I'm not a professional, just a student like you going through the application cycle this year.
As I was writing my essays, I felt like I was being more so interrogated than being allowed to tell the truth of my story. I didn't have anyone laying out activities and opportunities for me; they were often hard-earned and many of them were situations where I was at the right place at the right time.
I felt that schools take on a default assumption that you get to have a lot of choice throughout this process. I can understand why they see it that way: you can walk into a soup kitchen and choose to volunteer. But not all activities are a soup kitchen—oftentimes we view the expectations of medical schools (clinical/non-clinical experiences, volunteering, leadership, etc) and just try to meet them in whatever ways are available—often, not even really having the luxury of getting to scrutinize how participating impacts some broader narrative we are expected to have.
So, I think it's normal to face this process and feel like all you can do is shrug and say you did the best you could to meet expectations, even if some of the activities you did weren't necessarily things you were jumping-up-and-down-excited to do. That's just the reality and I wish both students and admissions could acknowledge it.
In fact, to admit you didn't enjoy something is where I realized I could start developing traction in writing my narrative. Sure, there were activities I enjoyed less than others, but the other side of that coin implies there are activities I enjoyed considerably more so.
I started looking back on my time as a student and put the activities I found most meaningful in front of me. Stringing together diary entries, thoughts I'd put together as I considered writing my essays, and even photos taken along the way helped me start to see the ways in which those activities I enjoyed most made me a richer and more interesting person. From there, I was able to see the ways in which even those activities I didn't enjoy as much were similarly in service of making me better, and that mindset shift helped me incorporate those activities in a way that is narrative-aligned and authentic to me.
This kind of introspection isn't easy or something you can reliably execute. It really only comes from spending enormous amounts of time alone, seemingly navel-gazing, and writing and rewriting ad nauseam—with fleeting moments of "oh, it makes sense why I did that!" Sorry, it's just the truth—and a lot of people won't have the patience. Collecting those moments and making them literate to schools is your task.
This expectation isn't limited to T20s, T50s, or T100s. For better or worse, medical schools are asking for self-actualized individuals, and that hidden curriculum certainly places philosophical demands on students that they may have never even attempted to meet before.