

 

[BenUstudent]

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my Golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?
Let me know if this makes you secrete.

+1 Nice