Lab Partner Issue (Don't know if it is correct forum)

[LadySophia]

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How do you explain to the lab teacher that you are doing poorly because your lab partner is constantly distracting you?

In my Micro lab class, I am partners with another girl. She asks me A LOT of questions and prevent me from smoothly doing the lab activities. Usually, I am okay with it. She's not a bad person. There use to be another guy in our group and he would help me answer her questions when he see that I am busy. Well, he dropped the class due to job reasons. Since he is not there anymore, I am the only focus of her attention and it is killing me!

When I am trying to sort out the activities and what to do, she is constantly bombarding me with questions. What do I do? What are we doing now? What is that? What am I suppose to do next? By the time I am walking her through her stuff, I am way behind on my stuff. For the last 3 labs, I have been the last person to finish my things. It is not really a problem if it wasn't for the fact that I have to rush through all the activities before the next class come in. I don't have a chance to analyze the things I have done. It is especially important, because my teacher gave us a big project to do after the midterm which involves a specimen. We have to do everything we do (all of the activities/tests) to the specimen. At the end of the semester, we have to make a report and guess what that specimen is. Well, I am worried that I will mess up this important report, because I do not get the chance to do thorough work due to constantly rushing.

Today, my lab partner REALLY got to me. I was all over the place and split one of my vials which is part of the series of activities to determine the specimen. I am already behind, but I am even more behind! After class, I try talking to the teacher to let me have more time to work on the activities. (The lab is 3 hours long. On a normal lab day, my teacher can talk to 1 and half to 2 hours of the lab. She is a very talkative and energetic person who can go on and on like an Energizer bunny.) She tells me that she thinks she gives the class plenty of time to work on the activities. Granted, I would have plenty of time if I was not hand-walking my lab partner through her things. However, I did not bring that up to my teacher. I do not want to let my teacher think that I am not being a team player or that I am blaming someone else for my problems. In a real workplace, you have to work with all sorts of people and you just need to get use to it. It's life. (Also, it is one of the reasons I do not pick my professors. I keep what I get. I consider it is giving me workplace and people training.) My teacher thinks that I do not pre-read the material. She says, "Sometimes, students do not read the labs before class and they come unprepared. Or, some students need to read more than other students." For some reason, that statement got to me and I became silent. I was devastated. Did my lab teacher really think I do not read before class or not enough? If she thinks that, I am doing something wrong. She thinks I look lost which in all honesty that is probably how I looked today. It is because I was running all over the place like a chicken with its head chopped off to get things set-up as my lab partner is clueless on what to do. Granted, she does help with clean-up, but that is about it today. I do not know how to do what I want to do which is

- set my lab teacher straight*
-be able to complete my work thoroughly*

*without giving the teacher the wrong idea/message and dealing with my lab partner in a good manner. After all, we have about 3 more weeks/ labs together.

 

[aSagacious]

If you only have 3 labs left my suggestion would be to tough it out for the remainder of the semester. In the future, though, this is something that the professor will likely make you manage on your own. Learning how to work productively in a group (sometimes with less-than-helpful peers) is part of the educational process. You could always ask your professor for pointers on how to be more efficient with a particular procedure, but it is unlikely that (s)he will change your lab partner for you.

 

[Mount Sinai]

Hahaha...I had lab partner troubles as well....with a girl. She used to attack me and such because i was too slow and all this junk. The professor noticed and moved me. Maybe, you should opt for a new partner...

 

[ZsaZsaM]

I get what you're saying completely, but I don't think you should be taking this all so seriously (yes, even "with your grade at stake"). You can be a bit upfront with her and tell her you guys are on a time crunch, so if she's not following something, she can ask you about it later. Tell her that you need to focus on the lab at hand completely in order to finish it on time. Obviously, it would be ideal if she was competent and could help you out to save time, but that's clearly not the case, so you'll have to rely on yourself to get things done on time. We've all been where you are. Women up and just get the work done.

 

[ksmajmudar]

Tell her you want to get the lab finished as soon as possible, so if she has questions, she should ask the professor. A little more nicely than that, of course, but you get the gist.

 

[typicalindian]

just pretend like you dont know, if she thinks that you are dumb she wont ask 🙂

 

[MartletMD]

Perhaps offer to help her through the lab procedure beforehand at the library or something, answer any questions she has before she gets to the lab?

Or, if it's questions that are spontaneously coming up during the lab that she might not have been able to see coming, offer to go over it right after the lab or the next day? It would make more work for you, but it might get her off your back in the lab environment, and maybe she'll work things out for herself. And, who knows, it could be valuable review time for you too.

 

[wholeheartedly]

"Sometimes, students do not read the labs before class and they come unprepared. Or, some students need to read more than other students." .

You know I think after that, I might've been tempted to say something like this, "Yeah, I think my lab partner might have that problem. She asks about everything we do and I spend a good chunk of my time trying to help her instead of working on completing the lab tasks. I want to be a team player and not leave her hanging, do you have any suggestions on how I can help help her get the information down without interfering with the lab work getting done?"

You could tough it out, but I do think it might be a good idea to have a conversation with one of them about it. Do you know why your lab partner is having trouble? Is it lack of preparation? If that's the case it shouldn't be costing you and isn't really your responsibility to help her that much. Are you doing the set of tasks as a pair (and if so are you doing all the work then while she asks questions?) or are you just kind of sharing a table or sitting by each other each doing your own set of tasks? How is she getting things done? Is there a TA you could talk to?

If she's struggling with the material, maybe suggest she ask the teacher those questions. I don't think it'd be unreasonable to say, "I'd really like to help you, but I'm kind of busy. Do you think you could ask another classmate or the instructor while I get this part done? "

You could pre-study with her like someone else suggested. Or you could talk to the instructor and frame it as wanting to help your partner without it interfering with you getting your stuff done. Don't frame it as accusing your partner of being the reason you aren't getting stuff done.

It might be hard to try and curb her and you might feel bad like you're leaving her hanging, but it could be a good growth experience for both of you. You'll get experience being a little more assertive and hopefully she'll learn she might need to be a bit more self-relient or prep better.

 

[Flopotomist]

You are an adult now, and problem resolution is your responsibility, not your lab instructors. It is perfectly OK to assert yourself to your lab partner and when she launches into her laundry list of questions say, "I am concerned that your lack of preparation is going to hinder our ability to finish on time" That sentence if delivered with a stern tone and direct eye contact should be enough to motivate anybody with dignity to be guilted into preparing better.

Then give her specific instructions for how to contribute to accomplishing your task. (eg, "I am going to do XYZ, while I am doing that, can you please do ABC.")

Whining to your lab instructor is just going to make you look like a brat.

 

[LadySophia]

If you only have 3 labs left my suggestion would be to tough it out for the remainder of the semester. In the future, though, this is something that the professor will likely make you manage on your own. Learning how to work productively in a group (sometimes with less-than-helpful peers) is part of the educational process. You could always ask your professor for pointers on how to be more efficient with a particular procedure, but it is unlikely that (s)he will change your lab partner for you.

The lab/activities are pretty straightforward. It is juggling all the activities in an organized manner that is the problem. Think of it like counting or doing a calculus problem. You are in the zone and focused, but a person is constantly interrupting you which throws you off. The problem is worse due to the fact that person is your partner and you have to make sure she is doing fine, because you also have a team activity to finish together. My lab class is small. There are four tables. Several people drop the class and there are only 3 tables left. Everyone on their own table try to help each other out. In my case, there is no mutual help going on. My table partner completely relies on me. I am trying to tough it out and I believe I am doing my best to be as efficient as I can be, but it is hard to be fast when I am basically giving the partner a piggy back ride. =/ The thing is that she is not a bad person. I feel sorry for her as her home situation is unsteady. So, she is constantly unprepared. I honestly do not want to be harsh and be the one to break the bad news to her. She has a lot of crappy people in her life and I thought I'd give her a break. I never thought she would be breaking my back. >.<

Hahaha...I had lab partner troubles as well....with a girl. She used to attack me and such because i was too slow and all this junk. The professor noticed and moved me. Maybe, you should opt for a new partner...

Due to how small my class is and how long we have been in the group together, it would be difficult.

I get what you're saying completely, but I don't think you should be taking this all so seriously (yes, even "with your grade at stake"). You can be a bit upfront with her and tell her you guys are on a time crunch, so if she's not following something, she can ask you about it later. Tell her that you need to focus on the lab at hand completely in order to finish it on time. Obviously, it would be ideal if she was competent and could help you out to save time, but that's clearly not the case, so you'll have to rely on yourself to get things done on time. We've all been where you are. Women up and just get the work done.

Yup. I am too soft and that is a bad trait to have. 🙁 Sometimes, I wonder if I have the personality to be a doctor. What is the "model doctor personality"?

Tell her you want to get the lab finished as soon as possible, so if she has questions, she should ask the professor. A little more nicely than that, of course, but you get the gist.

Everyone on their own table suppose to help each other out. It is like an unspoken rule kind of deal in the classroom.

just tell her STFO!

=X

just pretend like you dont know, if she thinks that you are dumb she wont ask 🙂

Hahaha. That will be my plan B.

Perhaps offer to help her through the lab procedure beforehand at the library or something, answer any questions she has before she gets to the lab?

Or, if it's questions that are spontaneously coming up during the lab that she might not have been able to see coming, offer to go over it right after the lab or the next day? It would make more work for you, but it might get her off your back in the lab environment, and maybe she'll work things out for herself. And, who knows, it could be valuable review time for you too.

It is a great idea. Unfortunately, her life situation leaves her with no time to meet me before and after class. She has a son to take care of. Also, she is not too eager or into this particular class. =/

You know I think after that, I might've been tempted to say something like this, "Yeah, I think my lab partner might have that problem. She asks about everything we do and I spend a good chunk of my time trying to help her instead of working on completing the lab tasks. I want to be a team player and not leave her hanging, do you have any suggestions on how I can help help her get the information down without interfering with the lab work getting done?"

You could tough it out, but I do think it might be a good idea to have a conversation with one of them about it. Do you know why your lab partner is having trouble? Is it lack of preparation? If that's the case it shouldn't be costing you and isn't really your responsibility to help her that much. Are you doing the set of tasks as a pair (and if so are you doing all the work then while she asks questions?) or are you just kind of sharing a table or sitting by each other each doing your own set of tasks? How is she getting things done? Is there a TA you could talk to?

If she's struggling with the material, maybe suggest she ask the teacher those questions. I don't think it'd be unreasonable to say, "I'd really like to help you, but I'm kind of busy. Do you think you could ask another classmate or the instructor while I get this part done? "

You could pre-study with her like someone else suggested. Or you could talk to the instructor and frame it as wanting to help your partner without it interfering with you getting your stuff done. Don't frame it as accusing your partner of being the reason you aren't getting stuff done.

It might be hard to try and curb her and you might feel bad like you're leaving her hanging, but it could be a good growth experience for both of you. You'll get experience being a little more assertive and hopefully she'll learn she might need to be a bit more self-relient or prep better.

That is a pretty smooth answer. I wish I thought of that when talking to the teacher.

My lab partner is having trouble due to lack of preparation. She has a few personal problems going on and a child to take care of. And, it can be the fact that she is uninterested in the subject.... =X

You are an adult now, and problem resolution is your responsibility, not your lab instructors. It is perfectly OK to assert yourself to your lab partner and when she launches into her laundry list of questions say, "I am concerned that your lack of preparation is going to hinder our ability to finish on time" That sentence if delivered with a stern tone and direct eye contact should be enough to motivate anybody with dignity to be guilted into preparing better.

Then give her specific instructions for how to contribute to accomplishing your task. (eg, "I am going to do XYZ, while I am doing that, can you please do ABC.")

Whining to your lab instructor is just going to make you look like a brat.

Eeek. Did I portray a vibe of whininess? 😱

I agree with you that I need to gain some social problem resolution skills especially as an adult. But, it is terribly difficult with my soft and sympathetic personality. (I am one of those folks who hate and avoid hostile or confrontational situations. Love and Peace over Hate. 🙂) However, something needs to be done. Obviously, this trait is not helping me and I need to work on it especially if I want to make it out alive in this type of career. I do appreciate your response.

P.S. For some reason, I laughed when I read your comment. I don't know why I laughed and am still trying to figure out why. 😕

 

[ppfizenm]

acid spilled in the lap is a powerful motivator

 

[tiedyeddog]

just pretend like you dont know, if she thinks that you are dumb she wont ask 🙂

Bingo!!!! People never ask who they perceive as dumb questions

 

[deleted393595]

How do you explain to the lab teacher that you are doing poorly because your lab partner is constantly distracting you?

When I am trying to sort out the activities and what to do, she is constantly bombarding me with questions. What do I do? What are we doing now? What is that? What am I suppose to do next? By the time I am walking her through her stuff, I am way behind on my stuff. For the last 3 labs, I have been the last person to finish my things. It is not really a problem if it wasn't for the fact that I have to rush through all the activities before the next class come in. I don't have a chance to analyze the things I have done. It is especially important, because my teacher gave us a big project to do after the midterm which involves a specimen. We have to do everything we do (all of the activities/tests) to the specimen. At the end of the semester, we have to make a report and guess what that specimen is. Well, I am worried that I will mess up this important report, because I do not get the chance to do thorough work due to constantly rushing.

You're kind enough to not want to hurt her feelings, but I feel that this is a recurring situation that applies to not just your lab, but also life. Someday you might have a needy friend who keeps on calling on you for help. Being nice, you might oblige and help her out every time, but your personal life is going to start taking a toll. And once that happens, who knows what sorts of things that could lead to?

Here's what I'm trying to say: You have to be tough and understand that your needs and grades come first. I'm not saying that you have to completely bulldoze your partner, but you can ease off the pedal and focus on getting your work done first and answering her questions later when you have some time. So if she asks you a question, just say, "I'll answer it later" or something to that effect. Hopefully she understands that you can't be her crutch forever.

It is a great idea. Unfortunately, her life situation leaves her with no time to meet me before and after class. She has a son to take care of. Also, she is not too eager or into this particular class. =/

My lab partner is having trouble due to lack of preparation. She has a few personal problems going on and a child to take care of. And, it can be the fact that she is uninterested in the subject.... =X

Unfortunately, that's her problem not yours so don't feel responsible for it. While her problems may sound terrible, she should have dropped the class if she could not give 100% to it.

If you still end up having problems with her, take charge and delegate tasks (aka, " STFU. Do what I say and don't ask why"), but be nice about it. Don't take time to explain what or why unless you have the time to. Simply outline the procedure and make sure that she gets it done exactly. It's stentorian, but you have to do what you have to do.

Eeek. Did I portray a vibe of whininess? 😱

Nope. I totally get where you're coming from since I used to be like that.

 

[MajinVegeta]

just throw him under the bus

 

[lucitrea]

tell her to ask the teacher, cause youre not sure

 

[kpcrew]

just throw him under the bus

 

[protonate]

Given that there are only 3 labs remaining, it's too late to change. At this point, I would say something like "we're bad on timing and we should make efforts to be more efficient" Tell her that you'll do something to be more efficient (like reading the labs more in detail before, simply to not place the whole blame on her) and that maybe she can ask you all of the questions she may have after the lab is done. Let this also be a lesson to you about dealing with problems once they begin and communicate whatever is on your mind and be direct about it. You are paying a lot of money to get this education and it is not fair, and by letting this linger for a while makes the confrontation all the more difficult. If you talk about things that annoy you from the start, it makes the person listen to you and respect you more and your whole experience could have been very different.