Just Trying Dog Mom
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- Dec 11, 2023
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I am currently a first year NICU fellow, and I'm struggling to decide if it is worth it to finish fellowship. I have always liked NICU the best since my rotations in medical school medical school, and my career goal has always been to go back to my small population home state to be an attending at one of the level III NICUs. I have been told by several attendings in my home state that I should do a few years as an attending at bigger institutions to build confidence as a staff before coming home.
Fellowship is going fine. I'm getting procedures done and seeing the bread and butter of neonatology. I am meeting expectations and there is nothing chasing me out of fellowship. I enjoy the content of neonatology and reading/thinking about the physiology. I am not a big fan of academic research, but I feel satisfied with my fellowship research project. During residency NICU was always my favorite place. I didn't love gen peds clinic, but I know I did a good job and would be a fine pediatrician. It seems like a doable job. I passed my peds boards first time, so that will not be a barrier.
I'm just wondering if this is all worth it time-wise with 2.5 years of fellowship left and likely 2-3 years elsewhere before I could really come home to be an effective neonatologist. I want to go home so badly and be able to spend quality time with my partner, family, dogs, and play in the snowy mountains (currently in a place with non-snowy hills only). I feel so sad thinking going home is still so long from now.
I'm just really struggling with how to prioritize the quality of life I want vs sticking it out 5-6 more years before living where I want to be. I think I have optimized things the best that I can here to spend as much time with my partner, pets, and hobbies as possible, but I can't shake the sense that I'm still waiting for my life to start when I get to move home.
I know no one can tell me what to do, but I'm just wondering what anyone else's experience has been like when weighing quality vs career. It's just so hard.
Thanks in advance.
Fellowship is going fine. I'm getting procedures done and seeing the bread and butter of neonatology. I am meeting expectations and there is nothing chasing me out of fellowship. I enjoy the content of neonatology and reading/thinking about the physiology. I am not a big fan of academic research, but I feel satisfied with my fellowship research project. During residency NICU was always my favorite place. I didn't love gen peds clinic, but I know I did a good job and would be a fine pediatrician. It seems like a doable job. I passed my peds boards first time, so that will not be a barrier.
I'm just wondering if this is all worth it time-wise with 2.5 years of fellowship left and likely 2-3 years elsewhere before I could really come home to be an effective neonatologist. I want to go home so badly and be able to spend quality time with my partner, family, dogs, and play in the snowy mountains (currently in a place with non-snowy hills only). I feel so sad thinking going home is still so long from now.
I'm just really struggling with how to prioritize the quality of life I want vs sticking it out 5-6 more years before living where I want to be. I think I have optimized things the best that I can here to spend as much time with my partner, pets, and hobbies as possible, but I can't shake the sense that I'm still waiting for my life to start when I get to move home.
I know no one can tell me what to do, but I'm just wondering what anyone else's experience has been like when weighing quality vs career. It's just so hard.
Thanks in advance.