Just messed up with a major reference-- what should I do-- Pls Help

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
D

dyang

Member
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
20+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2001
Messages
29
Reaction score
0
Members don't see this ad.
I just messed up with one of my major references. My application and his recommendation have been sent out to schools.

What should I do? Please help!!
The best thing he can be expected to do for me now, according to him, is "just verify you worked here." That's it. I worked for him over a year...
Should I cancel my application and wait till next year while trying to start a new research job? Or should I take a chance to continue with this year's application.

I am so sorry for bother you guys, but I am really pulling my hair!
It happened so sudden and out of nowhere. I was caught totally unexpected. He just sent in recommendatin letter about three weeks ago. 😕 😳
 
Originally posted by dyang
I just messed up with one of my major references. My application and his recommendation have been sent out to schools.

What should I do? Please help!!
The best thing he can be expected to do for me now, according to him, is "just verify you worked here." That's it. I worked for him over a year...
Should I cancel my application and wait till next year while trying to start a new research job? Or should I take a chance to continue with this year's application.

I am so sorry for bother you guys, but I am really pulling my hair!
It happened so sudden and out of nowhere. I was caught totally unexpected. He just sent in recommendatin letter about three weeks ago. 😕 😳
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how often they actually contact people that have written letters of recommendation. I don't think it is very often, so you may be okay, since his letter is already written and sent. (He sin't going to rescind it or anything, right?)

What happened with this guy?
 
See if the schools will let you have an extra LOR. If so, pick someone who will give you a glowing letter with specifics on why you'd be a good MS candidate.

Actually...just go ahead and have another person write the extra LOR and send it to the schools. The schools will probably just add it to your file without noticing that it is an extra one.
 
Are you stats good?

If so, why would you want to "cancel" your application and reapply next year? I doubt med schools actually call to check your references. Considering how many applications they get, they would be too busy to call.
 
Thank you for all your help.
Although there was something beyond my control, I am still blaming myself. I should have done many things to avoid it (even though I am not sure they could have helped)
My stats and other references are OK.
I am very worried about this. I could not afford taking chances. When being contacted. his attitude will kill everything by just saying "yes. he worked in the lab" and nothing else.
It may help me to get another solid reference?
Oh, my God. It is my nightmare and puts my in hell after working hard so many years!
 
I really wouldn't worry about it....you messed things up with him after he wrote
you a letter right? Well, as long as you think he wrote a decent letter that's all that matters. Med schools very rarely contact your references,as some one else said. I applied to 30 schools last year and not one called m9ine to verify anything. If you think he may have also written you a poor letter, then I would add some extra letters, but I don't think you should pull your application and wait another year because of this. As long as the majority of your recs are positive you should be fine.
 
Anyone else dying to know what happened? I feel this is probably a molehill, but it could be a mountain. --Trek
 
PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!
 
Sorry, guys. I really cannot tell what happened here. He might be watching. I don't want to get things worse.
Please understand I am struggling with this nightmare and I am still praying he might be easy on me considering that "I have worked very hard for him" and that all my effort I put in the past few years.
Appreciated your help.
 
you're killin' us😉

did he like you three weeks ago when he wrote it? if so - forget it and continue. man your pi could be surfing sdn - hardcore. anyway hope things go alright, i'd say keep at it. the only place i've heard of calling about recs is harvard hst (someone said that in one of these threads). push on - goodluck.
-jot
 
Originally posted by dyang
Sorry, guys. I really cannot tell what happened here. He might be watching. I don't want to get things worse.
Please understand I am struggling with this nightmare and I am still praying he might be easy on me considering that "I have worked very hard for him" and that all my effort I put in the past few years.
Appreciated your help.
Click to expand...

you can PM the people that want to know, and he/she would not be able to read that. Then we could offer better advice.
 
Originally posted by Diogenes


you can PM the people that want to know, and he/she would not be able to read that. Then we could offer better advice.
Click to expand...

Please add my name to the list of those with inquiring minds.
 
3
 
420. --Trek
 
Me 4
 
I think you're okay. In my experience, there's way too much to do to verify references at least in the early stages of the application process. The issue might come up after you've been interviewed, and especially if there is some question about your experience. There's also the potential for the PI to be contacted if someone at the school knows him. Otherwise, it just won't happen.

You might want to think about how to spin this in an interview, though. What did you learn from this? What would you do differently next time? If any questions do come up, you want to be prepared.

Good luck!!!
 
He could PM people that wanted to know. . ., but if the infamous angry rec author really was reading SDN looking to sabotage his employees there would be no way of knowing who he is. Any of us could be the person he is afraid of further offending.
 
Originally posted by GuitarMan
He could PM people that wanted to know. . ., but if the infamous angry rec author really was reading SDN looking to sabotage his employees there would be no way of knowing who he is. Any of us could be the person he is afraid of further offending.
Click to expand...
Dude, you are not helping.😡 😡 😡

We are trying to offer a way of giving him better, more specific advice. Don't sabotage it.
 
Originally posted by Diogenes

Dude, you are not helping.😡 😡 😡

We are trying to offer a way of giving him better, more specific advice. Don't sabotage it.
Click to expand...

LOL....yeah.

Knish,

The damage is done...the only way to get all this behind you is to reveal his(the lab guy) identity and what he did to you/or what you did to him. Don't be scared of him.....put him on blast(don't forget to include me in the PM) and make him scared of YOU.
 
Originally posted by Diogenes

We are trying to offer a way of giving him better, more specific advice.
Click to expand...

No you're not. You're just hoping to hear a dicey story. Try watching Springer.😉
 
Originally posted by GuitarMan


No you're not. You're just hoping to hear a dicey story. Try watching Springer.😉
Click to expand...

I'm shocked!🙄

Seriously though, for the most part everything should turn out okay, since the schools rarely check references, but I don't know how Canadian schools work.
 
I wanna know.
 
Let's not push a stressed-out person over the edge. But on the other hand, we need more info to offer advice.

1. Did the person write you a letter already before you messed up the relationship between you two (or he messed it up, but that does not matter...the bottomline is that he does not like you)?

2. If the answer to question 1 is yes, then I doubt that the school will bother calling him up and verify ANYTHING (except if the school is UBC med). And since he sent the letter already before the relationship gone sour, I doubt the letter would have been THAT bad.

3. Even if the answer to question 1 is yes, you should still consider sending an extra letter of recommendation. But check that with individual med schools. Some med schools do NOT want to see more paper work and more LOR's than necessary. They hate it. Others have no problem with it. I know that Canadian undergrads don't have premed committee to write you a composite letter so you have to send individual letters off yourself anyway. An extra letter should not kill you financially.

4. If you answer to question 1 is no (i.e. you messed it up beforehand, and he most likely wrote you a bad letter) or he is the type who would call up school and bad-mouth you, then write schools individually to explain the situation as truthfully as you can and definitely add an extra LOR. Always write schools because letters are official while phone calls are not.

5. Any other info you can divulge?

Good luck! Either way, as you can read above, I suggest that you go ahead with your applications. One year of your time is too valuable to pass by because of a single recommender.

Plus, why withdraw now???!!! You already paid for application fees (that's why the med schools are collecting your recommendation letters, right?) and if his letters are really that bad, you won't get interviews anyway; and that way, you are not wasting any more money. And if his letter is ok or good enough, then you will get the interviews you deserve and go ahead and travel there to impression the admissions committees. Med schools have too many applications to sieve through (thousands of them). They are not going to keep your LOR's from the previous year if you are applying again NEXT year. So don't worry about getting the current LOR's go out.

Hope this helps.
 
The other thing is, it'll be months before the interview stage, and even if they DO call references after that point, your boss will have had several months to calm down and realize that you HAVE in fact, worked hard for him and it was an isolated event that you probably couldn't entirely control.
 
dyang,

IMO, you have little to be worried about. Chances are very slim your PI will be contacted. Plus, if what you say is true, ("something beyond my control, I should have done many things to avoid it even though I am not sure they could have helped") then you should be able to explain yourself truthfully without too much harm... that is, unless you did something EVIL!!! TELL US WHAT YOU DID!!!
😡
 
i want to know too!!!
 
ok,
if there indeed is a juicy story, I'd like to hear too. I just hope this guy was not caught doing stuff on SDN while he was at work....it could show he is unethical with his "work hours" etc. I don't know, just speculating.

Hope things work out for you. Good luck.

Tweetie
 
If you're talking about Ontario schools, they probably won't bother checking. Everyone has at least decent letters, so the schools don't care much about them unless they're extremely good, or only mediocre (or worse). If you were talking about American schools but also plan on applying to Ontario schools later on (deadline is October 15th), then obviously DON'T use this guy as one of your 3 referees.

And of course, if you're not comfortable telling people here about the exact details, then don't. You don't know us, and we don't know you, so it's really not any of our business.
 
This dude is worse than a prick-tease.
 
Originally posted by Diogenes
This dude is worse than a prick-tease.
Click to expand...
Nothing is worse than a prick-tease Dio. Nothing at all. 😉

Oh, and make me member #421 wanting to know what the hell went down.
 
i want to know, too! 🙂
 
Just my .02, but here is what I think happened. He has been working on computational nueroscience the past 2 years. Last week, his boss left for the night, only to realize he forgot his glasses in his office. He walks in, and discovers dyang downloading midgit porn. He looks on the hard drive, and finds out that 80% of the hard drives is being taken up by the midget porn and dyang has been running a midget pornsite from the lab for the last 1.5 years instead of working. To make matters worse, the PI recognizes his wife from one of the pictures.

Ok, that's my theory.
 
Originally posted by Jalby
Just my .02, but here is what I think happened. He has been working on computational nueroscience the past 2 years. Last week, his boss left for the night, only to realize he forgot his glasses in his office. He walks in, and discovers dyang downloading midgit porn. He looks on the hard drive, and finds out that 80% of the hard drives is being taken up by the midget porn and dyang has been running a midget pornsite from the lab for the last 1.5 years instead of working. To make matters worse, the PI recognizes his wife from one of the pictures.

Ok, that's my theory.
Click to expand...

That damned midgit porn, always causin troubles.
 
I does happen. U Mich called one of my references this year. Thought you ought to know.
 
This thread needs an update! Anyone ever find out what the poor guy did? And what happened to him?
 
One last thing to consider, even if one school happens to call this one recommender, it's just one school out of many you'll be applying to. You will be absolutely fine. In a few years you'll look back at this and won't believe how worried you were for nothing. You will be fine, and your chances as an applicant are not compromised. Please don't worry about this. It's not a big deal.
 
I want to know!
 
ME 2!!! The suspense from your cryptic first post is killing me!
+pissed+
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
  • Question Question
Question about Institutional Action - I really messed up
Replies
17
Views
3K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
F
What should I do about delayed committee letter packets?
Replies
3
Views
181
eigen
eigen
LMAGZ
LORs Not Uploaded Yet – Should I Follow Up?
Replies
2
Views
211
eigen
eigen
MasterOogway
What do I do?
Replies
9
Views
1K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
D
  • Locked
What if I'm just a normal dude?
Replies
37
Views
3K
GoSpursGo
GoSpursGo
Top