Is Anyone Else Afraid of the Future?

[Mad Jack]

---

Members do not see this ad.

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

 

[Goro]

Medicine is a calling, like being a priest or a fireman.

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

 

[jemill]

I think about things like that as well. I have 2 years left of undergrad and will be almost 27 when I graduate. I probably will be applying to matriculate into med school for the 2017-18 school year. I don't see it as giving everything up, I see it as discovering who is willing to tough it out with me during those years when I may not speak to anyone from home for weeks at a time or longer. If I am still with my BF by then, we will have been together for 7 years, and I am still sticking to my plan that if he can't accept me going wherever I need to go to make myself the best person I can be then he's not worth my time. It might be different if we had children or were married, but fortunately I don't have those things to take into consideration when the time comes. I can't imagine how difficult the whole process might be with a family to take care of, but if they can make it work, there is no reason we can't (no mention of kids so I assume you have none Mad Jack). 🙂

I just turn all my thoughts of terror and uncertainty into motivational speeches. 🙂

 

[solitarius]

Is your girl not willing to come along for the ride?

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

"Nearly" 30 doesn't even seem that old to do a career reset.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

What's there to be afraid of? You're not throwing anything away, you're just doing something new. Where are they going? They'll be around or they wont, it's really the same no matter what you do. Over time strong friendships will endure and weak ones will wither. Sure, medicine may accelerate this process but it will happen anyways. You aren't throwing anything away, you're growing into a new person.

 

[Mad Jack]

"Nearly" 30 doesn't even seem that old to do a career reset.

It isn't just a career change though. I'll be a couple months away from the big 3-0 and basically starting over at life. If I were just switching jobs, no big. But I care a lot about the people I care about, I guess; I've got a really tight group of friends. I guess I'm kind of scared of losing that, as I don't really have a close family and they're kind of the closest thing to family I've got. But looking at @NuttyEngDude's post I guess I'm a bit less worried. It'll work or it won't, and if it didn't it doesn't matter I guess.

Is your girl not willing to come along for the ride?

I don't know how good of an idea it would be. She isn't the greatest at making friends, has never lived more than ten miles from where she was born, and is an artist, so finding a new job would be quite hard. Basically she'd be in a strange place and have no one to hang out with and nothing to do and I'd be working on my coursework all the time. Not really a good recipe for a happy relationship, IMO. Figure we can swing a visit or two a month, it's not too awful of a drive for her. After the preclinical years, I can do clinicals back in my home state, a few minutes from where we live now, so it won't be so bad if we make it through the first two years.

 

[QofQuimica]

All changes are hard. We fear the unknown instinctively, which is why so many of us get trapped into ruts where just about any change would be better than the status quo. The thing is, your current life isn't as stable as it may feel or appear to be. Your girlfriend could meet someone new tomorrow and move on. Your job could lay you off next week and force you to scramble for a new one. At least with this life change, it's you who are choosing your pathway instead of just reacting to what life happens to randomly throw at you.

 

[EMDO2018]

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

Where are you starting med school.

 

[MedPhys2MD]

I think it's all part of the process. Others might have a different experience, but after undergrad I grew apart from a lot of my friends - and just have a couple close ones. I think that happens naturally while your mature and outside relationships develop or you have a family and kids. Kinda happens regardless of it you've pursued medicine.

But medical school also opens a lot of doors for new relationships to foster. I'm more excited than scared and can't wait to get there!

 

[Mad Jack]

Where are you starting med school.

Not totally sure yet. I paid more than one seat deposit, which is a whole 'nother mess. Nearest school is about 2.5 hours from me, so it's not like I'm a world away if I go there I guess. If I've got a slow weekend, I could totally crash on someone's couch and hang out I suppose.

 

[Mad Jack]

I think it's all part of the process. Others might have a different experience, but after undergrad I grew apart from a lot of my friends - and just have a couple close ones. I think that happens naturally while your mature and outside relationships develop or you have a family and kids. Kinda happens regardless of it you've pursued medicine.

But medical school also opens a lot of doors for new relationships to foster. I'm more excited than scared and can't wait to get there!

It's weird, I actually grew closer to all my college friends after college. We're all like, mid to late 20s now, none of us have kids, and we're all waiting for the first marriage domino to fall. You're right though, once everybody starts having kids, your family becomes more of your world. And there are a lot of new people I'll get to meet. I'm still great friends with a lot of my respiratory classmates, actually work with a few of them! We were a total ragtag group of people, completely different in a lot of ways, but we've kind of got this bond for life because we went through hell together. We'd bake cookies and stuff for each other before tests, had birthday parties for other people in the class every time one would come up, were there for each other when good and bad stuff went down. Hopefully med school is kind of like that.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

It isn't just a career change though. I'll be a couple months away from the big 3-0 and basically starting over at life. If I were just switching jobs, no big. But I care a lot about the people I care about, I guess; I've got a really tight group of friends. I guess I'm kind of scared of losing that, as I don't really have a close family and they're kind of the closest thing to family I've got. But looking at @NuttyEngDude's post I guess I'm a bit less worried. It'll work or it won't, and if it didn't it doesn't matter I guess.

Yeah, regardless of age, I think most of us are all a little afraid of making huge changes and losing friends/family, etc. I certainly am.

 

[Quik]

Yep, I can relate... It's a huge sacrifice, and I have no idea how the cards will fall out with the relationships I have, if I'll have to move across the country and miss watching my little niece grow up, or what is held in the cards of my future... It's scary, but exciting, and I don't look at it like starting life over, rather as a new chapter, and it's all living fully. Life doesn't start or end with beginning or finishing med school, or at any other point but birth and death.

 

[Salsa-Hamburgers]

I probably failed today's MCAT.

The Army ships me off next month.

I don't know when I'll ever get a chance to go retake the MCATs, or even finish the two lousy classes I needed to graduate.

I don't even care about being a doctor for the time being - I just want to have something close to a normal life again.

 

[jakeislove]

I kept most of the friends and GF but making time to see everyone while on visits is impossible.

 

[Mad Jack]

I probably failed today's MCAT.

The Army ships me off next month.

I don't know when I'll ever get a chance to go retake the MCATs, or even finish the two lousy classes I needed to graduate.

I don't even care about being a doctor for the time being - I just want to have something close to a normal life again.

Wow, that's rough. I can't believe we're still doing deployments, given the global wind down on the war on terror. They should really prioritize who they send out better- if a guy is two classes away from graduating, deploying him before he completes his degree will severely limit his upward mobility and decrease his satisfaction with his military career. It's bad all around.

You probably didn't do near as bad as you think on the MCAT though, everyone walks out thinking they scored worse than they actually did. Hopefully it turns out better than expected.

Thank you for your service. Good luck out there, and I wish you the best.

 

[LabratABQ]

It scares the crap out of me every single time i think about it. As you said it is a big unknown future. I think we are more afraid of not knowing what exactly that is we are stepping in. We have an idea, of what it is we're attempting to pursue.

Medicine is a calling, like being a priest or a fireman.

Totally agree to this. I told others this and they gave me a blank WTF stare lol

 

[Gfliptastic]

At this point, having already arrived at a future point I want to say I envisioned before I started med school, my "environment" is quite different. Retrospectively, a lot has changed on the "exterior" of my life. I've retained a "core" of my past ante-medical school life, and the fundamental foundation is mostly the same, but a lot HAS changed. And I must say, even in hindsight, I can only offer the idea that your past is dead weight to keep you from where you want to go. You've got to be able to jettison a few things in your life, a few people in your life if you really want to do this. You DO want to be rooted in some of your past. But you don't want to be anchored down or held back by it either.

It is naive, or at very least, idealistic to think that your life will be the same once you start medical school. So it's useful that you recognize/understand that it will be different, should you accomplish what you are setting out to do. Be that as it may, whatever/whomever evolves into "dead weight" in the end is better off left to NOT hold you back. My friends I no longer have (because the "demand" on their friendship was too much to bear during med school), I believe weren't the best people to have in my life. My ex-GF ante-medschool, I suppose, same thing. My former lifestyle, also not what would bring me the happiness of where I am now. I feel it was an extravagant life if I measure it up to what I find pleasing to me now. Med school has a way of reducing you to an "efficient" participant in life. It is a pruning process, and in the end what is left of you will be the best of you - hopefully!

Along that line, was I stoked about my evolution up to now? NO. Some of the changes I resisted. However, the pace and pressure of med school forced me to accept these changes. When I broke up w/ my ex, I had NO TIME to really wallow, or even go for any form of let's say "closure". Is growing apart from friends satisfying? NO. But I had exams!! Hours and hours of material to consolidate into memory. I had Step 1 to focus on. And so forth. You'll know who really cares about you once you are in med school to say the least.

Granted, in the end, do I completely turn away from every single thing or person I am currently w/o in my 4th year of med school - I don't believe that either. I DO miss some of my friends in my previous life. I DO miss some of the things I used to be able to do ante-med school. However, after I am a doctor years from now, if I revisit a friendship, or an aspect of my past life, it will be on different terms. My post-med school terms, as the doctor I am. Not as the person I was ante-med school.

 

[Major]

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

Yeah But this is what makes life fun!

 

[DocWinter]

I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

Mad, I know your thoughts. I'll start med school the week I turn 29. My wife and I are moving 1300 miles from two large and loving families and our networks of friends. I became an uncle, twice over, in the past year and two of my best friends just had their 1st kids. I'm about to leave and miss the next 4+ years.

I could stay, I don't have to do this. No one but me said "I want to be a doctor." I put myself through college and a 2 year postbac to pursue this. I spent 5K on applications and secondaries and deposit. I knew it would cost, and it has. You bring out some very real intangibles in the costs department.
I lost my job(s) 3 times over the past 3.5 years. Someone else hit the reset (department closing) button for me already several times in my life. No fault of my own, just the econony.
The devil you know and the devil you don't are both devils. They are equally frightening when you step back, but we aren't as much afraid of the one we are already comfortable with.

It's a damn serious thing...maybe that's one of the things I like about it so much 🙂

 

[Escape_Goat]

I guess I really don't get this mentality. You aren't throwing everything away that you've built over the past decade. Everything you built over the past decade was a step on your journey towards medical school and being a physician.

/shrug

 

[Chillywilly]

The future is a dark place.
ACA is cutting physician's salaries.
In 40-50,000 years there's going to be another ice age.
The Earth is projected to be hit with a gigantic meteorite/ or a Gamma Radiation Blast millions of years from now.
5billion years, our Solar system will cease to exist.

😉

 

[Mmedran]

@Mad Jack, I totally get what you mean. As someone who is a couple years from 30 and a woman, the uncertainty eats at me!
My SO and I have been together for years and talk marriage and kids, but when?!
Also, career-wise, there's so much changing in healthcare and threads talking about salaries cut despite the 6-figure debt many of us will have... it's just unnerving!
At the end of the day, take solace in knowing that you command your life and you'll work your butt off to make things work -- one way or another.

 

[LabratABQ]

I'm not afraid of change but I'm afraid of being unprepared for it.

 

[lunalight]

Medicine is a calling, like being a priest or a fireman.

This 100%. Goro is the best.

 

[MedWonk]

I didn't really see this as a reset. I see everything I did previously and all my past experiences as things that shaped me and got me to where I am.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

I am accepted in this cycle, but I keep thinking that if I knew then what I know now, I doubt I would have gone down this road. I say this not because I have doubts on medicine but because now I understand how hard it is to be admitted. There are so many sacrifices and requirements to fulfill. But hey, I made it. Your turn to choose if you want to play.

 

[Gfliptastic]

I am accepted in this cycle, but I keep thinking that if I knew then what I know now, I doubt I would have gone down this road. I say this not because I have doubts on medicine but because now I understand how hard it is to be admitted. There are so many sacrifices and requirements to fulfill. But hey, I made it. Your turn to choose if you want to play.

Hmm. Maybe I misread this thread. I wasn't even thinking in terms of the admissions struggle. It IS, no doubt.

I'm so far removed from the process (whoohooo MS4!!) I didn't even think about the s*** I went through just to get in. There are sacrifices. It's not easy. Some sacrifices are substantial. I didn't get in 1st shot either. I had to retake the MCAT. I had to apply a few cycles. Interview. Get rejected. Get waitlisted. Make AAMC rich.

My partly appreciated previous post is based on medical school itself. Read it Albino. And other accepted students. As much of a PITA getting accepted is, it bares only a moderate semblance of what is to come. You ain't seen nothing yet!!

 

[didymus]

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this...Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

This is the first place I'm really making this known (where better than an anonymous forum?): Because of all the apprehensions you processed in your post--along with some of my own personal apprehensions--I am dropping my pursuit of medical school (just as I was preparing to apply this May!).

I turn 30 in two weeks, have a young son, and have been married only a couple years. What I imagined was myself focusing so intently on a medical education for the next 10-11 years (if I were to pursue the speciality in medicine I desired most), that I would very likely sacrifice those things I value the highest to do something with my life that I can't imagine caring much about as I "lay on my death bed" 60 years from now. The question for me was whether I will regret not becoming an MD/DO--not making six-figures, not having clinical autonomy, research opportunities, and so on and so forth--or will I regret having pursued those things at the expense of deeply investing in my son's (and future children's) lives, living adventures with my wife, and so on?

The answer for me was unequivocal. I just don't care enough anymore to be a physician considering the sacrifice required to become one. The training time, and magnitude, is onerous--then when I factor in the uncertainties surrounding the future of the profession, the general public losing respect for docs and gunning for reimbursement cuts and universal coverage (equating to the potential loss of the prestige and lifestyle), the ever increasing administrative burden for physicians (as well as the high burnout among those in the profession), as well as the increasing autonomy and professional benefits of being a midlevel provider, it ceased to be a rational and/or wise career trajectory for me.

I want it to be clear that this was part of the thought-process for myself. It is not a prescription for anyone else, and I think the sacrifices can be much less concerning to many others. I still believe the dedication people must give to training to become doctors is important, and that the bar should not be lowered; it was just not something I was willing to attempt to endure after thinking long and hard about what I may have to give up along the way.

I am now going to pursue a career in a different health profession that has a much shorter training period and debt-accruement (among other things). And, FWIW, I wish you the very best in whatever you choose to do.

 

[QofQuimica]

My partly appreciated previous post is based on medical school itself. Read it Albino. And other accepted students. As much of a PITA getting accepted is, it bares only a moderate semblance of what is to come. You ain't seen nothing yet!!

Neither have you. Helloooooooo, July of intern year.... 😉

All kidding aside, I agree with (and appreciate!) your prior post. But if med school charred some of your relationships, residency will put them through a forge. They'll either be melted down to their core elements, or they'll be incinerated completely.

The answer for me was unequivocal. I just don't care enough anymore to be a physician considering the sacrifice required to become one.

Good on you for being honest enough to know what really matters to you and prioritizing accordingly. Anyone who would criticize you for making that choice is a fool.

 

[didymus]

Good on you for being honest enough to know what really matters to you and prioritizing accordingly. Anyone who would criticize you for making that choice is a fool.

Thanks, Q. I appreciate your words.

 

[Gfliptastic]

Neither have you. Helloooooooo, July of intern year.... 😉

All kidding aside, I agree with (and appreciate!) your prior post. But if med school charred some of your relationships, residency will put them through a forge. They'll either be melted down to their core elements, or they'll be incinerated completely.

HATER. Dislike button!! Don't ruin my cruise-mode. 😛

I'm not even your intern, and I'm getting PIMP'd. No fair.

didymus kudos!! That is a decision I know must have been gut-wrenching and tough. But it's one that I (and maybe some others wizened by med school path) hope more people make.

I can't say I regret my decision, and the fact I've only gained enthusiasm as my time in med school progressed reassures me of this. However, seriously, I don't wish what I went through on anyone who wouldn't be equally cherishing the journey towards being a physician. As opposed to when I got accepted and did NOT begin medical school, I rarely ever cheer for anyone who doesn't seem really dedicated these days. I really want more people to make the tough, yet wise decision you did. Knowing what I know. Having gone through what I've gone through.

WITHOUT the passion for medical practice...as a physician - don't do it!!! The alternatives (mid-level, etc) are out there, acceptable, and comparably rewarding if you don't have an unwavering passion to be a doctor these days.

 

[QofQuimica]

HATER. Dislike button!! Don't ruin my cruise-mode. 😛

I'm not even your intern, and I'm getting PIMP'd. No fair.

That is not pimping. I didn't ask you a single question.

Look on the bright side. As an intern, you'll be working with MS3s and maybe MS4s, and you can pimp them. Just make sure to always pimp up the chain (start with the most junior person first), because it's mega awkward when the junior person shows up the more senior person.

 

[Nasrudin]

For my field, miserably addressed on the whole by a medical curriculum, I won't even have a good pimp hand until I'm in the middle of 2nd year. And keep in mind by pimp hand I mean everyone's a winner here's a soft ball that I want you to get right on your shelf.

People who enjoy pumping too much or before they're ready...are kind of the worst. At life.

 

[gyngyn]

The opportunity to be a physician was the pivotal moment in my life. The chance to serve in my chosen specialty has been the greatest gift. To have been distinguished by my peers and students will be my legacy. I can't imagine a more rewarding life.

 

[Gauss44]

So, I was joking with my girlfriend via text today when it just hit me like a sack of lead bricks dropped from orbit: I am essentially throwing my whole life away to do this. Every single thing I've built over the last decade, every friend I know, every job I've worked, the girl I'm dating, I'm essentially tossing it all out for a big unknown future that may or may not turn out better. I'm not really questioning whether I want to go to medical school- I most certainly want to do that more than anything- but it just hit me how totally batshiat the whole idea of hitting the reset button on my life as my age nearly hits 30 is. Not that I haven't been through some serious life changes before- long relationships ending come to mind as a particularly intense change- but this isn't just losing one particularly important person, it's basically giving up all of them all at once. I know I'll survive, but... Damn, it's a really serious thing when you stop and think about it.

Anyone else kind of left in both terror and awe as they stare down their unknown future?

I don't know you personally. Usually when someone's "afraid" of the future, it means that there's either something negative looming over them, or that they've yet to fully mentally process the situation at hand (a matter of preparedness/unveiling "the unknown" - scary sound effects go here). IMO, it's important to understand what one's doing, why one's doing it, what the consequences it could bring, and how prepared one is. And (it is important IMO) to be willing to accept that reality as your best option or change paths. If medicine is a "calling" for you, then it may be your "best" option without seeming like it to others.

 

[Five0tomed68]

"Fear is a force that sharpens your senses. Being afraid is a state of paralysis in which you can't do anything." - Marcus Luttrell

I think the above quote applies pretty well to the thread. I can't wait to start the trip. Unfortunately, I'm still a ways off. I may start taking some pre pre-req's like pre-calc, but I don't plan on jumping in to deep until my wife is closer to being an attending.

 

[NorthernMav]

I'll be a couple months away from the big 3-0 and basically starting over at life.

Brohem, me too... I turn 30 in May and I am moving away from my family and friends to start medical school this August. It is going to be glorious.

 

[QofQuimica]

For my field, miserably addressed on the whole by a medical curriculum, I won't even have a good pimp hand until I'm in the middle of 2nd year. And keep in mind by pimp hand I mean everyone's a winner here's a soft ball that I want you to get right on your shelf.

People who enjoy pumping too much or before they're ready...are kind of the worst. At life.

Pimping gets a bad rap because of how it's done sometimes. But done right (i.e., to teach and not to put learners in their place or belittle them), it's an effective teaching tool, an example of the Socratic method in action. Med students get spoon-fed the "right answer" to things far too often, especially considering how few real "right answers" we even have in medicine. (Have I ever told you that I think the phrase "medical science" is a bit of an oxymoron?) Good pimping uses the questions to help the learner reason things out for themselves. It pushes them to the edge of their knowledge and then gets them to go one step further. So while yes, the early questions should be "softballs," eventually the session should end with the learners not knowing the answers. And maybe even with me not knowing the answer either, and all of us having to look it up together.

If you only pimp students on things they already know, you're doing them a disservice by not teaching them anything, and in that case, I'd argue that you shouldn't bother with pimping them at all. They can read a shelf review book to study for their shelfs. Your goal as a pimper should be to help your learners make that transition to thinking like a physician. Because as you or anyone else who has ever taken any board or shelf exam knows darn well, there's exams, and then there's practicing actual medicine. The two only overlap in part.

Also, students need to understand that there's no shame in not knowing the answers to the tough questions. Heck, as a senior resident, I don't know everything about my little corner of medicine even with being three months away from graduating and eight months away from taking my specialty boards. It'd be ridiculous to expect a med student to know it all. And again, I'll be the first to agree that anyone who uses pimping to belittle or punish students is a first class d-bag.

 

[Nasrudin]

Pimping gets a bad rap because of how it's done sometimes. But done right (i.e., to teach and not to put learners in their place or belittle them), it's an effective teaching tool, an example of the Socratic method in action. Med students get spoon-fed the "right answer" to things far too often, especially considering how few real "right answers" we even have in medicine. (Have I ever told you that I think the phrase "medical science" is a bit of an oxymoron?) Good pimping uses the questions to help the learner reason things out for themselves. It pushes them to the edge of their knowledge and then gets them to go one step further. So while yes, the early questions should be "softballs," eventually the session should end with the learners not knowing the answers. And maybe even with me not knowing the answer either, and all of us having to look it up together.

If you only pimp students on things they already know, you're doing them a disservice by not teaching them anything, and in that case, I'd argue that you shouldn't bother with pimping them at all. They can read a shelf review book to study for their shelfs. Your goal as a pimper should be to help your learners make that transition to thinking like a physician. Because as you or anyone else who has ever taken any board or shelf exam knows darn well, there's exams, and then there's practicing actual medicine. The two only overlap in part.

Also, students need to understand that there's no shame in not knowing the answers to the tough questions. Heck, as a senior resident, I don't know everything about my little corner of medicine even with being three months away from graduating and eight months away from taking my specialty boards. It'd be ridiculous to expect a med student to know it all. And again, I'll be the first to agree that anyone who uses pimping to belittle or punish students is a first class d-bag.

What you describe sounds like a Tolkein character like Gandalf teaching the hobbits nuggets of wisdom while enveloping them in a introspective exploratory narrative. Can you seriously make the case that medical types are capable of influencing such a dynamic process without it being transformed into a weaponized shaming and hierarchy-reinforcing instrument? Where aggressive dorks compete for seconds of approval from their oversseers who seem to think these games are all powerful make or break assessment tools to separate the dermatolgists from the family medicine people.

As I've seen it. Pimping has the same kill ratio you describe as an open mic spoken word event at your local book store. In practice much more douche and dilettante than deft and effective.

 

[Silent Cool]

At this point, having already arrived at a future point I want to say I envisioned before I started med school, my "environment" is quite different. Retrospectively, a lot has changed on the "exterior" of my life. I've retained a "core" of my past ante-medical school life, and the fundamental foundation is mostly the same, but a lot HAS changed. And I must say, even in hindsight, I can only offer the idea that your past is dead weight to keep you from where you want to go. You've got to be able to jettison a few things in your life, a few people in your life if you really want to do this. You DO want to be rooted in some of your past. But you don't want to be anchored down or held back by it either.

It is naive, or at very least, idealistic to think that your life will be the same once you start medical school. So it's useful that you recognize/understand that it will be different, should you accomplish what you are setting out to do. Be that as it may, whatever/whomever evolves into "dead weight" in the end is better off left to NOT hold you back. My friends I no longer have (because the "demand" on their friendship was too much to bear during med school), I believe weren't the best people to have in my life. My ex-GF ante-medschool, I suppose, same thing. My former lifestyle, also not what would bring me the happiness of where I am now. I feel it was an extravagant life if I measure it up to what I find pleasing to me now. Med school has a way of reducing you to an "efficient" participant in life. It is a pruning process, and in the end what is left of you will be the best of you - hopefully!

Along that line, was I stoked about my evolution up to now? NO. Some of the changes I resisted. However, the pace and pressure of med school forced me to accept these changes. When I broke up w/ my ex, I had NO TIME to really wallow, or even go for any form of let's say "closure". Is growing apart from friends satisfying? NO. But I had exams!! Hours and hours of material to consolidate into memory. I had Step 1 to focus on. And so forth. You'll know who really cares about you once you are in med school to say the least.

Granted, in the end, do I completely turn away from every single thing or person I am currently w/o in my 4th year of med school - I don't believe that either. I DO miss some of my friends in my previous life. I DO miss some of the things I used to be able to do ante-med school. However, after I am a doctor years from now, if I revisit a friendship, or an aspect of my past life, it will be on different terms. My post-med school terms, as the doctor I am. Not as the person I was ante-med school.

Wow. That's deep.

 

[QofQuimica]

What you describe sounds like a Tolkein character like Gandalf teaching the hobbits nuggets of wisdom while enveloping them in a introspective exploratory narrative. Can you seriously make the case that medical types are capable of influencing such a dynamic process without it being transformed into a weaponized shaming and hierarchy-reinforcing instrument? Where aggressive dorks compete for seconds of approval from their oversseers who seem to think these games are all powerful make or break assessment tools to separate the dermatolgists from the family medicine people.

As I've seen it. Pimping has the same kill ratio you describe as an open mic spoken word event at your local book store. In practice much more douche and dilettante than deft and effective.

Yes, they (we) are capable of using pimping as a teaching tool and not a tool for abuse. Whether we choose to do so is another issue. All I can say to you there is, don't be that person. Remember how it feels when you're on the receiving end, and don't do it to other people. But on the other side of the coin, also remember how it feels when you have a teacher who is enthusiastic and wants to teach you. And do try to be that person.

It isn't always easy. I love teaching students and junior residents; in fact, it's the part of medicine that I most enjoy. But I have my stresses and obligations just like they do, and you will soon see for yourself how much students can slow you down. And some students, to be blunt, are real d-bags themselves: arrogant, cocky, suck ups, only out to make themselves look good. That doesn't suddenly change once you become a resident. But like it or not, from now on, teaching and effectively managing junior people you don't like is going to be part of your job. Hopefully you can find a way to do that without lashing out at them.