just started first MSTP rotation

[INTJish]

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I just graduated this from spring, and now I'm two weeks into my first MSTP rotation. I was SO excited to start, but now by the second week I am already completely overwhelmed. I can't focus, the experiments I've started I've already messed up, and really had a rough time during my first big presentation at the lab meeting in front of the lab and my PI (talked way too fast and got my facts confused, felt so dumb after).

I think it's from the pressure I am putting on myself. I'm in a very good lab (my current PI collaborates with my undergrad PI and I like him so much). Everyone is incredibly nice and supportive, I just feel so stupid, and feel like I'm not doing much to prove I'm not stupid....

Has anyone else been through this or have any advice? Thanks in advance!

 

[QofQuimica]

I just graduated this from spring, and now I'm two weeks into my first MSTP rotation. I was SO excited to start, but now by the second week I am already completely overwhelmed. I can't focus, the experiments I've started I've already messed up, and really had a rough time during my first big presentation at the lab meeting in front of the lab and my PI (talked way too fast and got my facts confused, felt so dumb after).

I think it's from the pressure I am putting on myself. I'm in a very good lab (my current PI collaborates with my undergrad PI and I like him so much). Everyone is incredibly nice and supportive, I just feel so stupid, and feel like I'm not doing much to prove I'm not stupid....

Has anyone else been through this or have any advice? Thanks in advance!

Everyone has to go through that first new grad student research rotation. It sounds to me like maybe you are trying to do too much at once. I suggest that you make a list of everything that you want to get done during your rotation. Then, you should prioritize--what is the most important thing to do first? Second? What would be nice to get done but isn't the end of the world if it doesn't get done? If you're not sure, ask to meet with one of the senior people in your lab or even with the PI if you think he'd be willing to sit down with you and help you set some goals.

As for the presentation, the only way to get good at those is to practice. I find that going through a presentation twice on my own before the real deal is essential. First, it lets me reorganize any slides that are unclear or would be better in a different order. Second, it helps me smooth out the rough spots, so to speak. Since you are just starting out, you may need to practice your talk more times than I normally do. Go through it as many times as you need to so that you feel comfortable presenting to the group. Also, after you go through it a few times yourself, see if you can ask a senior grad student or post doc to listen to you present and critique your presentation.

Most of all, try to be patient and kind to yourself. You are not an idiot, and you are capable of learning and doing the things you need to learn and do. Again, take things one step at a time--no one expects you to finish your entire PhD this summer. 😉

Hope this helps, and best of luck. 🙂

 

[Build]

I can relate. As a rising 2nd year, I remember how my first rotation was. For me, I definitely had feelings of needing to prove myself. I may have a little chip on my shoulder, coming from a state school with virtually all of my classmates coming from very prestigious schools. What really made the difference for me was getting to know my classmates well. Once it really sunk in that I was in the same boat as everyone else for the next 8 years, I was able to enjoy myself more. Another thing for me was that people in science love to use their jargon and often assume you understand everything. I had switched research fields for my first rotation, and had this happened to me a lot. I had to get comfortable asking lots of questions and not worrying about sounding stupid, because in reality, I didn't.

What I would add is that as it is your first rotation, there are a lot of things that you can count as accomplishments for the summer that don't depend on getting stellar results in 2-3 months in a new lab or coming off as a genius. Things like getting exposure to new techniques, getting to know your classmates and lab mates, getting settled in a new city, getting familiarized with the research and faculty of your grad dept of interest, exploring new possible research directions, exploring areas of medicine you think are interesting, and pursuing hobbies to name a few. These are all things that will serve you well in the long run of your graduate years. By the time you finish the first two years of medical school and rotate again, your first summer's results won't be the end-all decision maker of working with this PI. It will also be how well you got along with the PI and the rest of the lab.

I don't know if you've heard this much yet, but at my program (and I assume at yours too), faculty think very highly of the MD/PhD students. You don't need to do anything crazy to impress them more, just keep doing things the way you were in undergrad. That approach obviously served you well enough to get you accepted.

Have more fun! I recommend BBQs, bowling, and happy hours.

 

[StIGMA]

Like it was said before, just relax a bit, chill out, and know that it takes time to get comfortable to these new situations. You do not need to prove yourself, just be yourself. In all likelihood, you are more gifted than your labmates and PI, except at this point you are just not as experienced (ie: they probably respect you more than you think). Give it time.

 

[JmanDO]

You guys are amazingly helpful. I start my first rotn in 2 weeks, and I too feel intimidated by Ivy league classmates while I'm from a public university.

I'm euphoric, I got this position I wanted so badly and now I just want to do my best to learn, have fun and not **** things up.

Thanks guys, good luck OP.

 

[URHere]

I just wanted to add my advice to what has already been said here.

Honestly, there is a certain amount of incompetence that comes with starting anything from the beginning. You are new to this lab, and unlike the more senior members, you don't yet have the benefit of knowing where everything is, how to run all of the common experiments, or how to gauge the mood and focus of every lab meeting. If you think back to your very first research experience you might find that you felt some of the same feelings you are experiencing now - the difference is that now you feel more obligated to prove yourself.

With that in mind, my advice would be to tackle your new lab rotation from the stance of learning something new rather than from the stance of proving that you deserve your MD/PhD spot. Any lab will understand that some things will be foreign to you and they do not expect full and instant success. If you are asked a question about your project that you don't know how to answer, just be honest and say, "Actually, I don't know, but I can find out" and then go and do the research. The same thing goes for techniques you are expected to run. If you aren't familiar with them, just do all the research you can and then ask a more experienced lab member to fill in the gaps. Asking to watch while someone else runs a similar technique is also useful, and (in my case at least) it may help you to bond with your lab mates and feel more at home. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it or in saying "I don't know" when you mean it.

More than anything, keep in mind that you are not expected to become an expert in something overnight. If you leave on Monday and there are still holes in your experiment, don't stress about it - just come in on Tuesday and try to fill them in. Don't rush into running an experiment just because the planning state is stressful or time-consuming.

Like others have said, we've all been there. Good luck.

 

[dmblue]

You guys are amazingly helpful. I start my first rotn in 2 weeks, and I too feel intimidated by Ivy league classmates while I'm from a public university.

I'm euphoric, I got this position I wanted so badly and now I just want to do my best to learn, have fun and not **** things up.

Thanks guys, good luck OP.

don't ever be intimidated by someone just because they went to a certain school

 

[QofQuimica]

don't ever be intimidated someone just because they went to a certain school

I agree. If anything, Jman, you got the last laugh, because you made it to the exact same place they did while spending a lot less money. 🙂

 

[INTJish]

Thanks guys 🙂 I did go in today with a much lighter attitude, taking what you guys said to heart, and keeping in mind this is not the end-all-be-all. I think I felt much better today-- definitely less stressed 😳 Thank you again and feel free to offer more advice if you have it!!

 

[JmanDO]

I agree. If anything, Jman, you got the last laugh, because you made it to the exact same place they did while spending a lot less money. 🙂

A LOT less. ~$250k less approx. Having no debt is very relaxing.

That's exactly what was running through my mind during interview season. I tell them where I'm from and they become smug and arrogant, and I'm thinking "Well, we're both here interviewing for the same spot aren't we?"

If anything, I'll be surpassing expectations rather than falling short of them. I'm not really worried about that.

 

[QofQuimica]

A LOT less. ~$250k less approx. Having no debt is very relaxing.

That's exactly what was running through my mind during interview season. I tell them where I'm from and they become smug and arrogant, and I'm thinking "Well, we're both here interviewing for the same spot aren't we?"

If anything, I'll be surpassing expectations rather than falling short of them. I'm not really worried about that.

The way I see it, it's often true that the *average* student at a prestigious college is better academically than the average student at a state school is. That's because there is a larger spread of academic performance at a state school. However, the *top* students from the state school are equally accomplished as the top students at the private school. And since you obviously fall into that group, you have nothing to feel intimidated about. 🙂