Judging a physician in my personal statement?

[syndromeofad]

I just started brainstorming topics for my personal statement. I saw this comment by an adcom on Reddit:

-Trashing or judging a physician's actions that they witnessed during their activities/shadowing (this is the most common instant red-flag that I've seen on personal statements. It's one of the few things that can put your app straight in the garbage bin. If you are going to comment on something a physician did, it should ALWAYS be positive).

My goal isn't to judge the physician but tell a story about myself and the patient. It just so happens that one of my favorite stories from my time as a scribe involves a physician in an unfavorable light. Naturally, there's implied, incidental judgement of the physician. I wrote out a paragraph to see how it sounds:

Spoiler: Example paragraph

As a scribe, most of my impact was indirect. I saved time for the doctors to do what they do best. A moment when I directly improved care, and one that sticks out to me, is when there was a 13-year-old girl with a developmental disability, daily seizures at baseline, and a history of stroke and sepsis. She developed fever and worsened seizures. She was brought from her long-term care facility to an outside ED and then to our pediatric ED. Regarding the patient, the doctor said, “that’s no way to live,” as if her life with disability is less than. The doctor was critical of the outside ED for not ordering a blood culture and said, “it’s too bad we have to stick her again”, placing the order. I thought about the patient’s perspective: non-verbal, no guardian with me, and able to feel discomfort. I looked out for her. I carefully reviewed her chart and noted that she did in fact have a blood culture pending from the outside hospital, although it hadn’t loaded into the results page yet. As the nurse was preparing the blood draw, I informed her that a culture was already pending, and the order was eventually canceled. I was able to prevent needless pain because the patient mattered to me, and since my actions benefited her however so slight, I felt that I mattered too.

Is something like that appropriate for a personal statement? Thank you.

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[amateurbater]

As a rule of thumb, don’t ever act like you know more than/disparage a physician. They’re really adverse to people who act like “god’s gift to medicine,” which I don’t think you’re doing here, but steer clear from any form of negativity and really amp up all humility. Take it from me: I was basically rejected from all medical schools last year after interview for sounding cocky. And as a rule of thumb for writing secondaries/essays, include more reflection on how it affected you. It’s not about you improving care. It’s about what you learned about care as a whole.

 

[syndromeofad]

As a rule of thumb, don’t ever act like you know more than/disparage a physician. They’re really adverse to people who act like “god’s gift to medicine,” which I don’t think you’re doing here, but steer clear from any form of negativity and really amp up all humility. Take it from me: I was basically rejected from all medical schools last year after interview for sounding cocky. And as a rule of thumb for writing secondaries/essays, include more reflection on how it affected you. It’s not about you improving care. It’s about what you learned about care as a whole.

Thank you! That's great advice. Your last line is really thought provoking.

 

[amateurbater]

Thank you! That's great advice. Your last line is really thought provoking.

Anything I can to pass on wisdom man. I make mistakes so others don’t have to lol.

 

[atriablack]

Reading your sample paragraph, there are ways to re-write this to make it centered on yourself and your experience with the patient without needing to disparage the physician. Right now you are trying to join the medical field, you are not in the position to be passing judgment on the people you are looking to learn from. It reflects baldy upon you. You can of course be noting down the good and bad and save that for reference once you are part of the field and can enact change.

I was able to prevent needless pain because the patient mattered to me, and since my actions benefited her however so slight, I felt that I mattered too.

Here you imply the patent didn't matter to the doctor; a pretty awful take on the professionalism of the physician you are working under. I would question why you continue to work in this establishment and how could this physician inspire you to join their profession if they are so callous.
I'm not saying that your perspective isn't true (we all know bad doctors), but the point of the personal statement is a convincing rendition of not only what inspires you into the profession but also why you want to join the medical field (you can't center you story on entirely reforming the system)

 

[wysdoc]

I just started brainstorming topics for my personal statement. I saw this comment by an adcom on Reddit:

My goal isn't to judge the physician but tell a story about myself and the patient. It just so happens that one of my favorite stories from my time as a scribe involves a physician in an unfavorable light. Naturally, there's implied, incidental judgement of the physician. I wrote out a paragraph to see how it sounds:


Is something like that appropriate for a personal statement? Thank you.

I suggest you write about something else. I would have taken the physician's comments as empathy for the patient, though I wasn't there and of course couldn't hear the tone /circumstance. A scribe countermanding a medical order is also inappropriate in your role.

 

[FlowRate]

Reading your sample paragraph, there are ways to re-write this to make it centered on yourself and your experience with the patient without needing to disparage the physician.

This. None of the detail about the physician is really relevant and DOES come off as critical of the person they were working under/for as a scribe.

OP, you could just talk about putting in extra effort to review outside records to save the patient a stick, without implying the doc was callous/lazy/rushed/ignorant.

 

[karaya]

Why did you tell the nurse and not the doc for whom you were scribing? I mean, aren't scribes and docs attached at the hip? But either way, it's not a good look...

 

[syndromeofad]

I suggest you write about something else. I would have taken the physician's comments as empathy for the patient, though I wasn't there and of course couldn't hear the tone /circumstance. A scribe countermanding a medical order is also inappropriate in your role.

Thank you for the feedback. The doctor also implied that it would be best if the patient's life was taken by an infection. I didn't mention that in my paragraph though, as the goal wasn't to trash the doctor. I didn't countermand the order. I didn't tell the nurse to stop, and of course I didn't actually cancel the order. I informed the nurse about the pending result from the previous hospital. I wouldn't tell a nurse what to do. And yes, when the doctor came back to the station with her coffee, I informed the doctor about the pending culture as well as a recent brain MRI. The doctor thanked me and canceled the orders for both the culture and brain MRI.

 

[syndromeofad]

Why did you tell the nurse and not the doc for whom you were scribing? I mean, aren't scribes and docs attached at the hip? But either way, it's not a good look...

Thanks for the feedback. The doctor left to get coffee. I stayed at the computer to chart review and prepare for patients in the waiting room. I informed the other member of the care team, the nurse about to poke the patient, and when the doctor returned, I informed the doctor.

 

[syndromeofad]

Reading your sample paragraph, there are ways to re-write this to make it centered on yourself and your experience with the patient without needing to disparage the physician. Right now you are trying to join the medical field, you are not in the position to be passing judgment on the people you are looking to learn from. It reflects baldy upon you. You can of course be noting down the good and bad and save that for reference once you are part of the field and can enact change.

Here you imply the patent didn't matter to the doctor; a pretty awful take on the professionalism of the physician you are working under. I would question why you continue to work in this establishment and how could this physician inspire you to join their profession if they are so callous.
I'm not saying that your perspective isn't true (we all know bad doctors), but the point of the personal statement is a convincing rendition of not only what inspires you into the profession but also why you want to join the medical field (you can't center you story on entirely reforming the system)

Thank you very much for the feedback. I'll definitively rewrite this. Noting the good and bad, that's making judgement, but I get what you're saying, I can avoid expressing that judgement and focus more on me and the patient. Yea, it was unprofessional of the physician. Should I have put in my two weeks then and there? There are many physicians at the hospital, and people make mistakes. I can't reform the system, but I can focus on the patient, which is what I hoped to convey in the story and something I'll try to make more clear with edits.

 

[Goro]

Thank you very much for the feedback. I'll definitively rewrite this. Noting the good and bad, that's making judgement, but I get what you're saying, I can avoid expressing that judgement and focus more on me and the patient. Yea, it was unprofessional of the physician. Should I have put in my two weeks then and there? There are many physicians at the hospital, and people make mistakes. I can't reform the system, but I can focus on the patient, which is what I hoped to convey in the story and something I'll try to make more clear with edits.

Also better to focus on doctors who you view as role models

 

[syndromeofad]

Also better to focus on doctors who you view as role models

Thank you for the prompt!

I'll write about a community clinic doc...

Spoiler

A community clinic doc who tells every patient he's so happy to see them, and says I love you to the patients who have loved him for years. The deep value he holds for his patients motivates him to show up at 5:30 in the morning when security opens the facility, so he can review the patient's charts and plan the day. This prep work allows him more time to build relationships during the limited visits we have, and the relationships he has with patients sustain him through his long career. He's nearly 80 years old, yet his energy for medicine caused me physical difficulty keeping up with him as he paced through the clinic.

This doctor is my role model, and I'm judging him, positively.

 

[atriablack]

Thank you for the prompt!

I'll write about a community clinic doc...

Spoiler

A community clinic doc who tells every patient he's so happy to see them, and says I love you to the patients who have loved him for years. The deep value he holds for his patients motivates him to show up at 5:30 in the morning when security opens the facility, so he can review the patient's charts and plan the day. This prep work allows him more time to build relationships during the limited visits we have, and the relationships he has with patients sustain him through his long career. He's nearly 80 years old, yet his energy for medicine caused me physical difficulty keeping up with him as he paced through the clinic.

This doctor is my role model, and I'm judging him, positively.

Positive role models are great, make sure the focus of your essay is you though. Sometimes we get caught up in the description of people we admire or look up to and end up writing an essay about what make them amazing (great, the committee should admit them then). The way to flip it back to you is noting what experiences and observations impacted you and how it inspired you (why do you value relationship building? what kind of doctor is this pushing you to be?)

 

[syndromeofad]

Positive role models are great, make sure the focus of your essay is you though. Sometimes we get caught up in the description of people we admire or look up to and end up writing an essay about what make them amazing (great, the committee should admit them then). The way to flip it back to you is noting what experiences and observations impacted you and how it inspired you (why do you value relationship building? what kind of doctor is this pushing you to be?)

Thank you!

 

[candbgirl]

I suggest you write about something else. I would have taken the physician's comments as empathy for the patient, though I wasn't there and of course couldn't hear the tone /circumstance. A scribe countermanding a medical order is also inappropriate in your role.

Thank you for pointing this one out in particular. I wondered how that happened too. What was the nurse thinking to go along with it.
OP, please be careful when writing your PS or anything really. What you write is what they read. No chance for you to explain. I know several docs who would be put off by your statements because what makes you know more than a doc(or nurse for that matter). You are a scribe. Period. You have no say in the treatment plan, you probably don’t know what the doc has in mind. Just stay in your lane and observe.

 

[syndromeofad]

Thank you for pointing this one out in particular. I wondered how that happened too. What was the nurse thinking to go along with it.
OP, please be careful when writing your PS or anything really. What you write is what they read. No chance for you to explain. I know several docs who would be put off by your statements because what makes you know more than a doc(or nurse for that matter). You are a scribe. Period. You have no say in the treatment plan, you probably don’t know what the doc has in mind. Just stay in your lane and observe.

I was a scribe. It wasn't about knowing better than anyone. It was about the patient. As I tried to convey in the example paragraph, the doctor told me they're ordering a blood culture because the outside hospital failed to, but in actuality the result was pending. I'm not going to sit back and watch a mistake unfold.

I appreciated that part of wysdoc's feedback too. It made me think about how my writing can be differently interpreted due to my lack of clarity and perhaps bias outside of my control. I'll try to make clear the important distinction that I didn't countermand an order. I found something in the chart and told the team.

Maybe even with clarity on my end, it won't be best to use this story. While it shows my patient-centeredness and attention to detail, there are other stories I can use. I guess it's about less about the specific story and more about how I write about it. Thank you very much for your advice. I'll be careful and keep writing until June.