Learning to Accept Yourself as You Are?

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failedatlife

failedatlife

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That second year resident who is the same age as you. No pubmed publications and he went to a low ranked medical school. Obviously he destroyed Step 1 and 2CK. Oh, and his fiancé (yes fiancé at the same age you can't even get a date) is a blonde/blue eyed bombshell you would give anything to take out on a date and buy flowers/open the door/hold her hand. The things I'm lacking in life that I wish I had. I just feel so inferior. Sometimes the people who appear the happiest/most upbeat are honestly the loneliest people inside.

I know you shouldn't compare yourself to others, but it just gets so depressing some times.

PS: please don't ask me about the cycle. I don't want to think about it until I see that email the Monday before.
 
Yeah I can relate. I saw a neurosurg resident the other day with his smoking hot fiance who works as a nurse in the hospital. I felt like crap walking past them, alone and single. Some days older patients will hold my hand if they are being scoped in the office, and I feel loved for a change. The other day two younger nurses touched my arm to get my attention (both were engaged though), and I felt so good that girls my age would actually touch me. It's been so long since I had intimate contact with a woman, I can't even imagine the euphoria I will feel when it happens again.
 
DrRiker said:
Perhaps be aware of the decisions you make in each moment and how, by modifying your normal behavior, you can radically change the trajectory of your life. Try talking to that bombshell nurse because, at one point, the neurosurgeon's wife was a stranger to him too.
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But he is a neurosurgeon...
 
Perhaps not the best advice at this time, but life isn't fair and it was never meant to be. It's all about playing the hand you're dealt as best as you can. The sooner we all accept that, the sooner we can find our own happiness.

If you insist on looking around the table at how everyone else is doing, look no further than the pre-med forums and see how far you've come. If that doesn't do it, I can think of a dozen other places for you to compare yourself with to see how fortunate you are.

I feel like, as med students, we get tunnel vision about staying "competitive" and matching into a competitive specialty and the difference between making $300k vs. $600k. Probably because we have nothing better to think about. It helps to take a step back every once and again and think of yourself in the context of a person as opposed to a medical student or doctor.
 
DrRiker said:
Perhaps be aware of the decisions you make in each moment and how, by modifying your normal behavior, you can radically change the trajectory of your life. Try talking to that bombshell nurse because, at one point, the neurosurgeon's wife was a stranger to him too.
Click to expand...
Talking is a microaggression
 
ortnakas said:
If you’re not a troll I truly do feel bad for you, but what do you want us to say at this point?
Click to expand...

I'm not a troll ortnakas. Why would I waste my time venting here if I was happy with my life??? I'd be happily coasting in a high-end residency right now with a beautiful girl at my age. I'm not looking for pity, I did this all to myself and set the wrong expectations for myself.
 
You don't know anything about the neurosurgery resident's home life. His "bombshell" fiancée could be a gold digger. Or she could be cheating on him. Or maybe they constantly argue and cry themselves to sleep at night. Or maybe they have fertility issues.

Maybe he hates his residency. Or maybe he has a secret substance addiction. Heck, maybe he would be much happier in your position right now.

You simply don't know.

Instead of speculating about how wonderful other people's personal lives are, why not try to improve your own? Contrary to what some may think, romantic success has very little to do with the prestige of one's chosen profession; it has far, far more to do with personal qualities, such as confidence, openness, and adaptability.

Best of luck!
 
OP, you don't know. You have never walked in shoes other than your own. Your assumptions are costing you your happiness.

It's difficult, yes. I'm on the interview trail myself, it's easy to feel inferior during such a precarious time, where everyone is touting the tip of their iceberg, and meetings are fleeting and thin-veiled.

I tell myself this all the time, the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. If I give it 110%, I can't complain. This is my endowment and so it shall be. The rest is the natural variance of mankind. We are an imperfect species. And that's a good thing.

EDIT: 9 times out of 10 the bombshells are crazy. Please see the crazy/hotness axis.
 
failedatlife said:
Oh, and his fiancé (yes fiancé at the same age you can't even get a date) is a blonde/blue eyed bombshell you would give anything to take out on a date and buy flowers/open the door/hold her hand.
Click to expand...

Damn, I wish there were more of those precious specimens. I wish there were enough so that every man could get one.









That would leave all the Azn girls for me!:hardy:
 
akuko2 said:
I hope the mods don't stop these kinds of posts. I can get a healthy review of cluster B personality disorders from perusing SDN.
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For those of you who haven't taken Psych courses yet:

Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.
 
smurfeyD said:
Even weird people can find love and be happy haha its literally just choosing to be happy
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Haha, it's funny cus I was in this U/S workshop thing and a few of my fellow second years got into this discussion about how they all learned to be themselves and stop trying to "be cool" - it was the most humbling, realistic conversation I'd overheard in a while

Take home: Easier said than done but own who you are - if people judge you for it, that's their own deal. The plus side is that you only attract people to your life that actually want to be there.
 
thatawkguy said:
Yeah I can relate. I saw a neurosurg resident the other day with his smoking hot fiance who works as a nurse in the hospital. I felt like crap walking past them, alone and single. Some days older patients will hold my hand if they are being scoped in the office, and I feel loved for a change. The other day two younger nurses touched my arm to get my attention (both were engaged though), and I felt so good that girls my age would actually touch me. It's been so long since I had intimate contact with a woman, I can't even imagine the euphoria I will feel when it happens again.
Click to expand...
This is the weirdest **** I have ever seen on this site. Please tell me this was some really strange joke.
 
OP please go talk to someone. You will probably have a lot more success dating when you have worked through some of your issues. A bit of confidence goes a long way in the dating game.

Anti-PD1 said:
EDIT: 9 times out of 10 the bombshells are crazy. Please see the crazy/hotness axis.
Click to expand...

original.gif

Respect the axis
 
teeayejay said:
Haha, it's funny cus I was in this U/S workshop thing and a few of my fellow second years got into this discussion about how they all learned to be themselves and stop trying to "be cool" - it was the most humbling, realistic conversation I'd overheard in a while

Take home: Easier said than done but own who you are - if people judge you for it, that's their own deal. The plus side is that you only attract people to your life that actually want to be there.
Click to expand...

So very true. Better to be not-liked for who you truly are than to be sorta-liked for who you aren't. Best of all of course is being liked for who you are, but until you actually start acting like who you are, you'll never find those people.
 
DBV said:
This is the weirdest **** I have ever seen on this site. Please tell me this was some really strange joke.
Click to expand...
Thanks, and no it wasn't a joke. I'm seeing the school psychiatrist, and I've told him this. I'm pretty sure I have him baffled and I'm one of his toughest cases. I did get a date with a really cute 18 year old girl for tonight, so maybe that will help. I'm 24, so she's not exactly my age, but it's a start.
 
thatawkguy said:
Thanks, and no it wasn't a joke. I'm seeing the school psychiatrist, and I've told him this. I'm pretty sure I have him baffled and I'm one of his toughest cases. I did get a date with a really cute 18 year old girl for tonight, so maybe that will help. I'm 24, so she's not exactly my age, but it's a start.
Click to expand...

Well try not to butcher her and save her in your freezer so you can eat her little by little
 
Your title asks how you accept yourself as you are. Your very first sentence is literally about someone else. Does that seem strange to you?

Maybe accept yourself as you are, and finally deal with the life you actually live - not the life you think you want to live.
 
Dude can you stop, you’re not funny anymore...I’m sorry that you’re struggling to match ENT but many of us are in more stressful situations and every time I see another one of your posts, it just annoys me when I’m already stressed for my own prospects. You’re starting to become a net negative on here with these posts.
 
Syncrohnize said:
Dude can you stop, you’re not funny anymore...I’m sorry that you’re struggling to match ENT but many of us are in more stressful situations and every time I see another one of your posts, it just annoys me when I’m already stressed for my own prospects. You’re starting to become a net negative on here with these posts.
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Geez, you're so negative.
 
So much drama. Being a doctor always seemed like a great hookup line.
 
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