Interview tips for non-trad applicants

[PizzaButt]

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This is for the non-trad applicants: were there any questions that you got asked in the interview specific to your non-traditional status? Such as questions like, are you married, what does your spouse think of your career plans, are you planning to have children, etc.

I know that I got asked a lot of questions about what my husband thinks of my career choice in the med school admissions process, which was irritating.

Thanks!

 

[empathiosis]

I'm a non-trad and I'll be at my first interview next Monday, so I'll tell you when I get back from it! It doesn't seem right to me that those questions would be asked. It's really none of their business I think. If I get asked anything that doesn't pertain directly to psychology, I will attempt to steer the focus back to my love of psychology. What difference does it make what your husband thinks of anything? That's absurd. How did you answer?

This is for the non-trad applicants: were there any questions that you got asked in the interview specific to your non-traditional status? Such as questions like, are you married, what does your spouse think of your career plans, are you planning to have children, etc.

I know that I got asked a lot of questions about what my husband thinks of my career choice in the med school admissions process, which was irritating.

Thanks!

 

[psychwanabe]

I did not get asked any questions like that. However, one of my LOR writers put in her letter that she knew I had a husband that was willing to relocate, was very supportive, etc., so maybe that's why it didn't come up in interviews.

I kept my age and personal life pretty close to the vest, though. I didn't want that to bias anyone against me. One of my profs told me not to volunteer any extraneous info about myself, and I stuck to that.

 

[PizzaButt]

So if you're in your 30's, you would try to avoid discussing that? Or if you're married, not bring that up? I have noticed from past experience in regular employment interviews, that once I mention the word "husband," such as, "my husband and I just relocated here" it opens it up for the interviewer to start asking lots of questions, such as "what does your husband do?" and "where did you meet" and "what does your husband think of your career" and "is your husband following you around the country for your career"? I've gotten all of these comments in regular job interviews.

 

[deleted176373]

My experience was that they avoid these questions to avoid any possible accusations of age discrimination.

Mark

 

[empathiosis]

Those questions would be inappropriate in a job interview and I think they're inappropriate in a doctoral program interview as well. They should be interviewing YOU to determine if you're a good fit for their company/position/school, NOT to gauge your commitment to your marriage and/or your husband's agreeableness. Your relationship to your husband should be off limits to interviewers I think. And this applies even though you mentioned you were married. I just can't believe how inappropriate people can be during employment interviews.

So if you're in your 30's, you would try to avoid discussing that? Or if you're married, not bring that up? I have noticed from past experience in regular employment interviews, that once I mention the word "husband," such as, "my husband and I just relocated here" it opens it up for the interviewer to start asking lots of questions, such as "what does your husband do?" and "where did you meet" and "what does your husband think of your career" and "is your husband following you around the country for your career"? I've gotten all of these comments in regular job interviews.

 

[PizzaButt]

How should I prepare for the interview? I was not a psych major (though I took some pre-reqs this year), so I'm concerned I won't be able to answer any questions they ask about psych subject matter.

What did you do to prepare for the interview? Read books/journal articles, etc.? Are there any threads on this already?

 

[empathiosis]

There are several current threads on preparing for interviews. Several of them list questions that you might be asked. I don't expect to be asked any psych specific stuff. I don't know who I'll be interviewing with because I'm going to a PsyD interview and they don't operate on a mentorship model. I will review the faculty research interests to get a general idea. And then just answer their questions to the best of my ability ...

I interviewed many years ago at UMass Amherst and UVM. UVM was a phone interview and I remember a focus on research: what I had done and what I'd like to do in their program. I was totally unprepared and didn't do very well. The UMass interview was a day-long affair with grad students and several professors and it was really quite laid back. I don't remember being asked anything that I felt I couldn't answer. Although I did have a stress interview with one professor. She started out by saying, Tell me about yourself and then didn't say anything else and just stared at me.

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[psychanon]

It's really not unusual to be married in a doctoral program-- probably more than 50% of grad students are either married when they start or get married during the course of grad school, and others are in serious live-in relationships. It's also not at all unusual to be over 30, so I wouldn't think of yourself so much as non-traditional.

It would be illegal for interviewers to take into consideration what your husband thinks about you going to grad school. Of course, that doesn't mean that students or profs won't talk to you about your husband-- they want to get to know you, after all. They also are trying to recruit you, remember, so they probably will want to tell you all about what the area has to offer both in terms of job opportunities for your spouse.

 

[PizzaButt]

Here's the thing: I always avoid telling what my husband does for a living, because I don't like the reactions I get to his job. I always try to avoid the question, or give oblique answers to that question. Otherwise it results in obnoxious comments about his work.

 

[empathiosis]

Now I am really curious about what he does!

Here's the thing: I always avoid telling what my husband does for a living, because I don't like the reactions I get to his job. I always try to avoid the question, or give oblique answers to that question. Otherwise it results in obnoxious comments about his work.

 

[PizzaButt]

He's a doctor. I absolutely hate the comments I get when I am forced to say what he does. I have gotten these comments during job interviews, even. What he does for a living puts people off, no doubt about it. And that really bothers me. Or I get comments such as, "why are you undertaking such a hard career? If I were you I wouldn't work at all" or "is your husband really willing to uproot his career to follow you all over the country?"

The thing is, people assume that as a doctor's wife, you will follow the doctor, not the other way around. I get a lot of flack for the fact that my husband will be following me around the country for my career. People cannot understand that and always have all sorts of nosy questions about it. So I want to avoid having this discussion in the interview.

I am also concerned about what my husband's occupation is might affect what funding I get. I don't want his job to influence me not getting funding just because of his job.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

He's a doctor.

I think SDN is one place where you probably won't get these comments, as many here are involved/married to docs.

 

[PizzaButt]

I think SDN is one place where you probably won't get these comments, as many here are involved/married to docs.

I'm saying that in the interview, I don't want to discuss what my husband does for a living, but people seem to suggest that it will come up in the interview. I would prefer not to discuss what he does for a living, given my explanation in the above post.

 

[empathiosis]

It's just amazing what people do! If you were a man do you think you would get asked about what your wife does at an interview, and how she feels about having to move? You probably wouldn't be ... In any event, I would like to think that you won't get questions like that during your interviews. Maybe you just shouldn't mention him.

How many programs have you applied to?

I'm saying that in the interview, I don't want to discuss what my husband does for a living, but people seem to suggest that it will come up in the interview. I would prefer not to discuss what he does for a living, given my explanation in the above post.

 

[PizzaButt]

Well, I do want to mention that I'm married and over 30 because of the life experience/maturity it has given me and how that might differentiate me from other applicants who might be straight out of college. But on the other hand, I don't want to have to deal with nosy questions about how my husband feels about uprooting his practice to follow my career. So I'm unsure of how to proceed.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Well, I do want to mention that I'm married and over 30 because of the life experience/maturity it has given me and how that might differentiate me from other applicants who might be straight out of college. But on the other hand, I don't want to have to deal with nosy questions about how my husband feels about uprooting his practice to follow my career. So I'm unsure of how to proceed.

That *can* make a difference....even if they don't say it. I just finished up my internship interviews and I realized that all of my top sites were places that preferred non-trads, and that I matched up favorably with them. I remember making an early 80's joke at one of the interviews and everyone in the room laughed, then I paused and said, "Thank God!" and then everyone laughed again because we all realized that we normally can't make those jokes because not everyone/no one would get them. Obviously this is an N=1, but I thought it was worth posting.

 

[Ollie123]

It's just amazing what people do! If you were a man do you think you would get asked about what your wife does at an interview, and how she feels about having to move?

Actually yes, yes you would be. Probably not as often, but it does happen - I've heard TONS of stories about this during my HR days, and I know of other applicants (males) who were asked about their significant others during both job and school applications.

 

[chinaKat]

I've already decided that I'm not going to mention my children unless it comes up. It might, because I took some time off from working to have kids, and so there's a hole in my cv, timewise. I'm going to try to just leave it at "I took some time off to spend time with my family" and then move on from there.

I'm not worried about mentioning my husband because I'm 37, so it's not really out of the question that I'd be married at this point. I probably wouldn't explicitly mention my age in an interview, but it's relatively obvious from looking at me that I'm not an undergrad. I mean, I'm youthful, but not THAT youthful. 🙂

The one really great thing about being a non-trad candidate is that I've been to a bunch of really important interviews before this one... so I'm a little more comfortable with the whole process, and a little less intimidated by it.

 

[GiantSteps]

My experience was that they avoid these questions to avoid any possible accusations of age discrimination.

Mark

Those questions would be inappropriate in a job interview and I think they're inappropriate in a doctoral program interview as well. They're interviewing you to see if you're a good fit for their company/position/school, to to gauge your commitment to your marriage and/or your husband's agreeableness. They're not interviewing your husband. And this applies even though you mentioned you were married. I can't believe people would be so inappropriate!

Actually yes, yes you would be. Probably not as often, but it does happen - I've heard TONS of stories about this during my HR days, and I know of other applicants (males) who were asked about their significant others during both job and school applications.

PizzaButt,
Ollie123 is very realistic. Expect the inappropriate. People in academic psychology seem to love phrasing questions such as "Not that it is any of my business but ...?" Fortunately, they are easily distracted and you can use this to your advantage by steering the conversation back, tactfully, to important and relevant matters. Also, as others have pointed out, you will not be the only non-traditional student so relax. Besides, many schools ask the same exact questions to everyone regardless of their individual experiences which in some ways may be more depressing since it may appear that they come away from the interviews knowing very little about what makes you unique other than the answers which you provided. Finally, as others have also said, no matter what you say, put a positive spin on it-no apologizing for anything, it is all for the good, especiall the schools good.

 

[deleted176373]

PizzaButt,
Ollie123 is very realistic. Expect the inappropriate. People in academic psychology seem to love phrasing questions such as "Not that it is any of my business but ...?"

It's true, It's possible you will get some inappropriate questions. I know that although they did tend to avoid them, I had a few that were a little nosy about how I felt about moving there and did I have any ties to where I was now that would make me consider not relocating. (That is how they tended to phrase it. Which is legal, after all your willingness to relocate is a fair question.)

I was not asked about my wife, not that I can recall at least, but I also did not wear a wedding ring either. Simply not wearing a ring can have an effect on how things go, but it's not uncommon to see newly married and engaged women at the interviews... so I don't think that is cause for much concern as you might think.

Relax... I blew interviews more by over thinking the process than I did by just being myself.

Mark

 

[Thrak]

While I don't recommend it to everyone, I handled the age/marriage question head on. I actually addressed it in my statement of purpose. I felt I needed to, as it answered two questions: 1) why did I wait so long to apply, even after having a masters in psych and 3 years + as a full-time research assistant, and 2) why I moved to Boston. My recommenders/mentors/supervisors all basically said "Wife going to law school" is an acceptable answer to admissions committees.

As for the kids question, reading my cv, reading between the lines of my masters thesis, or most directly, googling my name, will make it pretty clear that I don't, and won't, be having kids. If I feel the need to hide this fact during interviews, it's pretty indicative they'd be unlikely to support my research interests. It would automatically be a bad fit for me.

 

[Ollie123]

Really though, I think the most important thing you can do is stop worrying so much about being a non-trad!

I mention this not in a refusal to acknowledge our differences (DW Sue anyone? ), but because you mention it in just about every single post you make and I get the feeling its a source of serious anxiety for you. THAT is much more likely to cause a problem than a few years (or even decades) of age difference. I also think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the average age at many programs. Plenty of schools have an average matriculation age in the upper 20's. Still a bit younger but 28 is a LOT different from a 21 year old who just got their BA a week before leaving for grad school. Every interview I went on had at least a few people in their 30's (and one in their 40's). We didn't isolate them in a corner and call them grandpa and grandma, they were just a few more nervous-as-hell applicants trying to demonstrate they had what it takes to be a psych grad student. You might get a few different questions, but so what? A 24 year old who just got married might also have to explain the whole "family" thing.

My point being, relax. You're interviewing with academics, half of whom probably aspire to still be working 60 hours a week at age 100 anyways, so they won't see anything odd about someone just getting started in their 30's. There's plenty of more important things for you to be focusing on for the interview than your age.

 

[psychwanabe]

...I don't expect to be asked any psych specific stuff. I don't know who I'll be interviewing with because I'm going to a PsyD interview and they don't operate on a mentorship model. I will review the faculty research interests to get a general idea. And then just answer their questions to the best of my ability ...

Don't be too sure about that! My most demanding questions were from an interview for a PsyD program, and one of them was "So what do you think of Piaget's methods?"

I'm saying that in the interview, I don't want to discuss what my husband does for a living, but people seem to suggest that it will come up in the interview. I would prefer not to discuss what he does for a living, given my explanation in the above post.

If it does come up and you're not comfortable talking about it, just say he's in a professional field and is flexible with moving if required by your career plans. He's supportive. That's a great thing for a program to know because you're going to be working your butt off and it will be helpful for them to know that he is going to be helpful, not causing you problems.

Well, I do want to mention that I'm married and over 30 because of the life experience/maturity it has given me and how that might differentiate me from other applicants who might be straight out of college. But on the other hand, I don't want to have to deal with nosy questions about how my husband feels about uprooting his practice to follow my career. So I'm unsure of how to proceed.

The life experience/maturity thing can go both ways. You may not have the stamina (I'm speaking from personal experience but I think I'm older than you) of the 20-somethings to keep up with the workload. Hopefully though, those of us who are older can work smarter to make up for that.

PizzaButt,
Ollie123 is very realistic. Expect the inappropriate. People in academic psychology seem to love phrasing questions such as "Not that it is any of my business but ...?" Fortunately, they are easily distracted and you can use this to your advantage by steering the conversation back, tactfully, to important and relevant matters. Also, as others have pointed out, you will not be the only non-traditional student so relax. Besides, many schools ask the same exact questions to everyone regardless of their individual experiences which in some ways may be more depressing since it may appear that they come away from the interviews knowing very little about what makes you unique other than the answers which you provided. Finally, as others have also said, no matter what you say, put a positive spin on it-no apologizing for anything, it is all for the good, especiall the schools good.

Ollie & GS are both right. You are going to really have to stay on your toes in the interview, but you can do it! Most interviews are not as nerve-wracking as you think, so relax.

And Ollie makes a good point that you seem to be excessively worried about the age thing. Just let it go. It is what it is, and there are a good number of applicants like you out there so don't worry that it is such a big deal.

 

[psychwanabe]

I mention this not in a refusal to acknowledge our differences (DW Sue anyone? )

It's funny that you mentioned this...I'm in the middle of his textbook for my Diversity class right now.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

It's funny that you mentioned this...I'm in the middle of his textbook for my Diversity class right now.

I still get flashbacks from that book! Is it the Sue & Sue green/aqua blue book? For as much as parts of it really annoyed me, I thought it was a very good text, even if my being a white male made me evil, unaware, and unable to fully comprehend all of the advantages that I have. 😀

 

[CheetahGirl]

I always avoid telling what my husband does for a living, because I don't like the reactions I get to his job. I always try to avoid the question, or give oblique answers to that question.

I've already decided that I'm not going to mention my children unless it comes up.

One of the most important things I learned about the interview is to say only what you feel comfortable talking about. You’re being interviewed by psychologists (generally) that have mastered the art of sizing people up based on information that they choose to disclose. Just remember whatever you say on your interview becomes an open invitation for further discussion. I feel everyone starts her/his interview as the “perfect candidate” and interviewers test those limits. If you are not comfortable talking about what your husband does for a living, you should come up a strong “canned” answer because interviewers will see conflict in your hesitation and wonder what is wrong. When the admissions committees are reviewing all the candidates and your file is passed around, the less doubt about you on the table, the better.

Just my 2 cents…but, wait there’s more…😉

I briefly mentioned my marital status/children in my personal statement. During group interviews (one PhD program, one PsyD program), I was not asked about my marital status or children (I have two kids). However, in an individual interview (another PhD program), I described an interaction with my son, so they asked how old he was. I invited it, so I proceeded to mention that I have two kids and their ages. The interviewers mentioned the commitments of the program and asked if I had any qualms. I turned the entire situation into a positive by saying that I was very stable and very organized (because it's easier to be an organized, stable parent, then a chicken-with-your-head-cut-off parent) and my family was unbelievable supportive. I planned to treat my graduate training as an intense full-time job, and since I have always been a working mom, I saw no conflict because I was dedicated to making it work.

The school where I discussed my children is now the program that I'm attending. And I absolutely love it. Being a parent in graduate school is tough and I could not do it without the support of my husband, but we manage and no one is being left behind. We’ve all adjusted nicely to the intense demands.

By the way, during the individual interview, I was asked what my husband did for a living and I was proud to say what he did (he’s a business owner). The type of business he does has a very human element to it (as I'm sure most jobs do) and I mentioned how I enjoyed discussing his work with him because of those human elements.

PizzaButt, be prepared with a canned answer and MAYBE sharing the sterotypical perceptions in a positive way...add a joke, share the fact that you do not live in each other's shadows, but side-by-side...as I'm sure the case may be. The interviewers want to see your self-awareness.

I am also concerned about what my husband's occupation is might affect what funding I get. I don't want his job to influence me not getting funding just because of his job.

It may not affect your graduate award, but may affect the amount of your un/subsidized loans (you may already be familiar with this). My husband's annual salary did not affect my graduate award.

 

[psychwanabe]

I still get flashbacks from that book! Is it the Sue & Sue green/aqua blue book? For as much as parts of it really annoyed me, I thought it was a very good text, even if my being a white male made me evil, unaware, and unable to fully comprehend all of the advantages that I have. 😀

Well, mine is purple/lavendar with big rocks (??) on the cover, but it is Sue & Sue. 5th edition, that's probably the difference. There are 4 white guys in my class and I always wonder what they're thinking. I try to keep an open mind and just keep things in context. It helps to be also learning that pathologies know no race/ethnicity/gender/sexual preference! Equal opportunities there. 🙄

 

[a7dk]

Hi guys, if you're anxious about being non-trad, my advice is: don't be. It's not that big a deal. I was non-trad, married, early thirties, no kids. I did not wear my wedding ring on interviews b/c I didn't want it to come up and I (like you) certainly didn't want to stand out as older. I did get one comment from a professor who asked me to explain why I seemed "more mature" than other candidates. I gave her the spiel about life experience. It was fine in the end, although admittedly nerve-wracking at the time.

If it helps, the program I am in now has several married students, even some with children. I wouldn't bring it up in the interview, but don't treat it like a big secret either.

Good luck all!