Just started my 1st year as VT student...HAVING LOTS OF TROUBLE & STRESSED

[The Cat]

Hey all. Thanks for clicking on this.

Just signed up on the site to write this. I have absolutely no one else to talk to and I am just stressed, hopeless and upset. I tried looking for threads that share my feelings but was unsuccessful so I decided to write this and hope someone, anyone, can genuinely advise me. I feel pathetic even while writing this.

Just started VT school and survived the first month.
You guys have heard it before: "My biggest dream is to work with animals! I love them, I love caring for them and want to make a difference in their lives, this IS my passion! YES, let's help animals!!" I have said that I've wanted to become a veterinarian ever since I could talk. I've said I wanted to do this before I could even spell the word.

Now I get into VT school and I am honestly wondering why am I there. Why am I wasting my time, my instructors and classmates' time. Why do I believe I can actually do this and even worse, do I even WANT to in the long run?

I feel this way because I believe I am simply too stupid to actually be a competent veterinary technician. I feel like I have finally gotten in over my head about something. I know VT school is no breeze, I know it is grueling and extremely strenuous, but at the same time, I have tests all over the place. I have more tests than I can efficiently study for. I just took a math test for example and felt so dumb (was intensely studying for A&P quiz the same day)...the teacher was nice enough to allow me to finish next class but I have two other tests I must study for in two days. I just feel like it is impossible for me to study and actually pass these tests and then REMEMBER IT later on down the line in addition to studying, learning and absorbing such VAST KNOWLEDGE! I just feel overwhelmed at the thought itself, because to me, it feels impossible.

I feel stupid because there are some people in the program that are already acclimated to the VT knowledge and experience - I understand there will be veterinary assistants and veterinary receptionists etc but some of them speak as if they are already VTs. Y'know, they're going back and forth with the instructor asking semi-advanced medical questions, talking about hydrostatic pressure in the kidneys, how EXACTLY the liver works etc and I'm just sitting there, y'know, like "what the f*ck is this? I didn't know this. How will I apply this when I graduate? IF I graduate?! " I feel like I should already know these things or something, I just feel incredibly stupid. I mean, I have some knowledge about animals but perhaps it was only basic knowledge.

I already feel isolated in the program, as there are always study groups floating around (people have already bonded with others) and they seem reluctant to let someone "unfamiliar" study with them. No one really talks to me and the ones that do, probably think I'm stupid. Just to give some background information about me, I am an introvert, I have trouble expressing myself (I think my negativity is affecting my brain cells honestly, I stutter too much and can't speak articulately like I used to) I get nervous easily and I am very awkward. I am just growing to hate myself. Very frustrated with myself for being so weak.

Surprisingly, my grades on the tests I have taken so far have been good. I pass them but I have no idea how to apply them to the anatomy of an animal . It is just little things like that that makes me think I am pursuing the wrong career.

There are a myriad of other things plaguing me but I'll just leave it at that. I should be studying now.

Thanks for reading (or even skimming through lol) all this.

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[KCgophervet]

So you are currently in a veterinary technician program correct? Do you have any experience working in the field (or volunteering or shadowing?) If not, get some! Honestly just working as a receptionist part time in a clinic will start getting your hands dirty and you'll start learning some stuff just by picking up whats going on at the clinic.

Second, you mentioned at one point in there that your dream was to become a veterinarian. Is that still true or did you realize that vet tech was really the job for you? Just wondering.

Finally, you might be feeling some Impostor Syndrome. Just because you feel lost doesn't mean no one else does.

 

[The Cat]

So you are currently in a veterinary technician program correct? Do you have any experience working in the field (or volunteering or shadowing?) If not, get some! Honestly just working as a receptionist part time in a clinic will start getting your hands dirty and you'll start learning some stuff just by picking up whats going on at the clinic.

Second, you mentioned at one point in there that your dream was to become a veterinarian. Is that still true or did you realize that vet tech was really the job for you? Just wondering.

Finally, you might be feeling some Impostor Syndrome. Just because you feel lost doesn't mean no one else does.

Thanks for your reply!
I do have some experience volunteering. I used to monitor/help cats safely wake up from spay/neuter surgery. I would give them vaccinations, take their temperatures and monitor them. It sounds like practically nothing but I did learn a lot of things I was not even expecting to learn just doing that. I also met and spoke with some VTs and other knowledgeable volunteers. To be honest, I don't have any time to go out and volunteer right now. All I do is study and prepare for tests. I will do that after this semester, though.

I am not sure I want to become a veterinarian now...right now, VT school is very difficult for me! So I think simply having the mindset of pursuing VMD would put me in the chair of a psychiatric office. I think I should just get accustomed to VT before anything, haha.

I read about Imposter Syndrome and y'know what, that really does sound like me. There are some things I've accomplished that I just don't recognize as something great, only something I managed to do - nothing more. You probably are right that others feel lost but, I feel like I'm in a different "realm" of lost. I feel that they will find their way and I simply will not. That TERRIFIES me because if I can't do this, I may as well just jump off a cliff - I've never wanted to do anything so much!! And I don't think I can do anything else.

I dunno, maybe I do need to see a therapist or something, lol.

 

[DVMDream]

Thanks for your reply!
I do have some experience volunteering. I used to monitor/help cats safely wake up from spay/neuter surgery. I would give them vaccinations, take their temperatures and monitor them. It sounds like practically nothing but I did learn a lot of things I was not even expecting to learn just doing that. I also met and spoke with some VTs and other knowledgeable volunteers. To be honest, I don't have any time to go out and volunteer right now. All I do is study and prepare for tests. I will do that after this semester, though.

I am not sure I want to become a veterinarian now...right now, VT school is very difficult for me! So I think simply having the mindset of pursuing VMD would put me in the chair of a psychiatric office. I think I should just get accustomed to VT before anything, haha.

I read about Imposter Syndrome and y'know what, that really does sound like me. There are some things I've accomplished that I just don't recognize as something great, only something I managed to do - nothing more. You probably are right that others feel lost but, I feel like I'm in a different "realm" of lost. I feel that they will find their way and I simply will not. That TERRIFIES me because if I can't do this, I may as well just jump off a cliff - I've never wanted to do anything so much!! And I don't think I can do anything else.

I dunno, maybe I do need to see a therapist or something, lol.

The thing in red jumps out a lot to me. You NEED to have something outside of school to keep you sane. I don't care if it is spending an hour to watch a favorite TV show, taking a day to read a book (that is not related to what you are learning), put together a puzzle, listen to music, watch a movie, go see a movie, go out to dinner, volunteer, etc. I don't care what it is you need to take "me" time every once in a while. Even now in vet school I will spend Friday night not looking at ANYTHING veterinary related at all. I don't care if I have an exam, two or three the next week. Friday night once I get home is MINE. I look forward to it and I know I can have something to enjoy outside of just more stress and studying. Ever since I have done this, I have actually improved my grades and I am much more relaxed now about vet school and exams and things.

The thing in blue might not be a bad idea. Find someone that you can talk to. To me it seems like you have a lot of anxiety and put a lot of pressure on yourself. Perhaps because you compare to how others are doing or how you think they are doing. Which will burn out anyone. Find someone that you trust to talk with. Not only does venting about it to someone help immensely, but they can often give tips on how to deal with that anxiety and how to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on you.

 

[dyachei]

I'm sorry that you are stressed, OP. I think it's important to figure out if veterinary medicine is something you want to pursue (both in the doctor and the tech roles). If yes, make sure to balance school and life, talk to someone if you need to, possibly reach out to a tutor. You are not efficiently studying if you don't have enough time and reaching out to instructors may help you figure out how to do so better. Good luck!

Also, please change your status. You are not a veterinary student, that is meant to be reserved for DVM/VMD (or the equivalent) students.

 

[The Cat]

The thing in red jumps out a lot to me. You NEED to have something outside of school to keep you sane. I don't care if it is spending an hour to watch a favorite TV show, taking a day to read a book (that is not related to what you are learning), put together a puzzle, listen to music, watch a movie, go see a movie, go out to dinner, volunteer, etc. I don't care what it is you need to take "me" time every once in a while. Even now in vet school I will spend Friday night not looking at ANYTHING veterinary related at all. I don't care if I have an exam, two or three the next week. Friday night once I get home is MINE. I look forward to it and I know I can have something to enjoy outside of just more stress and studying. Ever since I have done this, I have actually improved my grades and I am much more relaxed now about vet school and exams and things.

The thing in blue might not be a bad idea. Find someone that you can talk to. To me it seems like you have a lot of anxiety and put a lot of pressure on yourself. Perhaps because you compare to how others are doing or how you think they are doing. Which will burn out anyone. Find someone that you trust to talk with. Not only does venting about it to someone help immensely, but they can often give tips on how to deal with that anxiety and how to stop worrying about what others are doing and to focus on you.

Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. I understand I need to step away from studies but that is incredibly hard to do when there are so many things that must be done. Regardless, I will try to make more time for myself. I am looking into therapy, I'm seriously considering it, as I made a lot of stupid mistakes on my math test because of my anxiety. I don't really have anyone I can talk to in my program currently. I try to talk about the things that bother me to my boyfriend but he can only understand so much.

To Dyachei
I'm sorry about the placement of my thread and my status. Thanks for the advice.

 

[Fly Racing]

I highly recommend trying hypnosis for your test anxiety. They also have recordings for motivation, procrastination, memory, ect. There are free ones online, but also some good ones in the app store (some free, some not). They are a good thing to listen to before bed, so you're not even taking time out of your day. Good luck.

 

[CombatVeteranVeterinarian]

May I suggest a few words?

I am still an undergrad, but I've noticed that when you don't take yourself so seriously- it allows for learning to operate more efficiently. That is to say, when you realize that you will not know everything that God has designed on this wonderful planet- it opens you up TO learn. When I stepped back and realized, "Gee, I really don't know as much as I thought I did... I need to chill out" it allowed me to breathe, exhale, and enjoy the process (which will inevitably make your classroom environment better for you!) 🙂

My advice is to just take a breath, and relax. Realize that you are there- AND THERE IS MUCH MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE! Especially when it comes to animal medicine!

I always think of the book of Ecclesiastes (I know some of you aren't into religion 😛) when it describes things that are exceptionally-wise. Every one of the examples mentioned deals with animal behavior. Much is to be said about the role of an animal-doctor, much is to be said in the wisdom of studying the anatomical make-up of animals and their behavior. Remember that when you think you are not accomplishing anything. 🙂

So I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you're showered with all sorts of wonderful perspectives about your career-path. 😀

 

[CalliopeDVM]

Sounds like imposter syndrome to me too........most of my classmates in vet school had the same thing at the beginning. Many of us were waiting for the letter telling us that our admission was a mistake and we didn't belong there. The letters (obviously) never came, and as got to know each other and continued working at it, things got better.

 

[LetItSnow]

Sounds like imposter syndrome to me too........most of my classmates in vet school had the same thing at the beginning. Many of us were waiting for the letter telling us that our admission was a mistake and we didn't belong there. The letters (obviously) never came, and as got to know each other and continued working at it, things got better.

Wait. When does it get better? I'm still waiting.

 

[DVMDream]

Wait. When does it get better? I'm still waiting.

Me too. Any day now some big vet school head hauncho will come and physically remove me from the clinics. Any day.

 

[CalliopeDVM]

LOL -- we found it got better once we realized it wasn't just "me" and that it was a pretty common way to feel. If my classmates that I thought were doing better than me also felt that way, it didn't matter as much.

 

[LetItSnow]

LOL -- we found it got better once we realized it wasn't just "me" and that it was a pretty common way to feel. If my classmates that I thought were doing better than me also felt that way, it didn't matter as much.

Dammit Calliope .... I'm out in practice now and I'm still waiting for a man in a suit to come barging through the door to my practice saying "Ah-HA, there you are, pretending to be a vet!!!!!" 🙂

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Dammit Calliope .... I'm out in practice now and I'm still waiting for a man in a suit to come barging through the door to my practice saying "Ah-HA, there you are, pretending to be a vet!!!!!" 🙂

I don't think that ever goes away completely. I'm 5 years out now and I still worry they are going to find me. That's why I hide in the ivory tower of academia

Actually, a group of faculty and residents here all have lunch every now and then and we call ourselves the Imposter's Club. 🙂 We spend the time going around the group and doing problem-solving types of discussions for work/school/gender issues.