Is it weird/common to room with a couple?

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kjj17

kjj17

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Hi everyone, I recently made a thread asking about what it's like living with your SO during med school and got some awesome responses. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...gnificant-other-as-a-medical-student.1123768/

I spoke with my parents and they think that, to save money, I should still consider having other roommates. idk, that just never occurred to me as a possibility lol. So my question is, how common is it to have such a living situation? Like a 3BR where me & SO are in one bedroom, then 2 other roommates (or, a 4BR where we take up 2 rooms - one as bedroom and one as office). We are both mid/early-20s.

Is that weird? Or more common than I'd think? I was on the non-couple side of this arrangement many a time in college lol, but never formally 😛 (when my roommates' bf unofficially moved in)

Thanks for any input!
 
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lol yeah... we are pretty calm and boring tbh, I think we'd be very considerate about all that. just wondering if it would weird people out to even seek roommates that way
 
I live in a 2br with my wife and an old friend of ours. It works great for us, but we also are living with someone we know well and not a stranger which I think is pretty key. And you know it also worked for these guys:

Carla_Turk_and_JD_in_the_apartment.jpeg
 
I really like living in big communal settings. I've had as many as 7-8 people living in my home at one time, counting significant others who stayed over more than 3 nights per week.

As for genders... I've never lived in a single gender situation. I've always had both male and female (and other) roommies, and it has usually been platonic. There were occasional roomies with benefits along the way, but mostly I have fraternal feelings toward my housemates. It would be weird to hook up with them.

I think that medical school will be the first time that I live in a place with just my girlfriend. I'm afraid it will be too quiet. I guess it is all what you are used to.
 
ZuluHotel said:
I live in a 2br with my wife and an old friend of ours. It works great for us, but we also are living with someone we know well and not a stranger which I think is pretty key. And you know it also worked for these guys:

Carla_Turk_and_JD_in_the_apartment.jpeg
Click to expand...

That's because they love each other more than they love anyone else
 
kjj17 said:
Hi everyone, I recently made a thread asking about what it's like living with your SO during med school and got some awesome responses. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...gnificant-other-as-a-medical-student.1123768/

I spoke with my parents and they think that, to save money, I should still consider having other roommates. My question is, how common is it to have such a living situation? I imagine that girls usually like to live with girls and boys with boys, and sometimes some mixed genders, but... a couple? Like a 3BR where me & SO are in one bedroom, then 2 other roommates (or, a 4BR where we take up 2 rooms - one as bedroom and one as office). We are both mid/early-20s.

Is that weird? Or more common than I'd think? I was on the non-couple side of this arrangement many a time in college lol, but never formally 😛 (when my roommates' bf unofficially moved in)

Thanks for any input!
Click to expand...

I lived with a couple in my first year, as well as another single med student (4 of us total) 2 male, 2 female. It was absolutely fine, and not even slightly weird (literally feels no different than living with 3 other single students). As far as mixing of the sexes, after undergrad people start to realize that it can often be a good thing to mix the sexes in a living situation as each gender's undesirable tendencies tend to balance each other out. A large percentage of the students living together in my cohort are in mixed houses. After 7 years of sharing a house with other students in countless different living arrangements I would say that really the #1 most important factor is that everyone in the household operates on the same level of cleanliness, or people are going to start getting pissed off real quick.
 
sidefx said:
really the #1 most important factor is that everyone in the household operates on the same level of cleanliness, or people are going to start getting pissed off real quick.
Click to expand...

Truth!

For a while, we offered free rent to anyone who would just do the dishes and keep the kitchen clean. Someone would take us up on the deal and then realize that they were doing the dishes for 5-6 people. They would either move out or offer to pay rent instead, generally within 2-4 weeks. Dish duty would fall back to me again, until the next victim moved in. We cycled through 4 or 5 roomies on those terms. I don't get it. I would be all over that deal if anyone offered it to me. Free rent / utilities / groceries for less than 1 hour of labor per day? Right on! But, no. No one wants dish duty.
 
Promethean said:
Truth!

For a while, we offered free rent to anyone who would just do the dishes and keep the kitchen clean. Someone would take us up on the deal and then realize that they were doing the dishes for 5-6 people. They would either move out or offer to pay rent instead, generally within 2-4 weeks. Dish duty would fall back to me again, until the next victim moved in. We cycled through 4 or 5 roomies on those terms. I don't get it. I would be all over that deal if anyone offered it to me. Free rent / utilities / groceries for less than 1 hour of labor per day? Right on! But, no. No one wants dish duty.
Click to expand...

I guess people actually washing their own dishes is a pretty bewildering concept? 😛
 
kjj17 said:
Hi everyone, I recently made a thread asking about what it's like living with your SO during med school and got some awesome responses. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...gnificant-other-as-a-medical-student.1123768/

I spoke with my parents and they think that, to save money, I should still consider having other roommates. My question is, how common is it to have such a living situation? I imagine that girls usually like to live with girls and boys with boys, and sometimes some mixed genders, but... a couple? Like a 3BR where me & SO are in one bedroom, then 2 other roommates (or, a 4BR where we take up 2 rooms - one as bedroom and one as office). We are both mid/early-20s.

Is that weird? Or more common than I'd think? I was on the non-couple side of this arrangement many a time in college lol, but never formally 😛 (when my roommates' bf unofficially moved in)

Thanks for any input!
Click to expand...

Hi! So I lived with my boyfriend and a roommate in our third year of medical school. It was the best, most cost-effective option for all of us and I believe my singleton roommate got through it relatively unscathed. This really depends on your adaptability and level of patience. Good luck, OP!
 
sidefx said:
I guess people actually washing their own dishes is a pretty bewildering concept? 😛
Click to expand...

Yeah, that doesn't happen. There are always mystery dishes, which everyone will claim not to know the origins of. It is easiest to have one person be accountable. That actually makes the chore get done.
 
My husband and I used to rent out the extra room in our condo during med school. Not sure if it is common but it worked out nicely. It did end up being more of it being our place and the roommates would keep to themselves in their room (we rented out the bigger room so they had space to have a desk and sitting area) because we weren't that interested in being social. In residency one of my husband's friends lived with us for a while and that was more of a social thing. I guess as long as you are up front for how you want it to be it should be fine.
 
I currently live with my husband and another couple. It was a little hard finding roommates at first. I think people are a little wary about it and would prefer to live with just individuals in general, but once you find the right person It's great. We pay a fraction of what we would.

Like other have said, I would agree that it's just up to your level of comfort. I've lived with lots of combos of people in my day and I'm pretty laid back about things. It builds tolerance and character in my opinion haha. If you don't like those things, then maybe it's not for you! If you are considering it, then it'll probably be fine. One thing I would recommend, though, is to make sure you have enough space. Personally I can live in a shoebox, but other people I've lived with (ie. my husband) have complained about the space issue.
 
wait, are you suggesting to not room with other med students...?
 
I have a similar question - my boyfriend and I will be living with a roommate in a 2 bedroom 2 bathrooms 1000 sq ft. apartment that costs $1800 a month

How should we split rent? I dont think it should be split down the middle 3 ways since my boyfriend and I will be sharing a space anyways. I was thinking atleast $1050 between my Bf and I and $750 for our roommate who will still have her own space, own bathroom, etc. It still saves her $150 from splitting it with only me.

For those of you who have done this what do you think? should it be split evenly 3 ways? also is 1000sq ft a lrge enough space for 3 ppl. the apartment looks large but Idk how it will be once we move in
 
I definitely agree not 50:50, that doesn't make sense. 60:40 I think
 
miszfifi820 said:
I have a similar question - my boyfriend and I will be living with a roommate in a 2 bedroom 2 bathrooms 1000 sq ft. apartment that costs $1800 a month

How should we split rent? I dont think it should be split down the middle 3 ways since my boyfriend and I will be sharing a space anyways. I was thinking atleast $1050 between my Bf and I and $750 for our roommate who will still have her own space, own bathroom, etc. It still saves her $150 from splitting it with only me.

For those of you who have done this what do you think? should it be split evenly 3 ways? also is 1000sq ft a lrge enough space for 3 ppl. the apartment looks large but Idk how it will be once we move in
Click to expand...
i think splitting the utilities 3 ways and the rent based on room size is reasonable (so if your room is bigger then it sounds good, if both are the same size you are being nice to the roommate unless you plan on comandeering the common space like we did back when we had roommates). The condo we shared was just under 1000 sq ft and it seemed fine space wise. We didn't have a lot of people over though so didn't need a ton of space.

Something i never thought of but is playing out right now with my tenants is what happens if you and your SO fight. You can't just change the locks one day if he won't move out and if you are both on the lease you are both responsible and entitled to stay there so you can't ask the landlord to settle it for you. Might be good to have a plan.
 
dpmd said:
i think splitting the utilities 3 ways and the rent based on room size is reasonable (so if your room is bigger then it sounds good, if both are the same size you are being nice to the roommate unless you plan on comandeering the common space like we did back when we had roommates). The condo we shared was just under 1000 sq ft and it seemed fine space wise. We didn't have a lot of people over though so didn't need a ton of space.

Something i never thought of but is playing out right now with my tenants is what happens if you and your SO fight. You can't just change the locks one day if he won't move out and if you are both on the lease you are both responsible and entitled to stay there so you can't ask the landlord to settle it for you. Might be good to have a plan.
Click to expand...
thank you for your input. We are definitely having a back up plan if we break up.

JP2740 said:
This idea is just so ****ing stupid
Click to expand...

how is it a stupid idea? It is like having a roommate that always has their bf/gf over all the time anyways. I think its actually better because u come into the housing agreement knowing what you are getting into, unlike the roommate that checks off 'rarely' on whether or not they will have many guests over on the housing survey but unofficially moves in their mooching bf that lies around the apartment all day contributing to the dishes but not contributing to rent.
 
sidefx said:
I guess people actually washing their own dishes is a pretty bewildering concept? 😛
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's weird. What does your chef do between meals???
 
Besides, what else are you going to do with the extra bedroom? Might as well reduce your rent (or in my case it was helping me reduce my mortgage payment). Although I was engaged to my guy at the time. I can see it being potentially stupid if you and your SO should not be living together but that isn't really going to be affected by having a roommate or not.
 
JP2740 said:
This idea is just so ****ing stupid
Click to expand...
um, kinda rude... like what @miszfifi820 said, this becomes a de facto rooming situation in many cases anyway, but this is just being more upfront about it. my original question is more to hear people's experiences, but it certainly isn't a stupid idea
 
kjj17 said:
um, kinda rude... like what @miszfifi820 said, this becomes a de facto rooming situation in many cases anyway, but this is just being more upfront about it. my original question is more to hear people's experiences, but it certainly isn't a stupid idea
Click to expand...
Yes it is
 
Promethean said:
Yeah, that doesn't happen. There are always mystery dishes, which everyone will claim not to know the origins of. It is easiest to have one person be accountable. That actually makes the chore get done.
Click to expand...
I know someone who set up a nanny cam to solve this mystery. That's another way to do it I guess.
 
Kahreek said:
focking anarchy, are we communist or waht. Everyone gets their own dishes done, or there will be blood.
Click to expand...

Hahaha!

Well, yes, we are kind of communist in my house, though we refer to it as the "Small Animal Kingdom." Like all communist states, it quickly devolved into a dictatorship, with me as Great Leader since I hold the purse strings. Being able to supply bread and circuses (pizza and xbox, really), as well as keeping the state services in order (utilities, mortgage payments, groceries) means holding the reins in my iron grip.

...but as a benign dictator, I often give in and sacrifice to the will of the people by doing the damnable dishes. It is good to be seen to be humble. Makes for charming photo-ops to counter the claims of detractors that I've gone power mad. (Maniacal laughter!)
 
miszfifi820 said:
I have a similar question - my boyfriend and I will be living with a roommate in a 2 bedroom 2 bathrooms 1000 sq ft. apartment that costs $1800 a month

How should we split rent? I dont think it should be split down the middle 3 ways since my boyfriend and I will be sharing a space anyways. I was thinking atleast $1050 between my Bf and I and $750 for our roommate who will still have her own space, own bathroom, etc. It still saves her $150 from splitting it with only me.

For those of you who have done this what do you think? should it be split evenly 3 ways? also is 1000sq ft a lrge enough space for 3 ppl. the apartment looks large but Idk how it will be once we move in
Click to expand...

So, a 1050:750 split is fair... if she gets to keep a 750 rent in the event that your boyfriend moves out, or if the split goes to 50:50 if she gets a live-in. You should plan ahead for those kinds of contingencies, since having them happen out of the blue can cause all manner of conflict.

You and your boyfriend are sharing space, but this split has you each paying $525 effectively, while the roommate is paying $225 more. That isn't unfair, since she does get space to herself, but I think it should buy the security of knowing that the rate won't shoot up if your relationship gets rocky. She shouldn't need to worry about your relationship stability affecting her budget.

And utilities, if you have to pay extra for them, really should be split 3 ways, to be most fair.

In the end, whatever you all negotiate and agree to is a fair deal. Get it in writing up front. Think about how it could go wrong and what will happen, and put that in writing, too. I joke about my little communist kingdom, but it only works at all because the terms of living here are very clear and understood by all.
 
I'd never want to live with a couple. Too many noises while you're trying to study 😉
 
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